Long relationship...marriage is not so farfetched.

So yesterday I was laying in bed with my girl. She looks at me and asks "babe...if I gained like 40 pounds, would you still be with me?"

so I gave her an honest answer "You cant gain 40 points in a night..if you started gaining weight, and its a problem, then I'd point it out so you work on it. If I feel like you gained 40 pounds because you dont care about looking good for me anymore, then its a problem. It would be a problem not because your bigger...its because you dont care anymore. I work out to look good for you and do stuff to please you..so its the same"

She understood it..but now im wondering if my thoughts are wrong.
She's thin and hot now..and I want her to stay that way.is that so wrong?

5/25/2006 3:18:44 PM

i pretty much agree with what you said

5/25/2006 3:19:44 PM

Quote :

"I'd point it out so you work on it"

So how was sleeping on the couch last night?

5/25/2006 3:19:51 PM

If your girlfriend starts gaining weight...wouldnt you point it out? She might get upset for a while but its easier for her to do something about it soon..rather than after she gains too much. Then its a big problem for both of you.

5/25/2006 3:23:03 PM

why would you answer a question like that?


women ask stupid trick questions like this all the time just dont answer

5/25/2006 3:23:12 PM

sounds pretty fair.

no fatties

5/25/2006 3:24:10 PM

perfect response. You took a killer question and slung it right back at her. gg

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 3:28 PM. Reason : .]

5/25/2006 3:27:50 PM

Honestly,

Yes, I woulda care and I would not be as attracted to you(a girl, not you.). If I am not attracted to you, but enjoy talking with you, eating dinner and all, but no sex, then we are friends.

People you like but are not attracted to are friends, in my opinion.

That would be like you saying, if I suddenly became a huge vegan and devout buddhist and wracked up 40K in debt, would she be affected by that.

Of course gaining 40 pounds would change your outlook, the just gained an extra 1/3rd of herself.

I might be shallow, but anything that changes the current conditions offer a reasonable cause for reevaluation. In my relationship, I can tolerate a lot of change, because I love her. But if she decided to balloon up to 170 then I think we might be testing the limits of that. She knows if she gets obese it will affect my opinion. In the same way I am maintaining myself for her and not gaining large amounts of weight.

It is not wrong of you to want her to be thin and hot, but you need to do the same for her.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 3:31 PM. Reason : a girl, not you particularly.]

5/25/2006 3:30:22 PM

she's preparing to tell you she's preggers

5/25/2006 3:30:52 PM

i would tell that bitch to get on a treadmill!

5/25/2006 3:31:38 PM

With 40 lbs of weight added I would be more worried about health problems than her appearance.

5/25/2006 3:31:51 PM

I'd care.

5/25/2006 3:32:23 PM

I agree with everything you said, but sometimes it's just better to lie

5/25/2006 3:32:47 PM

a 150 lb woman is not going to have weight-related health problems

5/25/2006 3:33:09 PM

5/25/2006 3:33:15 PM

I would actually draw the line at 10-15 lbs... before I would leave her. But she would never gain that. pregnancy of course would be ok.

My gf and I have already discussed this many times, she's actually buggin me because I gained 10lbs over the past couple months...and i've been trying for a couple years to gain any weight!

Also, after he gives birth she has 2 months to get back to her old weight/shape. Our relationship is based on fitness

5/25/2006 3:37:38 PM

If anything I would worry about her putting on 40 pounds more from the health aspect. Looks are great and all, but being alive is good too.

5/25/2006 3:44:26 PM

Quote :

"after he gives birth "

5/25/2006 3:48:53 PM

women get all anoying about shit like that sometimes

5/25/2006 3:51:47 PM

5/25/2006 3:52:03 PM

5/25/2006 3:55:22 PM

Quote :

"perfect response. You took a killer question and slung it right back at her. gg"

5/25/2006 4:02:57 PM

Quote :

"If I feel like you gained 40 pounds because you dont care about looking good for me anymore, then its a problem."

it should be more like:

Quote :

"If I feel like you gained 40 pounds because you dont care about looking good for me yourself anymore, then its a problem."

5/25/2006 4:04:20 PM

Quote :

"Also, after he gives birth she has 2 months to get back to her old weight/shape. Our relationship is based on fitness"

haha I don't know what kind of fantasy world you are living in, but no healthy female can lose all the weight that she gained during pregnancy in 2 months. The first 4-6 weeks after birth, a female is not supossed to exercise AT ALL, especially if you had a c-section or if you have stitches or anything. So, you're giving her between 2-4 weeks to lose 15-35 pounds, depending on how much she gained during pregnancy and if she had any complications. It actually takes a girl a year after birth to get back to "normal" with hormones, weight, and feeling like herself.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 4:07 PM. Reason : oh yeah]

5/25/2006 4:06:04 PM

Quote :

"a 150 lb woman is not going to have weight-related health problems"

Yes she is. 40 lbs of weight gain is not healthy and if her frame's ideal weight is 110 and she weighs 150 then she is most definitely at a significantly increased risk for heart disease, high blood pressue, diabetes, etc. I mean think about it... that is a 37% increase in weght on a girl and its mainly fat... thats a lot.

Of course there is also a problem that people think that simply because they are skinny (or at least not overweight) that they are healthy... that is definitely not the case.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 4:10 PM. Reason : .]

5/25/2006 4:07:16 PM

you should care. 40 pounds is a lot!

5/25/2006 4:09:21 PM

Quote :

" haha I don't know what kind of fantasy world you are living in, but no healthy female can lose all the weight that she gained during pregnancy in 2 months. The first 4-6 weeks after birth, a female is not supossed to exercise AT ALL, especially if you had a c-section or if you have stitches or anything. So, you're giving her between 2-4 weeks to lose 15-35 pounds, depending on how much she gained during pregnancy and if she had any complications. It actually takes a girl a year after birth to get back to "normal" with hormones, weight, and feeling like herself."

Thats just bullshit propaganda that lazy, fat women are throwing out there.

5/25/2006 4:12:39 PM

Quote :

"The first 4-6 weeks after birth, a female is not supossed to exercise AT ALL"

says who?

moderate exercise is better than being a slug

5/25/2006 4:15:43 PM

no fat chicks. a girl should care about her appearance because she respects herself above anything else. 40 lbs is not healthy for a girl to gain, unless she ways like 80-90 lbs

5/25/2006 5:49:24 PM

if your not lindsay lohan, hit the gym.

5/25/2006 5:50:57 PM

Id like my boyfriend to point out something to me he doesnt like, because I do want to please him. Id know he meant it in the most sincere way and not to offend me, so the likelihood of being cross about it would be nil.

5/25/2006 6:12:57 PM

so if your boyfriend told you to lose weight... you wouldn't be offended?

5/25/2006 6:16:50 PM

You gotta play this off with a little bit of humor. You simply say "Well, I know you wouldn't leave me when I decide to quit going to the gym and sit around drinking beer all day." The only way out of these bullshit questions is to not answer the question.

5/25/2006 7:18:31 PM

Yeah, pretty good answer, that if she lets herself go like that it probably shows she doesn't care.

A lot of commitments depend on both parties maintaining reasonable performance. Remember how your acceptance letter to State said "You can come here, but only if you keep your grades up for the rest of the year"?

5/25/2006 7:23:46 PM

People gain weight when they get old, both men and women. She won't always be thin and hot, so as far as marriage goes, looks should be the last thing to do with the relationship.

5/25/2006 7:24:08 PM

to be quite honest

it isnt fucking healthy to gain 40 lbs

so yea i point it out, but it wouldnt get that far b4 i say something, id also respect it if she said that to me, but there is no way id be a fat ass

5/25/2006 7:24:57 PM

If my girlfriend gained 40 lbs, that would be like a 40% increase

I dont even want to think what that could/would look like

5/25/2006 7:26:43 PM

^^^ you gain weight, but you dont have to gain 40lbs. it is reasonable to gain a bit after children, but proper exercise and diet can minimize your matabolism change.

looks shouldnt be the first OR last thing in a relationship, i weigh everything together. i wouldnt want a grotesque person that was cool nor would i want a hot bitch.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 7:32 PM. Reason : .]

5/25/2006 7:32:05 PM

Quote :

"it isnt fucking healthy to gain 40 lbs"

5/25/2006 7:33:05 PM

Yes I'd care. It's not shallow to care about changes in your lover's appearance if it's under her control

Gaining 40 pounds means she seriously fucking gave up, and obviously doesn't care about your opinion.

5/25/2006 7:34:31 PM

i would care if my boyfriend gained 40 pounds
i would still love him
but i would encourage him to lose weight by buying and cooking low fat meals or start exercising together
i would also expect him to care if i gained that much weight. 10-15 pounds is one thing, but 40 is something else. i would be worried about his health and i think he is too cute now to ruin a good thing.

5/25/2006 7:35:08 PM

I don't understand why people characterize caring about looks as "shallow". I'd call not caring about looks contrived.

Of course you want to be attracted to your SO. If your SO becomes unattractive and it's under his/her control, then that's pretty fucked up on his/her part, not on yours for caring.

5/25/2006 7:38:27 PM

fat chicks should all go live on an island together.

5/25/2006 8:11:21 PM

I guess it all depends on whether you love her or not.

5/25/2006 8:13:03 PM

Quote :

"People gain weight when they get old, both men and women. She won't always be thin and hot, so as far as marriage goes, looks should be the last thing to do with the relationship."

that's something that a fat person would say.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 8:20 PM. Reason : fat]

5/25/2006 8:17:26 PM

I know plenty of older people that are hot as hell (moms at my country club)

it's possible


NO FATTIES

5/25/2006 8:22:42 PM

I thought that was one of those questions that you were supposed to lie when you answered

5/25/2006 9:07:36 PM

If she can put on 40 pounds and not look like she's put on 40 pounds, then by all means.

5/25/2006 9:09:26 PM

^then that means she was really big to begin with.


Her mom has a great figure...and HOT...if I know she'll end up looking half as good as her, I'd start saving up money for the ring right now.

[Edited on May 25, 2006 at 9:47 PM. Reason : .]

5/25/2006 9:46:01 PM

Quote :

"as far as marriage goes, looks should be the last thing to do with the relationship."

Don't be stupid. The majority of marital problems stem from sexual dissatisfaction. And no, I didn't pull that out of my ass.

5/25/2006 9:49:32 PM