BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
http://christwire.org/2011/05/is-my-child-having-sex/ I saw this on Fark and it made me LOL a little bit.
Here's a few points the article tries to make that "prove" intent/guilt. There's much more.
Quote : | "2) Washing their own clothes and frequent bathing: In an attempt to hide the smell of crusting semen or foreign cologne, a young person will take up household duties normally reserved for mother." |
Quote : | "6) For boys, switching underwear styles: This may come as a surprise, but boys in the early stages of sexual prowling often make a shift from one underwear type to another. Some go from briefs to boxers to allow for easier access during oral copulation. " |
Quote : | "A used condom will look like the finger of a rubber glove and will be sticky to the touch.*" |
5/22/2011 8:32:27 PM |
tchenku midshipman 18586 Posts user info edit post |
?_? switching underwear styles just happens when you realize everyone will make fun of your briefs.
Quote : | "premature sexual activity is often a warning sign of larger underlying problems, from drug use to mental disorders" |
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:36 PM. Reason : ]5/22/2011 8:35:19 PM |
bonerjamz 04 All American 3217 Posts user info edit post |
lol one of the links from that article
http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to-spot-a-masturbator/
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:38 PM. Reason : smug!] 5/22/2011 8:36:50 PM |
tchenku midshipman 18586 Posts user info edit post |
^LMAO
what is that "DHg" of Dr. Phillips'? 5/22/2011 8:39:08 PM |
BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
^^hahaha, I didn't click the link. That's awesome.] 5/22/2011 8:39:40 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
5/22/2011 8:39:51 PM |
puck_it All American 15446 Posts user info edit post |
Christ wire is hilarious 5/22/2011 8:42:31 PM |
BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
I neglected to include the * footnote:
Quote : | "* I should note that used condoms do not always indicate sexual intercourse. Some boys practice wearing prophylactics in preparation for their “big day.” Others have been known to collect used condoms out of curiosity. They are intrigued by the confusing bodily interactions of the older children around them and collect such tokens like one would stamps or rocks. They often hide these damp, flaccid rubbers in cigar boxes in the backs of closets. If you discover such a horde, it may be your first clue in the search for the “Hookup Site” of an older sibling mentioned above. Use the opportunity to ask your boy where he chanced upon such a foul and dangerous thing and follow up on the lead. " |
WTF? I hope none of you collected your friends' used condoms.5/22/2011 8:44:34 PM |
stategrad100 All American 6606 Posts user info edit post |
ROFL @ SMUG ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
lmao 5/22/2011 8:45:11 PM |
bonerjamz 04 All American 3217 Posts user info edit post |
chronic masturbator EXPOSED???
5/22/2011 8:46:48 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
5/22/2011 8:48:27 PM |
Nerdchick All American 37009 Posts user info edit post |
is this real??
PS ... LOL
Quote : | " 6) The “Hookup” Spot: A little detective work can lead a parent to discover their child’s secret sexual liaison location. In the summer, this is usually outside or in an unused structure. Look for it in the bushes near the picnic area of a lake, at the end of a dead end country road or in barns and abandoned houses. You will find the ground worn and muddy from activity. There will be old blankets and possibly even a mattress rescued from the trash heap. Cigarette butts, beer cans and brightly colored square condom wrappers will tell the sordid tale of youthful violation." | 5/22/2011 8:49:47 PM |
stategrad100 All American 6606 Posts user info edit post |
again, referencing smug...
Harry Potter exposed? 5/22/2011 8:50:04 PM |
UberCool All American 3457 Posts user info edit post |
http://christwire.org/2011/05/parents-guide-to-common-teen-internet-sex-slang/
Quote : | "BRB – Bareback (sex without a condom)" |
who knew?5/22/2011 8:53:04 PM |
stategrad100 All American 6606 Posts user info edit post |
^ ^ I thought since the rapture bullshit all of these cult members would have evaporated so the intelligent God-loving people who tell you that condoms are dangerous or ruthlessly obsess over adolescent development would be expunged off the face of the 21st century planet
I once accidentally tested out a "campus church" that I soon realized was a cult when "group prayer" turned into an individual sharing with the group that he was sorry to God for masturbation and nobody batted an eye. I quickly left. 5/22/2011 8:53:28 PM |
bonerjamz 04 All American 3217 Posts user info edit post |
from the sidebar
Quote : | "Most Blessed This Week
“Power Bottoming,” The Most Disturbing New Trend in American Homosexuality" |
5/22/2011 8:53:32 PM |
Nerdchick All American 37009 Posts user info edit post |
WTF???
http://christwire.org/2011/05/should-menstruating-women-use-the-internet/ 5/22/2011 8:53:45 PM |
jstpack All American 2184 Posts user info edit post |
holy shit, this is great.
it's the religious version of the onion. 5/22/2011 8:54:11 PM |
bonerjamz 04 All American 3217 Posts user info edit post |
http://christwire.org/2010/03/vajazzling-the-newest-threat-to-your-college-son/
VAJAZZLING!!!
Quote : | "In the 1950s and before, things were much better on campuses nationwide. At that point in time, women were still more inclined to stay at home and raise a family, as nature intended." |
Quote : | "You see, parents, females instinctively desire to seek out a quality mate and tempt him to have children with her. We cannot fully fault college girls for being a victim of their feeble, near-sighted minds. It is innate to the XX gene-set.
Even now, college females are relentless in their efforts to tempt, subdue and trap a mate. There is only so much a study-weary, homesick and naive young men can do against such odds.
So that leads to today, where college female students are now “vajazzling” their private areas. They are adorning their erogenous suprapubic area with jewels, and then trying to tempt men to follow the sparkles right to a place where only the married belong. You get my drift." |
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:58 PM. Reason : .]5/22/2011 8:57:41 PM |
stategrad100 All American 6606 Posts user info edit post |
brickyard gary beats it fervorishly
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 9:04 PM. Reason : ] 5/22/2011 9:02:28 PM |
The5thsoth All American 4813 Posts user info edit post |
How do I shot web? 5/22/2011 9:04:08 PM |
bottombaby IRL 21954 Posts user info edit post |
Christwire is hilarious. Even tho it's a parody, I know there are fundamentals out there who'd take it seriously. 5/22/2011 9:06:54 PM |
ShawnaC123 2019 Egg Champ 46681 Posts user info edit post |
http://christwire.org/2010/08/the-dirty-girl-trend-is-there-anything-less-attractive-than-a-young-promiscuous-coke-addict-who-doesnt-bathe/
scroll down....
isn't that Joie? 5/22/2011 9:26:23 PM |
puck_it All American 15446 Posts user info edit post |
LOL 5/22/2011 9:29:52 PM |
AlaskanGrown I'm Randy 4694 Posts user info edit post |
^haha I think you're right. 5/22/2011 9:29:57 PM |
AndyMac All American 31922 Posts user info edit post |
Nah but it's still funny.5/22/2011 9:33:07 PM |
yuffie_chan All American 4898 Posts user info edit post |
^ Are you sure it isn't? It scared me for a bit 5/22/2011 9:34:13 PM |
Prawn Star All American 7643 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Christwire is hilarious. Even tho it's a parody, I know there are fundamentals liberals out there who'd take it seriously." |
Rachel Maddow and the Huffington Post, among others, has been fooled by christwire. It clowns on liberals who are dumb enough not to realize that it's parody.
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 9:49 PM. Reason : 2]5/22/2011 9:48:14 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
Aw jeez
not this thread again
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message. 5/22/2011 9:49:00 PM |
AndyMac All American 31922 Posts user info edit post |
But seriously though.
Is this Joie?!
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 10:48 PM. Reason : ] 5/22/2011 10:48:34 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
Yes. I don't think she owns the photo though. So, the photographer can use the image however they want to. 5/22/2011 10:53:55 PM |
bottombaby IRL 21954 Posts user info edit post |
Yes, it's Joie. It's a stock photo. I think this is the 2nd time the photo has been used on a website. 5/22/2011 10:54:41 PM |
Joie begonias is my boo 22491 Posts user info edit post |
bwahahahhahahahaha...yeah thats me
it is an istock image that thing is freaking everywhere.
they totally edited it though.
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:07 PM. Reason : sddf] 5/22/2011 11:05:44 PM |
AndyMac All American 31922 Posts user info edit post |
So do you get royalties for that?
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:08 PM. Reason : ] 5/22/2011 11:06:22 PM |
Joie begonias is my boo 22491 Posts user info edit post |
nah, i got a flat fee when it was taken. 5/22/2011 11:07:18 PM |
AndyMac All American 31922 Posts user info edit post |
And a more important question, how do you feel about your pic being used in an article about slutty junkies that don't bathe
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:08 PM. Reason : ] 5/22/2011 11:08:17 PM |
Joie begonias is my boo 22491 Posts user info edit post |
haha...that picture in particular has been used for that use (and similar) for a very long while (it was taken circa 2007).....
in all honesty, we were going for that look and i am really proud i was able to pull it off that well.....
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:10 PM. Reason : sp] 5/22/2011 11:10:46 PM |
ShawnaC123 2019 Egg Champ 46681 Posts user info edit post |
Can I see the original photo? 5/22/2011 11:18:31 PM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
Haha, Joie is e-famous (again/still), awesome. 5/22/2011 11:28:08 PM |
Joie begonias is my boo 22491 Posts user info edit post |
this is the one i have
which is already b&w
but heres the color one being used
[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:29 PM. Reason : ^ ] 5/22/2011 11:28:12 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
hahahahaha on an addiction website. lols 5/22/2011 11:30:21 PM |
BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
^^ I think I remember the thread on here when that was found. Kind of awesome that it gets used often enough that you've seen it a few times now. 5/22/2011 11:54:26 PM |
wwwebsurfer All American 10217 Posts user info edit post |
Hahahahaha 10/10 for joie 5/23/2011 12:06:31 AM |
PackBacker All American 14415 Posts user info edit post |
Joie, the first step is admitting you have a problem 5/23/2011 12:16:50 AM |
puck_it All American 15446 Posts user info edit post |
This just got added to my topics. 5/23/2011 1:37:47 AM |
BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
I haven't really clicked on any of the in-line links until now... and they're great too. http://christwire.org/2011/05/parents-guide-to-common-teen-internet-sex-slang/ 5/23/2011 2:55:14 AM |
bonerjamz 04 All American 3217 Posts user info edit post |
http://christwire.org/2011/05/steve-o-banned-from-posting-on-facebook-for-being-homogay/
5/23/2011 3:24:54 AM |
BIGcementpon Status Name 11318 Posts user info edit post |
there's a bunch of homogay guys on facebook 5/23/2011 5:01:51 PM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
LOL at Joice 5/23/2011 5:06:29 PM |
iheartkisses All American 3791 Posts user info edit post |
Haha lurv the Joie pic.
Set em up! 5/23/2011 5:27:36 PM |