Yes, I spelled suck wrong. Whatever.

Why would a girl tell me this

Quote :

"The thing is, i'm still involved with someone. It's confusing and i'm trying to figure out some things. It's not good timing. I like you but a lot has changed in a year. And now you hate me."

After spending a weekend with her, going on a few actual dates, etc. We've known each other for years. Led on? Some twisted "polite" way to tell me to fuck off? She didn't make the other guy up, but I was under the impression that it was over a few months ago. Just got used because she was lonely when other guy was being douchey? I mean, if I were the dude I think I'd be pretty god damn upset if she was doing any of that with another guy. Deconstruct my shitty love life, TWW. Seriously confused.

Oh yea, the whole "a lot has changed in a year" bit is because about a year ago she was all but telling me she wanted me. I was just oblivious as fuck at the time and didn't realize it.


[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 6:03 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2014 5:52:40 AM

Sounds like she has been keeping you on the hook as her backup plan. Now that things with him are on the upswing, she's decided to be somewhat honest with you. Don't respond to the "and now you hate me" part. She wants you to say, "No I don't; it's OK," so she can get out of feeling guilty.

1/4/2014 6:15:37 AM

I mean, I DID put her on the spot and told her how I feel. She either had to tell me about the guy or completely lie out of her ass.

I told her I was going to back off. I get the feeling she's never going to speak to me again even though we've known each other for years. ha. Why throw away a years long friendship to use someone as a backup plan?

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 6:19 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2014 6:19:00 AM

I'm sure she'll speak to you again. You did the right thing by telling her how you feel. Backing off is a good idea for now while she gets stuff sorted out. It doesn't sound like she wants to completely count you out. If it's not a backup plan situation, she might need time away from you to realize that she wants more with you.

I have no idea; just my first thoughts.

1/4/2014 6:26:59 AM

I mean, who could possibly resist me?

Bleh, I want to be positive about this, but it's god damn hard. I rarely LIKE a woman. So I'm not exactly used to getting rejected by chicks I care about because it's so rare. lol

Thanks for the opinion, btw.

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 6:33 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2014 6:33:19 AM

I was in this situation with my current wife for about two years before we got serious. It does sound like she is not willing to switch teams and is trying to just string you along for more fun and favors. If you are interested in trying to lock it down, the main thing is to just keep the ball in her court by telling her how you feel and try to avoid switching to ultimatums. I have found that women care more about feelings and such than guys give them credit for, and dishing out ultimatums comes off as insensitive and a lot of women will not respond well to that. But, if I were you I would be throttling down on the high hopes and enthusiasm right now.

The other thing is to ask yourself what you want out of it. Do you want something serious? Actually, this sort of fucked up situation worked out well for my wife and myself because I did not want a serious relationship, and she was not ready to start a whole new serious relationship, so we were in this two year limbo of messing around and being romantic while at the same time realizing that it was fragile and not stable. It actually took a lot of pressure off of us knowing that she was going home to bone her bf, and I could focus on grad school without having to tend to her every fucking need. I also never felt guilty about pursuing some weekend crush and having fun with other girls.

Also, a word of warning to you because it happened to me, I was not the only 'other' guy. There ended up being somebody else in the picture that neither myself nor her bf knew about. Again, it didn't really bother me because I was already aware of the situation, but it was a surprise.

1/4/2014 8:10:42 AM

Yea, no ultimatums. I mean, I still really like the girl. I WANTED something serious, but now? Not so sure. And even if she finally calls it quits with this dude and for some reason actually comes around my way again I'm not sure how I'd react. (i still think she will basically never talk to me again - after she gave me the news she never said anything after my response. I mean, it's not like I asked her questions or anything, but still.). I don't want to be some rebound piece just to keep her from being lonely or in the dumps because the other thing ended. blah.

I wish I could just forget the shit ever happened and/or wish I had realized that she was really into me last year.

1/4/2014 8:44:18 AM

Look, you need to convince her to let you put your dick inside of her. Then, while she's orgasming, tell her that you love her.

It is the only way.

1/4/2014 9:04:36 AM

Whatever the answer, does this even warrant a bunch of thought?

Even if things "work out", what's the prize? She sounds triflin'.

1/4/2014 9:10:32 AM

^this

1/4/2014 9:15:12 AM

^^ touché

1/4/2014 9:20:28 AM

I am going through a very similar situation right now as well. :/

I was under the impression that her last relationship was completely over and then this week I get told that she's still "very confused about her last relationship". I asked "about how it ended or about it's future". to which she responded "both". She then proceeded to call me "a complication".

I usually have my guard way up, but not with her. So that hit me pretty hard.

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 9:32 AM. Reason : K]

1/4/2014 9:26:01 AM

^ Yea...I'm usually incredibly guarded. Definitely had it down for her. Known her for years and years. Is one of the nicest people I've ever met. The last thing I expected out of her is this shit. I mean, I understand the getting over a relationship difficulty and all, but leading someone on while you're supposedly trying to work things out with someone else? WTF

And I remember back in the day listening to her talk about how guys always wind up treating her like shit I'm getting more and more pissed off the longer I think about it.

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 9:47 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2014 9:44:56 AM

Both ladies seem to be trying things out with new guys and are finding out that either (a) don't like new guy as much as old guy or (b) they really do have some unresolved issues with old guy.

Correct reaction to either scenario is to say, "peace, call me if you figure things out."

1/4/2014 9:46:40 AM

Quote :

"Some twisted "polite" way to tell me to fuck off?"

That's my guess. The guy is probably just a convenient excuse.

1/4/2014 9:47:39 AM

^^ They both sound like self centered cunts that have no regard for anyone else but themselves at the moment.

Yep, now I'm officially angry

^ figures

On the plus side, I can use this as an excuse not to go to this fucking wedding today

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 9:56 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2014 9:48:51 AM

Women suck. It has nothing to do with you.

1/4/2014 10:32:53 AM

Quote :

"Women suck. "

The good ones do

1/4/2014 10:39:24 AM

Jazon is some chicks silver medal. Lol

1/4/2014 6:03:12 PM

Quote :

"Correct reaction to either scenario is to say, "peace, call me if you figure things out.""

1/4/2014 6:14:28 PM

I had something like that recently. Fuck trying to figure out whatever bullshit is running through her head and do your own thing. The older I get the less I care

1/4/2014 7:14:58 PM

womens is bitches

1/4/2014 7:24:07 PM

i say just move on....relationships shouldn't require that much analyzing or whatever...if two mature adults like each other it should be easy (my opinion) and it sounds like she is playing games or just doesn't have the balls to tell you she isn't interested in you. if a guy said something like that to me it would be a major turn off and i wouldn't even be interested anymore, because at some point i just got over the whole relationship chasing game and realized that things just shouldn't be that dang complicated.

when you meet someone worth putting effort into it will all make sense

edit: just saw the "and now you hate me" line LOL. BITCHES BE CRAZY

[Edited on January 4, 2014 at 8:16 PM. Reason : ^]

1/4/2014 8:15:07 PM

Just your standard tale of a girl that doesn't know what she wants.

Typically if the previous relationship didn't end on horrible terms like someone cheating, the relationship getting real ugly or violent, then it's really easy for a girl to be wishy washy about someone new, especially if the previous relationship lasted a good while.

The worst part is when things end amicably, every little Facebook comment, every little "hi, just thinking about you", gets them going into those scenarios where you start wondering if the terms and conditions have changed that would make another try give a different result. Worst part is that both sides will do it and they will self sabotage future relationships in the process.

1/4/2014 8:32:14 PM

LuckezCharm nailed it

1/4/2014 8:35:53 PM

LuckezCharm is everything special to me

Luckez is to me what slappy is to you

and you know how totally special that is

1/4/2014 8:38:52 PM

Talk all day

4 hour radio silence. Meaning she was with ex bf


"Hey. Had a rough day, long story. I'll be ok though."

Hour later. "I wish I could see you tonight".

Of course you do. Because plan A went to shit. Jesus Christ, women

1/4/2014 9:38:38 PM

Sorry you guys are having trouble. Women can be so fickle. Fortunately, my new girl loves football and hates condoms, so I'm on cloud 9.

1/4/2014 10:10:21 PM

Quote :

""Correct reaction to either scenario is to say, "peace, call me if you figure things out.""

1/4/2014 10:25:36 PM

you are her "dick in a jar" and the correct thing for you to do is say "peace out, holla back when you aren't fuckin crazy."

1/4/2014 10:47:49 PM

Jeepin, you need to cut bait. That other guy is in your girl's pussy like

1/4/2014 10:48:39 PM

just put a ring her on her finger dawg. all women fall for that trick

1/4/2014 11:03:00 PM

jazon you enjoy the phrase "i mean"

1/4/2014 11:32:16 PM

truth. Done.

1/5/2014 12:08:14 AM

I such with women too

someone love me

1/5/2014 12:58:44 AM

Yeah. You were plan B. While you were waiting around for her to make up her mind, plan A made the move to lock that shit down. You were watching the games from the sidelines while plan A was throwing touchdowns.

1/5/2014 11:02:39 AM

1/5/2014 11:06:43 AM

^ stupid woman

1/5/2014 11:12:56 AM

You don't suck with women

And moreover, women as a large and diverse group don't suck

But fuck this two-timing bitch

[Edited on January 5, 2014 at 2:39 PM. Reason : LuckezCharm is right]

1/5/2014 2:38:39 PM

Quote :

"On the plus side, I can use this as an excuse not to go to this fucking wedding today"

So you find out the girl you were trying to date isn't worth dating, then use that as an excuse not to go to an event where you could potentially meet someone who's actually worth your time, simultaneously costing the couple a decent chunk of money to cover the food and other expenses they are paying for on your behalf because you told them you would be there. Good call there.

1/5/2014 2:50:24 PM

that's what i'm saying!

looking at catering menus has basically become my full-time hobby lately, and while costs haven't been outrageous, i can tell you that i will be having conversations with people who decide to not show up at the last minute without a decent excuse.

but i digress.

1/5/2014 2:58:58 PM

It was a hick wedding

No sort of food/alcohol.

I had no incentive to ever go in the first place.

1/5/2014 4:24:05 PM

Sounds like she isn't attracted to to you.

1/5/2014 5:36:31 PM

lock this shit up before i start feeling even more sorry for myself

1/5/2014 11:13:49 PM

get out there and find yourself a new woman

1/5/2014 11:15:00 PM

Quote :

" It was a hick wedding No sort of food/alcohol."

That is hands down the most troublesome thing in this thread

1/6/2014 1:34:37 AM

It's just a thing you do in the South, especially if you don't have much money.

You get married and then everyone goes in the basement for cake and lemonade.

Guests are more than welcome to drink beer round back.

1/6/2014 3:38:24 AM

^ I mean, it wasn't a straight up hillbilly affair, but there was no incentive for anyone to go other than to be polite. I don't understand the point of sending out RSVP shit for these things if there's no need to plan for # of guests. Only reason I got an invite in the first place is because I work with the bride. My boss texted me later and said "yep, you were right."

Someone hook me up with some good drugs so I'll forget about this girl.

1/6/2014 4:34:10 AM

you such with women

and lack basic coping skills so you such at life

1/6/2014 4:36:17 AM

yep

[Edited on January 6, 2014 at 4:54 AM. Reason : ]

1/6/2014 4:42:39 AM