Quote :

"That's what happens when you install an app and don't look at permissions. "

you can definitely attest to my technological retardedness

2/6/2012 4:51:01 PM

Quote :

"you can definitely attest to my technological retardedness "

2/6/2012 4:52:15 PM

fair enough

[Edited on February 6, 2012 at 4:53 PM. Reason : your shit will be in the yard when you get home]

2/6/2012 4:52:34 PM

well damn. Anyone need a dog sitter?

2/6/2012 4:56:45 PM

let me rethink that last statement

2/6/2012 4:57:36 PM

Would a decent girl have no picture, and have "USED UP" as her body type?

2/6/2012 8:31:51 PM

she's a definite keeper

2/6/2012 8:34:47 PM

Asked her to send me a pic...

this is what I got.





GG TWW

2/6/2012 9:05:37 PM

man...that girl is young...

you better make sure she's not lying about her age

2/6/2012 9:19:08 PM

lol

2/6/2012 9:40:59 PM

I think I'm done with okcupid. Just a lot of chicks ranging from fugly to meh. I think in total I've seen maybe 2 or 3 girls with pictures that make me take interest, and then they're generally completely unappealing when I read their profile.

2/6/2012 9:52:48 PM

i can't believe how 'not gray' my hair was in that picture...

life was so simple back then

2/6/2012 9:56:29 PM

I always see a lot of interesting girls on there, but then they never message me back

2/6/2012 11:08:56 PM

i chuckled

2/6/2012 11:30:48 PM

aww staff robot thinks I'd like ddk

2/7/2012 7:31:09 PM

is now a good time to join since it is near valentines day?

2/7/2012 9:43:08 PM

i found DDK for the hell of it on OKC, apparently we're a 76% match

2/7/2012 11:49:04 PM

BTTT for valentine's day!

2/14/2012 11:02:11 AM

drunk messaging, ftw

2/17/2012 1:33:40 AM

haha dont trust the robot. It thinks im in to old fatties

This site is pretty worthless

2/17/2012 8:13:00 AM

Ahhhhh in my pain med haze I forgot I got a new email this week!

Quote :

"Good Afternoon, I just wanted to inform you that your simply breath taking, Very attractive young lady. If your interested i would like to get to know you better."

Is it bad that I wanted to be all like "MY BREATH IS TAKING WHAT?!?!?!"


^Well it keeps sending me matches for folks that are the exact opposite of what I told the site I'm attracted to.

[Edited on February 17, 2012 at 8:40 AM. Reason : e]

2/17/2012 8:38:31 AM

STOP BEING SO PICKY.

2/17/2012 8:51:52 AM

sure thing uther

sure thing

2/17/2012 9:00:03 AM

http://www.reddit.com/r/DateRape/comments/bfs7u/how_you_meet_women_on_okcupid/
http://www.reddit.com/r/DateRape/comments/dlunz/how_to_meet_women_on_okcupid_2/
http://www.reddit.com/r/DateRape/comments/enasr/how_to_meet_women_on_okcupid_3/

2/17/2012 9:24:48 AM

FWIW, I had pretty good luck on Plenty of Fish. I can't speak to how the site is now (IIRC they had some account hacking, but I deleted my profile before that), but I have been with my lady for almost 2 years now...

2/17/2012 9:27:04 AM

hahahahaha this stuff needs to be reposted

Quote :

"GIRL WHO SAID SHE'S BEEN IN A BILLION RELATIONSHIP: Me - you really been in a billion relationships? we can still meet but i'll need to double-bag it Her - Relationshits are different from fucking. Plus I wouldn't fuck you anyhow, not a fan of AIDS. In conclusion, kill yourself. Me - i aint got aids unless thats what makes my weiner itch. now you got me paranoid. we can still make out tho Her - Not if i don't want to get herpes. Which I don't. Me - you sure know a lot about std's girl. maybe i'll triple-bag it. i just hope you at least somewhat tight or i wont feel shit. when you wanna meet? Her - Let's see. Half past never. Enjoy your hand. Me - just cuz you aint gettin any cuz yo swamp-vadge has bugs dont mean that i aint gettin any. i just wanted to share my love with you too cuz you seem like a sweet girl, yo. my place or yours? "

2/17/2012 12:52:47 PM

^^^oh my god. that is hilarious. the ridiculous part is it almost works half the time.

2/17/2012 1:57:27 PM

Quote :

"c-section or vaj-apocalypse"

lulz

2/17/2012 2:18:13 PM

Quote :

"Me: yo girl i like yo tinkerbell tat. howd you like my peter in your pan? hit me back cutie Her: aww thanks Me: your welcum. when we gonna go have some crazy hot p-in-the-v girl? Her: wow i was trying to be nices but you forreal need to learn how to talk to a female Me: how? use small words and talk about recipes? i is what i is, baby girl. whatchu wearin?"

2/17/2012 2:32:05 PM

haha well there goes my productivity for the day

Quote :

"Me - yo baby girl. okcupid said you aint been contacted in a week. is there something wrong with you or is the guys here too stupid to see what i see: a cute girl with a beautiful smile that i'd like to stuff like a thanksgiving turkey. hit me back cutie! Her - No thanks. Me - so you're saying there's a chance?"

2/17/2012 2:40:09 PM

ahahahaha

2/17/2012 2:42:26 PM

Quote :

"GIRL WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE SPACE BARS TO SEPARATE SENTENCES: Me: yo girl r u really 18.6 months pregnant? let that thing out already. and then let me in there... Her: youre a douchebag. Me: thats just hormoans talkin. how bout we make out some and work this out?"

2/17/2012 2:46:00 PM

Quote :

"Me: german huh? so you like worship hitler or whatever? thats cool girl as long as we can make out. hit me back Her: lol youre silly no i dont worship hitler he is my absolute least favorite person. umm... what are you up to? sorry i didn't reply sooner. didn't have a computer to get on with =( Me: im up to about 8 inches. you know what im talkin about girl ;-) how you say wienerschnitzel. when we gonna meet up sexy thang?"

Quote :

"Me: yoyo girl you said not to message if all i wanted was casual sex. so im messaging you for some serious, deliberate, premeditated sex. hit me back Her: You so funny Me: yeah baby girl im a regular loony tune. howd you like some elmer in your fudd? Her: I'd love it and I've always wanted someone to ask me that exact question Me: yeah girl i'mma pepe your pew. when you gonna let me hit that"

2/17/2012 2:50:33 PM

girls on the internet are flaky

2/18/2012 3:17:19 AM

I've been on match lately, emailing older women. I don't know why I have such an infatuation with having relations with an older woman, haha.

2/19/2012 9:41:01 AM

I tried to bait a few cougars and failed

2/19/2012 2:38:09 PM

did begonias ever make that fake profile?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message

2/19/2012 2:40:06 PM

Older women kick ass.

2/19/2012 2:41:25 PM

Well thanks to that reddit post. I'm going to make one of these profiles lol. Maxium trolling

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

2/19/2012 3:07:28 PM

reddit is tl;dr

2/19/2012 3:09:24 PM

Quote :

"Me: german huh? so you like worship hitler or whatever? thats cool girl as long as we can make out. hit me back Her: lol youre silly no i dont worship hitler he is my absolute least favorite person. umm... what are you up to? sorry i didn't reply sooner. didn't have a computer to get on with =( Me: im up to about 8 inches. you know what im talkin about girl ;-) how you say wienerschnitzel. when we gonna meet up sexy thang?"

Quote :

"Okay, so she admits that Hitler is one of her favorite people."

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

2/19/2012 3:31:30 PM

ahahaha

2/19/2012 3:36:11 PM

Quote :

"GIRL WHO WAS A ZOMBIE FOR HALLOWEEN: Me - one question, girl. what's all that shit on your face in your pic? you still a cutie. let's meet Her - hahaha. it's mainly blush, lipstick, smeared eyeliner...zombie makeup! ya know? i'm scary ;P Me - so you a zombie? aint that perfect, girl. cuz i be a necrophiliac! Her - aaaahahaha! creepy! but appropriately funny. lol Me - Hell yeah, baby girl. I'll make you scream BRAINS!"

2/19/2012 3:38:16 PM

Quote :

"Me: you n yo husband lookin for a 3ird eh? you 2 look like you met at an icp concert. maybe i can fit you into a 1 on 1 session tho, yo man aint gotta know. hit me back cutie Her: Wow you have got to be the dumbest one yet you read the profile and you still dont get it good luck i think you are going to need it Me: girl i got it all. looks, smrts, AND a big ol fat one. dont judge a book by its contents or youll miss out. when you wanna meet up?"

I'm Krallum and I approved this mesage.

2/19/2012 4:00:53 PM

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

[Edited on February 19, 2012 at 8:55 PM. Reason : lololololololol]

2/19/2012 8:54:32 PM

Pretty funny article:
http://www.thesefriesaregood.com/articles/we-sent-one-man-out-to-try-every-dating-site-on-the-web/

Quote :

"OKCupid si the dating version of the Voice"

2/29/2012 2:32:38 PM

my attractive roomie that's on okcupid, that i mentioned a few pages back?

she's done. she was dating a guy she met on there for about a month or two...finally realized what a huge loser he is, and dumped him. now he's moping, texting the shit out of her, blowing up twitter about how depressed he is, and actually came by the house looking for her the other day.

needless to say, the pool of women on that site just got smaller.

2/29/2012 3:25:18 PM

dang son, you should pm pics so I can get all white knight

2/29/2012 3:59:16 PM

better yet, get her to create an account on here.

2/29/2012 4:03:23 PM

Girls don't live with guys unless they are boning them...

2/29/2012 5:02:49 PM