9

9/6/2007 2:57:29 AM

Apparently I have major anxiety problems that I (until now) have refused to admit to.

Anyone that knows me, knows I am the most easy going, stress-free person that ever lived. Now people SAY that, but I live the dream most of the time. This really hit home when I went to my friend's wedding shower on Monday.

I walk in (late) and as he introduces me to his family and her family, every person is like "oh YOU are the guy from California", proceeding to look at me in amazement that I'm still alive and kicking. Now to me, that summer was pretty normal, lots of fun. Then the grandmother opens my eyes:

"Jared told me you got hit by a car, had poisen ivy covering your whole arm, lost all your money and had to sleep in your car, went 4 wheeling in a rental Thunderbird thanks to the gloriousness of GPS and you had to poop in a parking garage, wiping your butt with brochures".

I just looked at her and realized, man that was a fucking insane summer. Like at multiple points I should have either gone to the hospital or just broken down crying. But I never even thought about it.

9/6/2007 3:46:10 AM

This one time I had to get from Santa Barbara to San Francisco.

I knew I didn't have anywhere near enough gas, or money to make it.

Drove as far as I could and pulled into some shithole town, found a gas station and started to comb my car for change. I think I eventually got up like 6 bucks worth, enough to get my two gallons of gas in California, needing at LEAST 5 gallons to get to San Fran.

The dude working there watched me during the whole ordeal and when I walked in, he took pity on me and gave me ten bucks out of his own pocket and gave me a beer. Probably the single greatest act of kindness I've ever recieved from a stranger.

The confession is, it was all an act, I put on the whole production praying the attendant would do exactly that. And it worked, but I still ran out of gas before I got there.

9/6/2007 3:50:09 AM

^ LOL.

Whenever I'd bring a boyfriend home from school, my sister would always flirt with him. So one time I decided to flirt with one of hers. Only it wasn't her boyfriend, it was the sleazy middle-aged guy that she was flirting with on the side at the pool table. She and her bf used to hang out there and he'd do his thing, which she would sort of respond to and then turn to ice (that was her secret, it drove everyone nuts).

One time she invited me along as part of her usual scheme to make me feel like shit at a game. After an hour of whooping my ass at pool and my sulking along (16 years old, still the puppy-like little sister trying to fit in with the older sister at this point), the man comes along and asks for a game. She lets him team up with me, and he starts his combative flirt with her. Only after she turns to ice, I turn on the steam. By the end of the game he and I are making out in the corner and she is furious!

That was the first and last time I ever did anything like that, and it was insane fun.

9/6/2007 3:58:00 AM

I imagine people on the internet look much better than they actually do. Even after I've met them.

For instance: ambrosiaNumbers

I've met her multiple times. Yet, everytime I see a picture of her I always think "dear god, she looks way worse than I remember".

The same phenomenon has happened with ex-girlfriends and friends. People I associate with online somehow always get more attractive over time.

The really fucked up part of this is that internet girls I haven't ever met are always either drastically hotter than, or uglier than I imagined. Rarely hotter, almost always uglier. So many times when I've met tdub girls IRL, I've thought "dear god what happened to you".

9/6/2007 4:01:33 AM

It's all so clear to me now.

9/6/2007 4:01:34 AM

I am really good in bed. I'm a really good kisser, I love foreplay, I can go for hours and I'm properly endowed. Actually the longevity thing has been a detriment at times.

Every guy says this of course. I always thought I was just adequate, nothing special. But, especially with kissing, apparently I've built a sort of reputation. To the point that now a couple of people have mentioned it to me in conversation. The sex part on the other hand has more to do with later confirmation, rather than numbers, because I'm a pretty prudish person (which will be addressed in my next confession).

I've had sex with 3 girls. All three confirmed later on that I was really good in bed, in comparison to their later experiences. Two of the three I hooked up with again long after the relationship was over, just because they hadn't had a good lay in so long.

I've given oral or manual to 6 girls. It's damn near as much fun as sex. And other than thanking me for the services, they were all pretty astonished afterward (particularly the first time for each). Apparently most guys fumble through this step of foreplay to the point of awkward misery for women. So having not only a positive experience with it, but getting off and not being cock-jabbed afterward is apparently a pretty big shock.

9/6/2007 4:17:33 AM

Prudishness: I let my morals sway me away from sex WAY too much. I haven't actually put my penis in a girl in a year and half.

In the past year, I've knowingly passed on the opportunity to have sex with at least a half dozen very attractive girls. Girls I had in my bed, naked, ready to jump on. Well over a dozen girls I could have brought home and had my way with, but decided not to.

This ranges from friends I actively want to plow, to girls I just find attractive, to girls I was actually dating.

I just can't seal the deal in my head. All I can see is the next day when all kinds of shit has changed because we just had crazy monkey sex. All the shit I don't want to deal with. All the ceremony and acting I would have to go through to get there again.

It's gotten to the point that I've begun lurking the casual encounters of Craigslist, not because I can't get laid, but because I can't make myself have sex with anyone I actually know. I really need to find an almost complete stranger that I can have unemotional sex with.

On that note, there are several dozen girls on this site I would go to town on, no questions asked. I've always secretly wanted to have a tdub hookup, but my refusal to e-game has left that desire unfulfilled

9/6/2007 4:29:47 AM

i play with tape....

9/6/2007 11:06:43 AM

I'm hungry



there's my confession

9/6/2007 11:19:27 AM

hahaha wtf is the shit on this page

9/6/2007 2:01:34 PM

another confession

whenever I feel like my life might suck, or that I have issues I'm tripping over that I shouldn't worry about

I come to tww


it always makes me feel better about myself

9/6/2007 2:08:38 PM

All I know is i'm going to meet Neon in about a month in Costa Rica and I already know so much about him.

I'll wonder if I'm the ugly one or better than her pic one.

9/6/2007 2:09:17 PM

I hear the train a comin

It's rollin round the bend

9/6/2007 2:10:24 PM

^^ha I didn't even think about that. time will tell, but I'm going to be at my most hammered state since high school, so don't be upset if I'm incapable of even acknowledging your existence.

I'm seriously going to be fall-down drunk by the time I get off the plane, so that I can drunk-drive the rental car to the resort and then puke all over my room upon arrival, clearing the way for more alcohol in the afternoon. Glorious doesn't even convey how amazing it will be.

9/6/2007 2:13:39 PM

Noen gets a lifetime confession ban for confessing that he's good in bed. WTF is that shit?

9/6/2007 2:22:29 PM

haha I confess that I was thinking the same thing.

9/6/2007 2:24:03 PM

I'm still a virgin.

9/6/2007 2:34:53 PM

lol... no kidding. All I read on Noen's post was

"Alright guys, you got me. I confess. I am a sex God"

I suppose it's good that he doesn't have low self esteem.

9/6/2007 2:39:01 PM

I'm gonna talk about how good I am at laying the pipe


I'll totally score

9/6/2007 2:40:21 PM

many times recently i've been lonely to the point of tears

9/6/2007 2:41:38 PM

When I was in the psych ward one of the times, I got put in the "quiet room" ( ) with regularity. So much so that I could identify all the nurses, staff, and patients by their shoes (patients) and staff (their gait).

My main method for dealing with shit is running away. I've gotten better, but when I'm steaming mad, my preferred method for handling that is driving. And I always drive to one of three places.

What makes me happiest is caring for other people. If I weren't so far along in my current studies, I'd leave and go to nursing school. I'll just volunteer as an EMT wherever I end up, instead.

I'm quite literally happier than I ever thought was possible. And have been for some time. Now that I know it's not fleeting, and my mental health is stable, I've begun making a concerted effort to taking care of my body and erasing the horrible habits I have. And I'm appalled at the rut I'd fallen into, in that regard.

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 2:48 PM. Reason : lkjd]

9/6/2007 2:45:15 PM

I think: Hank Williams Sr. "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" or Johnny Cash's "I See A Darkness" when I hear that. ^^

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 2:50 PM. Reason : damn you Christine! ]

9/6/2007 2:45:44 PM

It's cool. Ryan and I will be pretty drunk too. Just worried I might say something inappropriate to his family. They think I'm an innocent little angel.

I confess that all I want in this world are a few good friends who are always there for ya and would do anything for you. Why's that so hard to find?

9/6/2007 2:48:02 PM

I've been watching E! tv for over an hour, some show about celebrities losing weight. it is by far the dumbest thing i've watched in quite some time, yet i'm addicted.

9/6/2007 2:48:30 PM

damn you, rob

not only are you short, you're slow

9/6/2007 2:51:25 PM

not in some places.

30 seconds . . . tops

9/6/2007 3:14:20 PM

I want to be drop dead gorgeous, or hot, for one day. just to see how far I can go professionally, personally, emotionally.

I also want to be disgustingly rich too, but for a lot longer than a day. I don't want to worry about bills and be able to splurge all the fucking time. I never play the lottery though...

9/6/2007 3:16:59 PM

And now I must confess, I could use some rest
I cant run at this pace very long
Yes its quite insane, I think it hurts my brain
But it cleans me out and then I can go on

9/6/2007 4:31:57 PM

Quote :

"Noen gets a lifetime confession ban for confessing that he's good in bed. WTF is that shit?"

Sorry that wasn't really the point, I was a bit delirious having woken up at 4am.

The confession part of that was:

Now every time I hear a girl, especially friends who talk about how bad someone was, or how they haven't had good/any sex, I think about how guys could possibly be that bad, followed by the immediate thought that I would show them something better, even if I'm not attracted to them at all. Same thing for everyone in here talking about their lack of sex, including my own. Knowing you are decent at it, it's a shame that your junk stays all wrapped up.

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 4:46 PM. Reason : .]

9/6/2007 4:45:57 PM

lol

9/6/2007 4:49:03 PM

Another confession:

Almost every girl I've seriously dated was in a relationship when I met them, and broke up with their boyfriends to go out with me instead. I find girls who already have a guy much more attractive than single women, everything else being equal.

I haven't however, ever knowingly cheated with a girl who was seeing someone else.

9/6/2007 4:51:42 PM

Good is a relative term to your partner, just cause you were good with some doesnt mean you are particularily good all around.

9/6/2007 4:53:41 PM

^That is very true. My partners have had FAR more sexual experience (numbers wise at least) than I have, so I have to take their word for it. Luckily I got em early

9/6/2007 4:56:01 PM

I should feel bad

but here's a pic of the ex I found on a porno lol

she's the brunette on the right

9/6/2007 5:04:46 PM

i'd watch her get bwned.

9/6/2007 5:08:08 PM

^^Damn greg, I approve

9/6/2007 5:10:20 PM

yeah, I broke up with her after 3 1/2 years lol

she's a cool girl though

her house and car got destroyed during katrina

yeah, I'll probably hang out with her, but I'm gonna have to bring up the porn thing

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:15 PM. Reason : must be my charming personality... lol]

9/6/2007 5:13:33 PM

SHE WAS IN A PORNO (link please no no no....i'm kidding greg....but yeah i'd probably watch it)

on another note...i don't really give a shit what past sexual partners think about me in bed. my current girl says i'm the best sex of her life and i aim to keep it that way. the cool thing is that the feeling is mutual so i'm very content at the moment.

9/6/2007 5:18:48 PM

haha it was capt stabbin,back in the day like 02 or 03 she was getting railed on some yacht in what looked like Miami

we learned a lot back in the day


hahaha

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:24 PM. Reason : my first serious gf too haha]

9/6/2007 5:23:14 PM

that's HOT!!

9/6/2007 5:24:12 PM

haha yeah, I watched the video when I saw her lol


she's supposed be bringing me her chocolate lab too!

9/6/2007 5:25:45 PM

Is that all she's bringing?

9/6/2007 5:26:20 PM

haha, no

not according to her

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:28 PM. Reason : it would be interesting, since I haven't done anything with her since I was 19 and she was my first]

9/6/2007 5:27:14 PM

The last girl I dated was a bit unhinged so I knew that if I broke up with her she would be hysterical. I ended up being a prick to her and going out with the guys all the time instead of her. Eventually she broke up with me to show me that she was serious and needed more attention. I just said "okay, we're done if thats what you want." She quickly started hounding me to get back with her and I would always tell her that she'd already broken my heart, i couldn't put myself through that again, etc. (total BS)

Then today (6 months later) I got a rambling email about how I'm the one for her blah blah blah.

I only ended up in a relationship with her because she was really great in bed. Then she got fat. I found out that she was recovering from an eating disorder when we first met and thats the only reason that she had a great figure.

^ Ha, I've always wanted to go back and re-bone all the girls that I slept with before I was 19 or so,, just to show them that I don't suck anymore. Nor do I cry during coitus.

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:37 PM. Reason : .]

9/6/2007 5:35:42 PM

damn yo, thats cold!



haha yeah, I mean, there's only a few from the past that I'd still hook up with today

but I think it would be neat since neither of us had a clue when we were 16, but started to figure it out over the next 3 years lol

I'm pretty sure I'm better and apparently she's had some extra practice

9/6/2007 5:39:22 PM

lol. maybe you can stick it in her pooper.

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:42 PM. Reason : ]

9/6/2007 5:42:19 PM

Tell her that you want to take her out on the boat with some of your friends.

9/6/2007 5:42:36 PM

^^

^ hahaha, yeah, cause she'd believe it too, she called me when I was at Hatteras and was like, "I'm so jealous, I wish I was out there", I was drunk and just started laughing

[Edited on September 6, 2007 at 5:45 PM. Reason : .]

9/6/2007 5:44:46 PM

set em up

9/6/2007 5:46:25 PM