Quote :

"Creepy is this 30 year old guy dating some 18 year old girl that I know "

i agree with that--sorta...this older dude "dated" a friend of mine who was in his 30s...but honestly mine and my friend's "creepy" factor with that situation more had to do with we didn't like him as a person than him being in his 30s

she's seen a few guys since then that are also in their 30s and that doesn't creep me out--she also prefers older men...when she told me she had a crush on a guy our age i checked to make sure she was feeling ok

another friend of mine also prefers dating older men

but it's not about age...it's maturity...cause the first guy (creepy guy) who was in his 30s is most definitely not mature

12/2/2005 12:02:22 PM

How do women define mature? I know that seems like a stupid question, but I would really like to know.

12/2/2005 12:43:08 PM

I was thinking the opposite, like when you graduate from college you can meet more people....I mean you work and you meet people who know what they want in life and they have had some past experience as well....so they are pretty much well-rounded.
In college people are still undetermined and they just want to have fun....they won't be serious about the relationship.....so how is it that we don't meet people out of college.....I think you would meet people anyhow, unless you sit home all day. I WonDeRRRRRRR....

12/2/2005 2:57:45 PM

^as stated, i live in a small town

no night life
very little social/civic clubs

and very few people return home after college

so its not that there aren't many young people

its just that there aren't many young people worth meeting

call me an elitist, but i think it would be fucking wierd to seriously date a girl who had never been to college...

12/2/2005 3:06:51 PM

Quote :

" was thinking the opposite, like when you graduate from college you can meet more people...."

if you're at state right now

you're surrounded by at least 25,000 people who you have a common bond with
not to mention the high retention rate raleigh/triangle has for state graduate
not to mention the 6 other colleges within 20 miles of state

12/2/2005 3:13:07 PM

yeah but out of this "25,000" that you say....how many do you actually talk to everyday.....10-20,or 20-30....and then how many do you end up dating ( not just a one time date, at least 3 or 4 times)......in college we are surrounded by many people, true, but it doesn't mean that you end up meeting the love of your life....i think there are better chances outside of college....but maybe i am saying this because i have not been swept off my feet! i hope i don't get disapointed when i get out of college.

12/2/2005 4:16:49 PM

don't worry, you will be

12/2/2005 4:18:18 PM

^depends on where you live and if you meet people easily. when i moved, initially i had a tough time finding someone who matched what i wanted mainly because i didn't knw the town well enough and didn't want to go out alone. but my friend who moved down here at approximately the same time (we never knew each other before we moved) had no problems at all, hell, she meets 3-4 guys who are interested in her per week. she is just a really outgoing and approachable person. plus, she lives in an area of town with a lot going on.

and no, woodfoot, i don't think you are elitist at all. you should have seen my profile on match (yes, i met my husband on match.com). i was extremely picky. but i had no desire to date people who didn't have common interests and beliefs and waste both of our time... easily understandable why you'd want someone who had similar interests and education level

[Edited on December 2, 2005 at 4:26 PM. Reason : er]

12/2/2005 4:23:37 PM

^^as depressing as that sounds, he's kinda right...

in college its like the goal is to meet people, so everyone is more open to it

Quote :

"she lives in an area of town with a lot going on."

i'd say that has a lot more to do with it than her personality, to be honest

[Edited on December 2, 2005 at 4:25 PM. Reason : but thats just my theory]

12/2/2005 4:24:17 PM

k, the real world SUCKS, its horrible, you see the same overweight people day in day out... of course I speak for the engineering field if your in business or marketing then you get to see attractive people who are going to cheat left and right b/c they have opportunity...

but in hte real world I see the SAME 100 PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, and IF there happens to be an attractive representative for a company you can be damn sure she's been hit on by more men than you could imagine...

of course your a "qute" female, so it would be your choice

12/2/2005 4:27:09 PM

^^we originally lived in the same apt complex... so i do think it was her personality. later, after i married, i moved to another area and then she moved to the area she is in now. i'd say moving to that area is just complimenting her personality in terms of meeting people.

[Edited on December 2, 2005 at 4:28 PM. Reason : and see edit in above post, woodfoot]

12/2/2005 4:27:49 PM

Quote :

"easily understandable why you'd want someone who had similar interests and education level"

i mean, its not even the interests i'm worried about, its the fact that i need someone i can have a conversation with...

oh well, just have to wait a couple more years and buy a trophy wife

Quote :

"but in hte real world I see the SAME 100 PEOPLE ALL THE TIME"

ha, exactly
thats why when someone of interest does pop up, you gotta take that shit however you can

12/2/2005 4:37:32 PM

"gotta take the shit however you can....." that's f....kin hillarious!!! but TRUE i must say..

12/2/2005 4:43:25 PM

i said it a little nicer this way:

Quote :

"thats the key to adult dating, finding opportunities and matching them to a partner rather than the opposite..."

in college, something is always going on, so you just find a person and an opportunity will arise
as an adult, you have to find something that will be worth asking someone to

i'm not gonna ask a 28 year old if she wants to go to dinner and a movie for a first date

thats high school

12/2/2005 4:47:49 PM

Quote :

"i mean, its not even the interests i'm worried about, its the fact that i need someone i can have a conversation with..."

totally agree.

sampler of my profile: non smoker (since i don't smoke and am allergic), only social drinker (didn't want a drunk), bs in education as a minimum (and i really only would date people with bs's in engineering/science or masters as i wanted to be able to have conversations about things that interested me... an art major probably wouldn't have worked), had to meet an income level (dated a few that i made more than and their egos couldn't handle it... so i set the income requirement about at what i made... it sounds awful but dealing with someone's insecurities was worse to me), similar religion (since i am protestant, a muslim, jew, or athiest wouldn't have worked well), politics (yes, i was picky there... i didn't want to deal with a raving liberal nor a bible thumping conservative)... just to name a few...

12/2/2005 4:57:22 PM

^^hahahaahaha


"LETS DO LUNCH, K"

[Edited on December 2, 2005 at 4:59 PM. Reason : vertical chevrons]

12/2/2005 4:59:15 PM

what about a Bible thumping liberal?

yeah, i've tooled around on match dot com (never paid) and was basically the same as that
but i said "Some college" because the sample is MUCH lower for women on dating sites


seriously, women can have a date every night if they're not too picky thanks to dating sites

the ratio just works in their favor...

i've never been that big on using a website like match

i feel my strengths aren't exactly presented when looking at a thumbnail or a personal snapshot...and i kinda feel bad about using that kind of judgement on the women...

12/2/2005 5:01:29 PM

agree but i have to say it worked well for me. i met several good matches before my husband. i was new to the area, i didn't know the hots spots, i felt weird going out alone, i didn't want to meet people at bars or at the gym... so the internet was a logical choice. it was a bit weird at first but honestly it was pretty fun.

12/2/2005 5:17:23 PM

so did you meet your husband on match?

12/2/2005 5:33:36 PM

^

Quote :

"you should have seen my profile on match (yes, i met my husband on match.com)."

it's maybe 12 posts up

12/2/2005 5:39:58 PM

sorry i didn't catch it........its the LAST day of classes ya knohttp://www.....

12/2/2005 6:45:18 PM

Quote :

"Why can't the woman pay for her own dinner? She's got money, so why should I spend mine?"

My initial post was somewhat a joke! But I am/have been really spoiled by my boyfriend of over 2 1/2 years. He almost always pays for my dinner, but lately we kinda split it up sometimes.
He's the best, what can I say!

12/3/2005 1:12:44 AM

My girlfriend called me a pedophile... I said that's a pretty big word for an eight year old.

12/3/2005 7:27:22 PM

I dated a 23 year old this year, she had to buy my beer

12/3/2005 9:35:50 PM

well i think, if the guy asked the girl out on a date, (like their first date), i think the guy should pay....bcz that's what a gentleman does.....i mean i am sure the girl can pay or they could go dutch....but if he wants to be a nice gentleman, he should pay.......and then the next time (if there is a next time) the girl should pay or they could split it up. I think if you go dutch on the first date it just seems like you are out with your buddy and it does not seem like a date.

12/3/2005 9:50:07 PM

i hate when girls offer to pay

i always have this inner debate on whether shes bluffing or not

12/3/2005 11:12:39 PM

Honestly, that depends on her maturity level.
When I first started dating my bf forever ago, I was less mature and it was a bluff then, but now, its not. If I offer now, its for real. I've matured a lot since then

12/3/2005 11:22:22 PM

i was actually thinking you were gonna say you matured to the point where you don't worry about paying...

woodfoot = old fashioned to the max

12/3/2005 11:27:10 PM

But you see, if i were older than the guy, even on the first date, to make someone younger than you pay for two people, just seems like a horrible thing to do........i am thinking the girl should pay if she is older.......especially on the first date......for later dates they can both pitch in......BUT SERIOUSLY, whoever is older should not make the younger pay......it just does not seem right.

12/4/2005 12:41:49 AM

if we're talking post college here, age doesn't always equate to financial success. i think normal dating behaviors are expected, but if it gets to the point where larger things are coming into play (trips for example), a discussion of incomes should come in play to some degree.

12/4/2005 11:18:37 AM