Anyone done one of these?

(Omar sorry if it's old, if it is, just delete it thanks)

12/31/2006 2:07:00 PM

if the two people are some what religious it won't work. unless of course you live in the USA in which fact you do so yes, it could work. But coming from the middle east they can never work unless the other faith converts to Islam.

but

in reality how can you date someone that you think is going to hell?

[Edited on December 31, 2006 at 2:08 PM. Reason : fda]

12/31/2006 2:08:26 PM

sex0r

12/31/2006 2:11:54 PM

I tried to date a Muslim, but he didn't want me to eat pork among other things, and that was a sacrifice I wasn't willing to make... I'm sure around Christmastime there would have been other conflicts but I never stuck around that long...

12/31/2006 2:16:00 PM

To me, that's just asking for trouble.

You two WILL end up butting heads. Sure, while dating you'll both be very "giving," but if you ever get hitched stuff changes real fast.

12/31/2006 2:48:44 PM

It's too lateeeeeeeeee

When we dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

To admit that we don't see eye to eyeeeeeee

12/31/2006 3:06:19 PM

it depends how strongly you two adhere to your faiths, and how much the families care.

12/31/2006 3:19:15 PM

Yes, but it's not been serious to the point of getting married (not quite)
The first relationship I had i went from atheist to pagan, and was dating a christian at the time.
now i'm dating another christian, and i'm still pagan.

Basically I let them know up front what I believe (I was friends with them first though, YMMV), and neither of them saw it as a reason not to date. Whether it'll be a hinderance to the current relationship going far, has yet to be seen. His family, as far as we're concerned, doesnt need to know what I believe. They haven't asked, and I'm not going to go tell them.

The first relationship- there were a couple fights about it but they were more due to serious miscommunication than anything.


All in all I think it can work, but yo'ure going to have to a. put some extra effort into it and b. eventually answer some tough questions between the two of you (if you have kids, what religion are they taught? tec).

If you cant do both of that, it's not a good idea. If each party isn't willing to accept and allow the other person to continue in their own faith, it's not a good idea.

12/31/2006 3:19:41 PM

Exactly how does one jump from atheist to pagan?

12/31/2006 3:25:57 PM

wtf is a pagan. do they worship unicorns?

12/31/2006 3:29:53 PM

by loose definition, i'm guessing worships multiple gods?

like the Romans and Greeks were in ancient times.

12/31/2006 3:35:43 PM

My wife is presbyterian, and I'm Catholic.

She goes to her church, and I go to mine.

Before we got married, she agreed that we'd raise the kids Catholic.

no problems.

12/31/2006 3:45:30 PM

Yo, say hi to Saturn and Uranus for me.

12/31/2006 3:49:09 PM

nah they dance around in pigs blood, but only on fridays.

12/31/2006 4:22:06 PM

I'd think it depends less on the religion, and more on the individuals.

My bf and I also haven't broached this issue. We talked about it very briefly night before last. Maybe a five minute conversation.
While I was raised Baptist, and the 'ye shall not yoke yourself with unequals' message was hammered into my head when I was young...we're both adults now. If this ever becomes an issue, we'll be able to resolve it.

12/31/2006 4:26:55 PM

I am dating a Morman and I am a Methodist and there were problems that arose every now and then but if you are in love then all those porblems can be resolved if you care about the other person. Religion, while important, is not the only thing in life. As long as your principles are similar then you will be fine.

12/31/2006 5:07:59 PM

ALL my relationships have been interfaith.

I haven't had a problem with them yet, but that's because I am more open-minded than most people of my religion.

About to marry a Christian.

12/31/2006 5:14:27 PM

i still don't get how you can be involved with someone that you know will be going to hell or whatever your religions version of hell is.

12/31/2006 5:22:35 PM

Quote :

"if you are in love then all those porblems can be resolved if you care about the other person."

don't kid yourself on that one. Love and caring about the other person don't even come close to resolving issues of any kind in a relationship. Reality and emotion are two different (and often totally mutually exclusive) things.

12/31/2006 5:22:49 PM

While I agree with you there but it does play a big part in sticking around and making it work.

12/31/2006 5:44:57 PM

The ancient Greeks had water to wine, resurrection, and immaculate conception and lots of other common place miracles recorded in their stories long before Christians did. While choosing one religion over another seems kind of silly since you’re believing in some magical events but not others, atleast going to ones older than Christianity that recorded the “miracles” first makes more sense than believing the later uses of these literary stock type characters & events are true, but not the earlier ones. All I'm saying is I wouldn't equate older religions that christianity, that christianity stole from, as worshipping unicorns.

12/31/2006 6:05:32 PM

There aren't a whole hell of a lot of Eastern Orthodox women in my age bracket in the area (or the country), and of the ones there are, I've met none that would be a decent fit for me -- either they're very conservative about picking men based on their ethnic background (other Greeks, Serbs, etc.), or they're very very religiously active, or something. So I'm pretty much locked into interfaith relationships.

My mom is Methodist and my dad is atheist, and they made a deal before they got married: mom could make dad go to church four times a year and could drag the kids to it whenever, so long as dad generally didn't have to deal with it and could present whatever alternatives he wanted to us. So for the first ten years of my life or so I was infrequently brought to church by mom and was fed Buddhist philosophy and atheist theology by my dad. They let me make my choice and that was that. They've been very happy for 25 years, and I can't recall any of their infrequent fights being about religion.

But then, they're both pretty laid back about their beliefs, so if you or your significant other are more hardcore it'll be a lot tougher.

12/31/2006 6:26:25 PM

My parents are two different denominations of Christian.

So basically I got raised whitebread christian (no real leanings either way and no church/denomination-based politics). It can work out in that sense if you're willing to agree to raise the kids one way, or just to raise them in fairly bland fashion.

I don't know if I could make, say, Buddhism and Judaism work or something like that. If it's a difference sect of a certain major religion, I figure it's doable though.

1/1/2007 5:55:55 AM

Everybody's version of god/s should be put into a cage match to duke it with swords and axes and shit. The last version of god/s still standing is the winner. All living, breathing creatures, even deer, even that little blood sucking tick on that deer's balls, shall convert to that version of religion.

Problem solved.

1/1/2007 6:45:51 AM

honestly i never really thought interfaith relationships were that big of a deal...but thats because i think people who are really super religious are gay

[Edited on January 1, 2007 at 8:28 AM. Reason : holy shit me and bobbydigital are both catholic! ]

Quote :

"Before we got married, she agreed that we'd raise the kids Catholic."

was this like a big thing that you wanted? what if she woulda said she wanted them raised her religion, would that have bothered you?

[Edited on January 1, 2007 at 8:29 AM. Reason : .]

1/1/2007 8:27:11 AM

my parents practice different religions, but it's created almost zero conflict in the marriage.

1/1/2007 8:36:45 AM

^^ no it's required in order to be married in the Catholic church.

1/1/2007 8:56:11 AM

damn, that seems a bit strict in my opinion

1/1/2007 8:58:33 AM

perhaps, but she had no problem with it, so it's a non-issue.

1/1/2007 9:09:46 AM

if it's an issue, would you married her anyway?

1/1/2007 9:14:36 AM

jesus to jesus ain't interfaith is it?

1/1/2007 5:28:24 PM

I once dated a catholic chick (I'm agnostic, raised baptist) and was over at her mom's house and she told me that she would let her daughter marry outside her race before she would let someone marry outside her religion. I think it's funny cause my parents (well really just my dad) would say the complete opposite.

1/1/2007 5:53:04 PM

I'm Christian and my husband was athiest when we met. As far as I know now, he believes in God now, but we don't really talk about it much. I agree with the people who said if you are both very devout to your religion, then it probably wont work as well. My husband and I were upfront with eachother about our religions when we first started dating and, now that we're married and have children, we raise them Christian, even though we are not regular church-goers. Sometimes dating someone of another religion will give you an opportunity to explore what is out there and may even end up changing your mind about what you believe (what occurred with my husband).

1/1/2007 6:43:53 PM

I'm non-denomination and I've found that there are VERRRRRRRY few attractive ND women...

1/1/2007 6:49:11 PM

^^^ good thing it's not up to the parents

^^ why would he magically believe in god, now?

[Edited on January 1, 2007 at 6:52 PM. Reason : sdf]

1/1/2007 6:51:17 PM

^^^I'm very curious that you said you and your husband rarely discuss it. (Also, thanks everyone for the good responses.) I've heard over and over again that the only way to make it work is to not hide it, to bring it out in the open and be honest with each other. I'm a little surprised that you're not even sure if he believes in God or not, but I guess you have a good marriage so something must be working! Was it ever an issue with either of your parents?

1/1/2007 6:56:57 PM

depends what you are talking about.... muslims generally aren't all that compatible with others, or strict jews for that matter...

1/1/2007 10:12:02 PM

^Specifically atheist and Christian, but any insight into how to make different interfaith relationships work is helpful.

1/1/2007 10:38:49 PM

i've done agnostic & christian / atheist & christian / christian & christian (both with a baptist background)

by far the c & c was the easiest and the one to work out for the longest

1/1/2007 10:47:32 PM

My girlfriend is Christian (probably Methodist) and I was Methodist when we met. A couple of months ago I converted to Shinto and so far there have been zero problems. If anything it is a positive because I am more spiritually at peace and therefore in better harmony with my relationships/environment. The only forseeable hurdle is when we take the plunge to get married since weddings are a huge deal in Shinto I don't want to be left out of the loop but since she declared it her day even before I made the change I doubt it would matter even if I was still Christian.

The children will likely be given an array of options and allowed to make their own choices pending their ability to substantiate them. As long as you don't let dogmatic principle run/ruin your life and use religion for it's purpose (spiritual peace and clarity) then it shouldn't matter what two people believe in order to be happy together.

1/2/2007 12:26:46 AM

Quote :

"Specifically atheist and Christian, but any insight into how to make different interfaith relationships work is helpful."

I don't see how you can be in a relationship where one person believes their partner is going to hell.

1/2/2007 8:47:20 AM

This is rather simple. Look at your foundational belief systems. What are the differences and can you live with them. Also how "strict" is that person to their beliefs, how compromising and understanding can they be with yours

Strict religious people are never very happy and generally make for shitty relationships. Those who look outside the box generally do well.

I am Agnostic. However I would have no trouble dating a Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish etc.. as long as they didn't try to push their faith on me too hard. I will never just "have faith" that there is a god.

The most important thing between two individuals is to place each other first. Not God. God comes second.

[Edited on January 2, 2007 at 8:56 AM. Reason : !]

1/2/2007 8:55:37 AM

Quote :

"I don't see how you can be in a relationship where one person believes their partner is going to hell."

Being Christian does not necessitate the belief that atheists are going to hell.

From the priests I've talked to (which may not represent the whole of Orthodoxy), the idea is "We know who's getting into heaven, we don't know who isn't." That is, if you follow the religion, you're good; that doesn't mean that if you don't follow some parts, you're bad. It's one of the reasons I picked it.

1/3/2007 3:27:00 AM

Religion sure does make EVERYTHING more complicated.


I agree if one person's illogical beliefs differ from another person's illogical beliefs then things will be complicated. It just depends on how narrowminded and steadfast the people really are.

1/3/2007 3:41:39 AM

So clever!

1/3/2007 3:48:50 AM

Quote :

"Being Christian does not necessitate the belief that atheists are going to hell."

wtf kind of Christianity are you being taught? Ever hear of "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."?

1/3/2007 9:59:02 AM

Well, that can mean that he's the one who gets to make the call

or

that you have to be christian to get to heaven, which is the preferred interpretation by evangelicals and those who like to use such scare tactics to keep their followers in line.

Somehow, I have serious doubts that Gandhi, for example, is currently burning in hell.

1/3/2007 10:07:14 AM

Oh, please. The idea that Jesus saves people that rejected him on Earth is completely unchristian.

1/3/2007 3:08:20 PM

So is the idea that we, as people, know who is going to hell.

1/3/2007 3:10:19 PM

^ exactly

there is a verse in the Quran also, that is similar to the one quoted above. it basically goes like this:

"islam is the last religion; if people follow any other religion, never will it be accepted of them"

again, some people say it means that all non-muslims will go to hell, but some say the relgion won't be accepted, don't mean they will go to hell necessarily.

i have a hard time seeing mother teresa going to hell, along with thousands of others who selflessly devote their lives to uplifiting the poorest of the poorest.

1/3/2007 3:19:21 PM