My g/f has type 1 diabetes and uses an insulin pump. I'm just wondering if anyone out there who also has type 1 can give me some insight into things that they would wish/like/want their significant other to do, to support them, and manage their condition.

I've read the book "Cheating Destiny" by James Hirsch which was really helpful. If anyone had any similar resources to recommend that would also be great.

Any input is appreciated. Thanks all!

8/18/2008 10:10:28 AM

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8/18/2008 10:26:30 AM

I think this is a most excellent thread. qntmfred does a really good job as the supportive husband. I am so grateful he is around when I have some of my extreme lows. He can tell now when I am going low. Kind of cool. He is always there to ask me if I have checked my sugar and if I even bring my glucose machine out he asks if I am ok. When I have a sugar low Ken is always there to bring me some orange juice and a half peanut butter sandwich. I encourage you to talk to qntmfred about how he deals with me. Ask her what she does when she has a sugar low and be there to supply that when needed. There are also glucose tabs and gel for the lows. The greatest thing you can do when she is almost out of it is not panic!! bc seriously when we have lows it is like we lose the ability to function like sometimes talking, reasoning and being able to sit upright so we are already in a paniced state!! As for high sugars the only thing that really helps with that is insulin and water. Try to learn the tell tell signs of high and low sugars. Ask her about that. When I am low, bc I take novolog, i am able to feel me getting low bc my heart starts racing, I get shaky, I start to sweat profusely and sometimes I get a killer headache. I have never had a seizure or been in shock luckily but be prepared for that might happen at times. All diabetics are different so she might not experience these exact symptoms.

This disease sucks and any support that can be offered is golden. I think any research that you do will be great for this. There is a lot of stuff changing in the field of the juvenile onset. Try learning terms like bolus, basal, sugar high, sugar low, A1c, prime, infusion site, gllucagon, and such so that you can speak with her about these things. Figure out what insulin she uses and then ask her about her carb ratios she has plugged into her pump.

Learning how to cook meals and other foods that she can eat will be helpful bc we are in a world of sweets and junk food just waiting to kill us with a sugar overload. Learning how to bypass misconceptions about the disease is key as well. Being diabetic DOES NOT mean we cannot eat sugar at all. We cannot eat the stuff all the time but we def don't always need to cut it completely out of our diets. The real thing to watch for in foods is carbohydrates. Fruits and juices at times can jack up our sugar a lot worse than any kind of cake or candy. Trying to figure out what makes her sugar go loopy is the key things to stay away from.

The last thing I want to say and I have said it previously is that ALL diabetics are different. This illness affects everyone differently. Take for example, I am able to eat a lot bread and pastas but I have other friends that cannot even look at the stuff without having high sugars so figuring out what really works for her is key.

Mindstorm is another great person to talk to about this subject. He has been on the pump longer than I have and he is more of a pro than I am. I will link him to this thread as well.

This is also a thread that we keep going in chit chat and I bttt it for ya to look at.
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[Edited on August 18, 2008 at 10:49 AM. Reason : s]

8/18/2008 10:49:12 AM

diabetic emergencies are among some of my favorite calls ever to run

altered mental status? k, check bgl.
oh wow, it's that low? start a large bore line, push 25g d50
wait a few minutes
OH WE BACK

one of the few things we truly have the definitive "fix" for in the field

not exactly relevant to the original post, but oh well

8/18/2008 10:56:27 AM

^^ thanks for the response punchmonk

i have been with my g/f for almost 9 months now so I've learned a lot about how to help her with her condition but i also feel like i should be doing a lot more. i always try to ask her questions but at the same time I don't want her to feel like i'm prying or focusing on her condition.

I have so much more to say but I have to step out for a bit . . . i'll get back to this topic later today.

8/18/2008 11:10:40 AM

one of my biggest fears is that some night my g/f will go into hypoglycemic shock and no one will be there to help her.

i have a hard time eating sugar and sweets around her. Even though I know she doesn't want me to change my behaviour, i still feel guilty because I know she wants to eat that stuff though she rarely, if ever, does.

my goal is to learn how to cook her meals that she'll be able to eat. I think if i can do that then it will be a big help to her.

really though, my g/f is my hero for being as brave as she is in managing her diabetes. She works out like crazy, tests her blood sugar frequently and generally eats pretty well. i know sometimes she gets tired of thinking about blood sugar and carbs and everything else but i guess there is little choice so she does what she has to do . . .

8/18/2008 12:04:32 PM

Punchmonk - Not to hijack the thread, but just curious - what was your experience with diabetes and pregnancy? Is it similar to having gestational diabetes? I've just been diagnosed with this and don't know what to expect for the last 3 months of the pregnancy.

8/18/2008 12:08:14 PM

Just keep in mind if she goes batshit crazy aggressive and mean it is probably because her sugar is out of whack. Do not take anything she says personally during those episodes.

8/18/2008 12:31:58 PM

don't change yourself using crazy mind games. she has diabetes, you don't. as long as you aren't flaunting it, it shouldn't matter.

is this your first relationship? she's not an egg, she won't break. go to barnes and noble and go to the self-help/disease section and pick out a couple of books. they've all got something that will help you.

it's a team effort, but you'll just end up resenting her if you don't live your own life and quit babying her.

8/18/2008 12:45:43 PM

^ thanks. solid advice. it's a tough balance being considerate and not going too far.

8/18/2008 1:37:01 PM

Yeah I pretty much agree with what was said in this thread so far. Definitely ask her about her warning signs and stuff and get her to teach you how to use her glucagon needle. Learn how to use her testing equipment.

If she's being really pissed off one day, her blood sugar is prolly out of whack. That's going to be the thing you deal with most commonly with this disease (mood changes). Just make sure you pick places where she can get something to eat that isn't going to kill her. You know, go to restaurants that have stuff like caesar wraps and salads and low-carb options instead of going frequently to places like italian restaurants, pizza joints, and other places with food that'll jack up your blood sugar. Now, I do like italian, pizza, and so on, but I try not to eat too much of it and i don't eat it all the time (shit's bad for my blood sugar). The best thing to do is just to talk to her about the disease, let her know that you're interested and let her talk to you about the disease as much as she is comfortable with.

I would say it's good to be concerned, but don't give specific advice when you're eating like "oh remember to give yourself this much insulin" and so on. It is her disease to manage, but being a cheerleader will certainly make her feel a bit better about having to deal with it. Now, as an exception to managing the disease for her, I will say if she's eaten something and you know she hasn't bolused (given herself insulin for what she's eaten) you should remind her. Sometimes even I forget, and you will feel like shit for hours when you do.

Also, if she doesn't exercise that much, find something fun you can do together like regularly go running. Offer to wear a backpack that has her supplies in it or something when you go running (or go workout together or whatever). God knows, you carry a compact hospital with you as a diabetic to make sure you can treat yourself no matter what situation pops up. It would make it that much easier for her to work out, as she'll already have enough to worry about focusing on running, making sure her insulin pump is safe and stable (it gets in the way SO much), and making sure she isn't getting high or low by mentally checking her symptoms. Exercise is absolutely necessary as a part of treating this disease, and I'm finally starting up some proper regular exercise again to make sure I don't slip into a bad cycle of swinging blood sugars and generally feeling like crap.

Every diabetic is different as mentioned before, and a lot of stuff you will have to learn about simply by speaking directly with her. I've tried to give out a lot of advice on here and to talk about diabetic issues and how you can help people deal with them as a non-diabetic, but it's not applicable to all people. The simplest advice I can give is to be supportive and understanding, to be there for her when she's not feeling good, to be calm when she's freaking out about her diabetes and to help her recover from her high/low, and to learn about what she wants you to do for her in an emergency.

Best of luck to you on your relationship!

Also, ignore everything drunknloaded says.

8/18/2008 2:10:05 PM

fannypack!

8/18/2008 2:24:40 PM

NO fannypacks!

I just keep stuff in my pockets. Being a single male, I don't want to appear ~ by having a fanny pack on. I'd rather look like I have something wrong in my pants.

8/18/2008 2:26:06 PM

I would say that one of the most helpful things (like punchmonk said) is being able to notice when you're low - there are a lot of places you dont want to whine/complain/etc... but having someone understand why you may be acting a certain way & offer a little nudge of help is always very appreciated. You almost lose the ability to comprehend what you need to do at times to make it better - Chris used to carry Starbursts and just hand me 4 or 5.... the silly things like that really let you know how much someone cares. When he cooks, it always tastes fabulous - but is catered to my diet... etc

8/18/2008 6:18:23 PM

my dad is, and my family has struggled with it because he tends to get really moody when his blood sugar is off. you have to be patient, you have to watch what you say because he might not be in a joking mood, and he gets low often so on trips/outings/whatever make sure candy bars, sodas, orange juice, SOMETHING with sugar that they'll eat is available for emergencies.

and we have dinner at the same time, every day. they have to eat on regular schedules and like punchmonk said above, having the right amount of nutritional stuff is key.

[Edited on August 18, 2008 at 7:36 PM. Reason : a]

8/18/2008 7:35:31 PM

One of the things that a good family friend keeps on hand in her purse is a small tube of icing that you would use to write on a cake. If she gets low, she puts some on the inside of her lower lip and it will quickly raise her sugar levels. It's keeps well and is easy to have on hand. Just an idea for those out there who need a quick fix of sugar to keep you from getting too low.

8/18/2008 7:44:21 PM

Quote :

"Exercise is absolutely necessary as a part of treating this disease, and I'm finally starting up some proper regular exercise again to make sure I don't slip into a bad cycle of swinging blood sugars and generally feeling like crap."

What is great about being a diabetic's partner is you tend to be healthier, if she is watching herself. That is one of the few things I appreciate about being a diabetic.

Something to keep in mind is if she drinks alcohol try to encourage her to check her sugar often if she is drinking excessive amounts. What happens is the sugar that the liver naturally produces is decreased and it makes the person feel like they are having a diabetic low. So the natural thing to do is eat eat eat without checking the blood sugar. Therefore a coma is a very natural thing to happen. >.<

I was talking to my endocrinologist the other day and she was telling me about all the diabetics that were coming into the hospital in comas this summer from eating too much watermelon. Watermelon totally jacks my sugar up!!!

I honestly eat what ever I want but in moderation. There are a few things I rarely eat like pizza, orange juice and watermelon.

Quote :

"Punchmonk - Not to hijack the thread, but just curious - what was your experience with diabetes and pregnancy? Is it similar to having gestational diabetes? I've just been diagnosed with this and don't know what to expect for the last 3 months of the pregnancy."

Oh Pecky. I feel for you girlie. I think being a newly diagnosed diabetic while pregnant is prob harder than always having it and just tweaking it for pregnancy. Good luck. I am guessing you are on the Javonivich (sp) diet. That diet sucked more than ever!!! I was def eating like I had gestational diabetes. I could hardly eat anything and my sugar was through the roof. The worst was in the morning. I hated that I could not eat my granola or crispix. Cereal is def a no no. I did not eat a lot of sweets even though I was craving them like a mother. The old wives tell is if you crave sweets you are having a girl. I had a girl and I WAS MISERABLE DURING MY PREGNANCY!! Make sure you are careful with your sugars bc all excess goes to your baby and you could end up with a 10-15 lb baby. Also having out of control sugars is hard on your heart and can lead to preeclampsia (too much water retention). I hope you do not end up having to take insulin. The bottom line is you can try as hard as you can to be on top of things and the hormones still take you for a loop. I had excellent sugars throughout and still had a larger baby with water retention the last three weeks of pregnancy. The last month was the worst. It is also possible that your baby will come early-Maya came at 38 weeks.

Again, good luck. The upside is you will enjoy that baby no matter what your pregnancy was like.

8/18/2008 9:57:27 PM

Quote :

" NO fannypacks!"

You need to get yourself a nice Man-Purse.

8/19/2008 11:50:57 AM

The hell I do!

[Edited on August 19, 2008 at 12:02 PM. Reason : I'll only wear one if I get to point a gun at people.]

8/19/2008 12:02:42 PM

That seems like a reasonable trade-off.

8/19/2008 12:07:30 PM

I'm just now realizing how stylish he looks in that pic. Making guns look fashionable. The NRA should recruit him.

8/19/2008 9:56:16 PM

Punchmonk - I don't have my diet information yet, I just got the diagnosis this week and will be seeing a dietician tomorrow. It's crazy considering I've never had any sugar problems in the past. My fasting number was 78, which is fantastic, but 2 hours after the glucola drink, my sugar was at 190. I have not been craving sweets too much, so that's in my favor (and go figure, I'm having a boy) but I live on carbs so that will have to change. We'll see how it goes - I've only got 12 weeks left in the pregnancy.

8/20/2008 4:52:43 PM

My g/f has resigned herself to a) dying young b) never getting married and c) never having kids

I'd like to attribute b to her parents somewhat less than happy marriage but I know for a fact that both a and c are a direct result of her having type 1. she is tired of living with her diabetes and all that goes along with it. she sees herself as not deserving to be alive due to the fact she needs a drug to keep her in good health.

What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

9/14/2008 12:41:25 PM

if you want to stay with her, you need to tell her to get some professional help

if you dont, you need to leave her and tell her to get some professional help

9/14/2008 12:42:33 PM

I definitely want to stay with her.

I have told her to get help. repeatedly and as recently as one hour ago.

it seems like i'm going to have to choose between someone I love and my desire to have a family. this blows.

9/14/2008 12:48:26 PM

Yeah, tell her to get some professional help. I have similar sentiments sometimes, but mostly just A. I'd like to do C one day, but that requires finding somebody crazy enough to deal with the idea of option B.

She's probably just depressed because dealing with this disease all the time without a good support system makes you depressed. One boyfriend won't be enough to help her, and if her parents are having issues then it's reasonable to assume she's getting stressed out and depressed from all the bad news in her life. She should start seeing a counselor, as that sounds like clinical depression (and it doesn't sound like it's that far off from being filled with suicidal thoughts if she's said something along the lines of "not deserving to be alive due to the fact she needs a drug to keep her in good health").

Whatever you do, just be patient and supportive and realize the relationship may not work out. Don't resign yourself to that position, just make sure to try to push her to get some help. Talk to her parents or her siblings about it and see if they would be willing to talk to her about it. If she fights everybody off and won't get help, then there isn't much you can do. Just know she's got a damn good reason to be depressed and she needs to get help for it.

I'm also not big on support groups (at all) but maybe meeting up with some diabetics or even talking to some other diabetics on an online forum would help. There's so few of us type 1 diabetics that chances are she doesn't have any friends, locally, that are type 1's. It's nice sometimes to have somebody who is going through exactly what you're going through to lend a bit of support (whether in-person or in a little text blurb on the internets).

Good luck.

9/14/2008 12:54:30 PM

Quote :

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

Not being in control of your diabetes does make you feel the way she does. It sucks when you are having a bad streak with it and you constantly feel inept as well as having to let your life revolve around it.

Something that is very serious is if you are not constantly feeding your nutrient cells correctly there is an imbalance in your body chemistry and that def affects serotonin. I know this may sound like bunk but she may need to talk with a her endocrinologist about recommending a doctor to help her with that aspect. I was taking cymbalta for a while bc of this reason. A problem that also occurs is your body starts to constantly ache bc of neuropathy pains and it can happen in more places than just your legs. This goes way beyond restless leg syndrome so cymbalta is a pretty good choice for people with diabetes. A diabetic starts to have nerves that misfire.
Uncontrolled diabetes deals with your nutrition, immune system/body function, your well-being, depression, sexual drive (to be real she may not be wet enough when having sex so that makes it not pleasurable), having kids...EVERYTHING!

I think the help you can give her is support but as far as getting her out of this funk she has to motivate herself. It is hard. I would suggest you talking to qntmfred about how does he deal with me when I am feeling this way. He seems to do a good job, imo. He would be glad to talk with you about this.

[Edited on September 14, 2008 at 4:54 PM. Reason : ...]

9/14/2008 4:29:48 PM

Quote :

"It sucks when you are having a bad streak with it and you constantly feel inept as well as having to let your life revolve around it."

This is the cliff's notes version of my post.

9/14/2008 7:22:37 PM