My official position (that the people I work for call me) Nanny and Mother's Helper.

I work Monday through Friday
Most days my hours at 2:30 to 6:30
The girls get home from school at 3:30.

My daily list jobs are:
Check menu, defrost items that need it*
Kitchen Clean up-dishwasher (load, run, unload) declutter, floors, trash, recycling.*
Laundry- Start new loads, fold clean loads, iron.*
Make beds*
Change beds weekly*
Clean upstairs (2 girls rooms, bathroom, play room, master suite)*
Take out garbage on mondays*
Give the girls a snack and do homework
Drive the girls to their activities everyday.
(If not told to stay at the activity) Pick the girls up everyday.
Cook dinner
Give girls bath and wash hair.

*Should be done before girls get home from school.

On days that the girls don't have a planned activity I must instruct them in a form of music or art.


On mondays I come to work with everything that was done friday night till monday morning still out (food, dishes, dirty clothes, toys) In other words they don't pick up after themseleves at all, ever.

The play room literally has every box of toys dumped out into the floor. Every single stuffed animal is thrown into a pile somewhere else in the house. When the mess is too much for the girls to play with in the play room they move to their seperate bed rooms where they perform the same activities.

I don't get compensation for gas that I use to drive the girls to their activities.

The girls are 6 and 8.
The 6 year is a normal 6 year old girl. She misbehaves some, but otherwise a great kid.
The 8 year old can be a great kid sometimes, however the majority of times she is the spawn of satan. She is ADD and her parents just took her off her medicine (I'm so happy! ). She is also hypoglycemic, so if her blood sugar drops she gets very moody. This happens often because it's almost impossible to get her to eat.
When giving her a bath, almost everytime I leave more wet than she does, because she refuses to wash her hair or body. When trying to get her to change clothes I have picked up bruises and scratches. She has spit at me when trying to hold her back from hitting her sister.

Every day the mother writes something in a notebook telling me what needs to be done that day on top of the normal things, and sometimes she will remind me of things that need to be done. Often times she will ask me why something wasn't done and the messages are becoming more and more harsh.
Yesterday she wrote a note reminding that I needed to wash hair tonight.
When I got there yesterday she was there and said that "someone" was going to pick up her mother, but she didn't know who yet.
So I go about my day as normal. The girls are up at a friends house, so I let them stay up there until about 4 when I call them down and let them watch a movie. About 5:30 I get the first girl in the bath. Her grandmother calls and says that she needs me to come and pick her up. I inform her that I have one girl in the bath but I will be there as soon as she is out. I get the girl out of the bath, dress her in warm clothes because she has wet hair. Get the other girl dressed in warm clothes. It is now about 5 till 6 when I get them into my car.
I pick up the grandmother just a little after 6 and take them back home.
When we get back home the grandmother thanks me for the ride and tells me she will finish with the girls. It's now about 6:15.

Today I get a note from the mother "When I leave a specific note, it is important for you to see that these things are done, ok?. SG didn't get Bath/hair yesterday-please do today. This will be thight but I left a note for this to be done yesterday because of todays activities and it was not done. SG's homework must be done before she comes to my office today at 5. Allie has bball at 5:45"

My problem here is. #1 I didn't know I would be picking up the grandmother yesterday, nor the time that she would need to be picked up. If I had I would have planned the baths around that.
#2 Even if I did stay and give her a bath, by the time I would even be able to get SG in the bath last night it would have been after 6:30 when I would have to leave anyway.

I'm just tired of having notes left for me when I get to work that are along those lines. I only have 1 hour to do all those things with the * beside it, some of which could take much longer than that on it's own.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 3:34 PM. Reason : btw I didn't reread this, so please excuse any errors]

1/22/2009 3:33:49 PM

aHOLY FUCKING WORDS

1/22/2009 3:34:08 PM

i hope you dont have any sort of high school or college diploma

1/22/2009 3:35:36 PM

do you get notes like that a lot?

1/22/2009 3:35:43 PM

I read like the first couple sentences....

With babysitting, you will have to work at that until you die (hopefully not with a baby in your arms).

1/22/2009 3:36:29 PM

you weren't kidding when you said (words)

are you paid under the table?

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 3:38 PM. Reason : a]

1/22/2009 3:36:46 PM

Did I miss where it says how much you are getting paid??

And if you are getting paid well...then either suck it up, or have a sit-down talk with the mom. Quit being a pussy and do something about it.

1/22/2009 3:41:23 PM

Quote :

" hope you dont have any sort of high school or college diploma "

Why do you say that?

Quote :

"are you paid under the table?"

Yes, one of the benefits to this job is that I don't have to report it. (Unless there is anyone from the IRS on this site then I do report it, I just say I'm not to look cool.)

Quote :

"And if you are getting paid well...then either suck it up, or have a sit-down talk with the mom. Quit being a pussy and do something about it."

I'm gettin $10/hour. And the biggest reason for this is to know if I'm over reacting to this situation (Which I have been known to do from time to time) or if this really is a problem that should be addressed.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 3:43 PM. Reason : ]

1/22/2009 3:41:56 PM

I was just asking because if you were not paid under the table, you could claim the mileage on your taxes

1/22/2009 3:42:42 PM

Since you have very little real world experience, the best possible job you could get would be cashier or waitress...so you might just want to stick with it until the economy gets better.

1/22/2009 3:43:27 PM

you need to address the mother, face to face, and tell her what you just told us...

mention that the grandmother said she would watch the girls. if the mother would like to give you authority over the grandmother, then she needs to set those rules in stone.

1/22/2009 3:43:36 PM

You should take a job as a corpse.

1/22/2009 3:44:34 PM

Quote :

"Since you have very little real world experience, the best possible job you could get would be cashier or waitress...so you might just want to stick with it until the economy gets better."

In my opinion this is better than a cashier or waitress job. I hate working in retail, and I enjoy the hours of this job. I'm just questioning if there is another family out there that might treat me a little big better.

Quote :

"mention that the grandmother said she would watch the girls. if the mother would like to give you authority over the grandmother, then she needs to set those rules in stone."

I wrote the mother a note back telling that exact same story and appologizing that SG did not get a bath, and appologizing that I assumed the grandmother would give the baths.



[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 3:47 PM. Reason : ]

1/22/2009 3:45:30 PM

My wife did babysitting for a while when we were both in school. She had to cook dinner, make the kid do hw, and then entertain him for $12/hr (under the table). She had to clean up the mess she made cooking but other than that it was just babysitting (1 kid) 3-5 hours per weekday with the occaisional 8 hours saturday while the mom (single) had to work. I think you're getting gypped.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 3:48 PM. Reason : ]

1/22/2009 3:47:33 PM

Fuck that noise. In high school I babysat for some rich kids and i was a freaking blast. The kids were awesome and the parents were too. They would always provide me with stuff over the top and very rarely did the kids get out of line.

If someone treated me like that even though I was pretty much raising their kids I'd swing the pretty finger

1/22/2009 3:48:45 PM

I'd stick with it for a while...that is REALLY good pay.

I never got paid that much even as a supervisor at a store where I was solely responsible for everything...and I got taxes taken out.

Discuss things with her calmly and sweetly. Don't appear agitated at all. Let her get agitated. Stay cool and calm for the entire discussion.

1/22/2009 3:53:46 PM

Quote :

"I don't get compensation for gas that I use to drive the girls to their activities."

1. You should be compensated for gas and you should also be compensated for mileage. It is your car. OR The mother needs to leave you a car to drive her kids around with.

2. If you need more than an hour to get that stuff done, you should get there at 2 instead of 2:30.

3. Get rid of the stupid note system. Leaving a list is fine but if you need to talk to her or she you, you need to call each other or talk face-to-face.

1/22/2009 3:57:24 PM

Quote :

"I'd stick with it for a while...that is REALLY good pay. "

For dealing with someone's brats?

hell no it isn't

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 4:03 PM. Reason : though this is one of the reasons I am in engineering and not child care]

1/22/2009 4:01:58 PM

I might look for other nanny positions with similar hours, then when you find one you think you like, ditch the current people you're with.

Put up an ad for yourself on craigslist maybe.

1/22/2009 4:06:37 PM

Quote :

"1. You should be compensated for gas and you should also be compensated for mileage. It is your car. OR The mother needs to leave you a car to drive her kids around with. 2. If you need more than an hour to get that stuff done, you should get there at 2 instead of 2:30. 3. Get rid of the stupid note system. Leaving a list is fine but if you need to talk to her or she you, you need to call each other or talk face-to-face"

1.Your complete right

2. I've told her I don't mind coming in earlier because I have time, and she says that 2:30 is just fine

3. I rarely ever see her face to face, and when we do see each other it's at the end of each others days and neither one of us wanna talk.

1/22/2009 4:08:22 PM

You're getting screwed six ways til sunday.

And from what you've posted, you shouldn't even consider the mother a reference for future jobs.

1/22/2009 4:11:01 PM

Kill one of the kids to show the mom that you're hardcore, then use the remaining one as a bargaining chip.

1/22/2009 4:14:13 PM

Yeah, you're getting hosed.

Sucks for you.

1/22/2009 4:17:13 PM

Quote :

"I'd stick with it for a while...that is REALLY good pay. "

No, it isn't. This is my area of expertise.

While the situation you are describing is not unusual, it is not acceptable. I can tell you that you either need to renegotiate or gtfo. It is only going to get worse.

I do not understand why parents think that they can hire childcare and then use them a *free* taxi, cook, and maid. Your family has unreasonable expectations (for that pay and in that time). Even the best of families will take advantage of their nanny if she allows them to.

Remember that you are providing a service and you are ultimately in control. It is very difficult to find quality and trustworthy childcare at a reasonable price. You can always find another family.

1/22/2009 4:19:25 PM

I think it's good pay because I'd do pretty much anything for $10 an hour under the table.

That's like getting paid 12-14 an hour not under the table.

1/22/2009 4:24:27 PM

ill pay you $15/hr to clean my place

but you have to do it with just an apron

1/22/2009 4:25:39 PM

cliff notes plz?

1/22/2009 4:27:02 PM

Quote :

"ill pay you $15/hr to clean my place but you have to do it with just an apron"

I can start today.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 4:28 PM. Reason : h]

1/22/2009 4:28:08 PM

Quote :

"but you have to do it with just an apron"

You don't know what she looks like, do you?

1/22/2009 4:34:14 PM

1/22/2009 4:36:45 PM

If it were me I'd find a new job, or at least a new family. Unless you are happy I can't imagine why you wouldn't look.

The only question is whether or not you drop this before you find another job.

1/22/2009 5:20:59 PM

Quote :

"ill pay you $15/hr to clean my place"

Shit I would pay that no matter who it is cleaning.

1/22/2009 5:24:55 PM

Quote :

"Check menu, defrost items that need it* Kitchen Clean up-dishwasher (load, run, unload) declutter, floors, trash, recycling.* Laundry- Start new loads, fold clean loads, iron.* Make beds* Change beds weekly* Clean upstairs (2 girls rooms, bathroom, play room, master suite)* Take out garbage on mondays*"

you can't do all this in an hour....

Quote :

"I'd stick with it for a while...that is REALLY good pay. "

no, no it's not.

20k a year if it was FULL time but since it's only 4 hours per day that's only 10k for abuse.... fuck that shit

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 6:47 PM. Reason : s]

1/22/2009 6:44:21 PM

you need to add "Maid" to your job title. all of that cleaning is ridiculous. and 10/hour seems really shitty for doing all that babysitting, cleaning, driving around, using your fuel.

you need to talk to this woman and tell her your grievances. and quit making excuses as to why you can't talk to her to her face.

1/22/2009 6:50:31 PM

if you're gonna quit, make sure you found another job first.

1/22/2009 6:51:38 PM

Quote :

" Shit I would pay that no matter who it is cleaning."

I clean good.

1/22/2009 6:59:40 PM

Fuck that noise. It sounds like a shit job and the pay is kind of shitty for the hassle you're putting up with. Of course, you probably can't do any better monetarily, so either suck it up or leave.

1/22/2009 6:59:54 PM

my sister did the same thing and got paid $13/hour (plus occasional gifts and bonuses) and they bought a car for her to use for errands. you are underpaid for what you are doing, and it sounds like you are undervalued. you should have a meeting with the mother, tell her how you feel, and tell her that if she really feels that you are doing that poorly of a job you will find employment elsewhere.

i wouldn't quit without talking to the mother first though. at the very least you will be no worse off, and at best she could apologize and your problems could go away. cant hurt to try.

1/22/2009 7:06:25 PM

Well I talked to my mom about it to ask her opinion and she said "that as a mother of 3 i can say that after hearing what that woman expects of you she in now way knows one thing about running a household" Which it true. My mom also went on to say that it sounds like the parents only wanna do the fun things with the kids, and leave all the dirty work and stuff to me.

The kids had a 2 hour delay from school this morning, and SG still didn't get a bath. When I asked the youngest what they didn't that morning she said that just sat around and listened to music. When I told this to my mom she was like "that woman is lazy"

She also said it's pretty childish of her to write those notes to me like that and won't say it to my face.

But she and I decided it would be best for me to sit down with myself first and pull out all the major points I want to talk about and to practice it (since I'm not very good with confrontation). Then set up a meeting with her. Tell her that I just don't think I can possibly do all the things that she is asking me to do, in the time that I am being asked to do it, especially if she wants me to give the quality of childcare she is asking for. Which is more important to her, having a clean house or having happy children? I also think I should get a raise for the work that I do.

My mom said I probably have more swing in this than I think I do.

1/22/2009 7:40:58 PM

You are getting WAY underpaid! I get $10 an hour to play only, and watch tv/ do homework after I put them to bed. I always clean up after we play with the toys and make dinner but don't clean up anything else because it is always clean when I get there.

Also, when SG spit in your face what did you do to discipline her?

1/22/2009 9:31:43 PM

The only thing I'm allowed to do. Time out and talk to her afterwards, then I can take away things after that. The only problem is that she doesn't care about punisment. Once I told her that if her room isn't clean after 30 mind everything left on the floor would be pit in a trash bag and go in the attic. She didn't pick up one thing and when I got up there with the trash has she helped me put her stuff in it.

1/22/2009 9:35:59 PM

Definitely start looking elsewhere. I wouldn't put up with that for any less than $20/k/year. I don't know how you are expected to get any three of the starred items done in an hour if you do them well, and the mother's behavior is vile.

1/22/2009 9:47:46 PM

i'd say you are getting way underpaid considering the cost of childcare and the amount of crap you do. i would not do what you do for any less than $20/hour and that's cheap in my opinion.

[Edited on January 22, 2009 at 9:52 PM. Reason : ps - that mother sounds like a bitch and her children are going to be rotten]

1/22/2009 9:51:50 PM

Are you black?



'CAUSE THEY TREATIN' YO' ASS LIKE A SLAVE

1/22/2009 9:59:32 PM

Um...I'd probably look elsewhere for a job. For a student, $10/hr is a good pay, but for the shit you're dealing with, it's really not. You're a babysitter and a housekeeper. I'd say that deserves at least $15/hr.

Post on Craigslist. Hell, go to some of the [nicer] schools in Raleigh (or wherever you are) and ask if you could post fliers in the school or something in the school newsletter if they have one advertising your services.

1/22/2009 10:05:17 PM

IS THE FAMILY JEWISH?

1/22/2009 10:38:54 PM

wow this lady sounds like my mom.

1/22/2009 10:54:45 PM

tl;dr

1/22/2009 10:55:38 PM

so you do this while in school full time or instead of school?

be an adult and talk to her

10k after taxes for 4hrs of work every day is a bit low especially if the conditions suck - do you have any certifications / qualifications other than babysitting previously? child care costs are pretty significant nowadays especially for personal attention

1/22/2009 10:56:35 PM

This is part time. I have tons of experince in babysitting as well as working at camps (over nights too). I am crp and first aid certfied. I am qualifed to do this job. And I guess I didn't realize I was getting screwed. I'll work on. My talk this weekend.

1/22/2009 11:09:13 PM