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 Message Boards » » Annoying Business Jargon Page [1] 2, Next  
ncsuallday
Sink the Flagship
9817 Posts
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Post business phrases that annoy you.

"Can we get a gut check on that?"

11/17/2016 3:46:50 PM

Dentaldamn
All American
9974 Posts
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Let's stack hands

We can take this off line

High level overview.

This is table stakes.

Let's circle back

11/17/2016 3:51:48 PM

Dentaldamn
All American
9974 Posts
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In full transparency....

11/17/2016 3:58:43 PM

synapse
play so hard
60908 Posts
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Quote :
"I'll ping him"

11/17/2016 3:59:13 PM

ncsuallday
Sink the Flagship
9817 Posts
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I'll reach out to...

Let's park that for now.

I've got some additional bandwith

What's the ask?

11/17/2016 4:03:57 PM

JayMCnasty
All American
14180 Posts
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Please advise

11/17/2016 4:11:28 PM

wizzkidd
All American
1668 Posts
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Synergy

Turn two (Maybe turn to.. not sure)

11/17/2016 4:40:31 PM

PaulISdead
All American
8547 Posts
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This is outside his wheelhouse

11/17/2016 4:47:57 PM

darkone
(\/) (;,,,;) (\/)
11597 Posts
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So we're all annoyed at idiomatic phrases in general, or is it proximity to cubicles that make them annoying?

11/17/2016 4:58:37 PM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Let me download on you

11/17/2016 5:18:42 PM

Wickerman
All American
2404 Posts
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SWOT analysis

11/17/2016 6:05:56 PM

MiGZ
All American
2314 Posts
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Do the needful

11/17/2016 6:18:12 PM

BridgetSPK
#1 Sir Purr Fan
31378 Posts
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^^^The worst!

^LOL

11/17/2016 7:22:31 PM

bbehe
Burn it all down.
18369 Posts
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Kindly revert and do the needful

11/17/2016 7:24:43 PM

Cherokee
All American
8264 Posts
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"It's almost Friday." < If I ask someone how they are and I get this response, it sends me through the roof.

"Please advise."

"Can you chase him?"

Anytime the word "critical" is used to describe something that objectively falls outside of the scope of the definition for "critical," whether that's the dictionary definition or a legal definition in the context of a company contract.

"What are the next steps?" < This one ESPECIALLY infuriates me when it's asked about something that has only one step. Example: "What are the next steps to get them to go-live?" Answer: "Fix the fucking defects. There are no other steps. We fix the defects and they go live."

I'll have more at another time.

[Edited on November 17, 2016 at 7:28 PM. Reason : asdf]

11/17/2016 7:28:29 PM

rjrumfel
All American
22901 Posts
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"We need to get some traction on this issue"

"Does anyone know the current temperature of the client?"

"Level-set"

Oh, and

"Do the needful"

11/17/2016 7:40:57 PM

ssclark
Black and Proud
14179 Posts
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the shit is "the needful"?

11/17/2016 7:45:41 PM

alfredough
All American
1119 Posts
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"the same"

11/17/2016 7:49:17 PM

EMCE
balls deep
89687 Posts
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Do you have any free cycles to spare?

This might push the schedule right

Let's get everyone together and do a deep dive

11/17/2016 7:49:24 PM

Cherokee
All American
8264 Posts
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^I found out what "push right" and "push left" means. It's from the military if I'm not mistaken. Actually makes a ton of sense.

The "needfull" thing royally pisses me off.

11/17/2016 9:38:51 PM

LaserSoup
All American
5499 Posts
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Quote :
"the shit is "the needful"?"


A fairly common Indian (call center, not casino) phrase for "do what needs to be done."

If I didn't like my job I compile of list of the phrases here and use them as much as possible, every day, with combos for my least favorite people.

[Edited on November 17, 2016 at 9:46 PM. Reason : clarity]

11/17/2016 9:44:06 PM

The E Man
Suspended
15268 Posts
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low hanging fruit

11/17/2016 10:10:19 PM

HCH
All American
3895 Posts
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Can I get fries with that?

11/17/2016 10:13:29 PM

moron
All American
33692 Posts
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Quote :
""What are the next steps?" < This one ESPECIALLY infuriates me when it's asked about something that has only one step"


This is how I end conference calls, it's a good way to lead in to a recap what was discussed and get a clear list of the actual tasks that need to be done, gives people an opportunity to speak up if anything was missed.

11/17/2016 10:21:52 PM

PaulISdead
All American
8547 Posts
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would you like to sign up for a credit card and get 5% off your 13$ purchase today

11/17/2016 10:24:32 PM

scotieb24
Commish
11029 Posts
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Quote :
"the shit is "the needful"?"


Yeah I had never heard this one before either.

11/17/2016 11:34:43 PM

ncsuallday
Sink the Flagship
9817 Posts
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Storming and Norming

Crucial Converation ®

3/1/2017 2:22:28 PM

dtownral
Suspended
26632 Posts
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Quote :
"^I found out what "push right" and "push left" means. It's from the military if I'm not mistaken. Actually makes a ton of sense."


does pushing the schedule right not mean that its going to extend or delay the schedule (i.e. the gantt chart shifts)?

I've heard this phrase and assumed that's what it meant but now i'm curious about the military meaning

3/1/2017 2:26:52 PM

rjrumfel
All American
22901 Posts
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"level set"

3/1/2017 2:46:22 PM

Dentaldamn
All American
9974 Posts
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"low hanging fruit" is the fucking worst

also my boss likes to say "spreading the peanut butter" in reference to product updates and selling them.

3/1/2017 3:05:26 PM

Novicane
All American
15408 Posts
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touch base

risk assesment

lets have a follow up call

auditors are here today

kudos

nickel tour

business as usual

3/1/2017 4:47:28 PM

dtownral
Suspended
26632 Posts
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At least they say business as usual, I get b-a-u

3/1/2017 5:45:39 PM

Ogcack

4486 Posts
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E-commerce

3/1/2017 5:56:02 PM

aimorris
All American
15213 Posts
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align on our end

3/1/2017 6:48:16 PM

JayMCnasty
All American
14180 Posts
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High visibility

3/2/2017 1:33:36 AM

acraw
All American
9257 Posts
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haha I just used low hanging fruit today. ( in R&D)

3/2/2017 6:16:49 PM

kiljadn
All American
44689 Posts
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close the loop
circle the square
30,000' view
value-add
ROI or ROTI



I have to admit that I am guilty of many of these, just by virtue of being a person who works in a business

3/3/2017 8:25:07 AM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35376 Posts
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Suboptimization

3/3/2017 8:30:46 AM

ncsuallday
Sink the Flagship
9817 Posts
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Can we get a plus/delta?

3/7/2017 11:50:22 AM

JeffreyBSG
All American
10165 Posts
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impact

(especially as a verb)

3/7/2017 3:50:31 PM

Bobby Light
All American
2650 Posts
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I immediately want to rage quit Outlook every fucking time I see "please advise" at the end of an email. And it's VERY often. And it's always from a know-it-all, "thinks their time is more important than yours", idiot.

3/7/2017 9:25:07 PM

ncsuallday
Sink the Flagship
9817 Posts
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spitballing (brainstorming).

"John and I were spitballing earlier and came up with a great idea"

this has to be the worst one I've encountered so far. my boss must have read the term in a book because shes' using it really frequently now

3/29/2017 10:59:35 AM

colangus
All American
748 Posts
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I hate when I hear "how was your weekend?" or "good morning".... ughh... Leave me the f alone.

3/29/2017 1:09:31 PM

marko
Tom Joad
72723 Posts
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innovation

3/29/2017 1:14:11 PM

FroshKiller
All American
51873 Posts
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"Spitballing" isn't jargon, and it isn't the same as brainstorming. You individually might be spitballing during brainstorming, but they aren't the same.

Also, colangus: get over/go fuck yourself. You being annoyed by people saying good morning to you is not a gripe about jargon, no one cares, take it to the workplace annoyances thread, or better yet just shove it directly up your ass and die.

3/29/2017 2:38:21 PM

smoothcrim
Universal Magnetic!
18914 Posts
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"what's the ask?"

3/29/2017 8:38:38 PM

richthofen
All American
15758 Posts
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pain point

3/29/2017 8:57:33 PM

colangus
All American
748 Posts
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Quote :
"Also, colangus: get over/go fuck yourself. You being annoyed by people saying good morning to you is not a gripe about jargon, no one cares, take it to the workplace annoyances thread, or better yet just shove it directly up your ass and die."


Ehh... that was a joke. I was kinda saying some of the responses were just normal ways of communicating.

3/29/2017 11:38:45 PM

tchenku
midshipman
18568 Posts
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improvment/safety/cleanliness standards. At my place, they're

kaizen, 5S, MMOL

[Edited on March 30, 2017 at 11:48 AM. Reason : I suppose it's not "jargon" but I hate talking about that crap]

3/30/2017 11:46:16 AM

Cherokee
All American
8264 Posts
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Quote :
"does pushing the schedule right not mean that its going to extend or delay the schedule (i.e. the gantt chart shifts)?

I've heard this phrase and assumed that's what it meant but now i'm curious about the military meaning"


If what I remember is true, it's like when you look at a calendar. To the right is in the future, to the left is in the past. So pushing left means bring it up and push it right means delay it.

3/30/2017 1:23:11 PM

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