A man had the week off for the first time since he can remember. He had been working hard so he decided to really relax and go fishing.
He takes the old beat up car and tosses his fishing gear in the car and takes off wearing his worst clothes. He has a great day and catches a whopper of a fish and tosses it in the floorboard of the car because he didn't bring a cooler.
Well, he races home hoping to get there before the fish spoils.
When he crosses the last bridge before he gets to his house he sees a cop car parked on the other side. The cop is holding a radar gun.
Knowing he is caught, and comes to a stop a few feet down the road.
The cop comes to the window and writes the man a ticket. He can tell the man is in a hurry so he takes his time. When he leans in to hand him the ticket he notices a terrible odor coming from inside the car.
He says to the man, "I have seen your type before. Look at you. You should be at work at a time like this. Why don't you get a job and buy yourself some new clothes and take a bath for goodness sakes".
The man says, "I already have a job officer".
"Really? What does someone like you do?"
"I'm an asshole stretcher"
"An asshole stretcher?" Says the cop, "No wonder you stink so bad. How do you do it?"
"Well" Says the man, "I start slow with one finger. Then two and so on. Finally I get so I can get my hand in and then both hands. I then pull and stretch until the asshole is as big as six feet sometimes."
The cop, looking confused, scratches his head and says, "What in the world would someone do with a six foot asshole?"
The man smiles and says. "Put him on the end of a bridge with a radar gun."
submitted by Fermat on Thursday, January 24 at 2:38 AM
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