http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060317/ap_on_en_tv/tv_south_park;_ylt=AhQTvRryzZH7PUjVQxy.fTWs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3b2NibDltBHNlYwM3MTY-

Quote :

"'South Park'-Scientology Battle Rages On NEW YORK - "South Park" has declared war on Scientology. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of the animated satire, are digging in against the celebrity-endorsed religion after a controversial episode mocking outspoken Scientologist Tom Cruise was yanked abruptly from the schedule Wednesday — with Internet rumors it was covert warfare by Cruise that led to its departure. "So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!" the "South Park" creators said in a statement Friday in Daily Variety. "Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies... You have obsructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail!" Internet bloggers accused Cruise of threatening to not promote "Mission Impossible 3," a surefire summer blockbuster, if the offending episode ran. Comedy Central is owned by Viacom, as is Paramount, which is putting out "MI:3." But Cruise's representative, Arnold Robinson, told The Associated Press Friday that the mega-star made no such demands. "Not true," Robinson said. "I can tell you that he never said that." A call by The Associated Press to a Paramount representative was not returned Friday. The episode in question, "Trapped in the Closet," which first aired last November, shows Scientology leaders hailing Stan, one of the show's four devilish fourth graders, as a savior. A cartoon Cruise locks himself in a closet and won't come out. An animated John Travolta, another famous Scientologist, enters the closet to try to get him out. In another dig at the famously secretive religion, the credits at show's end are filled with names like "John Smith" and "Jane Smith." The battle began in earnest earlier this week when Isaac Hayes, another celebrity Scientologist and longtime show member — voicing the ladies' man Chef — quit the show, saying he could no longer tolerate its religious "intolerance and bigotry." Stone and Parker didn't buy that either. On Monday, Stone told The Associated Press, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith in Scientology...He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians." A Comedy Central spokesman said Friday that the network pulled the controversial episode to make room for two shows featuring Hayes. "In light of the events of earlier this week, we wanted to give Chef an appropriate tribute by airing two episodes he is most known for," the spokesman said."

3/18/2006 2:55:33 PM

http://throwawayyourtv.com/2006/03/south-park-scientology-episode.html

3/18/2006 3:07:57 PM

http://www.thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=393865

3/18/2006 3:14:38 PM

^ Not the same thing...

3/18/2006 3:16:26 PM

This has been posted and discussed in that thread.

Whatever.

3/18/2006 4:00:47 PM

I thought the youtube thing had been yanked, but I was able to watch it via the above link.

Once again, Trey and Matt have the Midas touch. And I loved how, at the end, the Scientologists said that they were going to sue. That just sounds like something that they'd do.

3/18/2006 4:21:18 PM

whoa ho ho this could get good.

I noticed they pulled the episode. I was actually looking forward to seeing it again and just assumed my channel guide messed up.

3/18/2006 6:02:56 PM

silly ol scientology

3/18/2006 6:10:03 PM

chef is realy gone......man thats no good

3/18/2006 10:23:37 PM

what does obsructed mean

3/18/2006 10:38:12 PM

I guess it means that Tome Cruise has now surpassed John Edward ("psychic" dude) as the greatest douche in the universe.

3/18/2006 10:46:54 PM

why are scientologists such morons, they cant take a fuckin joke. they are worse than muslims

3/18/2006 10:59:46 PM

why are celebrities so into this shit? its such a bizarre and utterly stupid concept. does all the money cause boredom?

3/19/2006 1:47:08 AM

gg matt and trey

3/19/2006 1:51:43 AM

Is it really a "celebrity" thing, though?

I just figure that Scientology got a (very) lucky break when the first couple of celebrities and movie stars joined their ranks. Like, had celebrities not joined, Scientology wouldn't have obtained the type of advertising and attention that they enjoy now. Big stars like Tom Cruise advocate and push the religion not only onto the infinite supply of fans who eat up Cruise's shit, but also onto other celebrities, who in turn have fans who will eat up their shit and will convince other celebrities to join in, ad infinitum. I don't know whether this was a simple split-second reaction to opportunity or actually part of its plan, but you have to hand it to the Church of Scientology for being so diabolically clever.

In any case, with the influence of the media and the media's biggest players, I fear that Scientology will not be going away any time soon.

3/19/2006 1:55:11 AM

Quote :

"In any case, with the influence of the media and the media's biggest players, I fear that Scientology will not be going away any time soon."

(sigh) that's what we're afraid of...

3/19/2006 3:03:51 AM

is the little story on southpark about scientology's beliefs really true? can't be.

3/19/2006 3:15:04 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology

Wiki ain't exactly scientific, but there's a picture of an E-Meter *and* Xenu on there.

3/19/2006 3:28:18 AM

^^ Yes, but they only tell a small part of the insane story.

3/19/2006 11:06:18 AM

It's worth mentioning that Scientology's beliefs are no more absurd Christianity's, Judaism's, Islam's....

3/19/2006 11:15:22 AM

L. Ron Hubbard was a genius...
few people truly understand humans as well as he did...
he knew, all you need is a hint of secret knowledge and a shitload of indoctrination and you can get someone to believe ANYTHING...
jeebus...

3/19/2006 11:16:23 AM

I've said this ten times in the past week on here, but Scientology's beliefs are ABSOLUTELY more absurd than any of those mentioned religions for a number of reasons.

3/19/2006 11:16:50 AM

How's that? I find the premise of AN ALIEN SPACEMAN storing the souls of condemned criminals in volcanos infinitely more believable as a tenet of original sin than two naked simpletons eating apples 'cause a snake told them to, and that's just for starters.

[Edited on March 19, 2006 at 11:25 AM. Reason : AN ALIEN SPACEMAN]

3/19/2006 11:25:06 AM

official scientology cross:


way to be original

3/19/2006 11:31:56 AM

the only good thing i can say about scientology

it gets jason lee more roles

and anything that gets jason lee more screen time is aight

3/19/2006 12:04:20 PM

^^^ Scientology is less plausible if for no other reason than you have no documentation of Jesus' insecurities and neuroses that would have led him to, say, call his religious officers Sea Org because he couldn't get into the Navy.

3/19/2006 12:08:48 PM

they're more plausible because there's actually some evidence that jesus was a real person. that by itself means it had more credibility than a bunch of aliens

3/19/2006 12:20:30 PM

^^

Actually, Hubbard did serve in the Navy.

But it's also amazing the guy never got kicked out (although he got relieved of command once).

[Edited on March 19, 2006 at 1:11 PM. Reason : .]

3/19/2006 12:51:03 PM

Quote :

"why are celebrities so into this shit? its such a bizarre and utterly stupid concept. does all the money cause boredom?"

Because all of the religions with moral codes that say their extravagant, selfish, shallow lifestyles aren't very fufilling are of course not going to be very interesting to them.

3/19/2006 1:37:27 PM

Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, the best way to do it would be start his own religion. - L Ron Hubbard

3/19/2006 1:50:39 PM

^^^ Interesting.

3/19/2006 2:18:27 PM

There is no better place to put this. This is a true story, and I really regret that the one time in Africa I did not have my camera was when I saw this.

When I was in Maun, Botswana, there was a tractor trailer with a huge banner on the side promoting, you guessed it, Scientology. I was amazed to say the least.

3/19/2006 8:40:05 PM

P.T. Barnum insists there's one of'em born every minute.

3/20/2006 4:39:25 AM

Quote :

"the only good thing i can say about scientology it gets jason lee more roles and anything that gets jason lee more screen time is aight"

is jason lee a scientologist???

3/20/2006 9:59:29 AM

Did anyone see the group of Scientologists outside Cary Town Mall yesterday? (Sunday MArch 20th). I woun up arguing with the older bearded guy... and when he got angry with me this is what he said verbatim

"If I was still Ghengis Khan I would crush you for your hurtful words".

God I love Scientologists.

They didn't have an e-meter there but they did have posterboard signs!

3/20/2006 10:06:24 AM

have you guys ever read the smoking gun files on L Ron Hubbard? they're NUTS. the dude was completely insane. Check em out if you get the chance.

3/20/2006 10:43:37 AM

I’ve known a couple of scientologists, and as with any religion you can't tell by looking at them and would never know unless you had a conversation about religion with them. Granted I only known a few, so its only anecdotal evidence, but they didn’t come off as crazy. As long as it’s not hurting anyone else I’m not going to think less of them any more than I would of any one of any religion who designates which beliefs of theirs count as sacred or believes in the supernatural.

3/20/2006 10:53:50 AM

It has hurt me. Chef is gone man. Chef.

3/20/2006 10:58:22 AM

Quote :

"How's that? I find the premise of AN ALIEN SPACEMAN storing the souls of condemned criminals in volcanos infinitely more believable as a tenet of original sin than two naked simpletons eating apples 'cause a snake told them to, and that's just for starters."

Quote :

"FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING FAGGOT COLLEGE KID LET ME TELL YOU A SECRET NONE OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON RELIGION ARE RADICAL OR EVEN THOUGHT-PROVOKING IT'S NO SECRET YOU GOT THEM OFF A FUCKING WEBSITE WE'VE ALL READ THE PROSELYTIZER QUESTIONNAIRE TOO NOTHING YOU CAN SAY IS GOING TO LEND A FRESH OUTLOOK DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT FOR SEVERAL FUCKING CENTURIES NOW SOME OF THE MOST EDUCATED PEOPLE IN THE ANNALS OF HUMAN HISTORY HAVE DEVOTED THEIR LIVES TO ANSWERING DEEPER THEOLOGICAL CONCERNS THAN YOUR PETTY BULLSHIT ABOUT THE DISCREPANCIES IN THE GENEALOGIES OF CHRIST IN THE GOSPELS? I MEAN HOLY FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY COCKSUCKER WHO EVER NOTICED THAT OR SOMETHING?! WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU'RE STILL JUST A STUPID KID AND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IS SHAMEFUL INCONSIDERATE AND DISRESPECTFUL BECAUSE MAYBE YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO LIVE ACCORDING TO A STRICT MORAL CODE AND MAYBE YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO ACTUALLY TRY AND DEVELOP A STRONG, HONORABLE CHARACTER BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT FOR YOU TO ATTACK MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF PEOPLE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO PLAY THE VICTIM TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY "FORCE THEIR BELIEFS" ON YOU BY HANDING OUT A FUCKING PAMPHLET I MEAN HOLY FUCKING CHRIST WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IS TEN TIMES WORSE GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY THIS REBELLION AGAINST MOMMY AND DADDY ISN'T IMPRESSING ANYONE WE'VE SEEN IT BEFORE YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST YOU ARE NOT EVEN REMARKABLE STOP ARGUING WITH GARY HE IS MAKING A FOOL OF YOU I SWEAR UPON THE BODY AND BLOOD OF THE PIERCED FUCKING JEW KING THAT IF YOU PULL THIS SALISBURYBOY, SYLVERSHADOW KIND OF SHIT ON ME YOU WORTHLESS WICCAN PANTYSTAIN I WILL SPLIT THE TENDER TISSUES OF YOUR WEEPING ASSHOLE WITH A HARDCOVER EDITION OF THE NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION OF THE HOLY FUCKING BIBLE YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUCKING SMART I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO THE SAME SHIT WITH ANY RELIGION BESIDES CHRISTIANITY OR JUDAISM WITH SOME BOOK BESIDES THE BIBLE OR THE TORAH YOU AIDS-FELCHING CUM FLAKE SO PUT THAT IN YOUR FUCKING PIPE YOU JUST BOUGHT FROM BUDDHA'S BELLY THE FIRST WEEKEND YOU WERE UP HERE AND SMOKE IT YOU FUCKING FAGGOT COLLEGE KID"

Quote :

"The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion.""

-L. Ron Hubbard

Quote :

"is jason lee a scientologist???"

yes. BUT, I hold to the notion that it's just for the connections, just like it is for most of the famous scientologists (minus cruise, who's a nut, and probably travolta and some of the others).

[Edited on March 20, 2006 at 11:33 AM. Reason : .]

3/20/2006 11:30:51 AM

I know you think you just did something clever, but I'd love to see your explanation for why you think so.

3/20/2006 11:32:45 AM

at I actually think is not so much that I did something clever, but that I like posting things people say that contradict other things they say, even if one or both are meant to be sarcastic

3/20/2006 11:34:05 AM

someone do something with this:

3/20/2006 9:04:28 PM

Quote :

" I’ve known a couple of scientologists, and as with any religion you can't tell by looking at them and would never know unless you had a conversation about religion with them."

It could be that they may not have even known about the nuttier parts of Scientology beliefs.

Most Scientologists aren't suppose to know about Xenu and what the Body Thetans are exactly, and about the giant soul catcher, and the B-52-like space ships, etc. (basically all the nutty stuff), until they reach the higher levels of Scientology. And they are suppose to resist anyone who tries to break the order of them learning stuff (because if they learn it before they're ready, it can revert their Thetan state, or something). This is all according to Wikipedia (which really could be all complete BS about the crazy parts of Scientology, and is probably where the Southpark guys got the ideas for their episode) though.

But, the early levels of Scientology are mostly just general self-help Philosophical stuff, and it's the later parts (that very few Scientologists are suppose to know about) that are nutty.

3/20/2006 11:54:01 PM

Quote :

"someone do something with this:"

I think Tom did all you need already.

3/21/2006 1:12:07 AM

The Return of Chef @ 10:00pm on Wednesday. Relates to this CNN article:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/03/21/television.southpark.reut/index.html

3/21/2006 12:51:45 PM

http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=393865

3/21/2006 12:58:34 PM