Yeah so about a month ago I give a girl the ultimatum and when she comes back she still says she needs more time.......I think I already know what that means. But it wouldn't hurt to get some TWW feedback

8/30/2006 4:24:20 PM

find another one.

8/30/2006 4:25:37 PM

Ultimatum is a pretty big word... maybe she just didn't understand it

8/30/2006 4:26:45 PM

"I need more Time Dick"

8/30/2006 4:31:33 PM

you should be more descriptive

8/30/2006 4:32:35 PM

yeah what do you mean my the ultimatum

8/30/2006 4:35:01 PM

^^^^haha

and ultimatum concerning what?

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 4:35 PM. Reason : asdfasd]

8/30/2006 4:35:24 PM

well you can look at it one of two ways:

1) she'll think you are a dick for giving her an ultimatum that shouldnt matter. in this case, you are an asshole and she should leave you.

2) she'll think you are a dick for giving her an ultimatum that shouldnt matter. in actuality, it is a big deal, and you should just dump her in the first place if you've already talked about said issue before.

8/30/2006 4:40:41 PM

She's fucking another guy with a larger more muscular cucocker, yah you should move on, and give the bitch a black eye

8/30/2006 4:44:38 PM

I know that I want to be with her for the rest of my life and she has reciprocated the same feelings. She is about to move from the Raleigh area up north for a job. I am gonna be getting a job here in a bit down south. I know I can make it work regardless of distance because I love her and ultimately want to be with her. My ultimatum was because I know what I want in a girl and that is her. If she can't commit then I want to know now so that when I move I don't waste anymore time "Waiting" around to see if her feelings change and that she can committ.

8/30/2006 4:45:53 PM

I guess I am just tired of being in this gray area and letting a girl have her cake and eat it too

8/30/2006 4:46:38 PM

you and graniteballs need to get together and talk i think

8/30/2006 4:48:58 PM

Naw....graniteballs is all messed up.

8/30/2006 4:50:47 PM

its her time. she's running low

8/30/2006 4:51:31 PM

yeah...you've clearly got it together

Quote :

"it wouldn't hurt to get some TWW feedback"

good luck

8/30/2006 4:51:35 PM

Normally, I'd say she's just not that into you if she'd automatically choose the job over you. But this is hard for her.

PS: Long distance sucks, so good luck.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 4:54 PM. Reason : .]

8/30/2006 4:52:41 PM

Quote :

"I know what I want in a girl"

She doesn't want it

8/30/2006 5:02:21 PM

she's giving you permission to sex other women

8/30/2006 5:25:14 PM

Quote :

"I know that I want to be with her for the rest of my life and she has reciprocated the same feelings."

You're too young to know that right now. Is she your first? Second? Third?

Also...if you're letting your feelings overrule everything else in your search for a lifetime mate, you need to go have your head examined.

Love doesn't conquer all. It just makes it that much harder dealing with the things you grow to not be able to stand about the other person.

You'd better take a good, hard, cold look at the situation. If you don't, you're only screwing yourself.

8/30/2006 5:25:38 PM

i dont see the difference if it his 3rd or 50th woman. if you spend enough time with someone you can learn a lot about them. dating 10 women that you decided you didnt like in a week or two doesnt provide much insight if you ask me.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 5:29 PM. Reason : but yeah you have to examine things carefully]

8/30/2006 5:29:20 PM

chances are you're wasting your time and everything else

8/30/2006 5:29:53 PM

Quote :

"PS: Long distance sucks, so good luck."

ain't that the truth

8/30/2006 5:37:10 PM

Quote :

"i dont see the difference if it his 3rd or 50th woman. if you spend enough time with someone you can learn a lot about them. dating 10 women that you decided you didnt like in a week or two doesnt provide much insight if you ask me. "

That is about as far from the point I was hoping to make as you can get.

I'm talking about the fear of letting go because of your own lack of experience and/or clouded judgment. Some people have a tendency to cling a little too hard to something not worth clinging to, ESPECIALLY if they don't know any differently...

This has very little to do with the conclusions you can make if you stay relatively objective.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 5:45 PM. Reason : any differently...]

8/30/2006 5:44:33 PM

I think it means "I'm not sure about you yet." She's either looking for someone better or no one at all. Either way, I don't think its you. I don't know what the ultimatum is, but if you told her you loved her and she came back with "I need more time" I think I would go shopping for another.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 5:49 PM. Reason : Girl sounds kinda harsh dude]

8/30/2006 5:49:24 PM

Quote :

"Love doesn't conquer all. It just makes it that much harder dealing with the things you grow to not be able to stand about the other person. You'd better take a good, hard, cold look at the situation. If you don't, you're only screwing yourself."

'tis true. Love mitigates, it never solves.

Also, she might just be cooling off on you. It happened to me, and I missed the signs because I was in another state. Don't make my mistakes. If she denies this "ultimatum" of yours, it might (read: probably doesn't) mean that she needs more time to "fall in love with you", but my guess is that she's probably too afraid to tell you that she doesn't love you anymore. It'll hurt like hell, but I can assure you that an unsatisfactory marriage is worse than being single for a while. Make up your own mind, and stick with it, but don't ignore the telltale signs of a relationship on the outs because you think you're "in love".

8/30/2006 5:55:08 PM

Paging Granite Balls


RallyDurham come into this thread and drop the knowledge asap

8/30/2006 5:55:10 PM

it's a nice way to say "move on" or "try harder stupid"

she doesn't need more time, it's a bullshit excuse because she's scared of something

8/30/2006 6:05:33 PM

i need more time means: the guy she's fucking on the side has a bigger dick than you, but he isn't around as much as you are

8/30/2006 6:07:26 PM

Quote :

"I know I can make it work regardless of distance because I love her and ultimately want to be with her. "

THIS IS WHY YOUR ULTIMATUM WON'T WORK

She knows she can string you along indefinitely and that your ultimatum is bullshit. You can pine for her or break things off. Don't make an ultimatum unless you're willing to accept any consequence of it, and definitely don't make one thinking it'll make her hurry up and decide.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 6:15 PM. Reason : I can spell banana but I don't know when to stop]

8/30/2006 6:14:33 PM

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8/30/2006 6:15:07 PM

OK, you asked everybody, so here are my two cents:

I was close to your age when I FINALLY learned this lesson, and it really sucked for me. The ultimatum was a huge mistake because now you are in a no-win situation - if you stick to your guns you will be heartbroken (although you probably won't be able to anyway) and if you don't you are setting yourself up for a fall later. You are probably too young, but if you are SURE you are ready to spend the rest of your life with her even after she gets fat or sick or whatever and your libido towards her cools off (it will eventually), AND your relationship is mature enough, then I say offer her the ring and live with whatever she says. Otherwise, I say back off a bit and see other people while you give the long-distance thing a try. Good luck, guy.

8/30/2006 7:07:13 PM

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8/30/2006 7:21:46 PM

if she needs more time, then she probably doesn't give a shit or forgot.

get rid of her.

8/30/2006 7:41:57 PM

forget about it, just think of it as ur college g/f...she is moving up N, she purposely looked for a job outside Raleigh....she doesnt know how to break it to you, but she isnt interested in marriage at this point....she is more interested in getting her career started and not having to deal with a spouse. You will not be able to keep the relationship working long distance, dont even try it...you are bound to get hurt....go ahead and end it on friendly terms...so you can be invited to her wedding some day....

When she took the job up N, you should of figured you werent in her long term plans(no mater how much sweet shit she says to you). Move on.

[Edited on August 30, 2006 at 9:10 PM. Reason : w]

8/30/2006 9:10:28 PM

^yeah if she wanted to be with you for the rest of her life as you said

Quote :

"I know that I want to be with her for the rest of my life and she has reciprocated the same feelings."

then she wouldnt have wedeged something like moving up N for a job between you guys.....sounds to me like she doesnt want to hurt your feelings and is looking for an easy way out..

YOU DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT WANT TO STAY INVOLVED WITH HER.....SHE IS MOVING TO A NEW PLACE, STARTING A NEW LIFE, SHE WILL MEET NEW PEOPLE, NEW GUYS.

if you keep yourself involved in this you are just setting yourself up to get hurt over and over again

8/30/2006 9:36:24 PM

^ that and ^^ are wholly and completely right... if you knew she was moving and you had to give the final notice... she didnt consider you a big enough part to co plan things. its gonna be nice while it lasted but if you cant even move together how much of a chance do you have? marriage is a huge step above dating... in my opinion...

8/30/2006 9:41:34 PM

Quote :

""I need more Time Dick""

"I need dick other than yours."


There.. Fixed it for ya!

8/30/2006 9:44:35 PM

^ agreed

8/30/2006 9:52:42 PM

1. If you have to resort to childish bullshit like an ultimatum, then the relationship is doomed and you're probably not ready for one that serious anyway

2. If you are airing the dirty laundry on TWW, then you fucked up. Trust me.

3. "more time" is her way of telling you (consciously or unconsciously) that she's not ready. Regret is a bitch, so let her have her fun.

4. Regret is a bitch, so go have fun. Be a little stupid if you like, just don't go getting DUI's or having babies or getting incurable diseases etc. and you're probably OK.

5. Let sleeping dogs lie. If she wants to go live her life and you really think you're meant to be together, then let her go and if she comes back then kudos; trying to tie her down from afar will only show her all the things she despises about you. In the mean time, don't shut any doors.

8/30/2006 10:04:56 PM

Quote :

"she's just not that into you"

+1

8/30/2006 10:26:22 PM

dont come to the wolfweb for freedback
that is step 1

8/30/2006 10:33:49 PM

Quote :

""I need more Dick""

8/31/2006 12:38:39 AM

i recommend a time transplant.

8/31/2006 2:41:14 AM

You've clearly not given her enough time.

It means you should think long and hard and keep focusing on her. It will only help the situation because you can influence her actions by the sheer power of your mind. If you agonize enough, she'll reward you.




I am not being serious.


You could also quote some clever lines. Tell her you want sympathy in the form of her crawling into bed with you.

8/31/2006 3:23:49 AM

it means that she is enjoying fucking other people while she "figures things out"

get away from the situation

8/31/2006 6:27:45 AM