WARNING: [words]



first i was on provigil 200mg.. it worked VERY WELL for like 2 days - wasn't sleepy at all, was in a much better mood, more attentive, etc... then i didn't feel a thing, and felt exactly as i did before.

upped it to 400mg... again, it worked for around 2 days, and then i was back to where i was.

then tried vyvanse... started at 50mg, it was AWESOME, that same day i was able to concentrate and got a shit ton of homework and stuff from work done, was actually LOOKING for things to do, cleaned the house, cleaned my car... and, most importantly, I WASN'T TIRED AT ALL. oh my fucking god, you have no clue how happy i was that day. i finally thought we had found a fix for my problems.

the next day, i took it, and felt ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. at all. i felt exactly the same as i did before. i couldn't pay attention, didn't feel like doing anything, was tired as hell despite getting 8 hours of sleep the night before... it sucks.

so i upped it to 70mg. same thing, it worked for a few days and then stopped.

kept upping it.

this morning i took 140mg, and, as usual... i don't feel a fucking thing.


GODDAMNIT WHAT THE FUCK.

140mg of dextroamphetamine should make me COMPLETELY WIRED.

what the fuck is wrong with me?


luckily my doctor and i have a very good relationship, he trusts my medical instincts/knowledge. usually i go in or call him and tell him what's going on, he asks me what i think we should do, i tell him, and he offers his suggestions or alternatives, if any. he's been awesome, as always, throughout this whole thing, even going as far as to call up UNC neurology and bitch at them for taking so long on my sleep study. with the provigil and vyvanse, he basically told me to keep trying different doses... which i have been doing... and the same thing happens each time.

vyvanse isn't approved for use in adults yet, so the maximum recommended dose is 70mg. i'm at twice that. i'm not going any farther, this obviously isn't going to work.


do i just have freakishly fast tolerance mechanisms? this is getting ridiculous. the same thing happened when i was on antidepressants - they worked fine for like a week or so, then i didn't feel anything at all from them. i tried lexapro, cymbalta, effexor, and wellbutrin... ugh.


on a lighter note, i think i may have figured out part of what's wrong with me:

Quote :

" 1. Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities. 2. Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities. 3. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly. 4. Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions). 5. Often has trouble organizing activities. 6. Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework). 7. Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools). 8. Is often easily distracted. 9. Is often forgetful in daily activities. "

that sounds AWFULLY familiar (i.e. all 9 statements are true of myself)... ADHD-PI, or ADHD primarily inattentive. now if the fucking medications would work, this would be great.


has this sort of thing happened to any of you guys (the freakishly fast tolerance)? what have you done about it? haven't been able to find anything in any of my textbooks about it.

any other recommendations for ADHD meds?

people keep telling me that all i need to do is just sit down and focus on shit if i want to get it done... apparently they have no clue how impossible that is for me.

i know it can be fixed, because on all of these meds, they ALL worked to some degree... but only for short periods of time. i've felt what it feels like to be normal (both because of the meds and before all this started happening), not tired, able to concentrate on things, able to remember things, able to finish projects... and how i feel right now is NOT normal.





[Edited on February 10, 2008 at 9:54 PM. Reason : tww is a fucking blog, okay?]

2/10/2008 9:52:34 PM

[/blog]

2/10/2008 9:53:34 PM

WARNING: [words] [blog]

2/10/2008 9:54:21 PM

Meditation and yoga have been shown to help focus.

2/10/2008 9:54:29 PM

WORDs

2/10/2008 9:55:24 PM

keep taking various meds

2/10/2008 9:56:34 PM

i knew i could count on tww to offer useful and constructive suggestions

maybe this would have been better suited for the lounge

although i hardly ever post there, it scares me.

2/10/2008 9:57:29 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trepanation

2/10/2008 9:58:10 PM

but my meninges are fine...

2/10/2008 9:58:52 PM

thyroid?

2/10/2008 9:59:22 PM

already checked, perfectly normal :\

2/10/2008 10:01:30 PM

well you had enough focus to post this blog. You must be doing great.

on a serious note, I hope you find something that works.

2/10/2008 10:02:03 PM

I use a very small dose of adderall to help with my ADHD-PI
10 mg twice a day, though I usually only take the first dose

the meds aren't going to be some magic fix
it takes lots of effort to alter patterns of behavior

meditation is a probably a good idea... its always good to take time to reflect each day
if you have access I hear that biofeedback therapy is really good at improving attention - though I haven't had the chance to experience it

2/10/2008 10:06:26 PM

Quote :

"6. Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework)."

posting on tww is mindless entertainment and doesn't require any thought at all

my main problem is that whenever it comes to things that require extensive cognition, my brain just sort of... shuts off... not sure how to explain it. i know that's normal to some degree with everyone, but it doesn't seem to be debilitating to the majority of people. in my case, it is.

it's really frustrating because i know that i'm intelligent enough to complete such tasks. when it's a day where any given medication is working, i do everything well - a cycle of those days happened to fall on the day before and the day of an organic II exam - i got a 96 on it. things made sense. i felt like i could learn things and understand them, and, obviously, i could.

as it is now, without the medication working, i can study for hours and hours, reading over and over... staring at pages and diagrams... but i don't actually learn or remember a damn thing.

i have the capacity to do exceptionally well in school, that's been proven many times over at various times throughout this whole ordeal.

2/10/2008 10:07:42 PM

MORE WERDS!

2/10/2008 10:08:39 PM

yay! words!

2/10/2008 10:10:03 PM

for serious

2/10/2008 10:12:18 PM

tww should start charging by the word

2/10/2008 10:15:28 PM

2/10/2008 10:24:59 PM

how many fucking times are you gonna post about this shit

i honestly have to check the dates on your posts because i keep thinking this same damn thing is getting bttt'd

2/10/2008 10:26:50 PM

its different each time

i should probably just use one thread but i can never find them by searching

2/10/2008 10:30:22 PM

i think the solution is to do heroine

2/10/2008 10:34:38 PM

that is an excellent solution

2/10/2008 10:34:57 PM

heroine?

2/10/2008 10:35:38 PM

Quote :

"i think the solution is to do heroine"

i always feel great when i get the girl

2/10/2008 10:37:02 PM

yes, heroine, i would never do heroin

2/10/2008 10:37:03 PM

am i the only person on here that doesn't take a pill or smoke or inject something on a regular basis (for pleasure or out of necessity)?

if i take an ibuprofen more than once a month, i feel like i'm relying on drugs too much

2/10/2008 10:37:12 PM

thats the other thing i hate about all this

i hate taking drugs unless i absolutely have to

2/10/2008 10:37:44 PM

yeah, i'm not criticizing...i just didn't realize that so many people were on meds

2/10/2008 10:38:55 PM

it's all in your head

2/10/2008 10:39:52 PM

Quote :

"am i the only person on here that doesn't take a pill or smoke or inject something on a regular basis (for pleasure or out of necessity)?"

Your not alone,I don't take any pills or anything on a regular basis. I get the same feeling of dirtiness if i have to take some prescription medication for something like ADD. I think alot of the people who are diagnosied with ADD don't really have it and just need to shut up and study.



I do take a multivitamin and a glucoseamen OTC pill just to keep healthy but i don't depend on them in anyway.

2/10/2008 10:45:45 PM

Quote :

"I think alot of the people who are diagnosied with ADD don't really have it and just need to shut up and study."

lawl

it's opposition like this that i was referring to

2/10/2008 10:50:04 PM

hehe "diagnosied"

2/10/2008 10:53:05 PM

I think most people don't need. I bet you i could walk into the doctor's office tomorrow and tell them i think i have ADD. They would give some sort of easy test and i would end up walking out with a prescription. From what i've seen most people don't need it they just need to shut up and study. I think most people use it as an excuse to why they fail at something. There are some people who really do need it but i think those people are very few and far between.

2/10/2008 10:59:35 PM

i understand about that

and yes, it's shockingly easy to obtain ADHD meds... it's kinda scary, in fact...

but for those of us who actually see marked benefit from them and are debilitated in a significant way without them...

2/10/2008 11:05:48 PM

this shit is all just gateway drugz, b.

heroina and cocaine are in your future

along with jenkems

2/10/2008 11:18:11 PM

i have the same problems. adderall seems to help sometimes, but i never remember to take it. when i do take it, it's after i've already wasted half the day (or more) doing absolutely nothing.

2/11/2008 1:18:31 AM

Evan

Draw two lines on a chalkboard approximately 12 inches apart in the horizontal.

Make sure that your eyes match the space between the two lines

that is, when you look straight, you can identify the top line as being above your dome and the bottom line as being below your chin.

Proceed to bash your skull between those two lines until the pain stops.

2/11/2008 1:23:15 AM

2/11/2008 5:00:01 PM

I haven't read the entire thread, but:

Quote :

"the same thing happened when i was on antidepressants - they worked fine for like a week or so, then i didn't feel anything at all from them. i tried lexapro, cymbalta, effexor, and wellbutrin... ugh."

doesn't make sense unless you're having a placebo effect.

The real effect of SSRIs doesn't occur until 2-4 weeks after you start taking them, once the receptor #s have had time to adjust. An initial effect within the first week has sometimes been noted, but this is considered to probably be placebo-related rather than pharmacologic.

2/11/2008 5:04:00 PM

yeah, i thought the same thing.

maybe i haven't given anything long enough to work.

although dopamine reuptake inhibitors should be pretty immediate...

2/11/2008 5:09:37 PM

Self-medicating is never a good idea. just follow the rx and it should do you good.

2/11/2008 6:31:05 PM

sometimes i start wondering if the wellbutrin i take is still doing anything for me--then i stop taking it for a few days and it's like, "oh yeah, this is how i used to feel"

2/11/2008 6:57:52 PM

i'm not reading the thread but have you tried good ol adderal? it made my ass f'ing wired and attentive as i've ever been in my life, ever. it was great but it made it too hard for me to sleep and i ended up making myself sick if i took it consistently

2/11/2008 7:05:45 PM

if 140mg of D-amphetamine didn't have you ready to grind your teeth away and run around, then my first guess is that you have another underlying condition that is causing your tiredness.

Do you feel like you're getting a good night's rest when you sleep, or do you wake up more tired than when you went to bed? Do you remember dreaming at all?

2/11/2008 7:17:19 PM

I really doubt he hits REM sleep.

2/11/2008 7:27:57 PM

Yeah, me too. You mention a sleep study and your doc wanting the results quicker? What were the results? it sounds like either you have a really fucked up routine and because of that are not getting as good of sleep as you could be and/or have some sort of sleep apnea. i'm sure you already knew this though.

i used to be comparable to you with always being tired no matter how much sleep I got until I started going to bed/getting up at very consistent times, then it got a lot better. I always go to bed at 11 and always get up at 6 and I'm fine... but back in college sometimes I'd go to bed at 9 and still couldn't get up and not be shitty tired at 7.

anyways--basically i dont think drugs are going to do anything except cover up the symptoms for a few days... if those high doses aren't doing the trick for longer than a few days then i'd look else where...

so yea, what were results of the sleep study?

[Edited on February 11, 2008 at 7:51 PM. Reason : ignore my post about adderal--didn't click that you were taking d-amphetamie]

2/11/2008 7:45:07 PM

You need to PM me.

This fatigue you speak of, just how bad is it? Tired after 14 hours of hauling 300lb bitches into ambulances, or wondering if you really need pee because walking across the room seems like too much effort right now.

Did it start the same time as the ADHD symptoms?

Anything else? Dizziness, strange sensations, etc?

2/11/2008 8:39:55 PM

Quote :

"am i the only person on here that doesn't take a pill or smoke or inject something on a regular basis (for pleasure or out of necessity)?"

I haven't taken any prescription drug in the last 10 years.

2/11/2008 9:19:33 PM

I know I hit REM and still want to sleep for 14+ hours a day

2/11/2008 9:23:17 PM