http://notalwaysright.com

5/28/2008 5:01:58 AM

and gain it back at http://www.euphalo.com

5/28/2008 5:14:33 AM

Quote :

" Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.” Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…” Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ” Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.” Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.” (Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.) Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?” Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.” Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?” Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.” Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.” Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.” Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?” Me: “We do not sell internet.” Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?” Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?” Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.” Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?” Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.” Me: *head explodes* "

LOL

5/28/2008 5:18:29 AM

Quote :

" Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.” Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager now!” Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!” Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.” Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!” Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?” (She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.) Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See right here! Where any child could see!” Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.” Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?” Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?” Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!” Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it, seriously.” Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!” Manager: “Right…real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have internet access?” Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?” Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.” "

5/28/2008 5:29:43 AM

Quote :

"Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?” Customer: “Yes, I received a card in the mail that said I should call you.” Me: “Oh, you’re interested in our free design consultation? I’d be more than happy to set one up for you.” Customer: “No, I don’t want anything like that. It just told me to call.” Me: “So you’d like a free estimate for new floors?” Customer: “No! The card you sent me in the mail! It said to call you, so I’m calling you! Why do you want me to call you?!”"

5/28/2008 5:40:14 AM

Quote :

" Customer: “So it says ‘message sent’…does that mean it’s been sent?” Me: “Yep.” Customer: “Oh okay. So they should receive that, then?” Me: “Yep.” Customer: “Okay. And I mean, if they received it, will they get back to me right away?” Me: “Well, it depends how long it takes them.” Customer: “Oh. So how do I know if it’s sent?” Me: “It says ‘message sent’ on the screen.” Customer: “Oh okay. So when should I expect a reply?” Me: “…” (Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time this routine has been carried out, with the same person.) "

5/28/2008 5:41:56 AM

This reminds me of when I was working at a call center handling incoming calls at a pharmaceutical company. I had one lady call and basically demand that I walk her though fixing her computer since her email wasn't working and she was trying to email us. She didn't even work for the company, she was just emailing to get information about a product.

Every time I suggested a REASONABLE place for her to get help she was like, "Oh no, you can't get out of it like that. I am trying to email YOU, so you need to fix my email!"

5/28/2008 10:09:32 AM

I remember one about Dell customer.

A customer called Dell customer service about an issue with the cup tray. Apparently He was using the cd drive as cup holder and now it does not open and hold his coffee anymore.

[Edited on May 28, 2008 at 10:22 AM. Reason : apparently]

5/28/2008 10:21:29 AM

Doesn't the tray go back in automatically after a few minutes if you leave it out? That could be kind of funny...

5/28/2008 10:40:18 AM

I work for the Division of Marine Fisheries in Florida. I had a fisherman call about three weeks ago. The convo went something like this:

Quote :

" Me: "Marine Fisheries, this is Ryan, how can I help you?" Morris: "My name's Morris and I'm out of Dania Beach. I've been fishing here for three days now and haven't caught anything." Me: "Well that stinks, sir, I'm sorry to hear that." Morris: "Stinks? Stinks? It's your fault!" Me: "I can't possibly see how, but please elaborate." Morris: "You government people are hiding all the fish!" Me: "Where would we hide the fish, sir?" Morris: "I don't know, probably in some underground bunker somewhere." Me: "I see. Morris, I'm going to need some info from you about your last three days of fishing. I would like to know where you were off of Dania Beach, what you were fishing for, what bait you were using, and what sort of refreshments you were drinking to keep hydrated out on the water." Morris: "I was fishing out of sight of land for crappies and bass on my Ranger, with night crawlers, bread, and worm jigs for baits. Me and my wife drink beer, not martinis like some of those other pussies." Me: "Morris, where are you from originally?" Morris: "Arkansas." Me: "Morris, you know that bass and crappie don't live in the ocean, right?" Morris: "Horseshit! You're just trying to hide the fish again!" Me: "Have a good day Morris, and be sure not to take your bass boat offshore if the seas are over one foot." "

I had four margaritas at lunch that day.

[Edited on May 28, 2008 at 11:08 AM. Reason : ]

5/28/2008 11:05:45 AM

^ funny

5/28/2008 11:20:21 AM

Quote :

" Customer: “Excuse me, but I ordered the vegetable soup!” Me: “Yes ma’am, I know.” Customer: “I don’t see ANY vegetables in this!” Me: “Ma’am, that’s because it’s your coffee.” Customer: “Oh.” (She was surprisingly nice for the rest of meal and left a hefty tip.) "

5/28/2008 11:49:22 AM

A LOT of these entries read like bad e-mail forwards.

5/28/2008 12:30:11 PM

Quote :

" Me: “What can I get you?” Customer: “I want coffee, but I don’t want any caffeine in it.” Me: “So you want decaffeinated coffee?” Customer: “No, I want regular coffee. I also want you to take the caffeine out of it.” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to buy decaf if you don’t want any caffeine.” Customer: “Just gimme that coffee, and make sure to take the caffeine out.” (She turns her back for a moment to rummage through her purse. I pour her a cup of decaf anyway.) Me: “Here you go, ma’am!” Customer: “Did you take the caffeine out?” Me: “Yep!” "

5/28/2008 11:58:21 PM

haha cute site

5/29/2008 12:09:14 AM

http://notalwaysright.com/taking-this-out-of-context-could-be-bad/92

I'm on page 62

5/29/2008 12:12:04 AM

Mmm, one or two of those things gives me chills. Retail is not a fun business. Retail combined with tech support is a business that deals with a high rate of employee turnover (and were it not such an easy decision to quit (i.e. if the pay was better) it might just end up having a higher rate of suicides).

K, it's my turn to pick one to quote.

Quote :

"(I was called by the cashier to help an elderly lady out to her car. As I was loading the trunk, she says…) Elderly Customer: “How do you say it? Muchas gracious?” Me: “Um, I’m not Hispanic.” Elderly Customer: “Oh, really? Where are you from?” Me: “I’m actually from Bangladesh.” Elderly Customer: “Really? Is that near Mexico?” Me: “No… it’s actually right next to India.” Elderly Customer: “Oh, I see…” (I finish loading her trunk.) Elderly Customer: “Thanks and aaadios!” Me: “…”"

I DO get a kick out of it when people get their geography and cultural knowledge all messed up. I would have a hard time not just laughing at the lady.

[Edited on May 29, 2008 at 12:18 AM. Reason : Thanks and aaadios!]

5/29/2008 12:12:38 AM

Quote :

"Wife: *pointing to a headboard* “Do you have this in stock?” Me: “Give me just one minute, and I can go check that for you.” Husband: “But before you do that, what is it?” Wife: “I was wondering that too.” Me: “It’s a headboard.” Husband: “But what IS it?” Me: “It’s a headboard. For your bed. You attach it to the top.” Wife: “But what does it do?” Me: “It makes your bed look nice.” Wife: “But does it DO anything?” Me: “Makes your bed look pretty?” Husband: “But WHY?” Me: “Some people like the added touch.” Wife: “But why should WE buy it?” Me: “If you think it would look nice in your room, then it would be a great addition to your decor.” Wife: “You still haven’t told me what it does.” Me: “Um, it helps your bed match the color scheme of your room.” Husband: “What’s a color scheme?” Wife: “Does that have something to do with carpets?” Me: “Um…kind of. Carpets, curtains, bedspread, furniture. People generally like them to match. The overall color is called the color scheme.” Wife: “Oh. I had heard of that, but no one ever told me what it was.” Husband: “So we would need a real bed for this?” Me: “Well what do you have?” Husband: “A futon.” Me: “A headboard wouldn’t work with that.” Wife: “So I can’t get this?” Me: “Well you could, but you wouldn’t be able to use it with your bed.” Wife: “Why not?” Me: “It only attaches to a regular mattress bed frame.” Wife: “Oh. But what does it do?” Me: “Let me go find someone that can better help you.” (I ran off to find my manager because I couldn’t contain the laughter anymore. It took her 15 minutes to explain to them what exactly a headboard was, and why you couldn’t use it with a futon. We’re pretty sure they still didn’t really get it.)"

5/29/2008 12:19:56 AM

Quote :

" Customer: “So the pork…is that like, fish?” Me: “Noo…it’s like, pig.” Customer: “Oh.” "

5/29/2008 12:25:22 AM

Quote :

" Me: “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” 9-1-1 caller: “My phone’s been shut off and the only number I can call is 9-1-1.” Me: “Are you calling about your phone being shut off or do you have an emergency?” 9-1-1 caller: “My phone. I paid my bill. It should be working.” Me: “You’ll have to take that up with the phone company.” 9-1-1 caller: “Well, can you tell them to turn it back on? I paid my bill.” Me: “No, you’ll need to contact them. This is the police department and this is an emergency line. I’m going to have to disconnect the call. You need to contact the phone company to get your phone turned back on.” 9-1-1 caller: “But my phone’s not working! I need it fixed now!” Me: “I’m sorry. This is the police department. We can’t fix your phone. You’ll need to hang up and contact your phone company. We can’t do anything about your phone.” 9-1-1 caller: “Well that’s not right! I need help. My phone isn’t working and what if I need it? What if I have an emergency?” Me: “You just dialed 9-1-1.” "

5/29/2008 12:50:55 AM

Quote :

"Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t drive to Catalina Island.” Customer: “You can’t?” Me: “No, it’s an island. You know, surrounded by water.” Customer: “Catalina Island is an ISLAND?!”"

5/29/2008 1:06:21 AM

Quote :

"Customer: “Do you have a picture book of dinosaurs?” Me: “Sure.” (We walk to the dinosaur books and I show him many books with various sketches and paintings of dinosaurs) Customer: “No, not pictures…PHOTOGRAPHS. Photos of dinosaurs, please. Where are those?” "

5/29/2008 1:10:55 AM

Quote :

"Girl: “I need this book, it’s called… something like Ode to Pus or something.” Me: “Ode… to Pus?” Girl: “Yeah its by some guy named So-fo-Kulls?” Me:“You mean… you need to read Oedipus by Sophocles?” Girl: “Yeah, yeah. Ode to Pus by that guy.” (I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.)"

5/29/2008 1:14:32 AM

Quote :

" Lady: “How many slices come on the 8-inch pizza?” Waiter: “Well usually we cut it into 6, but we can make it four, or eight or ten. Whatever you want.” Lady: “Better just make it six…I don’t think I can eat more than six slices.” "

LOVE mathtards

5/29/2008 1:16:43 AM

Quote :

" Me: “Anything else I can get for you today?” Female Customer: “Oh yeah! I need batteries?” Customer’s Boyfriend: “What do you need batteries for?” Female Customer: “I just need batteries, ok?” Me: “D Cells?” Female Customer: “Yeah…” Customer’s Boyfriend: “But really, what do you need batteries for?” "

5/29/2008 1:25:55 AM

Quote :

"Pizza Customer: “I ordered a pizza, half pepperoni, half sausage … and half plain.” Me: “Lady, there’s only two halves in a whole.” Pizza Customer: “I know there are only two halves in a whole! I’m a lawyer; this treatment is unfair and I demand satisfaction!” "

5/29/2008 1:28:42 AM

^ HAHAhahahaha...

5/29/2008 1:28:43 AM

I have to stop though i don't want to. too sleepy.

5/29/2008 1:31:07 AM

Quote :

" (The office downstairs sometimes calls up to us for tech support. They’re not too great with computers.) Guy from downstairs: “I think one of the computers has a virus.” Me: “Ok, which one?” Guy: “The one in the middle of the office.” (This seems strange, as I remember that they don’t have any computers in the middle of the room.) Me: “Have you moved the computers recently?” Guy: “Yeah, we put it in the middle of the office so the other computers wouldn’t catch the virus!” (I went downstairs and a disconnected desktop stands in all its glory in the middle of the room. It didn’t have a virus.) "

5/29/2008 1:37:31 AM

Waaaaaaaay too much funny shit on this site. Need to go to bed.

5/29/2008 2:30:43 AM

Quote :

"Just Another Day In Stonerville Sandwich Delivery | Chicago, IL, USA I work at a gourmet sandwich company. We can make sandwiches for delivery, pickup, or sit-down. We often get calls from a lot of stoners that want their sandwiches delivered. Probably for “munchies.” It’s about 4pm on Saturday when I get this call. Me: “Welcome to Jimmy John’s, this is Molly. How can I help you?” Stoner 1: “Hey…yeah…” Me: “How can I help you today, sir?” Stoner 1: “What?” Me: “Would you like to order something?” Stoner 1: “Yes…” (After about two minutes of silence…) Me: “Hello? Are you still there, sir?” Stoner 1: “Yeah, I’m waiting for you to like, ask me what I want.” Me: “…Okay, what would you like?” Stoner 1: *tells me his order* Me: “Would you like anything else with that?” Stoner 1: “Yeah… get me a cookie.” (At this point, I hear a plethora of other stoners in the background.) Stoner 2: “Cookies!? Where?” Stoner 1: *laughing* “Dude, I’m on the phone with the cookie company!” (Now I can hear Stoner 2 grab the phone and he begins talking to me.) Stoner 2: “Hey, cookie company? Make that two cookies!” Stoner 3: “Four cookies! I want two!” Stoner 2: “SIX COOKIES!” Me *trying not to laugh* “Okay, sir, will that be all?” Stoner 2: “Yeahhhhhh.” Me: “Will that be for pickup or delivery?” Stoner 2: “Delivery…” *gives address* Stoner 1: “DUDE, WHAT IF SHE’S A NARC?” Stoner 2: “Sh*t! You know that address I just gave you? I lied about it!” (Now I decide to have a little fun with them, considering they wasted my time.) Me: “Okay, but as a little treat, I’m going to have it delivered anyway. My car will be the one with red and blue flashing lights that reads P-O-L-I-C-E on the side.” Stoner 2: “A car with lights? That’s awesome!” Stoner 1: “Dude, she means the police!” Stoner 2: “SH*T!” *click* (We ended up delivering to them anyway, because TECHNICALLY they never canceled their order. Our delivery guy came back with the full order, telling us that someone answered the door to tell him no one was home.) "

5/29/2008 3:50:34 PM

^ ahahahaha

5/29/2008 3:58:08 PM

Quote :

"(I work for an internet billing company that mostly does work with porn sites.) Me: “Thank you for calling *** Consumer Support. How can I help you?” Customer: “Yeah, I got some charges on my card, and I wanna know what the hell’s goin’ on.” Me: “No problem sir. If I can get the card number, I’ll be happy to help out.” (He gives me his card, and I go through the process of looking it up and getting his info.) Me: “Alright sir, it looks like I have a subscription here to pornking.com. Is that familiar?” Customer: “Yeah, I know that. Hold on a sec. RANDY!!!” (I hear him shouting at someone in the background, and then the sounds of someone getting the ever-loving crap beaten out of them.) Customer: “Alright, I done took care of the charges. Can you cancel that for me?” Me: “… sure. I’ve canceled it from further billing now for you.” Customer: “Alright, you have a nice day.” *click*"

5/29/2008 3:59:40 PM

Quote :

"(I’ve just finished setting up this individual’s service call to get a technician out to his house. I flub a few words, because it’s 2 in the morning.) Me: “So the technician will be out sometime between 8 and 6 pm next Tuesday, then.” Customer: “Is this call center located in The United States of America?” Me: “Actually, we’re outsourced. I’m in Canada.” Customer: “BECAUSE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 6 COMES BEFORE 8 YOU STUPID F**K. BE HAPPY THAT I DON’T DISCONNECT MY SERVICE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS, YOU G***D**N FOREIGNER!” Me: “…thank you for calling, have a great day!” Customer: *hangs up*"

5/29/2008 4:03:56 PM

Quote :

"I Goes To Skool Retail | Baltimore, MD, USA (A girl in her late teens approaches me holding a t-shirt, turning it over in her hands, apparently searching for defects or blemishes in the material.) Customer: “Do you have any of these that are new?” Me: “I’m sorry? They’re all new.” Customer: “No, this one is used. I want a new one.” (I take the shirt and inspect it, finding it to be in perfect order.) Me: “It looks perfectly fine to me. I unpacked these from today’s shipment an hour ago. We have multiples of each size if you’d like me to help you find another one.” Customer: “I checked them all. They’re all used, see…” (She snatches the shirt and points at the tag which reads, under the bar code, “USD $14.99?.) Me: “That’s the currency. United States Dollars.” Customer, becoming irate: “I can f**king see that. Fifteen dollars for a used shirt is f**king retarded.” Me: “No. U-S-D. United States Dollars. We don’t sell used clothing.” Customer: “What are you, a f**king idiot? It says you do, right on the d**n tag.” Me: “My mistake. Here, I’ll take that and make sure it gets thrown away.” (I take the shirt and begin walking to the stock room.) Customer: “Can I just have it? You’re going to throw it out anyway.” Me: “Sorry, no. There’s an IQ requirement.” Customer: “A what?” Me: “It’s an acronym thing. Don’t worry about it.” Customer: “You’re a f**king a**hole!” (She storms out.) "

5/31/2008 5:19:04 PM

Quote :

" Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.” Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…” Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ” Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.” Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.” (Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.) Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?” Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.” Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?” Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.” Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.” Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.” Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?” Me: “We do not sell internet.” Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?” Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?” Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.” Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?” Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.” Me: *head explodes*"

That's awesome, because when I was doing tech support for at&t dsl people would call in with fucked up computers and demand that we fix their internet because their computer takes 15 minutes to load up.

5/31/2008 5:24:19 PM

entertaining as these may be, I can't help but wonder how many of them are completely made up

then again, knowing the general public, I'm sure it's a very low percentage

5/31/2008 5:28:23 PM

Quote :

"Girl: “I need this book, it’s called… something like Ode to Pus or something.” Me: “Ode… to Pus?” Girl: “Yeah its by some guy named So-fo-Kulls?” Me:“You mean… you need to read Oedipus by Sophocles?” Girl: “Yeah, yeah. Ode to Pus by that guy.” (I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.)"

haha, my 9th grade English teacher pronounced it as "EAT A PUSS." No lie. Telling that to a bunch of 14 year olds is a great idea.

5/31/2008 5:34:15 PM

Quote :

"Lady: “How many slices come on the 8-inch pizza?” Waiter: “Well usually we cut it into 6, but we can make it four, or eight or ten. Whatever you want.” Lady: “Better just make it six…I don’t think I can eat more than six slices."

That's a Yogi Berra joke.

5/31/2008 5:35:16 PM

This one tickled my funny bone:

Quote :

" Me: “Thank you for calling, how can I help you?” Customer: “Hi, I’d like a personal pan pizza for my son.” Me: “I’m sorry sir, we’re all out of personal pans for the day. Can I get you something else?” Customer: “No! I guess my son will just have to go ahead and STARVE!” Me: “…” "

5/31/2008 5:52:31 PM

Quote :

"(I get a lot of funny calls, and most of the time, I can stay calm and professional through the call. This is the only one I’ve had where I needed to hit the ‘mute’ button. Thankfully, he was talking about the website–I eventually needed to dispatch a tech.) Me: “Thanks for calling Internet Tech Support, Emily speaking.” Customer: “Yeah, I was looking at this porn site, and now I can’t get it up anymore.” Me: “…”"

6/4/2008 5:41:37 PM

Quote :

"(We sell milk for 2.99 a gallon. Some kid pulled the “.” and the “9? off so it says 29 dollars. Not surprisingly, a lady comes in to buy a gallon and hands me thirty dollars.) Me: “Ma’am, you just gave me a twenty and 10 singles to buy milk. It’s only $2.99.” Lady: “Well that’s not what the sign says! it says 29 dollars!” Me: “But ma’am, you’re paying more money than it actually costs.” Lady: “I don’t care how much it costs! Just do your job and give me my f**king milk for 29 dollars!” Me: “Okay, If that’s what you want…” *gives her a dollar back* Lady: “Thank you! If you had just done your job I would’ve been out of here by now!” Me: “Have a great day!”"

[Edited on June 10, 2008 at 4:34 PM. Reason : .]

6/10/2008 4:34:22 PM

this makes me feel slightly better about my job.....

guess my boss isnt the biggest idiot in the world after all

6/10/2008 5:10:52 PM

Quote :

"(I was a cashier and father and young son were in line.) Son: “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff!” Dad: “Yeah, I might have to sell your bike to pay for it all.” Son: “Noooo, not my bike!” Dad: *laughs* “No, I wouldn’t sell your bike for food. Although, I might sell it for beer…”"

6/15/2008 6:50:40 PM

Quote :

"(A mom and little girl are waiting in line. I watch from a different line.) Little Girl: “Can I have this candy?” Mom: “No, put it back.” Little Girl: “But that’s not fair! That’s not fair!” Mom: “Cut that out!” Little Girl: *takes a deep breath and calms down, then turns to her mom* “I’m killing you. I’m going to kill you.” Mom: “…”"

6/21/2008 2:25:07 PM

Quote :

" (My pizza place recently stopped accepting checks, due to a large number of returned checks. We have a large sign in the lobby, and a smaller sign at the register.) Customer: “What?! I can’t write a check?” Me: “I’m sorry, we no longer accept checks. We simply get too many returned for insufficient funds.” Customer: ”But I was going to write a check…” Me: ”We accept credit cards, or you can use your debit card for that checking account.” Customer: ”I can’t use my debit card! I don’t have enough money in my account!” (And THAT is why we no longer take checks!) "

6/21/2008 2:31:41 PM

Quote :

"How About Your Husband Buy You A Brain Film Processing Lab | Bay Area, California Woman: “Your f***ing machine won’t accept my memory card from my camera!” Me: “That’s very strange ma’am, as our machines accept all of the memory cards that I’ve ever heard of.” Woman: “Well, your machines are obviously old! My husband bought me an EXPENSIVE camera, because I only like the best! You people need to get better machines! My memory card won’t even FIT in any of the slots!” Me: “May I see your memory card? Maybe I can figure out what’s wrong.” (Woman hands me her memory card huffily.) Me: “Um… ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is your camera battery.” Woman: “…” (She snatches her battery out of my hands and storms out of the store.) "

6/21/2008 2:31:52 PM

Quote :

"Me: “Hello, ma’am. How may I help you?” Woman: “Oh, when is your baby due?” Me: “I’m not pregnant, ma’am, just fat.” Woman: “That’s very rude, you know. Pretending to be pregnant just so people can be nice to you!” Me: *gritting teeth* “I am not pretending anything, ma’am, I promise you. Now, how may I help you?” Woman: “No! You are a liar, and I am going somewhere where non-lying people can help me!” Me: “Thank you ma’am, and have a nice day.” Woman: “LIAR!” "

6/21/2008 2:44:48 PM

Quote :

"(I work at a fast food restaurant and was taking money. My co-worker was taking drive-thru orders right beside me.) Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to ***. What can I get for you today?” Customer: “Give me one ranch wrap. That’s all.” Coworker: “Would you like your wrap crispy or grill?” Customer: “No, I want it ranch.” Coworker: “Yes, but would you like the chicken crispy or grilled?” Customer: “RANCH!” Coworker: “CRISPY OR GRILLED?” Customer: “LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE SH–oh, um, crispy…” "

6/21/2008 2:50:07 PM

Quote :

"One Gets You High Speed, The Other Just Gets You High Tech Support | Iceland Coworker: “Tech support, how can I help you?” Customer: “I need LSD for my son. You have that, right?” Coworker: “Uh?” Customer: “You know, that high speed internet thing…” Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “You mean DSL?” "

6/21/2008 2:59:32 PM