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sylvershadow
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Once again, I will regale the denizens of TWW with a tale of my relationship woes.

So, 5 weeks ago, I meet a guy, go out with him a few times and we have an awesome time, and then he leaves for Atlanta for 3 weeks. We talk online alot during those 3 weeks, and call eachother once in a while, and he finally comes back last Monday, and once again we're having an awesome time with each other. We seem to have alot in common, and one night I ask him if we're officially dating. He says he needs to think about it and get to know me better. Ok. Not a great sign, but not terrible, but I figure it could be guy code for not being that into me, so I write about it on myspace. He reads it and I go to his place to hang out with him and ask what his thoughts were on my post. He says, no it wasn't guy code, he really does like me, but he has to be honest with me and say he doesn't want an exclusive relationship. And he knows I'm the jealous type, tho he doesn't believe me. So I'm like, nope this isn't going to work for me then. I think you're awesome but I want a relationship that has a chance of being something, and I want exclusivity. Can't do the open relationship thing, so I leave pretty soon. He gets really upset and calls me a couple hours later. We talk, and he really doesn't want to give me up yet, thinks we can compromise somehow, blah blah blah.
So I'm torn. I want to give us a chance, but if he already knows he'll want to sleep with other people in a few months.... if he really doesn't want fidelity in a relationship, should I even try? Is there a chance that if we worked out he'd be willing to commit to me??

YEah drama.

hoorah.

8/10/2008 8:24:04 PM

cheezitman
All American
1245 Posts
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did yall do it

8/10/2008 8:25:20 PM

TenaciousC
All American
6307 Posts
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first

would have been first if I didn't actually read the whole post

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:25 PM. Reason : ]

8/10/2008 8:25:22 PM

sawahash
All American
35321 Posts
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aw fuck.

8/10/2008 8:25:26 PM

The Dude
All American
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nope

move on

8/10/2008 8:25:35 PM

aaronburro
Sup, B
53049 Posts
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no. he's a pig. [/thread]

8/10/2008 8:25:43 PM

sylvershadow
All American
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yeah we did it. it was great too.

8/10/2008 8:25:57 PM

JK
All American
6839 Posts
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Sounds fishy. If I like a girl enough, I'd certainly agree to an exclusive relationship.

8/10/2008 8:25:59 PM

BigMan157
no u
103354 Posts
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how the fuck do you compromise on something like that?

yeah baby i'll only drilltip 2 other bitches a month instead of 4. What can i say, i'm a giver.

8/10/2008 8:26:31 PM

pilgrimshoes
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look i didnt come to tww to read

8/10/2008 8:26:38 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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why do women think we like when they post shit about us on myspace?

8/10/2008 8:26:46 PM

Str8Foolish
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Some people aren't ready for commitment what about this is hard to understand

8/10/2008 8:27:02 PM

JK
All American
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^^also that

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:27 PM. Reason : ^]

8/10/2008 8:27:14 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
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I find the whole myspace angle to be the crux of your problem

why even bring that into the equation ?

8/10/2008 8:28:35 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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especially when you guys weren't even serious yet. nothing will scare me away quicker than a chick that talks about me on MySpace when we have only been out on a few dates.

8/10/2008 8:30:16 PM

sylvershadow
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He's like anti-marriage and exclusive relationships with anyone tho. He says there's too much to learn from other people and other relationships.

And I can see if you're commited to one person and yall eventually decide to have an open relationship after years or something, but even then.... but to come right out and say it at the beginning.

bleh.


He says he's willing to be exclusive with me, but he can't promise he won't want to sleep with other women.

Myspace-- Just because I wanted to know if he was into me or just playing me. And turns out it was both?!!

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:31 PM. Reason : sdf]

8/10/2008 8:30:28 PM

JK
All American
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Quote :
"He says he's willing to be exclusive with me, but he can't promise he won't want to sleep with other women."


lol wut

8/10/2008 8:31:45 PM

BigMan157
no u
103354 Posts
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Quote :
"he can't promise he won't want to sleep with other women"


can any dude that's not all about gobbling some knob promise that?

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:33 PM. Reason : i mean really now]

8/10/2008 8:32:43 PM

drunknloaded
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Quote :
"so I write about it on myspace"




Quote :
"and ask what his thoughts were on my post"




[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:33 PM. Reason : .]

8/10/2008 8:32:53 PM

Str8Foolish
All American
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Quote :
"He's like anti-marriage and exclusive relationships with anyone tho."


Then cut your losses and move on?

There's not a damn thing wrong with this guy he's being up front with you about everything. Stop crying. If he's not what you want then find somebody else.

8/10/2008 8:32:57 PM

Republican18
All American
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i really don feel bad for women bitching about not being able to get a man. women have it easy.

8/10/2008 8:33:59 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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Quote :
"Myspace-- Just because I wanted to know if he was into me or just playing me. And turns out it was both?!! play a childish chick game rather than just talk to him"

8/10/2008 8:34:08 PM

sylvershadow
All American
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yeah, but he's so fucking awesome in every other way

8/10/2008 8:34:14 PM

Gøldengirl
All American
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Go get this book. Read it. Save yourself and move on.

8/10/2008 8:34:54 PM

Str8Foolish
All American
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^ Holy fucking shit get out of here with that rubbish

Why don't you just enjoy him for what he is, then? Are you in some sort of rush?

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:36 PM. Reason : .]

8/10/2008 8:35:34 PM

sylvershadow
All American
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yeah, but that was a good way to bring it up. The post wasn't bad otherwise

8/10/2008 8:35:42 PM

mcfluffle
All American
11291 Posts
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jesus christ


quit fucking dudes you meet on the subway

8/10/2008 8:36:08 PM

sylvershadow
All American
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^^^^ I would like to, but I do want a committed relationship. I don't want to go thru a bunch of bullshit. I want to know there's a possibility for it to be serious.

subway=okcupid?

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:37 PM. Reason : sdf]

8/10/2008 8:36:59 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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i guess I am just jaded because the last chick I went out with took a bunch of pictures of us on our FIRST DATE and posted them all over her myspace page. changed her "about me" section to talk about how she "finally met the one" etc etc. AFTER 1 DATE!

8/10/2008 8:37:06 PM

Gøldengirl
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posting about it I wouldn't say was the best thing. b/c 1. it adds more pressure 2. it was done for EVERYONE to see. 3. could be taken the wrong way since it wasn't said in person.

8/10/2008 8:37:19 PM

Str8Foolish
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Quote :
"I want to know there's a possibility for it to be serious."


He's telling you "no" so what the hell do you expect us to tell you that he hasn't, already?

How would you feel if somebody else wanted to try and trick you into being something you're not?

8/10/2008 8:38:02 PM

sylvershadow
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this is what I posted
Quote :
"

Temptations

Was awesome. The music was loud, the drink were really strong, and the crowd was lively. The guy I'm seeing, Michael, went with me, gave me an excellent flogging. My butt and thighs are sore from dancing, too
So, Mr. M. So far, so gooood. He's just about perfect. He's like me in that he looks and acts vanilla- no tattoos or piercings-- but he's kinky in a dominant way. He's smart, and honest and communicative, and sexy. Very sexy. My jealousy hasn't been kicking in much either...a little here and there, but not bad at all. It helps that most his friends are guys, and he's very good at making me feel like the hottest girl he's ever seen. So yeah, I'm pretty taken with him, but I'm worried that he may not be as taken with me...He says he wants to take it slow, not jump into the bf/gf thing and that he feels he needs to get to know me better, which may be guy code for I like you but not enough to date you *sigh* So I'm hoping for the best but trying not to get my hopes too far up. But other than that, things are going swimmingly :"

8/10/2008 8:38:43 PM

Sleik
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5 weeks ago.


seriously, that's not NEARLY enough time to become exclusive.

I'm dating a girl now, it's been almost 5 months, and neither of us want an exclusive relationship.

8/10/2008 8:38:51 PM

djeternal
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^^ yeah, that's pretty stalkerish if you ask me, especially about a guy you have only gone out with a few times.



[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:40 PM. Reason : a]

8/10/2008 8:39:45 PM

sylvershadow
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yeah, but would yall want to eventually be in an exclusive relationship? are you both seeing other people?

what's stalkerish about posting about a guy I'm seeing?

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:41 PM. Reason : s]

8/10/2008 8:39:55 PM

bottombaby
IRL
21954 Posts
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Quote :
"5 weeks ago.


seriously, that's not NEARLY enough time to become exclusive."


word.

8/10/2008 8:40:45 PM

drunknloaded
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blogger broads are so no bueno

8/10/2008 8:40:57 PM

Gøldengirl
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^^^ ya even though you don't say his name that gives away everything and prob. freaked him out. don't post stuff like that in the future. guys act weird. plus it lets them know how you feel and unless they are out there too about how they feel, they don't deserve to know unless they earn it.

8/10/2008 8:41:44 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
62661 Posts
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Quote :
"what's stalkerish about posting about a guy I'm seeing?"


well, in your own words, you guys only went out a few times. I wouldn't say you are "seeing each other", and from the sounds of his reaction, he doesn't see it that way either. If a chick I had only gone out with a couple times posted some shit like that on her myspace page, it would freak me the hell out. just letting you know that A LOT of guys don't like shit like that, makes you look desperate and in need of attention.

8/10/2008 8:42:41 PM

sylvershadow
All American
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I dunno, I like to know where I stand with a guy


When I wrote that we'd hung out 8 times. And we'd been talking daily for those 3 weeks he was gone.

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:44 PM. Reason : sd]

8/10/2008 8:42:45 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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then talk to him, don't use myspace where EVERYONE IN THE WORLD knows about it

8/10/2008 8:43:52 PM

Str8Foolish
All American
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Quote :
"guys act weird. plus it lets them know how you feel and unless they are out there too about how they feel, they don't deserve to know unless they earn it."


lol what sort of bullshit is this

8/10/2008 8:44:02 PM

drunknloaded
Suspended
147487 Posts
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^^seriously


its not hard

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:44 PM. Reason : .]

8/10/2008 8:44:11 PM

mcfluffle
All American
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give up



completely give up

8/10/2008 8:44:17 PM

alibaby
All American
8217 Posts
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Quote :
"I'm dating a girl now, it's been almost 5 months, and neither of us want an exclusive relationship."

sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship with her.

8/10/2008 8:44:34 PM

sylvershadow
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and myspace is set to friends only, and I don't see what's wrong with letting people know you like someone.

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:45 PM. Reason : sd]

8/10/2008 8:45:10 PM

QTPie
All American
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I'd let this one go -

8/10/2008 8:45:36 PM

alibaby
All American
8217 Posts
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i'm sure that there are plenty of guys out there that would be interested in an exclusive relationship with you, given the chance. don't sell yourself short or compromise your own wishes for his.

[Edited on August 10, 2008 at 8:47 PM. Reason : ]

8/10/2008 8:46:56 PM

djeternal
Bee Hugger
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The only thing worse is chicks that change their status message on MySpace like 50 times a day to update everyone on exactly how they are doing. So when the guy they like isn't returning the affection, it says something like "is wondering why boys just don't get it" or "is giving up on men". yada yada yada yada yada

8/10/2008 8:47:13 PM

jwb9984
All American
14039 Posts
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yeah you completely scared him off with the myspace stuff.

you'll scare off any guy with that.

8/10/2008 8:47:16 PM

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