This has to be true. No one in his right mind could have dreamed it up.



Funny deer story

Roping a Deer

Actual letter from someone who farms, writes well and tried this!

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it
up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should
not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to
calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,
having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having
any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out....a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw..my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around
my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just
stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the
whole rope situation. I took a step towards it..it took a step away. I put
a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you
start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger
than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down
with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at
all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly
arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks
as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to
have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between
my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like
a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope
back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have
thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when...

I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they
just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost
like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up
with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final
lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --like
a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the
best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move
towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the
back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides
being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to
run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down,

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they
do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying
there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to
crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope
to sort of even the odds.

All these events are true so help me God...

Sincerely,

Chuck O'Hearn

12/2/2008 5:09:39 PM

i'm going to need some pictures

12/2/2008 5:10:27 PM

cliffs notes?

12/2/2008 5:10:36 PM

cliff notes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNGGbozilko

12/2/2008 5:15:23 PM

guy puts a rope around a deers neck and it drags him around and beats him the fuck up when he tries to take the rope OFF its neck.

12/2/2008 5:16:34 PM

that was well worth the words
thanks for the lols

12/2/2008 5:16:42 PM

wow words

12/2/2008 5:19:36 PM

Hilarity

12/2/2008 5:19:49 PM

12/2/2008 5:21:05 PM

Dude, you're enrolled in college. Spend 2 minutes from whatever taxing work you are doing ( ) and read it. It's pretty funny.

12/2/2008 5:24:16 PM

LOL!...A++...10/10

12/2/2008 6:05:13 PM

Quote :

"Dude, you're enrolled in college. Spend 2 minutes from whatever taxing work you are doing ( ) and read it. It's pretty funny."

ATTN: USERS WITH LESS THAN 1000 100 10 posts

12/2/2008 6:06:38 PM

old

12/2/2008 6:07:48 PM

NEW TO ME

12/2/2008 6:19:22 PM

old

but fucking hilarious

12/2/2008 6:23:04 PM

12/2/2008 6:25:21 PM

Quote :

"Deer gets revenge after hunter shoots him Posted: Dec. 1, 2008 SEDALIA, Mo. — A hunter bagged a big buck on the second day of firearms season, but the kill caused him a lot of pain. Randy Goodman, 49, said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life. The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called "15 seconds of hell." The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots. Soon Goodman started feeling dizzy and noticed his vest was soaked in blood. So he reached his truck and drove to a hospital, where he received seven staples in his scalp and was treated for a slight concussion and bruises."

12/2/2008 6:25:28 PM

^ 240 lbs.!!! good god that was a big mother!

12/2/2008 6:35:03 PM

laughed a lot

12/2/2008 7:00:24 PM

old

but fucking hilarious

12/2/2008 7:06:50 PM

i have a story:

a deer was running around in the shopping center outside of the cvs i worked at in high school. i wasn't working at the time, but a buddy of mine was. he went to go look at the deer and when he opened the door the deer ran in and knocked over a bunch of shelves and shit.

12/2/2008 7:29:44 PM

This is probably the first and only time I've laughed more than once from the OP alone.

12/2/2008 7:34:10 PM

ahahahaha

12/2/2008 7:50:12 PM