This has to be true. No one in his right mind could have dreamed it up.Funny deer storyRoping a DeerActual letter from someone who farms, writes well and tried this!I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed itup on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, sincethey congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of mewhen we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at thebags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it shouldnot be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (tocalm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not havingany of it.After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out....alikely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw..myrope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope aroundmy waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still juststood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about thewhole rope situation. I took a step towards it..it took a step away. I puta little tension on the rope and then received an education.The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand therelooking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when youstart pulling on that rope.That deer EXPLODED.The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT strongerthan a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight downwith a rope and with some dignity.A deer-- no chance.That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling itand certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and starteddragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a ropewas not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many otheranimals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick tojerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a fewminutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing outof the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fedvenison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it wouldlikely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love atall between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I wouldventure a guess that the feeling was mutual.Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverlyarrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocksas it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough torecognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount ofresponsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer tohave to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in betweenmy truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of likea squeeze chute.I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my ropeback.Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would havethought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when...I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where theyjust bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almostlike a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and drawback slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method wasineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for severalminutes, but it was likely only several seconds.I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim bynow), tricked it.While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached upwith my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my finallesson in deer behavior for the day.Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on theirback feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hoovesare surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --likea horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, thebest thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive movetowards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so youcan escape.This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would notwork. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horsethat paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in theback of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besidesbeing twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned torun, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down,Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediatelyleave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What theydo instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are layingthere crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed tocrawl under the truck and the deer went away.So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scopeto sort of even the odds.All these events are true so help me God...Sincerely,Chuck O'Hearn
12/2/2008 5:09:39 PM
i'm going to need some pictures
12/2/2008 5:10:27 PM
cliffs notes?
12/2/2008 5:10:36 PM
cliff noteshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNGGbozilko
12/2/2008 5:15:23 PM
guy puts a rope around a deers neck and it drags him around and beats him the fuck up when he tries to take the rope OFF its neck.
12/2/2008 5:16:34 PM
that was well worth the wordsthanks for the lols
12/2/2008 5:16:42 PM
wow words
12/2/2008 5:19:36 PM
Hilarity
12/2/2008 5:19:49 PM
12/2/2008 5:21:05 PM
Dude, you're enrolled in college. Spend 2 minutes from whatever taxing work you are doing ( ) and read it. It's pretty funny.
12/2/2008 5:24:16 PM
LOL!...A++...10/10
12/2/2008 6:05:13 PM
12/2/2008 6:06:38 PM
old
12/2/2008 6:07:48 PM
NEW TO ME
12/2/2008 6:19:22 PM
oldbut fucking hilarious
12/2/2008 6:23:04 PM
12/2/2008 6:25:21 PM
12/2/2008 6:25:28 PM
^ 240 lbs.!!! good god that was a big mother!
12/2/2008 6:35:03 PM
laughed a lot
12/2/2008 7:00:24 PM
12/2/2008 7:06:50 PM
i have a story:a deer was running around in the shopping center outside of the cvs i worked at in high school. i wasn't working at the time, but a buddy of mine was. he went to go look at the deer and when he opened the door the deer ran in and knocked over a bunch of shelves and shit.
12/2/2008 7:29:44 PM
This is probably the first and only time I've laughed more than once from the OP alone.
12/2/2008 7:34:10 PM
ahahahaha
12/2/2008 7:50:12 PM