OK, i was hanging out with... lets call her "the girl" - girl i've been seeing for the past few weeks. and by "seeing" you know,.... you know - it's a part of the story so you gotta know what "seeing" involves... anyway, you'll see.

We were at her apartment all cuddled up on the couch, watching southpark and it was that episode where cartman got HIV, and he gave it to Kyle by injecting HIV infected blood in his mouth while he was sleeping.

Cartman has a catch phrase in the episode... whenever anyone asked him if he was sure about anything, he'd say "i'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive"

THE GIRL hadn't seen this episode, i didn't know that. So the first time someone asked cartman if he was sure, i said, in a soft voice:

"i'm HIV positive"

not thinking that there was a chance that she hadn't seen this episode! so she thought i was talking to her.. telling her i was HIV positive

whew

(meaning she would also be HIV positive)

She freaked out in her head, it wasn't until Cartman said "i'm not just sure, i'm HIV positive" (like 3 seconds later) that her heart started beating again, she took a breath, and said "OH MY GOD YOU JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME"

I caused her to believe, for 3 seconds of her life, that she had the Hi 5

2/6/2009 11:16:26 AM

5/10

[Edited on February 6, 2009 at 11:18 AM. Reason : I guess you never said it would be a good story. ]

2/6/2009 11:18:26 AM

Quote :

"cuddled up on the couch, watching southpark "

what a fucking loser

2/6/2009 11:19:58 AM

hey, it was part of the story, i said it in a pretty soft voice

2/6/2009 11:20:46 AM

the real question is: did you hit it that night?

2/6/2009 11:30:08 AM

thats the only question i want answered

2/6/2009 11:31:48 AM

hahahha good thread

[Edited on February 6, 2009 at 11:46 AM. Reason : borderline tldr but glad i made the effort]

2/6/2009 11:46:15 AM

what's funny is, is that you really do have the Hi-5

2/6/2009 11:49:23 AM

Hahaha that's pretty funny. One time I was kind of in a similar situation and I got her all hyped by telling her there was something about me that I really needed her to know. I really made it all sound serious. I was like "Before we get any more further into this relationship, there is something you need to know about me. I kind of hesitate telling girls this because I know it will scare them or weird them out, but I don't want you to get hurt in the future. There isn't really any easy way to say this... but... well... I'm Batman!"

I got hit with all kinds of pillows shortly thereafter.

2/6/2009 11:50:03 AM

classic.

2/6/2009 11:50:29 AM

^^ not funny

2/6/2009 11:55:41 AM

Quote :

"what's funny is, is that you really do have the Hi-5"

Another funny story, i got tested like all responsible people should - and I was like fucking, just test me for EVERYTHING. The nurses called me and told me i came up clean or negative for all the tests, then they asked me if I wanted the results mailed to me. I said "you know, that is a GREAT idea!"

Now I am wondering where I should put the results... should I tac them to my bedpost!?

2/6/2009 12:00:58 PM

bttt

2/6/2009 1:56:55 PM

^^hahaha. Tac that shit up in the medicine cabinet, bitches always be snoopin' there

2/6/2009 2:00:57 PM

hahaahahah....so lame, Iggy.

2/6/2009 2:39:41 PM

i'm not just sure this was a 8/10 read, i'm hiv positive

2/6/2009 2:47:54 PM

You didn't like my story?

that hurts

2/6/2009 2:50:43 PM

10/10. pure profit.

2/6/2009 2:55:17 PM

Crazy niggers

2/6/2009 2:56:46 PM

2/10 was left out since there was no bwning

2/6/2009 2:57:58 PM

The story would have been better had during those 3 seconds she breathed a sigh of relief and said "ME TOO!!!"

2/6/2009 3:04:05 PM

^^

why does bwning have to be a part of the story? It wasn't meant to be a porn.

2/7/2009 8:27:41 AM