http://omegle.com/

3/30/2009 3:39:35 PM

finally

thank you internet

3/30/2009 3:40:16 PM

he sent me dick pics as the first IM

3/30/2009 3:41:43 PM

this looks like an updated version of the aol christian chat rooms I frequented in the late 90's

im not impressed

3/30/2009 3:41:48 PM

lol

3/30/2009 3:43:30 PM

i think i'm talking to a transvestite

3/30/2009 3:45:08 PM

haha had to try it out

me: fuck you

him: fuck me? no FUCK YOU

3/30/2009 3:48:01 PM

I'm hooking up with a 17 year old chick from the uk with green eyes

[Edited on March 30, 2009 at 4:05 PM. Reason : http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/34/l_6fc94f72005745aab473e579536451b0.jpg]

3/30/2009 4:04:02 PM

haha that's me i've been impersonating her lol

3/30/2009 4:07:44 PM

I am trying to see how long i can go wo asking if I am talking to a boy or girl.

3/30/2009 4:13:39 PM

lol what does /b/ mean?

3/30/2009 4:14:01 PM

it's a fourchan thing

3/30/2009 4:14:29 PM

a/s/l

3/30/2009 4:16:17 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: RMMB? You: wtf mate You: what is rmmb? Stranger: I hate your country. Your conversational partner has disconnected."

HAHAHAHAHA

3/30/2009 4:17:32 PM

16/f/CA

3/30/2009 4:17:38 PM

8==8?

3/30/2009 4:19:53 PM

All I've had for the last five minutes is people saying mean things then dc'ing. I mean, it's the internet, but jesus.

3/30/2009 4:28:37 PM

Quote :

"lol what does /b/ mean?"

haha, you are talking to a fat kid with acne

3/30/2009 4:28:49 PM

first one was
him: you ever punched a hooker?
me: no, have you?
him: it's quite liberating
him: SHAM WOW
then he left

3/30/2009 4:29:35 PM

i've had a few decent conversations

3/30/2009 4:29:50 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: bacon or sausage? You: bacon Stranger: eggs or pancakes? You: eggs Stranger: done any special way? You: scrambled Stranger: awesome. "

nice

3/30/2009 4:32:34 PM

I end up talking to tww peeps

3/30/2009 4:32:54 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hii
You: whats up?
Stranger: ceiling, loft, roof, clouds etc
You: nice
Stranger: yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3/30/2009 4:39:19 PM

Stranger: yeah
You: yeah do you cyber?
Stranger: no cam sowwi
You: so we can just text that shit out
Stranger: yeah if you want
You: alright i'll start i'm rubbing my dick
Stranger: i walk over wearing a mini skirt and a sleevless skirt and im sweating.
You: i put my dick in your hands
Stranger: i rub it a bit and kneel towards it.
You: fuck ya keep going bitch
Stranger: i pull something out of my pocket and chop of the shaft of your dick off.
Stranger: good day to you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3/30/2009 4:42:27 PM

I just talked to a very nice girl named Clare from Ireland. She was great. We are the same age.

I love this!!!

3/30/2009 4:44:45 PM

Haha, you guys getting severe assholes probably deserve some of it.

Like in ^^.

Hahaha...

3/30/2009 4:47:58 PM

Quote :

"Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: yo You: what up Stranger: How's the Weather You: Not 100% sure, i'm cooped up in an office You: I think it's okay outside Stranger: OMG slacker You: haha"

sounds like one of you fucks!

3/30/2009 4:51:27 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: THIS IS GONNA BE AWKWARD! You: tell me about it Stranger: not you again You: haha Stranger: seriously Stranger: this is weird Stranger: OMG Stranger: dude! You: i find it strangely disconcerting as well Stranger: yeah what are the odds huh Stranger: i mean You: pretty good, i'd wager Stranger: i was just walking my turrtle, and now youre here again You: what kind of turtle? Stranger: a blue one You: mine is orange Stranger: with red ribbon on top of it Stranger: orange turtles are awesome though You: that is the birthday present variety right? Stranger: is it the kind that can fly? Stranger: idk i got it like that and liked it You: if it was red with a green bow, that would be a christmas one Stranger: so never took it off Stranger: yeah i dont like the christmas one Stranger: my turtle talks sweet spanish though You: cool You: my dog is portugese Stranger: he always calls me coño Stranger: whats its name? You: cao You: why is your turtle so mean to you? You: do you beat it? Stranger: i dont know Stranger: no im a good owner Stranger: i always give him pizza and stuff You: thats cool Stranger: hes a bit fat though Stranger: and lazy Stranger: he just watches tv all day now You: daytime tv You: his life must be rough Stranger: nah usually just dvds Stranger: downloads all day long You: oh ok Stranger: sometimes when i get home Stranger: hes watching german porn again Stranger: its getting pretty bad You: hahah Stranger: idk what to do Stranger: we went to therapy and stuff You: oh yeah? Stranger: but the shrink always said its me whos the problem Stranger: yeah i dont buy that shit Stranger: whos the lazy fuck on the couch all day? Stranger: not me You: i would like to be a lazy fuck on the couch all day You: too many billz You: but we both know it is the shrink who has the problems You: it comes with the territory Stranger: hell yeah You: listening to everyone else's problems Stranger: yeah that cant be good Stranger: how does he swallow that shit all day long You: when they are more messed up than the people they are trying to help You: hes got good pills Stranger: exactly Stranger: thats why people like him You: you know he gets a kickback from the pharmacys You: thats right Stranger: a shrink is pretty much the only legal drug dealer You: yep Stranger: and health care pays for a lot too You: they have all the good stuff...legal coke, uppers, downers, everything in between Stranger: thats the good part You: aye Stranger: fuck it what you take Stranger: as long as you take enough You: tr00 You: a/s/l? Stranger: yeah my mom was proud the first time i tried shit You: haha Stranger: 13/m/holland You: 45/f/US Stranger: OMG CAN WE LAIK CYBERZ?! You: ewww Stranger: haha Stranger: i got a 3 inch pen0r, thats after the 4 inch extension You: im a bodybuilder You: i got a newborn baby clit Stranger: seriously? You: 9lb and 22 in Stranger: CONGRATS! You: haha Stranger: ah man Stranger: i wish i had one You: la8r"

3/30/2009 4:53:52 PM

Quote :

"You: hey dude Stranger: wassup You: chillin like a villian and killin You: just trying to get a fillin Stranger: cool Stranger: im just maxin You: you? Stranger: relaxin You: maxin and relaxin? Stranger: im raw like jeremy paxman You: oh shit nigga! You: make your rhyme mo bigga You: like my main man jigga Stranger: damn Stranger: I might just try that Stranger: cos i rhyme phat You: i know right? You: it's like flying a kite You: not a kike You: but like little mike Stranger: bitch hand me back the mic Stranger: so I can get hype Stranger: and maybe start a fight Stranger: but i'm out son Stranger: cos I gotta take a shite You: o rly? You: peace nigga"

Quote :

"You: fuck you Stranger: ur mamma You: i fucked yo mama Stranger: i bet she put on u too lol You: in the ass You: it hurt"

3/30/2009 5:01:47 PM

"Stranger: hai
You: hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: 26/f/tampa
You: you???
Stranger: 49, male, saudi arabia
You: wat? get out!
Stranger: no we have only one computer in our village but its my turn to use it
You: wow! that is extra special! do you get much water there???
Stranger: yes we have a well, and are fairy civilised, unlike those dirty africans
Stranger: please what is special i do not understand
You: your life story is! i must haves it!
You: you type english well for an outsider heeheehee
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: you really want my life story?
You: heeheehee you're welcome
You: yes!
You: that would be fantabulous!
Stranger: well I was born on the yemen border, my father was a farmer and my mum died when i was three
Stranger: I really dont know why im telling a stranger this.
You: who better than a complete stranger??? heeheehee
You: i can't tell anyone because i don't even know you!
You: and I'll even tell you something about me
Stranger: when i was 7 my dad was killed by criminals, i had to run away from home by hitching a lift to burahyda in al-quassim
You: oh my!
Stranger: I spent the next 10 years of my life on the streets begging for a living
Stranger: it wasnt really as bad as it sounds
You: oh ya! i heard you can make almost $20 an hour begging on the streets of new york city!
Stranger: Well i'm not saying it was a comfortable life but i made many friends in the burahyda
You: my friend wants to know if you had to suck dick to survive?? he's so immature
Stranger: thats funny, but no i didn't. I am strict islamic and would never offend allah in such a way."

haha god i hope this is real....

3/30/2009 5:08:13 PM

i think chances are pretty slim

3/30/2009 5:09:43 PM

still makes me lul quite heartily because if it's fake i'm still getting some n00b to waste his time

3/30/2009 5:10:41 PM

Quote :

"You: hai asl? You: mine is 12/f/ca Stranger: hi Stranger: 17/f/uk Stranger: u? You: want to e-scissor? Stranger: cool You: i like to scissor with my friends Stranger: no ta"

3/30/2009 5:12:52 PM

i put on my robe and wizard hat

3/30/2009 5:15:28 PM

i've gotten like 4 people from 4chan

3/30/2009 5:18:58 PM

this is awesome. a great way to waste time at work

3/30/2009 5:21:48 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: YO DAWG You: whatup ninja Stranger: YO DAWG You: you already said that Stranger: YO DOG You: there you gp You: go You: where you at? Stranger: outside your home or place of work You: i see you Stranger: o shi You: let me ask you something You: you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

3/30/2009 5:24:30 PM

Wat

3/30/2009 5:26:14 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: hi there You: greetings earthling Stranger: greeting extra-terrestrial Stranger: have you come in peace Stranger: ? You: i have come to eat nachos Stranger: ah lofty goal You: what are your coordinates You: ? Stranger: hmmm have to check with google maps Stranger: but northern europe will do in a pinche You: what nation-state? Stranger: germany You: ah yes, i recall seeing your chancellor on radio waves two wormholes ago Stranger: what are your own astro-coordinates oh mighty space dweller You: currently i am in North Carolina You: in the USA Stranger: North Carolina, that is on the east cost right? Next to South Carolina i guess Stranger: something about oil-rigs You: it is North of South Carolina, on the east coast You: we have lots of tobacco, pork food products, and technology companies You: a great combination Stranger: ha was about to say that :-) You: i am a male Stranger: me too You: ok bye Stranger: ok bye :-)"

3/30/2009 5:32:44 PM

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey hun
You: oh hai
Stranger: so.. whats goin on <3
You: learning about art.
You: and chatting with strange people
You: WAT GOIN ON WITCHOO
Stranger: well i've just got one question for you hun
You: CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
Stranger: would you like a bigger penis!? only 9.95 for a 3 week supply!
You: hahahha
Stranger: free samples available at lemonparty.com
You: lemonparty.org
You: silly
Stranger: /b/?
You: hey don't break rule 1 and 2
Stranger: shit!
You: hahah
Stranger: pointless raid if we run into eachother
You: true that





another


Stranger: tbn?
You: bwn?
Stranger: wagwan?
You: rules 1 and 2?
Stranger: pee and poo?
You: advice puppy?
Stranger: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


[Edited on March 30, 2009 at 5:36 PM. Reason : .]

3/30/2009 5:33:11 PM

Quote :

"Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: HAI ^_^ You: hai! Stranger: Do u like the jonas brothers tew? You: haha, totally Stranger: my fav is billy jonas, hes sooo dreamy Stranger: i would just die if i could meet him You: frank jonas is waaaay hotter Stranger: but frank got kicked out because he broke his promis ring didn't he You: yeah he took it up the ass Stranger: do you know if their gonna let him back in? You: idk, i think i heard something about sacrificing him to the god of maple syrup at their next concert Stranger: GIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESH GIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESH GIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: v Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: v Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: v Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESH Stranger: GIRUGAMESHGIRUGAMESH Stranger: THE GAME Your conversational partner has disconnected."

3/30/2009 5:37:36 PM

Me: Sup.
Them: Herro
Me: Where are you from?
Them: China

hahahahahah

3/30/2009 5:38:02 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: This is Sandra from Omegle customer support. We've had a number of complaints about you abusing this service. Please read the TOS before continuing or we'll be forced to ban your IP address.
You: not you again
Stranger: Excuse me?
You: go report me to whoever you lying bitch
Stranger: You have not been formely reported, and nor will you be.
Stranger: You will be banned if you continue to use profane language and offensive terms.
You: suck a dick
Stranger: Excuse me?
You: eat shit and die
You: worthless piece of shit
Stranger: Further behaviour will result in an IP banning
You: go fuck yourself
Stranger: You think it's ok to go around calling African American "nigga"?
Stranger: That will not be tolerated i am sorry.
You: what about nigger is that better?
Stranger: Neither is acceptable
Stranger: Do you like with faggit parents?
Stranger: Two guys?
You: 2 girls 1 cup?
Stranger: Do they share a fucking milkshake with two fucking straws you fucking pagan!
You: stfu!!!! later homoerotic fag
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3/30/2009 5:39:34 PM

Marshall, your convo made me LOL.

i had 1 ok conversation and 1 decent conversation. one was obviously a guy, the other probably a shy girl.

3/30/2009 5:44:25 PM

Stranger: asl?
You: 23/t/china
Stranger: t?
You: transexual
You: dick and tits
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

hahahahhahah

[Edited on March 30, 2009 at 5:48 PM. Reason : ]

3/30/2009 5:46:19 PM

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: How're the kids sarah?
You: good
You: tired though
You: from all the fucking
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3/30/2009 5:48:38 PM

Stranger: twice as big as what ive had before
Stranger: As soon as he heard one of his comrades scream “SQUAD BROKEN!", Eduardo the Space Marine knew that he was doomed. He charged forth in a panic, firing his plasma gun wildly into the air. Somehow the orks had surrounded them! Eduardo’s teammates ran shrieking into the depths of the abandoned tanker, the grunting lustful orks in swift pursuit. Soon Eduardo was alone.

The brawny Space Marine collapsed against a wall, panting raggedly. His plasma gun had nearly overheated, and his com units were malfunctioning. No use even if they worked. By now, his whole squad was surely dead.

Lost in his thoughts, Eduardo did not hear the ork creeping up on him. Stunned by a blow to the head, Eduardo was thrown violently to the floor. The ork grunted in amusement, bending down and straddling his body. Dazed, Eduardo turned his head to look up at his enemy. The ork fellow was huge, well muscled and even attractive for his species. Right now the ork’s vibrant green skin was flushing dark in arousal. Eduardo whimpered as he realized what was about to happen.

Summoning up his powers as a Blood Angel, Eduardo bellowed in the Black Rage and began to flail about under the ork. The ork simply grunting, riding the panicked Space Marine like a rodeo bull. Already weakened, Eduardo simply did not have the strength to dislodge the much heavier ork.

All that thrashing around served to arouse the ork further. His name was Gurk, and the friction as the puny Marine flopped around between his muscular thighs was giving him quite a respectable hard-on. Gurk had meant to save the Marine for his own squad, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Whipping out his own plasma gun, Gurk seared off the back of the Marine’s armor, leaving his shining buttocks bare to the ork’s lustful gaze.

Eduardo moaned in fear, his virgin asscheeks clapping firmly together to deny the ork entrance. Gurk simply laughed, ripping off his crude orkish loincloth to reveal a thick green meat pole, nearly 12 inches long. The ork stuck one calloused finger down his throat, bringing up a thick vomit slurry which spattered down into the crack of Eduardo’s ass. Smearing the foul vomit around with one brutish paw, Gurk prepared the Space Marine’s tender anus for playtime.

Much to Gurk’s frustration, his cock was simply too large to fit inside Eduardo’s tight man cunt. He grunted furiously, screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" in his deep orkish voice as he battered his fuckmeat against Eduardo’s tightly sealed pleasure ring. Suddenly the Space Marine’s portal gave way, and the swollen head of Gurk’s cock popped through into the forbidden halls of his anus. Gurk’s pleased snort was drowned out by Eduardo’s scream of agony.

The ork began to pump away in earnest, his bulging muscular hips and thighs slamming brutally against Eduardo’s ass. His heavy, furry balls slapped against the human’s ass merrily, creating a calypso that pleased Gurk mightily. Blood, a thin smear of feces, and Gurk’s own oily yellow pre-cum lubricated Eduardo’s asshole until it was as hot and slippery as Gurk’s own mother’s cunt.

Poor Eduardo was swiftly going into shock from the pain. His mind growing dim, he screamed “SQUAD BROKEN! SQUAD BROKEN!" over and over as the ork thrust brutally into his bruised insides. The ork’s massive cock had caused a large degree of internal damage, and Eduardo was close to passing out from blood loss and fear. If his squad didn’t find him soon, Eduardo knew that he would soon die. His poor plasma gun discharged into the floor one final time, overheating from a mix of pleasure and agonizing pain.

The Space Marine had been a good fuck for Gurk, but he needed something special to truly finish. Gurk’s heavy balls drew up close to his body, and he felt himself tensing, about to cum. As Gurk’s thick semen roiled up out of his cock and into Eduardo’s battered body, the ork slammed his powerful hands shut around the Marine’s neck. With a vicious jerk up and back, the ork crushed the Marine’s windpipe and vertebrae, swiftly ending his life. Eduardo’s anus clamped shut around Gurk’s cock, the painful tightness almost causing the ork to pass out.

Gurk roared out as he climaxed in the dead Marine, his beautiful green cock pumping load after load of thick ork jizzum into Eduardo’s lower intestine. The ork pulled out as Eduardo’s anus slowly relaxed, releasing Gurk’s cock with a wet sucking sound. Gurk used the sleeve of the Marine’s uniform to wipe the thick scum of blood, shit and cum from his swiftly withering ork meat. With a satisfied grunt, Gurk walked slowly away from the Marine.

Eduardo’s corpse lay cooling on the floor of the tanker, the charred remnants of his uniform stained dark with the foul fluids of both the ork and himself.

Squad broken.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

3/30/2009 5:48:45 PM

Quote :

"Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: you're gonna love my nuts. Stranger: nobbies nuts? You: no, my nuts. You: stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Stranger: why, whats special about them? You: they've been washed with a shamWOW! Stranger: wow Stranger: freshly shaved too? You: you know the germans always make good stuff Stranger: this is true Stranger: except maybe the 1 series Stranger: that sucks You: there's your mildew, that is gonna smell. Stranger: its ok, my girlfriend keeps farting Stranger: it masks the smell You: fart on her face. You: it's the only acceptable solution. Stranger: I enjoy it when she farts in my face Stranger: its my thing You: you should try fisting You: it's quite liberating Stranger: giving or receiving/ You: both. at the same time. Stranger: thats a bit pervy Stranger: plus my piles are giving me jip You: that's unacceptable Stranger: true, she did try sucking them better but to no avail Stranger: said they tasted nutty You: psh, smack her Stranger: I did Stranger: should I call 999? Stranger: she has stopped farting You: yes, please do Stranger: whats there number/ You: idk, let me go ask my mum real quick Stranger: I know what it is in america Stranger: but not here You: she said to phone 999 and yell that you have a bomb in your rectum Stranger: I do have a bomb in my rectum Stranger: its a dirty bomb You: great success! Stranger: do you enjoy your girlfriends farts like me? You: i have no girlfriend You: i like d00dz Stranger: but that is gay You: completely Stranger: urgh You: urgh Stranger: have you seen another mans wee wee? You: i'm touching one right now Stranger: urgh You: urgh Stranger: is it hard? You: it's in my mouth You: urgh Stranger: its rude to talk with your mouth full You: i actually have two mouths Stranger: that is convenient Stranger: are you sure one is not your bottom? Stranger: has a man ever done a sex wee in your bumbum? You: hm, i hadn't thought of that possibility You: hell no, i'm not a fag Stranger: thats good Stranger: I like a bit of cock as much as the next man but I can't stand fags You: me neither, they piss me off You: i like having sex with normal dudes Stranger: so well dressed Stranger: and groomed You: unacceptable Stranger: so do you prefer man farts or girl farts? Stranger: girl farts smell like sweet roses to me You: i actually prefer baby jaguar farts Stranger: kinky You: your mum is kinky Stranger: my girlfriend is coming round Stranger: should I kick her again You: oh that's good You: has 999 arrived yet You: they need to do a full rectal exam Stranger: no, no sign of 999 yet You: OH LOL THATS ME You: SRY IM GOING TO THA AMBULANCE NOW Your conversational partner has disconnected."

3/30/2009 5:52:03 PM

Quote :

"ranger: ahh so you send your naked pictures by email Stranger: hello? You: not to 16 y/o girls.. i dont want to be on dateline You: :p Stranger: lol they have dateline in brazil? You: i dont know. Stranger: oh You: they have lots of signs saying child prosistution is illegal. Stranger: lol well it is Stranger: can i ask u smthing Stranger: i need a male opinion You: sure Stranger: i just accidentally my mouse.. what should i do You: ? Stranger: ??? You: you accidentally did what to your mouse.. Stranger: yeah Stranger: the whole thing You: o 4chan You: what will you think of next You: you got me Stranger: MY BALLLS You: hahaha Stranger: alright peace You: later"

3/30/2009 5:52:08 PM

Quote :

"Stranger: HEYYYYYY You: hiyo! Stranger: wanna get our dicks hard You: FUCK YEAH"

3/30/2009 5:56:13 PM