I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't flame me for this, because yes, I know you shouldn't use drugs, and the best way to detox/pass drug tests is to just abstain for a long period of time

this is partly why I decided that this thread wouldn't be right for chit chat, because I need as many serious answers as I can get

but the fact is, I've had something to smoke in the past week, and I may need to provide some clean piss pretty soon

I'm not sure HOW soon, but let's say within the next 2 weeks (and that could even mean as soon as like 4 days from now)


I wasn't going to ask TWW, but I've decided I need more opinions

I've already started exercising (supposedly you need to do some pretty heavy exercising)
and drinking more water than normal (I've heard both sides of this one, that it definitely works to drink a lot, and that it doesn't necessarily help)

I've also heard cranberry juice is a plus


does anyone have any success with detox drinks that work for a brief period of time? again, I've heard both success and failure stories with this method

there are a couple of specific brands that people have said work, but I need some irl success stories


for now I'm just gonna not smoke, exercise a couple of times a day pretty strenuously, drink plenty of water, buy some cranberry juice, and just hope for the best

any advice you guys could give me would be awesome

I'm ~200 lbs, 5'11" so I'm obviously overweight and I know it won't be as easy to detox

10/4/2009 1:20:53 PM

InbeforetheFlames

10/4/2009 1:23:40 PM

I thought the lounge was for serious input here

10/4/2009 1:28:55 PM

don't do drugs. no need to detox.

and no short detox method works. sorry.

10/4/2009 1:37:09 PM

my only advise is if you can afford is to get one or two of the cheap-o tests from walmart or something so you can see if you're able to pass a test yet.

a lot of places use basically exactly that for their drug screening if they're cheap. obviously some places will go to a doc but i dunno how much better or different those are.

10/4/2009 1:38:11 PM

I have no input

10/4/2009 1:41:13 PM

Have a poppy seed bagel in your hand for the test.

10/4/2009 1:51:15 PM

thanks for those of you who had actual input

so basically just to schpenxel


I hear GNC has some good quick detox products, but they're kind of expensive, and I have no testimonials from people I know in person as to whether or not they work

online, most people seem to say it works if you use it right, but a few people say they've failed

there's one called Q Carbo 32 or something that's supposed to be decent - anyone heard of that?

10/4/2009 1:54:04 PM

Whaa.... I did drugs and now I want to not get caught. I am sure this is the first time this thread has been done. I hope you fail the test hardcore, and I hope it somehow follows you.

10/4/2009 1:59:44 PM

how the hell am I whining?

and what the fuck is this?


some serious section this is

and getting caught? whose fucking business is it what I use other than mine?

10/4/2009 2:00:53 PM

Well it's the law son.

And by posting on TWW you've pretty made it everyone who reads this thread's business.

And this is a serious section. You're just seriously not getting any sympathy.

10/4/2009 2:05:39 PM

he's not asking for sympathy dip shit

10/4/2009 2:07:25 PM

^^I've got an idea

fuck off if you're not going to give me a serious response that helps

10/4/2009 2:07:30 PM

there are some threads on this, perhaps they got purged

ive heard all the same things about cranberry juice and lots of water/exercise. but i think being fat is going to be your biggest issue

how regular of a smoker are you? make sure the drug test is a piss test and not a hair test. i think they snip off some of your armpit hair if they go that route.

good luck.

10/4/2009 2:10:55 PM

if its a urine test you can try drinking vinegar straight up or watered down at least once a day. I have had a few friends do this and pass with no problem. I dont know if the vinegar actually did anything but they swear by it.

10/4/2009 2:32:33 PM

Why would we want to help someone circumvent the law?

10/4/2009 2:48:45 PM

you guys are assholes. Smoking weed (I dont) may be against the law but in reality it shouldnt have any effect on employment, I mean why dont they give alcohol tests? same fucking thing, hell marijuana is probably even safer.

anyway, inbeforethejackleg

10/4/2009 2:57:45 PM

not at all the same thing. Marijuana impacts a person's motivation and, depending on how much you've smoked, your concentration and mental acuity can be degraded in the subsequent days far more than what you suffer with a simple alcohol hangover.

and fyi, i support the legalization of marijuana... I'm just being honest here. marijuana is a far safer drug than alcohol overall, but there actually are legitimate reasons why a company would prefer that their employees indulge in alcohol than marijuana

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:00 PM. Reason : s]

10/4/2009 2:59:17 PM

some of the most successful, motivated people I know are daily smokers. Just sayin

10/4/2009 3:00:59 PM

well just imagine what they could have been without the mary jane.

and i'll grant the occasional outlier, but lets be honest here. we all know how marijuana impact's people's motivation levels ok.

10/4/2009 3:02:05 PM

ill agree there are the outliers but the people that I know that smoke it will often do it, often do so when they want to kick start motivation and productivity. I hear your point. Personally, pot makes me into a lethargic, food devouring wasteland so I get it but apparently it doesn't work that that for quite a few people.

10/4/2009 3:06:37 PM

^^show me some data that says an occasional pot smoker lacks motivation

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:07 PM. Reason : S]

10/4/2009 3:07:08 PM

^^ well you're a relatively successful person who probably hangs out with similarly successful people, so there's been some selection bias in your sample there.

^ give me a freaking break... if you're at the point where you're demanding HARD DATA on something like that, it wouldn't matter what I gave you - you'd figure out some nitpick to deny it. you think this is my first time around the TWW block?

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:09 PM. Reason : s]

10/4/2009 3:07:47 PM

that has to be the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard

10/4/2009 3:10:18 PM

"We all know that pot causes a lack of motivation"

and then you say ^^ that shit? how the fuck can we all know about it if there isnt some sort of evidence for it?? or did am I still in the religion thread

10/4/2009 3:12:34 PM

Quote :

"I've already started exercising (supposedly you need to do some pretty heavy exercising)"

thc clings to fat cells, so if you burn fat you will release stored thc into your body.


also, "flushing" your system is not going to work

get a lasik (sp?) pill and a vitamin B pill. The lasik you take the morning of the piss test, it will make you piss perfectly clear.... the vitamin B will add the protein to your urine that will increase the density (and color) of your now clear urine.

The best way is just to get a tube of someone else's piss and sneak it in, but the above is your best options. Trying to "flush" your system days before does nothing, it has to be the morning of.

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:15 PM. Reason : also a couple of those cheap home tests wouldnt hurt, so you can learn how much of each you need]

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:15 PM. Reason : google has some interesting things.... p.s if you dont smoke u wont need this info /asshole]

10/4/2009 3:14:16 PM

10/4/2009 3:31:45 PM

I know a guy who ordered stuff from http://www.detoks.com - I think it was qclean or herbal clean - he said it worked.

But if you don't want to buy kits or spend too much money, you're going to need about a month. Some common/cheap products that claim to have detoxifying properties are: hot water with lemon, vitamin C, dandelion tea, niacin, and garlic. Exercise and drink a lot of water, but stop exercising a few days before the test.

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:47 PM. Reason : gl]

10/4/2009 3:38:05 PM

Quote :

"we all know how marijuana impact's people's motivation levels ok."

Two kinds of people:
A) Productive, highly motivated people smoke weed to relax and experience a drop in motivation.
B) Lazy people who aren't motivated smoke weed just cause.



I think the B's far outweigh the A's.

10/4/2009 3:46:54 PM

Knowing what we know, I'd probably put the OP in the B) category.

And for what it's worth, if you seriously didn't think you'd get shit for trying to ask a serious question about, in effect, "cheating" on a test you're an idiot.

[Edited on October 4, 2009 at 3:56 PM. Reason : my bad... didn't read it carefully. ^ agree]

10/4/2009 3:56:19 PM

If you can't pass a urine test, you aren't smart enough for the job you were offered, lol. You can expect THC to remain in your system anywhere from 3 to 40 days. Obviously, simply quitting is the best method. However, I'll tell you what my friend that used to work for quest diagnostics told me in regards to passing a urine test. Just to be clear, I never ended up trying this, because I quit smoking for good before I was offered a job that drug tested. I recommend that you simply quit smoking, because it's dumb and unhealthy.

Anyway, you want to have the cleanest system possible before taking the actual test. Increased exercise helps to reduce the amount of THC that enters your urine, and then your bladder, per tick, slowly over time, by burning it from your system overtime, but you want to stop exercising a few days before the test to lower your natural THC levels entering your urine, per tick, because of increased exercise.

You want to be drinking water, which helps to dilute the sample, and cranberry juice.

Cranberry juice is a diuretic, which will help you pee a lot right before taking the test, plus it will help to dilute the sample as well.

You want to take a B Complex Vitamin, but only take this right before the test on your last full bladder, which you will be taking to the test. If you take it earlier, the color will fade with each consecutive pee. If you take more b complex to compensate for this, you may make your pee too yellow, which could be flagged by the lab as unusual.

Basically, you want your bladder to be full of a "yellow very diluted cranberry/water mixture with the lowest possible thc levels confirmed by passing two consecutive take home drug tests" immediately before heading out to the lab for the actual test.

However, you only have about a 30 minute grace period, before a normal person's system will dump enough of thc into your last full bladder to fail the urine test, so it's very time sensitive and depends on the individual's system!).

So, after passing 2 consecutive take home tests, drink your last batch of water/cranberry juice, take your complex b vitamin, and plan to give your last full bladder to the lab within 30 minutes of drinking and taking the vitamin.

The last step is to try and pee into the cup in mid stream. Begin by peeing into the toilet first, and then into the cup mid stream, and then into the toilet again. The idea, which I have my doubts about being accurate, is that the beginning and the end of your pee stream have the potential of containing the highest levels of THC contained within your urine; compared to your mid stream urine.

After that, just pray.

The sample they receive will have the correct yellowish color, and if it passes the initial phase of the lab test (you can have confidence that it will pass at the actual test, assuming you did your homework with the take home tests beforehand), most labs won't care if the sample is detected as diluted. Nevertheless, if they ask about it, just say that you drank Gatorade before the test, and they normally won't do any further testing, unless they suspect something... (a specific gravity test can be performed to prove the sample is just water or they may ask you to re-take the test a few hours later, but its a hassle for the lab and they don't care that much about it normally). Anyway, I don't know if this method will even work, but if you cannot stall out your urine test, and simply be clean for 40 days, it may be one of your best bets? Regardless, quit smoking, it's dumb.

10/4/2009 4:26:19 PM

i assume you smoke habitually, so drink as much water as you can shove down your throat btwn now and then.

How much time do you have btwn when you are told the time you are having the test and when you actually take the test?


good luck.

10/4/2009 4:54:49 PM

We will expect an update, of course.

10/4/2009 4:59:13 PM

i was wondering why you havent been on tww that much lately...youve been excersising!

Hopefully you can pass the test and keep up the excersise.

10/4/2009 5:02:52 PM

Everybody is focused on the immediate problem / solution. Let me ask a question: Can you NOT take the test whenever they ask you to? I.e. Can you somehow delay taking the test (Peace Corps?) or is this a "now or never" sort of thing?

10/4/2009 6:44:55 PM

Some companies require you to take the test within a certain number of days.

10/4/2009 6:52:25 PM

If you miss a drug test, I think many companies will just fire you if you don't have a damn good reason and some proof to go with it (like a doctor's note saying you were puking your guts out).

If you reschedule a drug test, with enough warning, I don't think it'll be an issue, as long as its within a few days of the original date.

If you refuse to take a drug test when they surprise you with it at work, I think they can fire you as well.

I know the only company I ever had drug test me was like "yeah, if you try to skip out on these you're pretty much fired, so just go to the doctor, pee in a cup, and get on with your life". They did them randomly I think, but they really only did it when they hired you.

10/4/2009 7:11:26 PM

urineluck.com. As long as you have a couple of weeks, you should be fine. Also better hope they don't do a hair sample instead of pee.

Quote :

"not at all the same thing. Marijuana impacts a person's motivation and, depending on how much you've smoked, your concentration and mental acuity can be degraded in the subsequent days far more than what you suffer with a simple alcohol hangover. "

It does not affect motivation. It only universally affects motor skills by slowing response time. However, it also raises awareness of impairment effectively creating no impact.

Your last bit is utter bullshit. If you stop smoking weed, your mental facilities return to normal as soon as it's passed through your blood stream (in a matter of 1-2 days, just like alcohol). In fact, there are a number of examples in top-tier athletics that show the ill effects of alcohol are MUCH more costly to concentration, mental acuity, and responsiveness over short and long term than THC is in any form.

The only industries with a legitimate need to test for marijuana are industrial occupations where sensory response time and acuity are necessary to maintain a safe work environment.

Something like 20-30% of the adult american population consumes marijuana. It's been suggested that as high as 60-70% of the adult population has tried it at least once. With tens of millions of users, over the course of many generations, it's pretty interesting that there have been zero OD's, and many of the top atheletes, scientists, business people, politicians, and thinkers of our time have all been smokers. Yet for some reason there is still this retarded, completely unfounded stigma around it.

10/4/2009 7:29:03 PM

i'll put a grand on the table that this test isnt for a job.


I bet his mom is going to kick him out of his basement because she's tired of supporting a lazy stoner. So if he fails the test, he's out of the house.

10/4/2009 7:51:55 PM

i puked up a 32oz of Qcarbo and failed a test

ive abstained for about 2 weeks and passed ... walmart home kit showed a pass as well

ive also use a synthetic urine kit and passed with flying colors

just remember that the more you exercise the more fat you burn meaning the more thc in your system being expelled. make sure you dont exercise hard a few days before your test

if you are trying to beat it with out help then all you can do is buy a few tests...drink lots of water and look into some diuretics and Vit. B pills

10/4/2009 8:04:02 PM

i'd consider myself pretty SMRT about drug tests

when i first quit drugs, i was taking one a week for ages. i didn't have any weed in my system but it took about 7 weeks before i ran one fully clean. shit was crazy. it's all about how much you do.

i know from other people in the same situation that weed can stay for as little as a week, and as long as 6, depending on how much they smoked and how thin they were.

but yeah i know its me on my high horse here, but you'd be pretty dumb to be doing drugs while looking for a job or whatever. good luck all the same, and hopefully you learn something from this

10/4/2009 8:42:15 PM

well, I'm stupid


nc86 I will take that grand, thanks

unless you were just spouting bullshit

which you generally are

10/4/2009 8:45:50 PM

Quote :

"for some reason there is still this retarded, completely unfounded stigma around it."

i totally agree with this, by the way. and i'm all for people being able to smoke. but until society as a whole decides that it's okay, you better be in a position where you don't need society if you want to smoke it. that's all i'm saying.

10/4/2009 8:48:24 PM

i'm more interested in the activity you are attempting to do that requires a drug test - are you finally getting a job?!?!?

10/4/2009 8:58:12 PM

I've had a job so to speak for some time now, but not a "real" job

yes, this would be for a job

I shouldn't be admitting it publicly because it might somehow come back to bite me in the ass

but whatever, I don't care really

10/4/2009 10:00:42 PM

Quote :

"but whatever, I don't care really"

lol...dude, that's just the marijuana speaking!!!!

10/5/2009 9:10:57 AM

I have had to take a number of random drug tests in the past few years for jobs that I have had. I am not a regular smoker, maybe take a puff or two once a week if that but I used to be. Everything depends on your metabolism/frequency of smoking. If you just smoked a bowl a week ago then it is going to be a lot easier to get out of your system than if you are a regular toker. I have taken detox stuff and just had water and they have both worked. I know people who have passed with detox and who have failed so there is no real proof there that it is going to work. Exercising is definitely important especially if you have a low metabolism. Obviously you want to drink as much water as possible, which is the only thing I do these days, and I usually have a 48 hr window. If you are nervous about whether or not you are going to pass then I second the idea to go get a few home tests. They are very accurate and can give you peace of mind. Make sure when you take the test that you do it first thing in the morning (first pee of the day) because that is when your urine is going to be the most concentrated.

10/5/2009 10:04:54 AM

There's alot of good points ITT. My method has always worked with at least 3 days clean immediately prior to the test. I use the ole dilution/diuretic approach along with cranberry juice for color/pH.

My diuretic of choice is a packet of Certo Sure-Jell Fruit Pectin



Mix with a glass of water, drink as fast as possible (stirring between sips). I then drink about a half gallon of water, peeing at least 3-4 times before leaving, and topping everything off with plenty of Cranberry juice at the end. Works for me hours after leaving the house. Only time I've seen the method fail was when a regular toker tried it less than 24 hours after smoking. With at least 2 days grace period I've yet to see it fail. Worse case scenario is that the test comes back "inconclusive".

10/5/2009 1:02:39 PM

1) fill your bathtub with water.
2) Plug a toaster into a near by wall socket.
3) while submerged in the tub, turn on the toaster and drop it in the water


This is a very fast and effective detox method.

10/5/2009 1:15:21 PM

you're funny

take your dumb shit back to chit chat

10/5/2009 1:49:16 PM