Looks like my ship has come in.

As soon as I get my ATM card I'm going to be driving a sweet fucking Lotus and dicking lingerie models.

Quote :

"ATTN: BENEFICIARY, U.S.A GOVERNMENT, INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS, WORLD BANK AND UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION OFFICIAL RESOLVED THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND. THE U.S.A GOVERNMENT, INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUNDS, WORLD BANK AND UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION OFFICIAL RESOLVED THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND FEW DAYS AGO IN GENEVA SWITZERLAND, AND WE HAVE FINALIZED THE RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT. SINCE THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT IN CONJUNCTION WITH UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT, WORLD BANK AND UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION HAS GIVEN AN IRREVOCABLE APPROVAL ORDER WITH THIS RELEASE CODE: GNC/3480/05/09 IN YOUR FAVOR FOR THE IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF YOUR ENTITLEMENT FUNDS TO YOU WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT. BELOW ARE WHERE THE APPROVED NUMBERS; 1. UNITED NATIONS APPROVAL NO; UN5685P, 2. WHITE HOUSE APPROVED NO: WH44CV, 3. REFERENCE NO.-35460021, 4. ALLOCATION NO: 674632 5. PASSWORD NO: 339331, 6. PIN CODE NO: 55674 7. CERTIFICATE OF MERIT PAYMENT NO: 401, 8. RELEASED CODE NO: 0763; IT IS WITH GLADNESS, I WRITE YOU THIS MESSAGE, TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON THE SUCCESSFUL RELEASE OF THE SUM OF $25 MILLION USD TO YOU, CREDITED TO ONLINE BANK ATM CARD ACCOUNT THAT WAS SET UP FOR YOU IN OUR BANK THE INTERCONTINENTAL BANK PLC. BELOW IS YOUR LOGIN DETAIL; USER ID: 773634528 PASSWORD: 3WE63SD47 THE METROPOLITAN COURIER IS UNABLE TO COMPLETE THE DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM CARD WITH THE DETAILS WE RECEIVED FROM IMF, SO WE REQUIRE SOME MORE INFORMATION IN ORDER TO COMPLETE THIS TRANSFER. YOUR FULL NAMES:_____________ CONTACT ADDRESS:_____________ MOBILE PHONE:_____________ HOME PHONE:_____________ FAX:_____________ OCCUPATION:_____________ MARITAL STATUS:_____________ AGE:_____________ IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THIS PROBLEM, PLEASE EMAIL US IMMEDIATELY. AS SOON AS THIS INFORMATION IS RECEIVED. THANK YOU AS WE ANTICIPATE YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE. EMAIL: drgodwillokeke_208@yahoo.co.jp REGARDs, DR GODWILL OKEKE (Chairman Committee On Foreign Contract And Inheritance fund Payment Notification from Intercontinental Bank Plc, United Nations And USA Government.)"

10/10/2009 7:44:01 PM

At least in the air, you can't know how badly we suck

10/10/2009 7:44:49 PM

MOR MODELS PLZ

10/10/2009 7:47:59 PM

haha. The UN needs you to reply to a yahoo.com.jp email address, lol

10/10/2009 7:50:44 PM

I might ask about that when I'm kicking back Cristal with Dr. Godwill Okeke.

10/10/2009 7:53:34 PM

drgodwillokeke_208@yahoo.co.jp

10/10/2009 8:00:39 PM

Quote :

"NOTIFICATION OF ATM CARD ACCREDITATION This is to officially inform you that an Inter-Switch ATM-Card Valued at $11Million USD only has been accredited in your favor by the Federal Government.Your Personal Identification Number is ATM-2900. The ATM Card has a daily withdrawal limit of $5,000.00 USD Per Day. You are advised to contact Mrs. Allam Elizabeth: (mrsallamelizabeth122607@gmail.com) for claim processing. This is to ensure that you receive your ATM-CARD grant Award on time to avoid delay. (Note you will be paying a courier delivery fee, so remember that before replying this mail). Please provide the following details for processing * Full Name: * Delivery Address: * Sex: * Age: * Occupation: * Phone Number: * Country of Residence: We look forward to receiving the information necessary to complete the process so that the prize can be sent to you. Regards, Senator David Mark. Phone:+2347032053425 Executive,Committee On ATM-CARD Payment."

I'm up another 11 mil, bitches.

10/25/2009 3:03:01 PM

Quote :

"THANK YOU AS WE ANTICIPATE YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE. EMAIL: drgodwillokeke_208@yahoo.co.jp REGARDs, DR GODWILL OKEKE"

you're gonna make sure you come back on here and tell us how you never bone anyone who's not physical perfection right?

10/25/2009 3:07:40 PM

A lotus......really?

10/25/2009 3:31:42 PM

Quote :

"As soon as I get my ATM card I'm going to be driving a sweet fucking Lotus and dicking lingerie models."

And then you will come in here boasting and all so that we can hate our 'mediocre' lives, ala Noen, right?

10/25/2009 3:37:35 PM

lotuses are the bomb! the elise is so purdy

10/25/2009 4:33:23 PM

Quote :

"Phone:+2347032053425"

haha thats a Nigerian phone number. someone call and record the conversation

10/25/2009 4:34:10 PM

^^^

I might not even need the models any more. Met a girl last night at the bar, who I'd never met before but we have tons of mutual friends from over the years. Not a trophy date, because she's actually awesome, but date secured.

10/25/2009 8:05:54 PM

I remember when I made this thread and I kept the son going for a little while.

message_topic.aspx?topic=537224

10/25/2009 8:06:36 PM

No reply from Dr. Okeke yet. I wanted to keep it casual so I didn't seem too excited about it, so I just told him

Quote :

"Yo dawg, Hook me up wit my $$$! I'm tryna get PAID!"

I might need to hit up Mrs. Allam Elizabeth (mrsallamelizabeth122607@gmail.com) and get the ball rolling on that.

10/25/2009 8:10:04 PM

Quote :

"SHE'S ACTUALLY AWESOME"

[Edited on October 25, 2009 at 8:10 PM. Reason : ]

10/25/2009 8:10:18 PM

uh oh Mr. Joshua, you may be the victim of an attempted scam! proceed with caution. But don't worry, there is a way you can tell if he is legit. First, contact Dr. Okeke with a question about the $25 mil. If he is for real, the Dr. will always refer to your transfer as "monies" instead of just plain "money." Be sure to check this before you give him any info.

10/25/2009 8:25:10 PM

He's clearly legit. The man has his fucking doctorate, so I doubt he'd trying to hit me up for monies.

10/25/2009 8:39:45 PM

Damn, luck strikes again.

Quote :

"United Nations Trust Funds Switzerland Department of Humanitarian Affairs Palais des Nations CH-1211 Geneva 10 Switzerland. site.http://www.unfoundation.org/ DEAR BENEFICIARY, CODE NO: (ATM-822) The United Nations Development Program(UNDP),inconjunction with the society for family health(SFH)and the European Union(EU),We have verifiled your Unclaims funds and found out why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled the obligation given to you in respect of your Unclaims payment. Secondly we have been inform that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank/Custom Office/Courier Companies making your attempt to secure the release of the funds to you. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like these have to stop that if you wish to receive your Unclaims funds, Since we decided to bring a solution to your problem, right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center ASIA Pacific that is the instruction from Mr. President Umaru Yar'Adura (GCFR). Federal Republic Of Nigeria and FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATORS (FBI), WASHINGTON DC. ROOM 7367J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON DC 20535 MR. ROBERT MUELLER . Note that the actual funds are valued $10. MILLION USD and the president made a compensation fund release for all unpaid beneficiary valued at $500,000.00USD each, for lucky beneficiary like you. to promote our global publicity and reputations as we plan to exploit more corners of the world.This promotion is just one various ways we are presently using to achieve this global vision of ours beloved victim. So if you like to receive your funds this way please let us know by contacting the International Monetary Funds Department Card Payment Center. _______________________________________________ Name : Mr. Maxwell Page Email : atm_claimsdepartment01@ireland.ir Tell:+234-706-901-4094. When contacting the claims Officer you should include the following Full Names. Phone and Fax Number: Home address were you want them to send the ATM Card to: Your Age,Sex and Current Occupation: Country: The ATM Card Payment Center has been mandated to issue out {USD 500,000.00 DOLLARS} for this fiscal year 2009 for lucky winner's like you. Also for your information, You have to stop any further communications with any other person (S)or Office(S) to avoid any hitches in receiving your funds. Special greetings from the entire Staffs of United Nations Trust Funds Worldwide. Signed, Kofi Annan. (UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY GENERAL.)"

Should I even bother with this? It's only 500,000, which is considerably less than the other emails I've gotten.

Also, do you think the UN gets pissed that Kofi is still calling himself the secretary general?

10/27/2009 9:38:33 AM

you should write back and say due to other recent windfalls (describe them and where and how they became yours (fully include the emails too maybe?) that you are uninterested in the piddly 500k. ask if they would be willing to increase it.

i want to see if they bite hard and try to act like those other ones were just scams but theirs is real.

10/27/2009 9:44:10 AM

10/27/2009 9:46:21 AM

My dad wrote back to the Nigerian scam artists about two years ago, which resulted in massive amounts of hilarity from their mutual correspondence. This is old hat to me, especially old considering my dad lead the charge, but still brings the lulz.

10/27/2009 10:25:12 AM

There's some definite LOLs on those sites like 419eater

10/27/2009 10:37:33 AM

So Kofi wants to give you money... wow. That second one you posted is just surreal... amazing what they will say to make it sound real: FBI, UN, Switzerland, Kofi, EU, etc. And then they have to go ahead and ruin it all by saying 'Nigeria'.

Fucking idiots.

10/27/2009 11:26:41 AM

Quote :

"Dear Good Friend, I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund valued for US$10.5M.The fund have been transferred under the co-operation of a new partner from Japan. Presently i'm in Japan for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. meanwhile,i didn't forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring these fund despite that it failed us some how. Now contact my secretary,his name is Mr.Bruce Flucther his phone number is +234-8079879101 or E-mail him on: bruceflucther@sify.com ask him to send you the total amount of US$1.500,000.00 which i kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.I appreciated your efforts at that time very much i thank you. So feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mr.Bruce Flucther and instruct him where to send the amount to you.I droped an ATM card worth of US$1.500,000.00 on your name so contact him to enable him send it to you. Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness we went through,i am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand.So you have to contact my secretary as soon as possible and ask him to send you the ATM card worth US$1,500,000.00 without any delay as I have instructed him to do when you ask for it.Thanks. Best regards, Thomas Irene"

11/3/2009 12:45:38 PM

adios and vaya con dios

11/3/2009 12:46:22 PM

Quote :

"Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness we went through,i am very busy here"

"SERIOUSLY ASSHOLE, I'M REAL BUSY HERE, I DON'T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY TO SHARE JOY WITH YOUR SORRY ASS AFTER ALL OF THE SUFFERNESS WE WENT THROUGH."

11/3/2009 12:47:21 PM

Quote :

"Dear Sir, can you pls help me financially as probably the first German citizen? Thank you. Yours sincerely, Dr. Heitzmann"

Quote :

"FIRST GERMAN CITIZEN"

4/19/2010 3:37:11 PM

this reminds me of this

lol P-P-P-POWERBOOK

4/19/2010 6:43:08 PM

Nigerian scammers piss me off more than almost any other type of criminal

they're trying to get rich by utterly destroying somebody else's life

I almost think this kind of shit deserves the death penalty

4/19/2010 7:01:30 PM

vaya con dios

4/19/2010 7:05:57 PM

^^ That's hilarious.

I was hoping for pics of the guys unpacking it though.

4/19/2010 7:06:49 PM

Quote :

"they're trying to get rich by utterly destroying somebody else's life"

They can only "destroy" you financially, though.

Not that I'm defending them.

4/19/2010 7:07:40 PM

at first I read "Not that I'm defriending them"

4/19/2010 7:10:37 PM

He's not giving up.

Quote :

"Dear Sir, can you pls help me financially???????????? Regards, Dr. Heitzmann from Germany"

4/20/2010 3:12:35 PM

Quote :

"Dear Sir, can you pls help me?????????????????? Thank you. Dr. Heitzmann"

5/10/2010 2:02:37 PM

lol...i love this thread...I dont get any of these ..I know its a good thing, but they are hilarious.

Who was the guy that replied to an add on craigslist for a giant diamond?

5/10/2010 2:10:43 PM

Quote :

"ATTN;ORDERING BENEFICIARY, THIS IS TO LET YOU KNOW THAT A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY WAS DEPOSITED IN OUR BANK,THE ABBEY NATIONAL BANK PLC.,LONDON IN YOUR FAVOUR SO PLEASE THE ATTACHMENT FILE CAREFULLY FOR MORE DETAILS. THANKS. MR.CHERYL HUGHES."

MR. CHERYL HUGHES!!

6/17/2010 7:07:33 PM

i heard some IT guy at a job orientation say that like 99% of all emails are spam but it's usually blocked. there's no telling what other gems are out there

6/17/2010 7:10:54 PM

Quote :

"Dear Sir/Ma, I am Barrister Dean Gulzar (Esq.) the Personal Attorney of Late Sgt. James L.Montgomery ,a citizen of your Country and an American soldier that served in the military with the Us army's 3rd infantry division before he retired and dead.please carefully read attachment file for more details. Regards, Barr Dean Gulzar (Esq)"

Quote :

"RETIRED AND DEAD"

6/19/2010 10:56:44 PM