saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays
this dudes twitter is fairly entertaining 10/24/2009 11:22:04 PM |
Chop All American 6271 Posts user info edit post |
old as dirt 10/24/2009 11:22:26 PM |
ncsuallday Sink the Flagship 9818 Posts user info edit post |
1
[Edited on October 24, 2009 at 11:22 PM. Reason : 2 ]
10/24/2009 11:22:32 PM |
LunaK LOSER :( 23634 Posts user info edit post |
Old but funny 10/24/2009 11:22:48 PM |
fleetwud AmbitiousButRubbish 49741 Posts user info edit post |
#611,526 10/24/2009 11:23:04 PM |
punchmonk Double Entendre 22300 Posts user info edit post |
I am following that person now. 10/24/2009 11:25:38 PM |
wwwebsurfer All American 10217 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."" |
Quote : | ""Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."" |
Quote : | ""You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."" |
Quote : | ""Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."" |
Quote : | ""Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son."" |
Quote : | "'You don't know shit, and you're not shit. Don't take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up."" |
Quote : | ""I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"" |
10/25/2009 12:11:16 AM |
crazy_carl All American 4073 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."" |
10/25/2009 1:07:01 AM |
Sleik All American 11177 Posts user info edit post |
older than dad himself 10/25/2009 2:46:41 AM |
wdprice3 BinaryBuffonary 45912 Posts user info edit post |
fuck twitter 10/25/2009 9:39:43 AM |
JeepMan311 All American 1620 Posts user info edit post |
"son you will never be the man your grandfather was"-my dad 10/25/2009 10:33:43 AM |
OopsPowSrprs All American 8383 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."" |
10/25/2009 11:00:00 AM |
Flying Tiger All American 2341 Posts user info edit post |
If you're gonna smoke pot, use clean needles! 10/25/2009 11:03:43 AM |
Jeepxj420 All American 6755 Posts user info edit post |
twitter is retarded.
My pops always ssays shit like........"Thats good enough for the girls I go out with" 10/25/2009 11:18:44 AM |
Madman All American 3412 Posts user info edit post |
".... so I says ...." 10/25/2009 11:45:23 AM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
apparently pilgrimshoes has also become a new convert 11/11/2009 2:11:01 PM |
Jeepin4x4 #Pack9 35774 Posts user info edit post |
apparently this dude just signed a deal with CBS for a pilot series based on his twitter 11/11/2009 2:12:38 PM |
poopface All American 29367 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""It's watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don't even pay rent, just do it. Shit."" |
i'm dyin over here hahahahahahaha11/11/2009 2:12:51 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
you guys have some fucked up family 11/11/2009 2:13:14 PM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""I hate paying bills... Son, don't say "me too." I didn't say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of "go away."" |
hahahahahaha11/11/2009 2:35:39 PM |
Pikey All American 6421 Posts user info edit post |
Oh man, you mean other people knew about this?
I thought I was the only one in the world who knew about this little gem. I thought it was my little secret. I thought I had something special. 11/11/2009 2:43:54 PM |
poopface All American 29367 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."" |
hahaha11/11/2009 2:50:59 PM |
Wordsworth All American 2888 Posts user info edit post |
I too follow this person 11/11/2009 4:21:17 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
i too think twitter is gay 11/11/2009 4:24:01 PM |
crazy_carl All American 4073 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face.. My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching." " |
didnt [user]WilliamJoel[/user] recently have an ingrown tonail thread??
[Edited on November 20, 2009 at 10:17 AM. Reason : ??]11/20/2009 10:16:21 AM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "apparently this dude just signed a deal with CBS for a pilot series based on his twitter" |
ya, he got a book deal and a pilot on cbs because he set up a fucking twitter account11/20/2009 10:45:01 AM |
icyhotpatch All American 1885 Posts user info edit post |
this looks so fake/not funny 11/20/2009 10:51:37 AM |
crazy_carl All American 4073 Posts user info edit post |
your face looks so fake/not funny 11/20/2009 11:00:18 AM |
Biofreak70 All American 33197 Posts user info edit post |
YOU ARE FACE!!!! 11/20/2009 11:01:10 AM |
elkaybie All American 39626 Posts user info edit post |
4^ that's what I'm gonna do...start tweeting or blogging about something in hopes to make it big
until then, I'm living off the gov't! 11/20/2009 11:03:36 AM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Everybody's broke, so here's the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit." |
11/25/2009 6:43:56 PM |
LunaK LOSER :( 23634 Posts user info edit post |
Ha I saw that one. 11/25/2009 7:07:30 PM |
twoozles All American 20735 Posts user info edit post |
i need to start writing down the shit my dad says, it's pretty damn good. 11/25/2009 7:08:16 PM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works." |
11/30/2009 8:29:28 PM |
Fermat All American 47007 Posts user info edit post |
aww man. why couldn't a cable company have picked him up. hbo or f/x
its going to lose soooo much zazz when they neuter it for broadcast tv 11/30/2009 8:32:29 PM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I have now officially driven further than Tiger Woods." |
ok, ima call bullshit on this one. i've heard numerous other people say it and it just doesnt seem like something he would say12/1/2009 6:39:28 PM |
LunaK LOSER :( 23634 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."" |
12/7/2009 1:54:40 PM |
sparky Garage Mod 12301 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""Anytime someone sells you food in a sack, it's not a sack of food, it's a sack of shit."" |
12/7/2009 4:29:11 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
gods not a dumbshit. nice 12/7/2009 4:30:57 PM |
alibaby All American 8217 Posts user info edit post |
my favorite so far... "It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works." 12/7/2009 4:46:47 PM |
9one9 All American 21497 Posts user info edit post |
This could be me. 12/7/2009 4:54:33 PM |
twoozles All American 20735 Posts user info edit post |
this isn't from that site, my dad actually just said this to me about his first wife: "you know how opposites attract. she was pregnant, and i was not." 1/8/2010 7:24:44 PM |
dweedle All American 77386 Posts user info edit post |
it's not really funny....all he does is cusses
(the site)
[Edited on January 8, 2010 at 7:26 PM. Reason : ] 1/8/2010 7:25:56 PM |
MrsCake All American 1146 Posts user info edit post |
"You smell like a French whore. What are you wearing?" -my dad (to my brother) 1/8/2010 8:40:16 PM |
crazy_carl All American 4073 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "No presents goddamit. I'm turning 74. I don't need you to commemorate that with a fucking Barnes and Noble gift card" |
1/13/2010 6:24:34 PM |
ParksNrec All American 8742 Posts user info edit post |
http://mashable.com/2010/02/19/shit-my-dad-says-pilot 2/19/2010 3:40:20 PM |
saps852 New Recruit 80068 Posts user info edit post |
wtf
i dont see that as a good fit at all 2/19/2010 3:42:02 PM |
merbig Suspended 13178 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "“Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back."" |
2/19/2010 4:05:30 PM |
hunterb2003 All American 14423 Posts user info edit post |
Kevin Smith talked about this in a SModcast a while back 2/19/2010 5:24:23 PM |
H8R wear sumthin tight 60155 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "how much do you lack?" |
but lack sounds like like
<3 my Daddy2/19/2010 5:25:15 PM |