So I lost my drivers license in the ocean on Memorial Day. I went to the DMV today expecting to get a new one on the spot. Now I have to wait 5-10 days?!

AND NO GROCERY STORE WILL ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT TEMP PIECE OF SHIT AS A VALID FORM OF ID. WHAT THE FUCK, NC DMV?!

6/4/2010 7:55:48 PM

just do what you did when you were underage

6/4/2010 7:56:48 PM

did you lose your birth certificate too

6/4/2010 7:56:48 PM

6/4/2010 7:56:54 PM

6/4/2010 7:57:43 PM

passport?

6/4/2010 7:57:46 PM

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]
I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics they say he's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos
You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward
I got beef with radio if i don't play they show
They don't play my hits i don't give a shit SO
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 problems but the bitch aint one
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Two]
The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case
So I...pull over to the side of the road
I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?
"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "
"Liscense and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit
"Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?"
"Or somebody important or somethin'?"
Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Chorus]
99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
if you havin girl problems
i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one hit me


99 Problems but a bitch ain't one
if you havin girl problems
i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
Hit me

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type loud as a motor bike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain
And there I go trapped in the kit kat again
Back through the system with the riff raff again
Fiends on the floor scratchin again
paparazzi's with they cameras snappin them
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African
All because this fool was harrasin' them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one.
Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick
It's your boy

6/4/2010 7:57:49 PM

while the circumstance surrounding you lost license is unfortunate, this happens to people all the time. i can't feel sorry for you.

6/4/2010 7:57:53 PM

Hmph. When I lost mine a few years ago, I was able to get a new one on the spot.

6/4/2010 7:58:33 PM

use your passport!

OR

just have friends over to your house and drink.

^ they changed it now. they give you a piece of paper and mail the new one to you. happens when you renew too.

oh so a word to the wise: renew your license ASAP when you see its about to expire cause its annoying to wait for the new one and some places are hardcore about the expiration date. and mine took longer than 2 weeks to come cause you know, it is the DMV.

[Edited on June 4, 2010 at 7:59 PM. Reason : .]

6/4/2010 7:58:34 PM

I went to food lion with my social security card, my birth certificate, this piece of shit temp id and my nc state id and the fucker said, "Sorry, I can't sell it to you because you don't have a valid picture id. If you had an expired id, you could use that. But it's the rules".

Don't fucking treat me like im 16 you fuck face. FUCK!

6/4/2010 7:59:13 PM

or the n00b could stay out of the sauce for 5-10 days

6/4/2010 7:59:39 PM

his job is probably more important to him than your beer.

6/4/2010 8:00:21 PM

Quote :

"I went to food lion with my social security card, my birth certificate, this piece of shit temp id and my nc state id and the fucker said, "Sorry, I can't sell it to you because you don't have a valid picture id. If you had an expired id, you could use that. But it's the rules". "

well the SS and BC thing kinda makes sense don't ya think? you could just be using anyones. you should have thought about this before you went swimming with your license. DUHHHHHH.

6/4/2010 8:00:54 PM

^^^^it would've worked if you were a girl.

[Edited on June 4, 2010 at 8:01 PM. Reason : ^]

6/4/2010 8:00:54 PM

ill buy you some for a nominal fee

6/4/2010 8:00:55 PM

Why couldn't the DMV print a photo of me on the paper?

6/4/2010 8:01:46 PM

send me your photo, i'll do it. it'll be in the mail to you in 5-10 days.

6/4/2010 8:02:30 PM

bureaucracy at work

6/4/2010 8:03:01 PM

Because that would be sooooo easy to fake.

6/4/2010 8:03:15 PM

Quote :

"Why couldn't the DMV print a photo of me on the paper? "

maybe this is a blessing in disguise. your brain cells seem like they could use a break!

6/4/2010 8:04:33 PM

Quote :

"^^^^it would've worked if you were a girl."

You bet your ass it would've. I'd just shake my tits in his face and he'd "Make an exception" for me.

6/4/2010 8:04:57 PM

jesus. just get a friend to go buy it.

6/4/2010 8:05:48 PM

^^ candidate for the "quotes out of context" thread

[Edited on June 4, 2010 at 8:06 PM. Reason : bb]

6/4/2010 8:05:54 PM

Yeah I'm waiting for mine to arrive as well. Luckily I have the expired photo L's to go along with that ridiculous printout. Putting your photo on that piece of paper and actually classifying it as valid ID would just open the floodgates for underage drinking. Anyone with a photojet and some cardstock would be trying to buy beer. Same goes for just presenting that form with some easy to fake NCSU ID.

6/4/2010 8:06:20 PM

bimbo

6/4/2010 8:07:13 PM

sometimes places don't even accept the expired license and piece of paper

its definitely irritating. but i mean...it is what it is.

6/4/2010 8:07:14 PM

did Solinari call u in for drivin drunk?

6/4/2010 8:09:47 PM

just roll in, grab you a case and throw a jackson on the counter and walk out

6/4/2010 8:19:24 PM

just go to the grocery store and pick out a young cashier and they probably won't card you. Unless you're a pussyboy

6/4/2010 8:22:26 PM

Use your passport negro

6/4/2010 8:23:33 PM

because everyone has one of those

6/4/2010 8:26:48 PM

we aren't all so worldly whiteboy

6/4/2010 8:27:06 PM

well then i guess you aren't fucking drinking

6/4/2010 8:29:36 PM

wait, losing his license prevents him from fucking now too? damn, he's out cold.

6/4/2010 8:30:27 PM

I request a photo ID from all of my prospective partners.

6/4/2010 8:31:16 PM

hot damn, no drinking for 5-10 days?????? whatever will you do

6/4/2010 8:32:32 PM

^^ must be at least 18 to ride

6/4/2010 8:34:27 PM

I'm sorry you can't get your six-pack of Smirnoff Ice, bro.

6/4/2010 8:36:33 PM

So many trolls in Chit-Chat....

6/4/2010 8:45:14 PM

Just steal someone's license who happens to look like you and is of valid age. DUH SO EASY

6/4/2010 8:51:03 PM

pay a hobo like the good old days

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/4/2010 9:06:43 PM

Do you not have friends? Honest question.. no trolling here.

6/4/2010 9:07:47 PM

get some dirty clothes and a ratty blanket and go lay on the sidewalk until someone buys you some wine

6/4/2010 9:08:05 PM

there has GOT to be some hobos where you live

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

6/4/2010 9:08:13 PM

Quote :

"did Solinari call u in for drivin drunk?"

aaaaahahahahahahaha

6/4/2010 11:44:56 PM

i thought for sure this would be a shitty joe walsh thread

6/4/2010 11:47:50 PM

Quote :

"i thought for sure this would be a shitty joe walsh thread"

LOL

6/5/2010 1:33:59 AM

i, too, thought you were ass-raping a Joe Walsh song.

6/5/2010 11:21:30 AM

I had this problem once but I am a regular at several bars so I could still drink just not from the store.

6/5/2010 11:27:18 AM