I'm completely fucking serious about this thread, it's not just parroty.

I ate way too much food at dinner. The feeling of just having eaten way too much food, to me, is one of those "oh god I'm dying" "first world problem" scenarios that needs recording.

The other first world feels like death problem is stubbing your toe/foot really hard.



Join me in wussing out.

7/22/2010 9:25:59 PM

mononucleosis

7/22/2010 9:26:34 PM

you know, a really good, long, hard shit will solve that first one.

7/22/2010 9:26:54 PM

when an appendage goes to sleep for way too long and the pins and needles last way too long

7/22/2010 9:28:19 PM

^This and getting an electrical shock.

7/22/2010 9:29:33 PM

getting the wind knocked out of you


when it happens to you for a split second you will think you are about to die

7/22/2010 9:31:16 PM

a wine hangover

fucking horrid

7/22/2010 9:31:30 PM

Waterboarding... Or so I have heard.

7/22/2010 9:33:18 PM

Quote :

"mononucleosis"

getting tonsils removed

really really bad multi-day hangovers

7/22/2010 9:35:58 PM

food poisoning

7/22/2010 9:36:04 PM

Solitude, or so I hear.

7/22/2010 9:37:07 PM

reading posts by Solinari

7/22/2010 9:38:02 PM

living in Washington, NC

I may as well be dead.

7/22/2010 9:38:04 PM

Listening to Top 40s music.

7/22/2010 9:39:30 PM

watching The Sweetest Thing

7/22/2010 9:39:36 PM

Haha, my girlfriend is reading over my shoulder.

Girlfriend: "OH MY GOD this happened to me the other day."
Me: "Why dear did you feel like death?"
Girlfriend: "Two girls from Meredith asked me to settle a debate they were having--is a hurricane just a tornado that gets really big, or is a tornado just a miniature hurricane?"
Me: "MEREDITH."

7/22/2010 9:42:44 PM

you can always tell a meredith girl. you just cant tell her much

7/22/2010 9:46:00 PM

Eating a shitload of chips, fries, bread, or rice and then taking your first sip of drink. All that shit gets clogged in the esophagus...painful.

7/22/2010 9:47:21 PM

Waking up really late in the day gives you dat atrophy.

7/22/2010 9:48:16 PM

Finding out the person you trust the most has lied to you which ended up devastating you.

7/22/2010 9:51:06 PM

Panic attacks.

7/22/2010 9:52:54 PM

the gas chamber in basic training

7/22/2010 9:53:59 PM

gallstones

7/22/2010 9:54:49 PM

kick in the nuts

7/22/2010 9:58:30 PM

love

7/22/2010 9:59:56 PM

^^^^Everything I've heard about that is terrifying.

7/22/2010 10:02:19 PM

working outside when the heat index is over 100.

7/22/2010 10:02:20 PM

working outside

7/22/2010 10:02:53 PM

Quote :

"the gas chamber in basic training"

oh goody, can't wait

7/22/2010 10:03:47 PM

you're joining the military?

7/22/2010 10:05:25 PM

yup

7/22/2010 10:05:58 PM

why?

7/22/2010 10:06:55 PM

Pretty, upstanding women are allowed to join the military?

Please don't leave us.

7/22/2010 10:08:38 PM

Quote :

"the gas chamber in basic training"

God I'd forgotten. That day I learned if ever I were barricaded inside my house, all they have to do is fire tear gas and I'm out.

7/22/2010 10:08:46 PM

eating to much salt....wait, that can kill you.

7/22/2010 10:23:15 PM

Drinking a beverage and you accidentally trap air in the wrong part of your throat and said beverage gets into your wind pipe and FUCK hurts.

7/23/2010 1:47:54 AM

That turd inside you that's screaming to get out but is just a tad too big.

[Edited on July 23, 2010 at 1:51 AM. Reason : girth]

7/23/2010 1:50:58 AM

migraines

7/23/2010 1:54:25 AM

rocky mountain spotted fever

7/23/2010 2:55:37 AM

Shots of everclear (as long as it's not too many shots, then it will kill you obviously)

7/23/2010 3:19:01 AM

Ear infection

7/23/2010 3:29:17 AM

Quote :

"a wine hangover fucking horrid"

7/23/2010 3:52:10 AM

Quote :

"when an appendage goes to sleep for way too long and the pins and needles last way too long"

When vomiting turns to dry heaving

7/23/2010 7:44:17 AM

Dengue Fever: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/07/22/dengue.fever/index.html

7/23/2010 7:47:34 AM

Quote :

"mononucleosis"

pussy!

7/23/2010 7:57:06 AM

mono wasn't that bad... lyme disease kicked my ass something fierce though

7/23/2010 7:59:02 AM

wait why are you joining the military?

7/23/2010 8:01:51 AM

you're really calling me a pussy when you see over half the other people's responses here

7/23/2010 8:19:07 AM

a gallbladder attack

7/23/2010 8:52:04 AM

PP's jello. Granted I'm sure that could kill you if you ate enough.

7/23/2010 8:53:36 AM