I wanted to get TWW opinion on a situation regarding myself, my girlfriend (J), and her roommate.
My girlfriend shares a bathroom with one of her roommates. Apperently though this roommate takes serious
offense to me leaving my toothbrush in the toothbrush holder in their bathroom.
J and I have been dating for nearly 2 years (so its not like I am some new flavor of the week
leaving my shit in the bathroom). According to the roommate my toothbrush being there makes her "feel like
i'm the 4th roommate or that I live there." To appease her, J rolled over and gave in to the complaint and stores
my toothbrush under the sink.

I though find this completely ridiculous, a personnal attack on our relationship, and a sign of blantant disrespect. Besides I do not want my toothbrush under the nasty sink.
There are 4 slots on the toothbrush holder. My g/f is the only one with a toothbrush in the holder as the roommate does not even use it (she keeps her toothbrush in her hygeine kit). I stay there at least once, sometimes twice a week, so its practical, logical, and rational, to keep a toothbrush there instead of carrying one over everytime. Afterall its not like i'm keeping spare deodarant, razor, shaving cream, comb, and other shit obstructing their sink/closet.

Me and this roommate get along, although we have exchanged words about other minor issues
previously but always have reconciled. My g/f sees this as "no big deal" but I want her to stand up to her roommates rediculous request or I will. J is often passive and not very assertive; so part of it is I am tired of her roommates/friends consciously or subconsciously walking over her.

What is tWw's opinion? Should I/her respect her roommates feelings or does J need to draw the line. I understand having to comprimise with roommates (I have PLENTY of experience with that) but part of being a Big Girl is this chick realizing she can not always get her way.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 1:51 PM. Reason : a]

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 1:53 PM. Reason : a]

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:02 PM. Reason : z]

7/27/2010 1:50:42 PM

do you pay rent there?

no?

shut the fuck up then.

7/27/2010 1:52:06 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 1:53:31 PM

No, but its part of the trend i've seen with this roommate coercing/bullying J into accepting her demands and choices.

My roommate's fuck-buddy practially kept her entire make-up kit, shampoo and conditioner at my place. I never once thought twice about it as long as it did not overtake my storage space or ability to use the bathroom.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 1:56 PM. Reason : a]

7/27/2010 1:54:45 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 1:54:48 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

Seriously.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 1:55 PM. Reason : a]

7/27/2010 1:55:11 PM

In all honesty, the three of them probably bring home guys for gang bangs when you aren't around and they got tired of trying to explain away the fourth toothbrush.

7/27/2010 1:55:15 PM

Quote :

"so its practical, logical, and rational,"

I found your problem. Many women seem not to be able to think in these terms.

In all seriousness though, I could understand her roommate's stance if you were staying there more often than not but one or two nights a week shouldnt matter. The toothbrush issue is beyond stupid on her part.

7/27/2010 1:55:34 PM

p.s.

*ridiculous

7/27/2010 1:56:54 PM

I agree that it is absurd, but you gotta pick your battles. I don't see this one being worth it. Just eat/drink her food when she isn't around and call it even.

The last thing you want is to "win" the argument and then one day you notice your toothbrush smells like toilet water.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:01 PM. Reason : l]

7/27/2010 1:58:44 PM

Quote :

" I found your problem. Many women seem not to be able to think in these terms. In all seriousness though, I could understand her roommate's stance if you were staying there more often than not but one or two nights a week shouldnt matter. The toothbrush issue is beyond stupid on her part. "

thanks for some real input. Part of this is beyond just my stupid toothbrush. A lot is coaching J into learning to fight her battles and not just let people tell her what to do. This particular situation just happened to effect me and just wanted a sanity check.

7/27/2010 2:01:41 PM

don't discount the copypaste as being anything less than real input. you don't live there, you don't get to make the rules

if it's about more than a toothbrush, shoulda said so in the first place

7/27/2010 2:03:31 PM

Quote :

"The last thing you want is to "win" the argument and then one day you notice your toothbrush smells like toilet water. "

True. Just to put things in perspective. This bitch left me a note telling me note, one time when I spent the night, to not store my beer in fridgerator. I think she thought that since she was under 21, merely having beer in the fridge meant the police were going to raid the house and give all of us tickets.

7/27/2010 2:05:52 PM

it's not your house

part of being a Big Boy is respecting your host

7/27/2010 2:06:47 PM

also allow me to add weight

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 2:06:47 PM

over a toothbrush? really?

7/27/2010 2:06:49 PM

Sounds like you have more problems with the roommate than your girlfriend.

7/27/2010 2:07:14 PM

Quote :

"but part of being a Big Girl is this chick realizing she can not always get her way."

What are you dating, a five year old?

I've banged a few chicks in my day, and I reckon if I told any of them to "be a Big Girl", it wouldn't have gone over so smoothly

7/27/2010 2:07:44 PM

Quote :

"you don't live there, you don't get to make the rules "

You missed the point....

J wants me to stay there sometimes and provided a toothbrush for me to use. This is not about me as much as it is with J having her roommates controlling shit.

Quote :

"be a Big Girl"

was a refrence to the roommate.

Yes it is not my house, but the roommate is also not the owner/landlord/queen of the apartment.


[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:11 PM. Reason : a]

7/27/2010 2:07:54 PM

Quote :

"The last thing you want is to "win" the argument and then one day you notice your toothbrush smells like toilet water."

:-\

7/27/2010 2:08:13 PM

Is the roommate attractive?

That would dictate my strategy

7/27/2010 2:10:51 PM

^^^Why does your toothbrush need to stay in the bathroom all the time when you don't live there and aren't there all the time? Seems like leaving it available for anyone that's visiting would be more appropriate than you claiming ownership to it.

7/27/2010 2:11:56 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 2:13:33 PM

i'm not going to post in this thread because if I did, it would probably be something rude and snarky

7/27/2010 2:20:37 PM

I don't see staying over 1 or 2 times a week warrants keeping a toothbrush in the holder on the sink. I would think you would keep a dop/travel bag over there, with extras of everything, but not a toothbrush on the sink.

Keeping a bag over, would not make sense if you use the gym, as in that case you could just use your gym bag stuff.


This isn't about you and your toothbrush, is it?

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:22 PM. Reason : ^ it's tww...]

7/27/2010 2:22:10 PM

I guess I'm the only one ever to have left an [insert hygiene object here] at their g/f or b/f house.

Quote :

"I don't see staying over 1 or 2 times a week warrants keeping a toothbrush in the holder on the sink. I would think you would keep a dop/travel bag over there, with extras of everything, but not a toothbrush on the sink. "

true.

The point is that J, who pays rent and lives there, wants/told me leave my toothbrush there, yet her roommate queen of the apartment gets to decide whats right or not.

No matter if it is a big deal or no deal (which this toothbrush issue really is), J needs to assert herself on apartment matters with roommates.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:25 PM. Reason : a]

7/27/2010 2:23:05 PM

Quote :

"The point is that J, who pays rent and lives there, wants/told me leave my toothbrush there, yet her roommate queen of the apartment gets to decide whats right or not."

Correct, J pays rent and lives there. What if the other roommate got a boyfriend and told him to leave his toothbrush in the 4th holder?

7/27/2010 2:24:58 PM

then 3 out of the 4 slots would be used.... big whopp

7/27/2010 2:26:29 PM

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:28 PM. Reason : ]

7/27/2010 2:27:47 PM

i honestly thought this was going to be a thread about having wars with toothbrushes as weapons

7/27/2010 2:31:44 PM

If your girlfriend just says, "He's putting his toothbrush in there and I don't care what you say," she becomes the one who's queen of the apartment and her word goes. This is a really stupid issue for her roommate to fight over, but it's also a stupid issue for you to get hung up on. And I am guessing there's more to the story than purely the toothbrush holder that you either didn't include or don't know about.

7/27/2010 2:34:50 PM

Quote :

"I am guessing there's more to the story than purely the toothbrush holder that you either didn't include or don't know about. "

This could be true....

Quote :

"This is a really stupid issue for her roommate to fight over, but it's also a stupid issue for you to get hung up on"

True but I just see it as stepping stones. Today its boyfriends toothbrush, tomorrow its dictating no visitors past 10 pm even on weekends,
and she gets priority to take over the TV since she voluenteered to provide the one for the living room.

( I actually had a roommates girlfriend think she could show up and put on her program since it was her b/f's TV even if I was watching it)

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 2:39 PM. Reason : a]

7/27/2010 2:39:34 PM

ITT HUR wants his g/f to start a roommate civil war about a non-issue. Why would you choose this as your battleground dude?

7/27/2010 2:42:03 PM

Quote :

"Why would you choose this as your battleground dude?"

7/27/2010 2:45:43 PM

Have your girlfriend buy 3 more toothbrushes. Label one as "J's boyfriend that doesn't live here" and the other two as "Guest". Put them all in the toothbrush holder.

If the roomate complains, none of the toothbrushes belong to you. They belong to your girlfriend.

Never use the one that has your name. Use one of the Guest toothbrushes.

7/27/2010 2:53:58 PM

Good grief. While agree that you have little say in the matter, just but a $1.00 toothbrush plastic holder thingy from Target and keep the thing in your GF's room! Sheesh.

7/27/2010 2:59:35 PM

Could your threads BE any worse!?

7/27/2010 3:11:43 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 3:11:45 PM

Is this about the fact that the other girl is disgusted at the thought of even the possibility that your toothbrush might touch hers?

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 3:17 PM. Reason : Just asking.]

7/27/2010 3:17:11 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

7/27/2010 3:18:50 PM

The room mate obviously wants to bwn.

she wants you to brush her teeth with your Johnson.


You don't pay rent there.
Gotta pay your bills somehow.

7/27/2010 3:21:30 PM

i wouldnt want a racist piece of shit to put a toothbrush in my bathroom either...

7/27/2010 3:22:47 PM

wow, just, wow

7/27/2010 3:23:38 PM

@hooksaw:

Quote :

"My g/f is the only one with a toothbrush in the holder as the roommate does not even use it (she keeps her toothbrush in her hygeine kit)."

Shared bathrooms FTL. I mean really it's a stupid thing to get pissy over, but then again I've also had a roommate whose girlfriend basically moved in without the rest of the roommates' consent (we told him to leave when the lease was up) so perhaps the roommate is seeing it as a slippery slope argument. And to play devil's advocate, why does your girlfriend get to make the rules over her roommate in a shared bathroom?

There are obviously deeper issues here...there always are.

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 3:37 PM. Reason : d]

7/27/2010 3:37:20 PM

Hmmm. Chit chat invades the Lounge again.

7/27/2010 3:52:02 PM

If the girlfriend, who DOES pay rent there, wants the toothbrush in the holder that does not directly impact the roommate then the roommate needs to shut the fuck up and find a different battle to fight.

7/27/2010 4:00:49 PM

personally, i think you should hide your toothbrush because there's no telling what those crazies will do to it in when they're having a bad day.

7/27/2010 4:11:41 PM

First it's toothbrushes, the next thing you know he'll be mad bc his gf won't stand up for his right to their parking spaces

7/27/2010 4:18:41 PM

but she wasn't even home when I parked there. All she has to do is come in and ask me to move, and I'll be glad to!

7/27/2010 4:27:52 PM

Quote :

"do you pay rent there? no? shut the fuck up then."

[Edited on July 27, 2010 at 4:45 PM. Reason : *]

7/27/2010 4:45:13 PM