WE GOT DIFFERENT STROKES, WE GOT, DIFFERENT STROKES TO RULE THE WORLD!!!!

8/6/2010 12:47:13 AM

Is this a thread about masturbation techniques?

8/6/2010 12:48:01 AM

^came in here to post that

8/6/2010 12:48:51 AM

It can be whatever you want it to be.

8/6/2010 12:49:09 AM

Uh, well ok. Umm, tell us more? I'm sure someone will be interested.

8/6/2010 12:49:44 AM

I'm ambidextrous when i masturbate. I can go left or right. I fine tuned this skill by browsing porn. I don't want to stop, so I keep one hand on the mouse/keyboard, and another on my cock.

8/6/2010 12:51:49 AM

A lil' switch play eh?

8/6/2010 12:52:50 AM

Of course.

8/6/2010 12:55:35 AM

Did you intentionally fuck up the lyrics? Because I don't even need to google it to know that they say "It takes different strokes to rule the world." What's up with this "We got" shit?

8/6/2010 12:56:28 AM

only time I've ever jerked w/ my right was when I broke my left wrist

8/6/2010 12:56:50 AM

^^ I couldn't be assed enough to google the lyrics. Does that make you mad?

8/6/2010 1:17:25 AM

I was hoping the OP would be "For Different Folks, and So On and So On and Scooby-Dooby-Doo"

8/6/2010 1:32:38 AM

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum

8/6/2010 1:48:44 AM

So The Facts of Life was a run off of Diff'rent Strokes. I never knew that until just now.

8/6/2010 1:57:34 AM

Quote :

"^^ I couldn't be assed enough to google the lyrics. Does that make you mad?"

It doesn't anger me. You should google your mind better in the future though and get that shit right.

8/6/2010 2:01:33 AM

^ Why?

8/6/2010 2:03:34 AM

Because it doesn't actually take different strokes to move the world. It takes the right strokes. Otherwise you're just swinging your stroking device wildly and not making any progress.

8/6/2010 2:05:03 AM

You make a good point. I shall watch my stroking device int he future. Otherwise, I may stroke the wrong person in the wrong fashion, and we don't want that.

8/6/2010 2:06:25 AM

exactly

8/6/2010 2:06:46 AM

Everybody's got a special kind of story. Everybody finds a way to shine

8/6/2010 11:41:26 AM

Quote :

"Different Strokes"

Ischemic strokes..... Hemorrhagic strokes.....

8/6/2010 11:46:44 AM

Also, the line is move the world, not "rule the world." Refer to the first line to see the continuity: Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum....

8/6/2010 11:47:04 AM

You know I don't care.

8/6/2010 12:17:56 PM

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he's a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.

But they got, Different Strokes.
It takes, Different Strokes.
It takes, Different Strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not alot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....

Because it takes, Different Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Different Strokes to move the world.

8/6/2010 1:18:04 PM

Go For Distance - Part 2

Look, Ma, no hands!

Masturbate normally, but when you feel you are about to blow your load, take your hand off. You will feel the cum running up into your cock. At this point, start to "push" it out of you penis with your inner pelvic muscles. This may sound hard to do without hands, but it will all cum naturally when you try it. After a few tries, you'll get the timing just right and this makes for and excellent orgasm, not to mention the cum will fly out of your cock farther than usual!

Go For Distance

Sometimes one hand isn't enough:

Take the index and middle fingers of both hands and put them on the underside of your dick. Then place both thumbs on the top side and jack away. When the cum is about to flow, jack even harder. This will increase the amount and distance.

Twirl Your Head

Make both your heads spin:

Hold your hard cock slightly pointed towards the object you are lying on (this works best if you are lying on a bed propped up so you can visualize anything you feel like). Lube your penis with a line of lotion or anything you use. Put lube on the index finger of your free hand and twirl it around your head. When you feel the feeling (you will know what I mean after you do it) take the hand holding your penis and whack. You will release the best cum you've ever had. The feeling is great. Do it over and over. It's said to increase your stamina.

An Ass in the Hand (8/21/03)

A cheap anal sex simulation:

Bust out some lotion and rub a little on your dick till it's hard. Then stand up and turn your fist so your thumb is down and towards you and your knuckles face up. It should look like you're fucking a girl in the ass. Go in and out slowly until you cum all over the place.

Sit on Your Hands

Just clean up after, or someone could slip:

Put your hands underneath your thighs and jerk off your dick pushing it toward the floor. It's a great sensation and I love it!

Squat!

And you'll have a hand free to steady yourself:

Squat down real low, until your ass is hitting your feet. Then jack off. For some odd reason in this position you can get on hell of a orgasm in no time and you also will blow more cum than normal.

Thighmaster

I hate to say it, but this will probably work better if you shave your thighs first:

Lube the insides of your thighs. Then lean forward a bit and trap your cock between your them. Move your hips back and forth to create an up and down motion. You'll cum so hard you'll hit yourself in the face. Try it with a butt plug too. Awesome

Glove Love

Four fingers might be a bit much for a beginner:

With a lubricated surgical glove on the hand , insert four fingers into the anus at slight distances (how far in and apart are your choice - I prefer to have them no further apart than 3mm), the longest finger at the pleasure point. While moving the fingers from side to side, use a slight delay between each finger in order to create a rippling sensation. While doing this, hold the foreskin over the bell (head) in the cup of your hand and slowly rotate the penis in circles, getting slowly larger while slowly revealing the bell until fully exposed. While doing this, increase the speed of the ripple. If done correctly, you can get fantastic orgasms, *especially* if you stop close to peak, wait for a while and start again. Sometimes I like to use a surgical glove on my penis hand, usually with some kind of lubricant.

Squat!

This will really build up your glutes too:

Lube up your cock and in between the backs of your ankles. Put your feet close together and squat, placing your cock in between your feet. Then just do short squatting motions/knee bends.

Stop-and-go

For when you've got a lot of free time on your hands:

Masturbate to the point where you begin to feel the semen start to rise (this is actually a little bit past the point when you feel as if you are about to climax) and then stop all stimulation - remove your hand. Let the load of semen escape - usually nothing more than a dribble. Allow the penis to recover slightly - otherwise orgasm will be instantaneous & defeat the whole point. Repeat the action as many times as you like (or are capable of - my personal record is 12 ejaculations). Eventually you will reach the point when an orgasm becomes unavoidable and will be so intense that you will feel as if you are about to pass out.

Cross Your Fingers

Hand jive:

Make an "X" with your two index fingers, then put one of your thumbs on top of the other one. This should make a triangle. Put some lube around the inside of the triangle and move it up and down on your cock

Screw-Off Top

We posted something similar before, but this is more detailed:

Use your non-stroking hand and pull down the skin at the base of the penis until the skin becomes taut. Take some Vaseline or other lube and rub some on your palm between your thumb and index finger. Using both the index finger and thumb form the letter C and squeeze them just below tip of the penis. Twist back and forth like your trying to unscrew a cap off a soda-pop bottle, fast at first then slow down when you reach orgasm. This makes the orgasm intense.

[Edited on August 6, 2010 at 1:38 PM. Reason : ...]

8/6/2010 1:26:09 PM

Two hands

Yeah, but you need one hand free to fast forward the videotape:

First put some lubricant in the palm of your hand. Then, while jerking off with your other hand, rub the head of your penis with the lubricated one. For some reason, this feels an awful lot like sex, and makes your orgasm very strong.

Do the twist

You also might call this the "testicle tickle":

Lube up your hands, dick, balls, and ass. Spread your legs and with your left hand "tickle" your balls and play with them while the other jacks in an unusual way. Instead of stroking up and down, with fingers lubed, use the tips of your fingers to "twist" the head of your cock like you are opening a soda or ketchup bottle. Keep twisting and tickling, and occasionally reach down and finger your ass. You will cum hard.

Sock It To Me

I wonder what a "warm and slippery orgasm" feels like:

When I surf the net I get my cock nice and hard and slip a nice soft sock over it and then when I hit the picture that drives me to shoot my load I can keep pumping and don't have to worry about squirting all over myself. All the cum is in the sock and all it takes is a kleenex to wipe of my cock.

Easy Clean-Up (8/6/00)

Fun, practical, and tidy:

Masturbate over a sink with your balls resting on the cold enamel. When you are about to come shove the head of your dick under the cold tap. This gives you a great sensation and washes your dick at the same time.

Right there

Sophisticates calls this area the taint:

I usually proceed with a basic one handed jack off session. But as I am about to achieve orgasm, I press my middle finger between my balls and anus. Harder pressure means greater orgasm.

Shower of Power

Sounds like you've gotta use both hands. Be careful not to slip:

If you have a power shower, or any powerful shower spray, squat down and aim it at your asshole whilst jacking off. It really heightens the sensation as you cum and makes you squirt a lot harder and better.

Dip 'em

Try it with chicken soup, you'll get matzo balls:

Get a cup of warm water ready and set it aside. Then jack off, however you do it. When your about to cum, put your balls in the warm water. This may sound retarded, but it the best thing out there. Just make sure the water isn't too hot for safety reasons.

Pull It Tight

When using whatever method to masturbate place your off hand at the base of the penis, above the scrotum, and pull down so that the skin along the shaft of your penis is tight. This tends to increase sensitivity and will probably bring you to climax a bit faster, but it can provide a great sensation.

Hands Clasped

Take both hands and clasp them together with your fingers interlocking; don't forget the lube. Then, clasp your meat between both hands and rub up and down all the way up your shaft. Go slow and steady when your about to cum! Have fun!

Hand Rub

First, apply some lube. Then, Put one of your hands on the right of your shaft and then one of your hands on the left. Start rubbing like your hands are cold and you need to warm them up. At first, rub them fast then when you are near to the big gush rub slowly.

Anal Explorer

Lay down on your back or side and lube up 2 fingers. Gently slide them into your anus and apply pressure to the upside (when you're on your back) of your hole about 3-4 inches in. When you feel a new, nice sensation, you probably hit the prostate. This is where all the action goes on. Do what ever you please with the 2 fingers, I prefer a circular motion. When it starts to feel really, really good, just grab your cock, also lubed, and pump away. You'll most likely last about 5 seconds after that. I know anal stimulation is knocked by most guys, but try it, it's exquisite.

Peace Dude

ake a peace sign with both hands, and put them together overlapping the ends of the peace fingers so you have a mouth-shaped hole between the two peace fingers. Then, palms to pubes, fuck the fake mouth.

Space Boy

Lie on your back and cup your balls. Use vaseline to stroke to the point of cumming. After that hold in your jizz then calm yourself down (think of baseball). Raise your waist as high as you can and hump the air like a spaceship. I don't know why but for me and twenty of my friends this works. Just remember to thrust the air and you'll shoot cum so far up you'll have plenty of time to roll over and protect yourself from the re-entry.

Leftie-Rightie

Take your less dominant hand and hold onto your shaft, not touching the big head. Then take your dominant hand (the palm and fingers) and rub the head back and forth, fast and slow depending on which you like better. It feels real good. When you're almost at the point of your orgasm, start to stroke your dick real quick and you get one hell of an orgasm.

Switcheroo

Put your hand upside down around your penis, with your other pulling down or rubbing your scrotum. Now start jacking off; this fells like someone else is jacking you off. The climax is intense.

Who's that?

Position yourself so that a mirror only reflects only from the waist down. Now you can pretend that someone else is jerking you, since you can only see from the waist down. Or you can pretend you are jerking someone else... Not seeing your face, you are never sure whose hands are jerking you.



[Edited on August 6, 2010 at 1:44 PM. Reason : ...]

8/6/2010 1:26:58 PM

Patience is a virtue

Wait for a whole week before u whack it....it may seem hard but it is possible. Then the next time u whack off, it will feel 5 times as pleasurable as it usual. I usually just whack off on the weekends. It works best. But when you do whack off, for the first time in a week or so...do it as many times as u want. U will have a lot of jiz saved up. So it makes it even better.

Paper fetish

Take about 5 Kleenex and put them on top of each other to make one thick tissue. Then fold it in half. You should now have a really thick and long tissue. Put the middle of the tissue on the tip of your dick and fold down. Now jerk like you normally would. This method is soft on the big guy and extremely clean.

No hand wasted

Cup your balls with non whacking hand. Put your thumb below the shaft and stick whatever finger feels the best in you asshole. Beat and have a good one.

Swivel stick

Take both hands (lube optional) and place one hand on each side of your dick. Move one hand towards your feet while moving the other hand up towards your head, turning your dick about 1/4 a turn. After about 1/4 turn, switch directions, keep switching directions and turning your dick back and forth. The faster you go, the better it feels. When you are about to cum, and pass the "point of no return", just stroke it as usual until you are done.

Thighmaster

My favorite way to masturbate is by using my upper thighs. I keep my cock wedged in between my thigh muscles while I lay on my back or sit down. I slowly move my right thigh up and down while I press down on the upper shaft of my penis with my thumb, moving it around. Sometimes I use my index finger also to rub the head and open my urethra a little. I have the best orgasms this way because my whole cock is being stimulated. This technique has the added advantage of being pretty quiet if you do it right. I can usually get away with getting off in the bathroom at work. I just sit on the toilet and squeeze and rub away. I used to be able to do it with just my thighs when I was in grade school. I could just sit in class and get off while I was sitting at my desk.

Thumb in position

Lube up your cock real well with Vaseline Intensive Care or similar hand lotion. Then, stroke normally but with your hand placed with the thumb down (toward your body). Continue as long as you like. Guaranteed to result in a mind-blowing orgasm!

Under pressure

Placing pressure under your balls brings a great feeling but too much pressure will screw things up. I pull my underwear down like I'm pissing and hook it under my balls. This provides pretty good pressure. When you're ready to nut, hold it as hard as you can, (keep legs apart) when you can hold it no longer, let go.

Walk around in circles

Using your middle finger and your pointer put them just below the head of your dick and start turning them in circles. Do this with both hands, each set of fingers having it own circular motion. Once you have don it a few times try to using lube. It feels great!

Sack pull down

For enhanced pleasure while masturbating, pull down on you scrotum. It makes it feel like you're just sticking it into a nice tight pussy. Also, try pushing your cock down, toward your legs.

Counter top fun

Grease up your hand with baby lotion, go to some kinda counter that is equal height with your cock, make a fist on the counter and stick your dick in your hand and it's like doggy style.

Slow down, you're going too fast

Don't be so easy. Work for it. We all know that as a group men masturbate an awful lot. I've known men who do so 2 and 3 times a day almost every damn day. C'mon! Give it a rest, boys. Now, I'm not saying that you should just ignore your darling little dickie. Nay! Tug and rub and touch it all you want. Be my guest. Bring it right to the edge of release. Right to the point that it starts to drool precum. Then stop. Breath deeply for about a minute and then-when you know you can continue in a CONTROLLED manner-repeat the cycle of stroking towards orgasm. Again, bring yourself to the brink of creamy fulfillment and again stop. Do this several times.

Stroke-Leak-Stop-Breath-Stroke-Leak-Stop-Breath. After several go rounds you'll be an absolute mess, Badboy. The next step is to Stop. Yep, you read it right. STOP. Cease. Desist. Let go of that throbber, tuck it back into yer underpants, zip up, wash your peckery fingers and go do something else. You may have trouble at first with this exercise. An ice pack kept handy will assist you in keeping your urges in check as you repeat this exercise. A cold shower also helps. Abstain for a few days. Hold back for at least 24 to 48 hours longer than you normally do before going the whole hog. I assure you that the resulting orgasms intensity, volume and velocity will take you back to those days when you were as young as the girls you filthy little bastards dream about boffing. (gigl)

Slap me silly

I like to "slap it silly". I get my cock real hard, grab it by the base and slap it against my stomach and thighs. No pussy on earth could ever do that for me. Nothing makes me cum harder.

Take it slow

I like to lay down on my back and slowly rub my balls, chest nipples and of course my dick. I just keep feeling my whole body until my dick is rock hard. then I roll over and just graze the head of my dick on the sheets, oh it is so sensitive to the rubbing, When my nuts really start aching I roll over on my back and continue breathing steadily and do not tense up, make sure as your about to climax your muscles in your body are relaxed and your legs are flat. When you cum you will feel every drop of cum squirting out. This is the best multiple orgasm a guy can experience, it takes a little while but well worth it.

Rub-a-dub-dub

Sometimes I like to rub the head of my penis on my palm in circular motions... it may take a long time, but it feels wonderful once you cum.

Left-right, left-right

Lube up your dick well and both hands. Put your right hand on top your dick and stroke downward. Before you get all the way down, put your left hand on the top of your dick and stroke downward. Repeat. It will pleasure you like nothing else. It will feel like an endless pussy.

Hot and cold

I soak my right hand in cold water for about 5 minutes while I place a heating pad on my genitals for the same amount of time. When my cold hand hits my hot schlong, it's amazing.

Rope burn

Use a rope an tie up your penis head (corona... make sure its not too tight though....) just wag off as fast as you can and when you burst... it's really enjoyable.

Pillow maneuver

Lay out a few old pillows with a blanket over them on your bed. Put Vaseline or something on your palm and lay on the pillows. Just fuck your hand. The pillows act like a cushion and kinda feel like someone under you, and your hand is like well, fuckin'.

Try "The Stranger"

Try this masturbation technique. It's called "The Stranger". Sit on your hand for like 30 minutes until your hand goes numb, then jerk off like a madman. This gives you the feeling that a stranger is doing it for you.

[Edited on August 6, 2010 at 1:43 PM. Reason : ...]

8/6/2010 1:27:20 PM

8/6/2010 1:27:57 PM

I personally prefer the American Crawl

8/6/2010 1:35:46 PM