I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

10/1/2010 10:02:38 PM

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10/1/2010 10:03:27 PM

I love mine.

10/1/2010 10:03:53 PM

I loled a couple times

10/1/2010 10:04:53 PM

My job is awesome

10/1/2010 10:29:59 PM

that doesn't sound much like a job.

do you do surveillance or something?

what kind of mysteries?

10/1/2010 10:35:38 PM

I laughed a good bit too. Also took me until the solve mysteries and shit to catch on.

10/1/2010 10:35:40 PM

I should not have given up on reading through....lol

[Edited on October 1, 2010 at 10:39 PM. Reason : probably pay $5 per ride]

10/1/2010 10:39:32 PM

I, too, didn't get it until the punchline. gg

10/1/2010 10:47:38 PM

took me a sec, gg

10/1/2010 11:00:11 PM

Quote :

"do you do surveillance or something? what kind of mysteries?"

is this guy serious?

10/1/2010 11:30:31 PM

I hope so

10/1/2010 11:30:53 PM

i trolled the troll.

how does it feel?

five

DOLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRS

10/1/2010 11:47:03 PM

i have a job. that's good enough for me.

10/1/2010 11:47:40 PM

There's nothing wrong with fucking and enjoying yourself and college tends to be a place where some girls really take advantage of the new found freedom. I won't lie, college was an awakening experience for me...however...and here's a story, feel free to ignore and skip down to the 'Moral':

So freshman year, guy in my building, let's call him "Sean". So I notice him and think he's cute, ends up talking with me and a few friends. I proceed to tell him all about how I once kissed a girl (mind you this was back in the day when this was a 'big' deal. (Note, I was making this up, I'd never kissed a girl). Anyway, cut to a few hours later, he tells me to come back to his room. I'm only too happy to go. First thing he says is, 'Wanna see my blacklight?' and I'm like, 'oooooh, yeah'.....well that was just the beginning of his 'lines'. I was giving him a blowjob but trying not to laugh at his ridiculous shit coming out of his mouth that he clearly learned from watching porn....'Oh suck it', 'You know you love it', 'You want that big cock in your mouth'..etc...etc.... mind you this was the second dick I'd ever had in my mouth. I go back to my room and of course tell all my roommates in great detail.

Next week, frat party, we go, I see him there and he says, 'so...you coming by my room later?' and I say, 'of course'. So I go, I'm naked, sucking his dick and he starts with the lines again, 'Who's your daddy?!', 'I wanna rub my dick all over your hot little body', 'suck it hard'...etc...etc...I can't remember what his other lines were but I know they were way over the top because when I got back to my room, I proceeded to tell all my friends his new lines. Well my one roommate thought it would be hilarious to write a bunch of his 'quotes' on our message board with the words 'Ode to Sean'. Well the next day my other idiot roommate was giving him notes or something for class and he walked into our room. It took all of 30 secs for him to see the board. I panicked and slammed my bedroom door, as did my other roommates. Needless to say he was fucking PISSED. He was screaming, 'GET THAT BITCH OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!' and I was terrified so I went no where. Anyway, he stormed out, I went to lock our door, he busted back in and yelled, 'ERASE THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW!' to which one of my roommates furiously went ahead and did.

Well I have a big mouth so EVERYONE in our building knew what happened and for the rest of that semester he avoided pretty much everyone in our building like the plague. He was really embarrassed and I suppose I would have been to. Cut to the next semester I saw him on Spring Break, we fucked, and were fuck buddies for the next 3 years so it worked out for both of us but that's besides the point.

Moral of this story is, I told a handful of people, not wrote a power point presentation on it and it caused a shit storm. He's a good guy and it would have been fucking terrible if his name was forever plastered all over the internet in a story like this. It's one thing to be a girl and 'have fun' doing shit like this, but it's quite another to completely expose someone and go to the extreme that this chick did.

10/2/2010 9:24:38 AM

god damn it this get posted every couple months

10/2/2010 10:27:54 AM

Quote :

"IT THIS GET"

10/2/2010 10:33:45 AM

cute.

10/2/2010 11:05:44 AM

Fuck this thread.

10/2/2010 11:07:46 AM

Really hate the job i'm doing right now. But the campaign ends in 31 days, then I'm unemployed. I've been setting up dozens of informational interviews, even had a few interviews where there were jobs available. Really hoping to line something up before Nov.2. Trying to avoid unemployment at all costs, I don't want money for failure.

10/2/2010 11:34:36 AM

i can guess what your job is...


and ya, i would hate it too.

10/2/2010 11:35:04 AM