wwwebsurfer All American 10217 Posts user info edit post |
Today we were switching hosted exchange providers (office only has like 10 accounts) and my boss was on hold for like 45 minutes. This was followed soon in his 45-ish year old long time smoker voice by:
"...I'm done with you jokers. It'd be easier for me to get pregnant than to change a setting in your retarded admin panel." 11/16/2010 8:56:07 PM |
Mindstorm All American 15858 Posts user info edit post |
My boss is extremely level headed and professional, even when dealing with total idiots. I dunno how he does it. 11/16/2010 8:57:23 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
Motherfucker always calls me "Big Guy", which is really starting to get on my nerves. 11/16/2010 8:57:48 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
My boss calls me a brat at least once a week. 11/16/2010 8:57:54 PM |
AlaskanGrown I'm Randy 4693 Posts user info edit post |
My Boss says Fuck and God Damnit a lot. 11/16/2010 9:02:55 PM |
qntmfred retired 40598 Posts user info edit post |
when he says "console application" he pronounces it like "council application"
we always give him a hard time
/nerds
he also often says "that deserves a _________" where __________ is a twizzler, doughnut, cookie, etc
[Edited on November 16, 2010 at 9:04 PM. Reason : .] 11/16/2010 9:04:03 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
THAT BITCH JUST TEXTED ME AND CALLED ME BIG GUY AGAIN
I am going to snap his neck 11/16/2010 9:04:51 PM |
qntmfred retired 40598 Posts user info edit post |
i read that as snap his dick 11/16/2010 9:05:12 PM |
Shadowrunner All American 18332 Posts user info edit post |
I don't really have a boss, I guess. 11/16/2010 9:07:24 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
the worst part is that this dude isn't even my boss. he is just a corporate dude that is filling in while my boss is in Philly.
BIG GUY? SERIOUSLY?
i think i am going to kill him
Quote : | "i read that as snap his dick" |
you would
[Edited on November 16, 2010 at 9:11 PM. Reason : a]11/16/2010 9:10:27 PM |
NeuseRvrRat hello Mr. NSA! 35376 Posts user info edit post |
my boss calls me ChickenMan
the whole crew calls me ChickenMan 11/16/2010 9:11:34 PM |
twoozles All American 20735 Posts user info edit post |
"I hate it when you do that." "That drives me crazy." "Well, you're wrong."
or just
[Edited on November 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM. Reason : ] 11/16/2010 9:14:44 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
^^ lol, I get Farm Boy from all my employees, but not my boss 11/16/2010 9:16:04 PM |
ClassicMixup All American 3877 Posts user info edit post |
I don't mind being called big guy if you're just tall/big not fat. 11/16/2010 9:17:19 PM |
NeuseRvrRat hello Mr. NSA! 35376 Posts user info edit post |
there are people at the plant who don't know my real name
they just call me ChickenMan
those fuckers put a label on the back of my hard hat that says CHICKENMAN 11/16/2010 9:17:38 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
we need to circle our wagons
let's stack hands
this is where the rubber meets the road
you are awesome 11/16/2010 9:18:12 PM |
ClassicMixup All American 3877 Posts user info edit post |
When I was interning at a manufacturing plan...some guys called this one dude Attaboy. They restitched a name badge to his lab coat that said Attaboy. Took him almost a month to notice. 11/16/2010 9:19:13 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I don't mind being called big guy if you're just tall/big not fat." |
I am none of the above. He just calls me big guy. It is kind of condescending imo, which bothers me.11/16/2010 9:19:17 PM |
ClassicMixup All American 3877 Posts user info edit post |
^Call him Corporate 11/16/2010 9:19:58 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
or call him little guy 11/16/2010 9:24:53 PM |
TroopofEchos All American 12212 Posts user info edit post |
Director: "Do you use the microwave in your office?" Me: "No, it's old and nasty but Patti does." Director: "Hmmm. Guess we'll just have to get rid of Patti then." 11/16/2010 9:26:19 PM |
Axelay All American 6276 Posts user info edit post |
"..."
And that's because I'm in command of the department now. 11/16/2010 10:23:44 PM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
bitch says "circle back"
ugh 11/16/2010 10:26:44 PM |
arcgreek All American 26690 Posts user info edit post |
"that god damn nigger had better not get me fired" 11/16/2010 10:27:26 PM |
GoldenGirl All American 6475 Posts user info edit post |
dovetailing on _______________________ 11/16/2010 10:31:36 PM |
Flying Tiger All American 2341 Posts user info edit post |
after I cleared my boss's (google) homepage of all the extra downloaded clutter/taskbars/useless shit:
"Thanks for fixing my Googles!" 11/16/2010 10:33:15 PM |
HCH All American 3895 Posts user info edit post |
My co-worker and I actually have a running list of ridiculous shit our boss says. Most recently, he was instructing us on how to complete our yearly performance reviews and he kept saying that he didnt want a novel, just a novella. What a douche. 11/16/2010 10:36:08 PM |
arcgreek All American 26690 Posts user info edit post |
"God damnit, I don't want to spend my time in another pointless fucking meeting" 11/16/2010 10:45:42 PM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
haha I thought you were kidding
your boss really says shit like that? 11/16/2010 10:46:22 PM |
arcgreek All American 26690 Posts user info edit post |
yep
I get to see a side of her that no one else does. 11/16/2010 10:47:35 PM |
cheezitman All American 1245 Posts user info edit post |
she says "thank you" after every freakin sentence.
I'm not complaining though, could be worse 11/16/2010 10:47:52 PM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
do you get to see the sides of her vagina too? 11/16/2010 10:48:20 PM |
arcgreek All American 26690 Posts user info edit post |
nope
Don't want to either.
She's more like a very young aunt, or an older cousin. 11/16/2010 10:49:19 PM |
DivaBaby19 Davidbaby19 45208 Posts user info edit post |
would you like to see mine?
sorry I couldn't help it
what do you all do? 11/16/2010 10:55:39 PM |
ALkatraz All American 11299 Posts user info edit post |
"Let's talk."
"Hey I got something else that I need you to work on." (Not so bad in this economy though. I just can't get anything done on time. )
"Do you have the ______ report/file?" (That I've never seen.)
"I don't know how this [project name] project got fucked up..." (then starts talking about a missed inspection, failing test, or personnel issue) 11/16/2010 10:56:10 PM |
sawahash All American 35321 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Motherfucker always calls me "Big Guy", which is really starting to get on my nerves.
" |
Mine keeps calling me "little girl"
Which I guess makes sense since I'm the youngest person working there.11/16/2010 10:56:47 PM |
Creaver All American 1193 Posts user info edit post |
It's a great day to be in the high tech industry. 11/16/2010 10:57:19 PM |
Fry The Stubby 7783 Posts user info edit post |
"Big Guy", "Chief", "Champ"... etc, all bug the crap out of me... so glad my boss / co-workers don't call me any of those
i do admittedly have insecurities regarding my small stature though
[Edited on November 16, 2010 at 10:59 PM. Reason : ] 11/16/2010 10:58:21 PM |
TroopofEchos All American 12212 Posts user info edit post |
One of my techs calls me "chief" 11/16/2010 11:00:32 PM |
sawahash All American 35321 Posts user info edit post |
I also somehow got the nickname of watermelon girl.
All you gotta do is make a joke about watermelon farts and you get called watermelon girl. 11/16/2010 11:01:27 PM |
wwwebsurfer All American 10217 Posts user info edit post |
reading back through these I've laughed several times.
"lets take an airplane view" is another one that get me 11/16/2010 11:13:01 PM |
Nerdchick All American 37009 Posts user info edit post |
"I hope there's never a zombie apocalypse, because my brain would be like caviar." 11/17/2010 5:22:02 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89740 Posts user info edit post |
My boss is an indian, and I don't know how to respond to this thread without sounding like a racist asshole 11/17/2010 5:24:09 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
General profanity, obscene gestures and chair throwing 11/17/2010 5:27:16 PM |
craptastic All American 6115 Posts user info edit post |
^^Do the needful 11/17/2010 5:33:09 PM |
BobbyDigital Thots and Prayers 41777 Posts user info edit post |
Haha I wonder what my reports would post in this thread. My boss is too normal and does not talk like a fucking Dilbert strip so I'm pretty lucky. 11/17/2010 5:57:53 PM |
Nerdchick All American 37009 Posts user info edit post |
"Do unicorns have magic? What the hell kind of question is that?" 11/17/2010 10:03:28 PM |
IMStoned420 All American 15485 Posts user info edit post |
"How are we operating like this?" 11/17/2010 10:09:29 PM |
Kiwi All American 38546 Posts user info edit post |
ok my imagination is wild, wtf is a watermelon fart? 11/17/2010 10:10:24 PM |
TroopofEchos All American 12212 Posts user info edit post |
"Fuck it, burn it down" 11/17/2010 10:11:07 PM |