First, what do you call such a date?
It's not a double-date -- that term is already taken.


Second, who pays? Do you split it three ways? (no pun intended)
Does the couple pay?...but not the third?
It kinda makes sense that whoever does the asking out should pay, right?


Lastly,
What if it's a single person asking out a couple? Or a single person asking out two others separately?
Would that be likely to work?

(I don't have experience with this, and I doubt any of you do. Just thought I'd ask.)



It's a shame we still live in such a puritanical and judgemental society...
Threesomes shouldn't have to be hidden... only to be found in private residences... and not talked about....

12/4/2010 6:03:35 PM

Quote :

"It's a shame we still live in such a puritanical and judgemental society..."

BUT IF WE WERE ALL LIBERTARIANS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!

12/4/2010 6:08:31 PM

its called being a third wheel and you politely decline.

12/4/2010 6:09:24 PM

^ unless you're bringing the only Y chromosome

12/4/2010 6:12:54 PM

You accept only if it's understood that balls won't touch.

12/4/2010 6:13:51 PM

-It's just a date. You could call it a plural date, but why bother.

-Whoever does the asking out should pay.

-A couple plus one is more likely to work than a single person asking out two other separate people. With a couple, they're like a single entity that are already in tune with one another and you have less to worry about or coordinate than you do when dealing with 3 separate individuals.

And, I don't know what world you live in, but 3somes seem to be a fact of life amongst my social circle.

12/4/2010 6:41:12 PM

Quote :

"BUT IF WE WERE ALL LIBERTARIANS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT!"

Well, I'm sure there'd still be a majority of people that frown upon polyamory, but at least they'd all agree that "morals legislation" prohibiting consenting adults from engaging in polyamory or polygamy would be unjust....

Quote :

"its called being a third wheel and you politely decline."

Why?

If a bi-lesbian couple asked you out, (and you were single,) you'd politely decline?
...or if you and your girlfriend asked out a single girl, she should politely decline?

What do you mean by "third wheel"? It seems like you're suggesting that it's always a bad thing...

Quote :

"plural date"

nice term...

Quote :

"3somes seem to be a fact of life amongst my social circle."

That's cool... (do you mean 3somes as in sexual encounters, or as in long-term dating?)

12/4/2010 6:48:22 PM

Quote :

"THREE PERSON "DATE""

=

Quote :

"TWO SAME TIME"

?

12/4/2010 6:50:40 PM

Mostly in sexual encounters, but I have witnessed some longer term dating as well.

12/4/2010 6:51:08 PM

PM SENT

12/4/2010 7:03:27 PM

Quote :

"When a couple asks a third person out on a date..."

You politely say you have something else to do and decline

nobody likes a 3rd wheel

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 7:04 PM. Reason : looks like Chop beat me to it]

12/4/2010 7:04:18 PM

^
(...then perhaps you can answer the questions I asked him: )

Quote :

"its called being a third wheel and you politely decline."

Quote :

"You politely say you have something else to do and decline nobody likes a 3rd wheel"

Why?

If a bi-lesbian couple asked you out, (and you were single,) you'd politely decline?
...or if you and your girlfriend asked out a single girl, she should politely decline?

What do you mean by "third wheel"? It seems like you're suggesting that it's always a bad thing...

12/4/2010 7:21:21 PM

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 7:23 PM. Reason : .]

12/4/2010 7:23:29 PM

all i know is, it's really fucking annoying when i ask my friend if she wants to go to dinner -- "hey, want to get together for dinner tonight @ blahblah restaurant?", she agrees, i show up & it's her AND her husband. i know better now though. i just don't ask her to hang out anymore.

12/4/2010 8:28:59 PM

Seems like an awkward way to start a threesome. Usually those things just happen when everyone is hammered.

12/4/2010 8:39:25 PM

Quote :

"What do you mean by "third wheel"? It seems like you're suggesting that it's always a bad thing..."

i always feel like I am intruding when a couple asks me to hang out with them on a date. IMO a couple asking you to be a third wheel is the equivalent of a stranger asking you how you are doing. they don't really mean it, its just the polite thing to do.

12/4/2010 8:41:04 PM

^^maybe that's because of our fucking retarded puritanical and judgemental society

/indy

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 8:41 PM. Reason : adsf]

12/4/2010 8:41:15 PM

Well you can't have a threesome in the society you want, only in the society you have.

12/4/2010 8:43:42 PM

^^
ding! ding! ding! lol



^

Quote :

"she agrees, i show up & it's her AND her husband. i know better now though. i just don't ask her to hang out anymore."

Quote :

"when a couple asks me to hang out with them on a date"

Yeah no, that's not what I'm talking about. I thought my original post made it clear that I'm referring to polyamory...

Quote :

"Seems like an awkward way to start a threesome."

Not if your intentions are long-term...

Quote :

"Usually those things just happen when everyone is hammered."

That's the stereotype, too.

Just like homosexual sex was once viewed as immoral promiscuity, but is now accepted...
...polyamory is still viewed as immoral and promiscuous -- just having fun, but not a lifestyle.

When will polyamory be accepted?

12/4/2010 8:46:53 PM

Oh look indy learned a new word today.

12/4/2010 8:48:28 PM

Quote :

"When will polyamory be accepted?"

no man can serve two masters

12/4/2010 8:49:35 PM

Quote :

"Just like homosexual sex was once viewed as immoral promiscuity, but is now accepted"

(by some)

12/4/2010 8:49:50 PM

Quote :

"First, what do you call such a date?"

Pity.

12/4/2010 8:51:40 PM

Quote :

"Oh look indy learned a new word today."

hahaha, no -- I've been a long-time proponent of the cultural acceptance of and individual rights to, polyamory.

(but from your naive post, I bet you just learned this word.)

Quote :

"no man can serve two masters"

Well, can't two people serve one master?
..or, there be no masters?...or even shared masterdom?
I get your point,
but isn't that really just another way of pointing out the cultural conflict between monogamy (majority) and polygamy (minority)?

12/4/2010 9:00:15 PM

monogamous relationships cause enough drama as it is. I would imagine that drama increases exponentially with the introduction of each new partner.

For this reason alone, polyamory ain't my cup of tea.

12/4/2010 9:09:32 PM

Quote :

"I would imagine"

12/4/2010 9:11:09 PM

awwww, someone's excited that he got a sympathy invitation

12/4/2010 9:11:39 PM

Quote :

"pity"

Quote :

"sympathy"

I don't understand this angle...

A hottie way out of one's league might date you out of pity, but why would that be typical of a polyamorous invite?

Quote :

"awwww, someone's excited that he....."

Actually, I'm kinda getting serious with this "unicorn"... and just wanted to discuss the general idea...
(I know I'll be flamed for saying this)

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 9:24 PM. Reason : ]

12/4/2010 9:21:34 PM

Quote :

"A hottie way out of one's league might date you out of pity, but why would that be typical of a polyamorous invite?"

Because you probably whine nonstop about not getting laid and the couple is just taking one for the team.

12/4/2010 9:24:07 PM

^
lol...
You mean like, the guy is your bro, so he convinces his girl to have a three-way, out of pity?

lol.. I could see that, I guess.
Seems a bit odd, though -- why wouldn't they just try to hook you up with some [crazy,ugly,fat] girl they know?

Why would they want to be the ones to "get you laid"?

12/4/2010 9:27:51 PM

hey look at me, im indy. i'm so far outside of the mainstream that i can't even stand it. anything conventional is stupid, look at how i have transcended traditional gender roles. sexuality is a gradient and third parties are awesome! hey get it, because third parties in the bedroom and third parties in politics. i'm so fucking hip i need to tell some people about it, let me make a thread pretending to ask a question to show how cool i am.

12/4/2010 9:40:10 PM

Quote :

"Why would they want to be the ones to "get you laid"?"

Because...

Quote :

"hey look at me, im indy. i'm so far outside of the mainstream that i can't even stand it. anything conventional is stupid, look at how i have transcended traditional gender roles. sexuality is a gradient and third parties are awesome!"

12/4/2010 9:42:27 PM

lol... I knew most of you would be too immature for this thread...

Quote :

"i'm so far outside of the mainstream that i...."

See? This subject and practice is so taboo, that simply bringing it up in a serious context is dismissed by many...

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 9:45 PM. Reason : ]

12/4/2010 9:44:23 PM

indy can i subscribe to your tumblr page?

12/4/2010 9:52:44 PM

lol... who's this n00b?^

12/4/2010 10:00:24 PM

Quote :

"I thought my original post made it clear that I'm referring to polyamory"

i skimmed it. i should have paid more attention to who created this & just avoided the thread altogether

12/4/2010 10:12:16 PM

i won this thread

12/4/2010 10:13:53 PM

there are no winners in an indy thread

12/4/2010 10:14:38 PM

I spend quite a bit of time being the 3rd wheel
If I declined an invitation everytime I was set to be the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel I'd not be socially active very often

12/4/2010 11:23:42 PM

[Edited on December 4, 2010 at 11:24 PM. Reason : double post]

12/4/2010 11:24:21 PM

^, ^^ lol

and I don't consider it a date when we invite others

12/4/2010 11:26:11 PM

I was just looking at my family's christmas picture and realized that I was the 9th wheel for all of thanksgiving! goddamn thats slightly depressing

/emo

12/4/2010 11:27:43 PM

meh, couples are overrated

12/4/2010 11:30:23 PM

If this happens to you on AdultFriendFinder then prepare to have your dick sucked by a man before getting to have sex with a hot chick.

I mean, the girls are always hot, and they're down to fuck, but they just have that condition that their boyfriend/husband be able to blow you before you fuck them.

NO DEAL!

12/4/2010 11:31:25 PM

I clicked on this topic before I realized it was an indy thread.

Oops.

12/4/2010 11:54:48 PM

I was confused there at first. You mean a couple asking out a third person as a romantic interest? A third member to the relationship, and not just socializing with the friend of the couple?

I hang out in a purely friendly way with couples all the time. A lot of my best friends are involved with each other, and I'm chronically single, so that's bound to happen.

As to three-pronged romantic relationships/dates, I've got no idea what you call them. I don't really care if other people participate but I ain't gonna touch it with a ten-foot pole. Even in the bi-lesbian couple example you gave, I want no part in it. Jealousy is a big enough problem in a traditional two-person relationship, and you aren't going to improve that by adding another person whose attention is divided.

Maybe there is someone out there capable of handling all that extra shit, but it's damn sure not me. A one to one pairing is about all I can handle, and there are those who would argue I'm pretty bad at that, too.

12/5/2010 3:46:55 AM