I can see myself lording over a small community of people in some impoverished region of the world. It wouldn't take too much money to provide clean water, protection, educational and employment opportunities to a small village or something. And in return, they would declare me their king, and lavish me with praise for all my humble acts of service to them.

12/12/2010 1:58:23 PM

i will help you pack

12/12/2010 1:59:56 PM

^^

pretty much the next dude stronger than you will put a gun to your head and make you give them your money

that's how that works

...

just to be clear, you're not describing a "king", you're describing a strong man

kings are brought about through tradition... you don't just declare yourself a king

[Edited on December 12, 2010 at 2:04 PM. Reason : .]

12/12/2010 2:02:22 PM

12/12/2010 2:03:26 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPk4_XfYhjg

12/12/2010 2:04:14 PM

Pfft I'll just buy a bigger gun.

12/12/2010 2:04:39 PM

it won't matter how big your gun is if you just have one

12/12/2010 2:05:44 PM

all the king's horses and all the king's men would protect him

12/12/2010 2:07:33 PM

Look now, stop harshing my jive man

I'll buy a nuke from n Korea if I have to

12/12/2010 2:07:58 PM

yeah it must be totally easy to set up a peaceful community in a third world country. that's why there are so many!!

12/12/2010 2:08:43 PM

12/12/2010 2:09:26 PM

and how are you going to get this money? or prevent their poor neighbors from getting some cheap arms and invading?

12/12/2010 2:09:28 PM

I mean, if you're going to rule over imaginary people, why not just make them all hot sluts that want to service you and each other 24/7

you can make the local currency "third bases"

12/12/2010 2:09:33 PM

Quote :

"kings are brought about through tradition... you don't just declare yourself a king"

12/12/2010 2:11:00 PM

When I saw Marko posted in here I was certain it was going to be a KING DOUCHEBAG comment

12/12/2010 2:12:21 PM

marko's down with the watery tarts

12/12/2010 2:12:48 PM

12/12/2010 2:15:30 PM

This "Kingdom" sounds an awful like the wolf web....

Doesn't take too much money; lords over us, we're impoverished, etc.

12/12/2010 2:21:49 PM

12/12/2010 2:25:50 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzGO-oVJDu8

12/12/2010 2:32:54 PM

Sounds like running tww has gotten to qfreds head.

12/12/2010 2:36:02 PM

Q-fred exposed?

12/12/2010 2:48:50 PM

Napoleon declared himself king of Italy, right?

12/12/2010 2:53:29 PM

and that worked out for him

12/12/2010 3:01:10 PM

that's why you declare yourself prince--doesn't sound as imposing

it's seemed to work out in monaco

12/12/2010 3:04:49 PM

official photo

12/12/2010 3:09:08 PM

i declare myself Zinc Saucier

12/12/2010 3:11:30 PM

Quote :

"and that worked out for him"

for a few years at least. Being king didn't work out for Louis XVI either and he was straight from tradition.

12/12/2010 3:23:10 PM

if you just give them mosquito nets, they will use them to fish--but not if you make them buy them.

12/12/2010 4:30:32 PM

what? you aren't king?

i'm so confused

my life no longer has meaning

12/12/2010 5:24:47 PM

we've been promised great undelivered things on tdub.

i call scam.

12/12/2010 5:35:46 PM

Quote :

"kings are brought about through tradition... you don't just declare yourself a king"

dumbest thing I've ever heard

12/12/2010 5:40:47 PM

lol, i missed that gem

12/12/2010 5:41:43 PM

this is pretty much how i spent my last summer vacation.

12/12/2010 5:42:08 PM

^^^lol that is a good one

12/12/2010 5:47:34 PM

i'd be a kickass duke

12/12/2010 5:51:37 PM

I'm sorry, how many times have people just willy nilly declared themselves Rex and had it stick?

well?

...

you all may be thinking about quarrels FOR a throne

well... usually both parties have claims of some sort, otherwise no one will back them

or you may have someone conquer a bunch of people, get a bunch of vassels and then become king, but you're already a chief of a tribe beforehand....

that's how these things work

[Edited on December 12, 2010 at 7:48 PM. Reason : .]

12/12/2010 7:40:46 PM

I just farted. You can conquer that.

12/12/2010 7:41:51 PM

shut up doofus, you clearly have no concept of pre-modern age politics, go back to punching numbers in your calculator and leave the big boy talk to us educated grown-ups

12/12/2010 10:40:22 PM

you could have your own way. Get what ever you want, whatever you say.

12/12/2010 10:49:49 PM

Quote :

"It's good to be the king." "

12/13/2010 11:07:11 AM

^THIS

Quote :

"all the king's horses and all the king's men would protect him"

12/13/2010 11:28:29 AM

Quote :

"shut up doofus, you clearly have no concept of pre-modern age politics, go back to punching numbers in your calculator and leave the big boy talk to us educated grown-ups"

i approve this message

12/13/2010 11:57:07 AM

Will you demand prima nocta over your primate aboriginal villigers?

12/13/2010 12:13:52 PM

Quote :

"I can see myself lording over a small community of people in some impoverished region of the world. It wouldn't take too much money to provide clean water, protection, educational and employment opportunities to a small village or something. And in return, they would declare me their king, and lavish me with praise for all my humble acts of service to them."

You know when people tell me "You just own a pizza shop", they really don't see the hidden costs and challenges of it all.

Therefore, I want to make the information available that you will face these challenge once you become king.

To provide clean water:
1. Build the infrastructure. (people, money, time)
2. Maintain the infrastructure due to AGE, EARTHQUAKES, CONSTRUCTION MISHAPS. (people, money, time)
3. Guard against mold, poison, sabotage, microorganisms (LOTS of educated people, LOTS of money, lots of time)
4. Rebuild infrastructure when NATURAL DISASTER STRIKES, hurricane, tsunami, blizzards.
5. Water is a commodity that your people will want available absolutely no down time.

protection,
1. You need an army.
2. You need weapons.
3. You need spies to see what other villages are doing.
4. You need diplomats.
5. You need police, forensic.
6. You need jails.
7. You need correctional facilities.
8. You need court system.
you get the point.

educational
1. Build and maintain schools
2. Design a curriculum that pleases everyone
3. Teachers wages, Textbook material costs, Bills


Then you have challenges like "Johnny shoots up school" everyone is scared to go back to school.
"Village B hates you and is threaten to attack you if Demands A and B aren't met"
"Blizzard hits and your people are without power for a week"
"Hurricane hits and demolishes half of your infrastructure"
"Taxes are too high and your people in charge of taxes are corrupt and they're blaming you"
"You get death threats from your same corrupt people saying they'll kill you if you fire them"

12/13/2010 12:54:28 PM

please give examples of people declaring themselves king and it sticking

12/13/2010 1:38:46 PM

^The first king ever.

12/13/2010 1:40:21 PM

12/13/2010 1:41:21 PM

From : Netstorm
To : qntmfred
Received : Sunday September 5, 2010 at 3:08 PM
Subject : oh lord on high
would you, in your power and grace, bearing infinite kindness despite old testament rumors, please descend into Classifieds and move my "Fucked Up Laptop" thread to your other most gracious realm, the land of Tech Talk? A thousand burning bushes for your kindness, my liege.

12/13/2010 1:45:58 PM

Quote :

"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. "

Quote :

"Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

12/13/2010 1:52:40 PM