Bitch didn't buy in chocolate chips to put in my pancakes

1/1/2011 12:10:57 PM

are you still fucking Duck?

1/1/2011 12:11:35 PM

never knew that i was

1/1/2011 12:12:58 PM

Surprise you were fucking duck.

1/1/2011 12:14:14 PM

thought you were.... maybe it was someone else... but whoever it is, tell them to get there pancakes right!

1/1/2011 12:14:14 PM

i put my dick in a lot of things

1/1/2011 12:17:32 PM

cats, jelly, etc.

1/1/2011 12:19:08 PM

& bigman's fat fucking nose

1/1/2011 12:19:54 PM

yeah, you should really tell them to get they're pancakes right

1/1/2011 12:20:17 PM

Gross

1/1/2011 12:21:07 PM

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chocolate+pancake

1/1/2011 12:21:41 PM

that sounds about right

1/1/2011 12:28:57 PM

dont get any poop in his mustache

1/1/2011 12:30:38 PM

OH HAHA GAY JOKE

1/1/2011 12:34:55 PM

pretty sure duck's a lesbian


but gimp is pretty feminine so it makes sense

[Edited on January 1, 2011 at 12:43 PM. Reason : .]

1/1/2011 12:42:50 PM

Gimp used to date blah

But he murdered her when she found out he was fucking men on wednesdays and sundays.

1/1/2011 12:48:28 PM

ah, and there ya go

1/1/2011 12:50:25 PM

Just finished pissing out my asshole.

I haven't had a flu like this in over 15 years.

1/1/2011 12:54:11 PM

random much?

1/1/2011 1:00:50 PM

Just keeping with the spirit of the thread.

1/1/2011 1:05:48 PM

So I went out last night to White Collar Crime and ended up picking up a random chick on the dance floor that wanted to go back to my place with me. I happily oblige as she is a very attractive. I suggest a cab as this was my original plan to get home but she decides she wants to drive her car. We end up making it back to my apartment complex safe and park near one of the buildings. I inform her that she will be towed unless she parks in a visitor spot and in her inebriated state she decides to "stick it to the man" and parks in the grass between two buildings sevearal hundred feet away from the pavement. I promptly get her out of the car and I remove the car from the lawn and park it several buildings down as the only available visitor spots are there.

After that I walk back and hand the keys back to the girl before we go into my bedroom. We end up not doing anything so I grow bored quickly and decide to pass out. The girl tries to convince me several times to walk her out to her car but I refuse as I felt no obligation (It's not like I got anything). I tell her where her car is and fall asleep promptly as soon as she is gone.

Several hours later at 6 AM I am awakened by a Raleigh Police Officer shining a light in my eyes in my room (Roommate let him in after he was pounding on the door). He doesn't waste any time and starts interrogating me immediately. He claims I drove the vehicle into the grass (tire marks clearly present) and used a vehicle without "authorized use." I of course deny both charges without telling the officer it was the girl as I wasn't sure what was going on and didn't want to get anyone in trouble. The officer then starts badgering me about where the keys to the vehicle were and the actual car. I quickly find the keys on the coffee table in the middle of the apartment and then lead him towards the extra visitor parking spots. Along the way he makes snide comments about taking a "nature walk" to have to find the vehicle, which is backed in neatly in the first visitor spot.

While walking outside I notice the girl is with the officer and can't figure out who the hell called the police. My best guess is a neighbor but as I think about it I am more and more I am sure it had to be the girl trying to find her car.

Anyway, after telling the officer multiple times I had nothing to do with the vehicle being parked on the grass, he decideds that it is indeed my fault (even if I didn't drive the vehicle) as I had invited a guest back to the apartment complex. He tells me he is going to charge me with a felony "unauthorized use" unless I contact the apartment complex first thing this morning and let them know it was my fault as my guest had caused the damage. Evidently it is a crime to move a car off the grass and into a visitor parking spot.

In short, I am very pissed about this whole thing and am about to file a complaint against the officer for threatening me with charges that have no grounds. I'm not sure if it the best idea. Advice??

Note: I never had a chance to say anything to the girl, but after being awake for a few minutes I think she was actually the one who called the police in her drunken state, trying to find her vehicle. Hilariously she ends up in the back of the patrol car before the officer leaves. I still have no clue who called the police and led them to our apartment or if the girl ended up being charged with anything. I am assuming she recieved a DWI but I will never know as I can't remember her name and I told her I didn't want her number as she was leaving the first time as I felt she was a huge cock tease. Maybe I'll see it in the police blotter later.

1/1/2011 2:41:09 PM

Cool story bro.

1/1/2011 3:43:47 PM

Quote :

"DIDN'T BUY IN"

1/1/2011 3:59:04 PM

tell her with a new year's gift she will remember for at least a week

a black eye that she got "falling into a door"

1/1/2011 4:02:33 PM

I know this is a thread about ruined years, which mine is not... hear me out.

1/1/2011 8:36:03 PM

^ Can you offer me some insight?

1/1/2011 8:37:30 PM

I may be able to!!

1/1/2011 8:40:20 PM

Quote :

"Just finished pissing out my asshole. I haven't had a flu like this in over 15 years."

Worst day ever. I finally took a massive diarrhetic dump and couldn't decide whether to be awed or just disgusted.

I finally just flushed it.

1/1/2011 9:01:31 PM

this isn't relevant, but after reading the 2nd post in this thread i thought i would share that one of my favorite things to say when i get pissed off is

Quote :

""FUCK A DUCK""

1/1/2011 9:11:46 PM

I just made pancakes and intentionally left out the chocolate chips. So there!!

1/2/2011 11:00:52 AM

^^haha I say the same thing sometimes

1/2/2011 11:05:35 AM