We have been together for a while and just got engaged, but we have had some close calls.

My current salary is about 20K and hers is about the same.

I have insurance through a university, but she doesn't cause we are not married yet.

Just curious if anybody knows what would happen if she got pregnant?

1/2/2011 12:42:04 PM

you & her would be responsible for all medical costs.


get some insurance.

1/2/2011 12:47:23 PM

You would find some stairs real fast

1/2/2011 12:47:36 PM

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/findCenter.asp

you can get prenatal and general care without insurance, but you have to pay up front


http://www.ncdhhs.gov/dss/local/index.htm

use the list to find the health department website for your county--they may require insurance or medicaid


http://www.ncdhhs.gov/dma/medicaid/who.htm

maybe she can get medicaid

1/2/2011 12:53:09 PM

^^ or a coat hanger

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 12:53 PM. Reason : stupid useful information]

1/2/2011 12:53:32 PM

can she be covered under her parent's insurance? you can look into getting her some short term/temporary insurance until you two can get hitched.

my company also allows you to insure an unmarried spouse if you can prove you've lived with each other for a certain period

1/2/2011 12:54:20 PM

Please do not rely on this, because if you do it could really come back and bite you in the ass, but it's something to consider.

Many hospitals have assistance programs for lower income families. Depending on the ratio of the bill to your yearly income, the hospital may be able to cover some or all of the cost. I don't know if all hospitals have this, but I know Rex in Raleigh has one.

We had a insurance clusterfuck when my wife had our son earlier this year and she wasn't able to add him to her (or my) insurance after we found out he wasn't covered. The only thing that saves us from a $25k bill was this program. Again, I really don't recommend relying on it, but it is an option.

Also, NC State lets you add dependents to insurance plans, I think. Maybe your university does too?

1/2/2011 1:00:53 PM

Dude, Medicare. Seriously when we had our first I had gotten laid off and was just about to start a new job. We ended up paying for nothing for our first child because of this. My second one with the 90/10 state health insurance (which no longer exists) cost us over $1000 after Blue Cross paid out. I honestly couldn't believe we paid nothing for our first child. It was ridiculous. I am all for personal responsibility, but sometimes shit happens and if you are not employed or under a certain income bracket (not sure that you qualify, but you'd have to go to DSS and see) and they help take care of it.

Of course this also pisses me off when I'm in town and see women younger than me with 3-4 children knowing that she didn't pay a dime to have them and we are bankrolling those children with WIC, Food Stamps, welfare, etc.

1/2/2011 1:05:59 PM

Pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. Better to get enrolled in insurance now than after the fact and get totally screwed.

Also, condoms. Seriously. I can understand one close call, but more than one? Have you not had sex education?

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 1:28 PM. Reason : s]

1/2/2011 1:27:57 PM

Quote :

"Of course this also pisses me off when I'm in town and see women younger than me with 3-4 children knowing that she didn't pay a dime to have them and we are bankrolling those children with WIC, Food Stamps, welfare, etc."

So what is wrong for them was good for you because in your case it was just "shit happens" but in their case its willful laziness?

I'm just trying to understand the mentality here, ok?

Btw, what are close calls? Did you get a report back from the sperm "Sir, after a long an exhausting swim we were seconds away from full fertilization when we ran out of mojo"?

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 1:33 PM. Reason : .]

1/2/2011 1:32:04 PM

birth control. she should go on some. Mine is only $24 a month b/c of some program that goes along with it (it's usually $90) if you don't use insurance to pay for it.

so yea that's less than a dollar a day to not get preggers.

1/2/2011 1:35:03 PM

most contraceptives are not an end-all be-all as far as not getting preggers
most have a typical use efficacy rate of ~90%--it's not necessarily unusual to have close calls (especially since they may consider any time she is a day late to be a close call even if they haven't done anything to put them more at risk for pregnancy)

Quote :

"Have you not had sex education? "

a lot of people on this board went through primary and secondary school in NC where comprehensive sex-ed in public schools was a no-no until last year. parents don't always have that talk and adults don't always think they need to seek it out later, ya know.

1/2/2011 1:45:59 PM

^ That may be an excuse for a 12-year old not knowing the birds and the bees, but I have a really hard time believing a college student doesn't know how babby is formed and how to go about preventing said formation.

1/2/2011 1:50:21 PM

knowing how a baby is formed is not the same as knowing how to use contraception is not the same as knowing how to always use contraception correctly

the average person makes a lot of mistakes and/or has a lot of misconceptions

1/2/2011 1:52:27 PM

bj's ftw

1/2/2011 1:55:23 PM

Oral contraceptives are extremely effective when taken properly, and provided very cheaply now that generics are available. In the age of modern medicine, there's almost no excuse for an unwanted or unintended pregnancy. The pill will always be cheaper than a kid. Always.

1) Get on a generic oral contraceptive. Planned parenthood can hook you up if you don't have a GP to go to.
2) Look at HDHP/HSA plans. The premiums are relatively low and allow you pay the provider's negotiated rates for services, but out of pocket. Annual deductibles and OOP limits are high(~2-5k), but insulate you somewhat in the event you do have a huge expenditure come up. These are more cost-effective for healthy people who rarely or never need care beyond their annual physical and labs.

1/2/2011 2:03:09 PM

Quote :

"Dude, Medicare. Seriously when we had our first I had gotten laid off and was just about to start a new job. We ended up paying for nothing for our first child because of this. My second one with the 90/10 state health insurance (which no longer exists) cost us over $1000 after Blue Cross paid out. I honestly couldn't believe we paid nothing for our first child. It was ridiculous. I am all for personal responsibility, but sometimes shit happens and if you are not employed or under a certain income bracket (not sure that you qualify, but you'd have to go to DSS and see) and they help take care of it. Of course this also pisses me off when I'm in town and see women younger than me with 3-4 children knowing that she didn't pay a dime to have them and we are bankrolling those children with WIC, Food Stamps, welfare, etc."

I think you mean Medicaid.

1/2/2011 2:06:42 PM

^

And get insurance.

Might want to look in to a maternity rider on top of that if you think you might start trying to have a family once married (or once married you say "f birth control! Woooooooo unprotected married sex!" and just let nature do whatever) bc as said earlier pregnancy is a pre-existing condition so you would need one b4 a dr confirmed pregnancy.

1/2/2011 2:16:38 PM

She should get insurance regardless. I had an appendectomy my first semester in college. There are plenty of unforeseen things that could happen to her that could easily bankrupt her overnight.

1/2/2011 2:25:06 PM

insurance is a ponzi scheme.

1/2/2011 2:26:03 PM

Perhaps, but the standard deviation is way too high for me to go without it.

1/2/2011 2:28:51 PM

Use birth control dip shit

1/2/2011 3:03:50 PM

Quote :

"We have been together for a while and just got engaged, but we have had some close calls. My current salary is about 20K and hers is about the same. I have insurance through a university, but she doesn't cause we are not married yet. Just curious if anybody knows what would happen if she got pregnant?"

If you can't figure out how to use a condom or pull out, your gf can't figure out how to swallow a pill everyday, you can't afford insurance and you can't afford an abortion, then DON'T FUCKING HAVE SEX! If you keep having sex and you haven't figured out how to avoid those close calls and you can't afford a baby (and hospital bills, while a worry, shouldn't be the bulk of your worry. Even if you can't afford pre-natal care or the birth itself, then how do you expect to feed your child, cloth it, take it to the doctor when it gets sick, ect?) then don't have sex! It's not a fucking necessity. It just pisses me off to know that there are people like you who cause medical care to get more expensive for the rest of us because you can't keep it in your damn pants.

1/2/2011 3:06:39 PM

crush up da pills, mon ... stick'em in whatever she drinks that day ... = no babies

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 3:38 PM. Reason : .]

1/2/2011 3:38:14 PM

Quote :

"It just pisses me off to know that there are people like you who cause medical care "

This shit is what really pisses me off about this country. People (usually comfy upper class white people) don't get how hard it is to get health care if you are over 18 and your parents don't have it. She fits in this category.

Yes she works, but it is one of those jobs where they work you just under the amount required to get insurance. This effects a lot of the poor class in this country, but I think that a majority of the upper class just doesn't get it.

BC doesn't work for us b/c without insurance it is expensive and has unwanted side effects.

We do use condoms, but sometimes the romance happens and you just can't help it.

Its not like we are trying to rake in the welfare so stfu...plz

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 4:43 PM. Reason : no style]

1/2/2011 4:38:24 PM

My wife and I use a mix of pulling out and the rhythm method (spray on safe days, pull out if not a safe day).

Worked for 3 years and 3 months before she got pregnant. (she got the day wrong)

And it has worked again for 1 year 10 months so far since she gave birth.

Just needs self-control on my part and charting her cycle on her part.

Easy. Free. Effective.

1/2/2011 4:45:58 PM

yeah, of course it was her fault

Quote :

"BC doesn't work for us b/c without insurance it is expensive and has unwanted side effects."

My girlfriend also did not have insurance as it was too expensive. We've gotten her on some insurance through work plus temp 6 month insurance, but in our experience you can go to planned parenthood and they will give you a 6 month prescription for the equivalent of around $30 a month.

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 4:55 PM. Reason : she can chime in and correct if I'm wrong though]

1/2/2011 4:51:42 PM

http://www.ncdhhs.gov/dma/medicaid/familyplanning.htm

ending soon, but will post as a reference anyway since it may get renewed--they might be able to refer people to similar resources anyway


^pp should give a regular 12-month prescription--pphs is usually <$25 per pack of pills
they will also mail pills to you without additional cost
bc consult without exam ~$45, with exam ~$95

1/2/2011 4:54:50 PM

Quote :

"This shit is what really pisses me off about this country. People (usually comfy upper class white people) don't get how hard it is to get health care if you are over 18 and your parents don't have it."

It's not hard to get. I paid for it out of pocket when I graduated from NCSU and could no longer be on my parent's insurance.

1/2/2011 5:03:53 PM

^$$

1/2/2011 5:06:27 PM

Ok, so stop having sex. Problem solved.

1/2/2011 5:08:34 PM

Quote :

"BC doesn't work for us b/c without insurance it is expensive and has unwanted side effects."

The first part is patently untrue, and the second is highly subjective. I know for a fact that PP will dispense it for about $30 a month out of pocket - you guys really should go pay them a visit and see what the true cost is. I have a feeling you'll be surprised.

The side effects do vary wildly, but unless she's been through a gamut of pills, your partner should at least explore all of the options that are out there. There are many different hormone and combination pills out there, and some people simply respond better to some than others. Most MD's will even dispense a couple months of samples at a time, so you don't have to pay anything to find what works best. Once you get a pill that works for you, you will both realize that the side effects are quite tolerable compared to the alternative.

1/2/2011 5:10:53 PM

If she's anything like the OP she's probably worried about trivial things like acne or minor weight gain.

1/2/2011 5:13:41 PM

Yeah I was about to say, $30/month + a couple of pounds + acne <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< a baby

1/2/2011 5:23:41 PM

^ how about u 2 try it for more than a year and then come talk to me.

1/2/2011 5:30:33 PM

how about u 2 wrk n get mony and get rl insurance and in the mean tiem use the planned parenthood alternative

1/2/2011 5:32:25 PM

Srsly, or just use condoms.

1/2/2011 5:34:27 PM

FenderFreek is right on the money. There are plenty of ways to get birth control for CHEAP if you need it. And there are plenty of options out there if one option doesn't work for you. It's highly improbable that every single birth control medicine on the market would cause adverse effects in one woman. And there's still condoms or abstinence if necessary.

Being responsible about sex isn't always easy, but it sure as hell beats having an unwanted pregnancy.

1/2/2011 5:37:46 PM

Not that I have a problem with birth control, but some people can't take hormonal birth control. Condoms and physical birth control is a different story, but popping a birth control pill isn't an option for everyone.

1/2/2011 5:42:52 PM

Quote :

" there are plenty of options out there if one option doesn't work for you."

Pills aren't the only one. There are also diaphragms, cervical caps, IUDs, sponges, etc.

1/2/2011 5:52:43 PM

Quote :

"We have been together for a while and just got engaged, but we have had some close calls. My current salary is about 20K and hers is about the same."

I'm not trying to be mean here, but please consider some more responsible choices. 20k a year and no insurance is not how you want to bring a child in. With that said, you should be taking every precaution to make sure these close calls don't happen.

Quote :

"Just curious if anybody knows what would happen if she got pregnant?"

She (or you) will be making payments for the medical bill owed.

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 6:01 PM. Reason : ..]

1/2/2011 5:59:41 PM

But you guys........

Quote :

"sometimes the romance happens and you just can't help it"

1/2/2011 6:01:41 PM

^And I have a match tonight. What's your point? Be a grown goddamn adult about it.

1/2/2011 6:02:19 PM

Quote :

""Just curious if anybody knows what would happen if she got pregnant?""

She will make babby

1/2/2011 6:02:56 PM

Quote :

"What's your point?"

It was sarcasm.

1/2/2011 6:04:28 PM

1/2/2011 6:15:08 PM

Quote :

"Ok, so stop having sex. Problem solved."

Like Mama always said, if you aren't prepared for the consequences.....

1/2/2011 6:18:25 PM

1/2/2011 8:06:45 PM

Quote :

"Yeah I was about to say, $30/month + a couple of pounds + acne <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< a baby"

Quote :

"how about u 2 try it for more than a year and then come talk to me."

4.5 years now and we wouldn't have it any other way. Trust me, it's worth it.

I think the original question has been answered ad nauseum, so it's basically /thread. There are a variety of BC methods available to you, many of which are highly effective and easily affordable. It just boils down to what you're willing to sacrifice for the ability to circumvent natural bodily processes. For many folks a pill, ring, or shot is quite acceptable in exchange for a temporary method that is essentially as effective physical sterilization. If not, there are a variety of non-hormonal options that are quite effective when used properly.

[Edited on January 2, 2011 at 8:36 PM. Reason : .]

1/2/2011 8:35:40 PM

Quote :

"This shit is what really pisses me off about this country. People (usually comfy upper class white people) don't get how hard it is to get health care if you are over 18 and your parents don't have it. She fits in this category."

Your problem here is that your assumption is patently wrong. You come in here asking for advice about your irresponsibility and expect everyone to tell you what you want to hear. I get it, it sucks working a low paying job without provided health insurance. I did it for a long time and paid for my own insurance out of pocket. Was it more than I wanted to pay, sure, but it wasn't prohibitively expensive. If it is too expensive for her then one of two things need to happen: 1. adjust her lifestyle so that she can put money toward the things that are truly important. 2. Get a different (or second) job.

With the excuses that youre making in this thread, it seems like this is an issue of when your girl gets pregnant rather than if. Insurance costs will pale in comparison to the costs of raising a kid.

1/2/2011 8:36:33 PM