This new girl I'm uh... seeing won't have sex with me until we both get tested since its been a while for both of us. Can anyone tell me what the cost of "The Works" would be (testing for ev-a-rathang). Also, I want a HPV vaccine. Its apparently fairly new so I'm hoping its not too expensive. I would ask my doctor all this but that costs moneys. HALP

1/17/2011 5:33:10 PM

cool story

1/17/2011 5:33:55 PM

$Missouri

1/17/2011 5:34:06 PM

Student Health has a free clinic that you can sign up for if you're still a student/have a valid ID. Other places probably do the same.

1/17/2011 5:34:06 PM

Planned Parenthood will probably be your cheapest option without insurance. Not sure of the cost though.

1/17/2011 5:34:53 PM

I didn't think the free clinics provided testing for the more expensive stuff like da herp.

1/17/2011 5:37:16 PM

I don't have $Missouri but I do have $Rhode Island. Will that do?

1/17/2011 5:39:16 PM

.... I don't care about the cost, but keep this girl around..... You'll actually know what you're sleeping with before you do. Profound

1/17/2011 6:05:58 PM

^ I agree

1/17/2011 6:08:42 PM

have fun getting a q-tip without the gauze shoved up your dick hole....no joke.

1/17/2011 6:08:53 PM

Sounds like too much work for the tang. She's obviously high maintenance. Drop her ass and find some other poon.

Or post pictures and TWW can decide if smashing it is worth the hassle.

1/17/2011 6:09:21 PM

I agree, what psycho. If she can't take your word for it or check for symptoms herself then forget it, the q-tip really is one of the worst pains in the world.

1/17/2011 6:10:26 PM

i had it done for free at some clinic next to one of the big hospitals, and they checked for everything. Might have been a planned parenthood or something like that

1/17/2011 6:12:09 PM

Q-tip shoved up your pee hole vs puss filled bumps on your wiener, having no clue about who she's been with? I'm pretty sure pee hole violation sounds superb....

1/17/2011 6:12:20 PM

You people are frightening. "A basic regard for her health? HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!"

1/17/2011 6:12:20 PM

^ahahahahahahahahahahahahah

gullible?


yeahhhhhh

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:16 PM. Reason : tsk tsk cody. trolls are mean]

1/17/2011 6:15:28 PM

use a condom if everyone is so worried. if you both haven't been with anybody in a while and have had no signs or symptoms, chances are you don't have an STD. The HPV shot might be worth it but if you aren't pissing razor blades or breaking out with rashes and haven't been for over a year then there's no need for a full screen.

1/17/2011 6:17:40 PM

fuck someone else and dont worry about it

1/17/2011 6:21:03 PM

Get two pregnancy tests and tell her they are "home STD tests." Then tell her "not preggo" is clean. Both of you piss on the sticks.... WHAMMO!

On the off chance she's pregnant (which is unlikely given her well-guarded entrance) you can dump her before shit gets out of hand. Just tell her you don't want the herp and run like hell.

1/17/2011 6:26:24 PM

i don't think i realized there was a HPV vaccine for boys. I thought it was just for those of us with a vagina.

1/17/2011 6:26:43 PM

Quote :

"On the off chance she's pregnant (which is unlikely given her well-guarded entrance)"

lol

Quote :

"WELL GUARDED ENTRANCE"

1/17/2011 6:31:57 PM

Quote :

"Student Health has a free clinic that you can sign up for if you're still a student/have a valid ID. Other places probably do the same."

it cost about $200 at the student health center for me but no HPV vaccine. As a guy I don't understand why you want the HPV vaccine. It doesn't protect you against any of the types that cause cancer, and can cost $350 if you are paying out of pocket.

Quote :

"have fun getting a q-tip without the gauze shoved up your dick hole....no joke."

there is an optional blood test that replaces this, just costs more

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:32 PM. Reason : .]

1/17/2011 6:31:59 PM

Quote :

"if you both haven't been with anybody in a while and have had no signs or symptoms, chances are you don't have an STD. "

i hope youre trolling!

negative. lots of stds can be or are silent...hpv, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis ....hell many people don't even know they have HIV until months or even years after the fact.


http://hpv.emedtv.com/hpv/hpv-statistics.html

Quote :

"at least 50 percent of sexually active men and women acquire a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. By age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have been infected with genital HPV infection."

Quote :

"In many people who are infected with human papillomavirus, HPV symptoms do not appear."

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:34 PM. Reason : i gotta study so i dont feel like looking up the other stats ]

1/17/2011 6:33:39 PM

they didn't give me any optional blood test. but then again my doctor may be a sadist.

1/17/2011 6:34:02 PM

Quote :

"As a guy I don't understand why you want the HPV vaccine. It doesn't protect you against any of the types that cause cancer"

from my understanding it protects from the three strains that cause the most cancer. where did you get this info? (i'm not saying your wrong but i have to make sure im not. i'll probably be giving these in the next few years!)

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:37 PM. Reason : s]

1/17/2011 6:36:49 PM

^^if i remember correctly it was an extra $20, but i could be mistaken about the cost
^ can't remember where i heard that, let me look

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:37 PM. Reason : .]
a quick google shows that it protects against type 6 and type 11 HPV in men, not sure where i heard otherwise. those are the two types that generally cause warts.

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:39 PM. Reason : .]

1/17/2011 6:36:59 PM

i found it

http://www.cdc.gov/hpv/vaccine.html

Quote :

"Two vaccines (Cervarix and Gardasil) are available to protect females against the types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers. One of these vaccines (Gardasil) also protects against most genital warts."

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:38 PM. Reason : it won't protect boys from cervical cancer cause boys cant get cervicle cancer ;-)]

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 6:40 PM. Reason : it says that it can cause anal cancer in men though! ]

1/17/2011 6:38:23 PM

i think it is generally a good idea to get tested at least once a year if one is engaging in opportune behaviors.

our pastor even suggested during our premarriage counseling that we both get tested.. for the simple reason that joie posted above....symptoms/signs may not appear at all so you can never be sure without a test (unless you have been inactive since the last test)

1/17/2011 6:38:55 PM

you could probably just buy shots for another girl and get laid for cheaper if that's all you're trying to get

1/17/2011 6:39:53 PM

Quote :

"have fun getting a q-tip without the gauze shoved up your dick hole....no joke."

and

Quote :

"post pictures and TWW can decide if smashing it is worth the hassle."

1/17/2011 6:52:30 PM

go to Planned Parenthood
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm

you don't need THE WORKS

just get the basic, free screenings and practice safe sex

1/17/2011 6:52:46 PM

Give blood, they test you for most of the diseases that can kill you....if you get the rejection letter in the mail a couple weeks later you are screwed.

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 7:29 PM. Reason : w]

1/17/2011 7:29:22 PM

just check for the ones that start with H (well you can't check for HPV)

1/17/2011 7:33:00 PM

Ive never been able to feel the Q-tip

1/17/2011 7:44:12 PM

A urine test for chlamydia and gonorrhea is $170 if you go to a local lab without insurance and the results back in 2 days. You need a blood test for syphilis. Dunno about the other ones.

Figure out what she wants you tested for , get an estimate of how much it should cost, and figure out how to split it with her.

1/17/2011 7:45:56 PM

just have sex with her and tell her to get all the tests done, it'll be cheaper that way

1/17/2011 7:47:42 PM

^this

Also, I, Too have had sex.

[Edited on January 17, 2011 at 8:04 PM. Reason : also]

1/17/2011 8:02:27 PM

I say get it on, wait 6 months, then find out for free

1/17/2011 8:10:21 PM

haha at the home preggers test...great idea and i bet it would work

1/17/2011 9:59:27 PM

Haha, I am assuming most of you are trolling, but I will respond just in case some of you really are that dumb.

The home preg test would NOT work. She is too smart. Also, she can't "take [my] word for it" because I'm not telling her I don't have anything, because I don't know...because I haven't been tested in a while. And the Q-Tip in my dickhole is certainly worth not having to call her back at some point and tell her shes got probably got the clap (I've had to do it with previous girls...my ex-gf gave it to me and tried to blame it on me, fucking whore). I want the HPV vaccine because I don't want fucking warts on my dick, and I don't want to give anyone HPV. And YES, she is absolutely worth it. Every time I get a nice view of her ass, Uma Thurman's voice says "I said GODDAMN...goddamn" in my head. Don't ask me why. Its genuinely how I feel about her amazing ass.

1/17/2011 10:29:28 PM

why'd you call previous girls about an STD and not try to blame it on them?

1/17/2011 10:43:54 PM

I thought this thread was to be more lighthearted, like a shorthand annotation for a sexted...like embarrassing sexts now posted for public fodder.

1/17/2011 10:44:39 PM

^^ Yeah, true. I should have done that. Fuck them.

1/17/2011 11:00:39 PM

oooh, I want the HPV vaccine. I thought that was just for chicks or something, as in it was worthless except for a few strains that cause cervical cancer.


I would highly recommend the piss-test version if you can do it that way. I think they can check for pretty much all the same stuff with that instead of the q-tip test nowadays. The q-tip in the wiener is an experience I feel no strong urge to revisit.

1/17/2011 11:41:49 PM

just check for blisters and if everything looks ok dive in

1/18/2011 12:25:33 AM

If your doctor still uses a swab for STDs, change doctors now. It is not any cheaper and is less effective than the urine STD test.

Next you're going to say your doctor still does the traditional Pap Smear?!

[Edited on January 18, 2011 at 12:29 AM. Reason : 3edf]

1/18/2011 12:29:02 AM

sigh. if only. and you know i tried... so many times. my usual seduction techniques (magic fingers) did not do the trick with her this time as they have in the past. i blame it on the pants being too tight

1/18/2011 12:29:12 AM

LOL try taking the pants off first

1/18/2011 12:30:34 AM

i did! thats where she says no, because after that she can't say no. you no?

1/18/2011 12:31:33 AM

49

1/18/2011 1:02:07 AM