Ok, so this girl I know has been texting me for two weeks. I keep asking her if she's seen my knives, I tell her where to see them and every time I do this the conversation ends. Well, this girl is someone who knows that I'm into knives and all that so I was kind of confused by it. Eventually like 5 days goes by with no texts and I say something like "uh, so I never heard back from you". She texts back and says "Hey, I just got off work". I say, "Oh, where are you working and living these days?" Her reply was, "The Harris Teeter in Durham. I've always lived in Durham......." The girl I know is a bit above working at Harris Teeter and she hasn't ever lived in Durham since I've known her. So, I'm like "Uh... Where do I know you from? I'm a bit confused now." The reply is "Cedar Ridge English Class... Ms. Henderson's class.."

I was like, "How old are you?!" She replies "My name is ____... I'm 19..." Then I was like, "Well, I'm 25, I don't think I was ever in Ms. Henderson's English class with you. lol." Apparently some dude gave her the wrong number. She was like "I wondered why you kept asking me to look at knives." Then I was like "LOL, well you might as well see them anyway since I've been babbling to you about them for 2 weeks." Then I got no further reply, HAHAHAHA!

My god I love it so. Knives are the greatest thing ever.

4/25/2011 6:44:16 AM

Knives Chau is a 16 year old.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 6:47 AM. Reason : .]

4/25/2011 6:46:06 AM

I guess my point was that women (Child women) do actually text me. It's just that they have to be confused about who I am in order to do so.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 6:48 AM. Reason : t]

4/25/2011 6:48:16 AM

you didn't question it when a random person texted you and it just happened to be a girl?

4/25/2011 7:45:35 AM

No, because this girl had the same name as a girl I used to regularly speak to and she wrote in EXACTLY the same manner that the girl I know does.

The girl I know was also kind weird at times about responding. She would text and then not respond on a quite regular basis. This was normal activity for her in the past, so it seemed like I was talking to the girl I actually know. What I don't understand is how this girl didn't notice that I wasn't who she thought I was more quickly, because I was talking about websites she doesn't use and all this shit. Rather than say "I have no idea what you're talking about" or "I'm not on that website" she would say "No, I haven't seen it yet".

She was also talking to "me" on facebook and it must have been quite interesting. She probably asked the dude about the knives he made and he was like "Wtf?!", hahaha! Then I asked her where she works and lives, and in her mind I was someone who knew all of this. She still didn't put it together man. After things got to the point that she was clearly not who I thought she was, I asked her where she thought she knew me from. That's when I found out she didn't know me.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 8:25 AM. Reason : t]

4/25/2011 8:22:49 AM

you should've met her and bwnd, instead you holler'd at her about knives. FAIL.

4/25/2011 8:25:01 AM

Indeed, I'm going to text her back and get her to let me show her my knives son. That's more important.

Also, keep in mind that the girl I thought this was is not interested in me like that. This is actually why I didn't have any reservation about bringing up the knives.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 8:27 AM. Reason : t]

4/25/2011 8:26:49 AM

ahh, well now you need to flip the script and get you some man g.

4/25/2011 8:33:40 AM

I agree, I'm seriously considering texting her back in a couple days and being like "You intrigue me and now I must meet you my son. Let's meet up son."

4/25/2011 8:34:55 AM

maybe there's a reason a dude gave her the wrong number?


or maybe she just got the numbers mixed up. that sounds possible.

4/25/2011 8:39:59 AM

ohhh, same name, i guess that would do it.

4/25/2011 8:40:02 AM

^^ Once it was established that I was the wrong person, she said, "Let me check and see if this is actually the number he gave me". Then she texted back a few minutes later and said my number is the number he had given her. My opinion is that there are four distinct possibilities.

1) He gave her the wrong number on purpose (In which case he just picked a number, because I doubt I know him).

2) He accidentally gave her the wrong number (Pretty reasonable assumption, this is the most likely I think).

3) Someone I actually do know is fucking with me.

4) It is actually the girl I know and for whatever reason she decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore after initially texting me. So, she then lied and pretended to be someone else, lol.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 8:46 AM. Reason : t]

4/25/2011 8:46:01 AM

TL;DR

4/25/2011 9:57:00 AM

Quote :

"Woman actually mistakenly texts me"

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 9:59 AM. Reason : -]

4/25/2011 9:59:34 AM

this.

this is the saddest thread

4/25/2011 10:44:42 AM

I pretty much stop hanging out with anyone who talks extensively about "their knives"

4/25/2011 11:01:53 AM

This thread is sad on so many levels. I'm gonna give it an 8.5/10, but please know that it still has the potential to hit at least a 9 or 9.5.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 11:53 AM. Reason : ]

4/25/2011 11:52:51 AM

I, too, have never had sex

4/25/2011 11:55:20 AM

This thread reminds me of:

http://www.brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=324640


Maybe Cooper gave her your number.

4/25/2011 12:19:55 PM

Maybe it really was the girl and you kept going on about knives so she pretended to be someone else to get out of texting you

4/25/2011 12:30:21 PM

So... U are trying to pickup a girl by talking about knives...

4/25/2011 12:54:49 PM

you talk funny

4/25/2011 1:12:33 PM

congrats son

4/25/2011 1:16:17 PM

Sounds like a ClassicMixup

4/25/2011 2:12:58 PM

I, too, have received a text from the opposite sex.

4/25/2011 2:22:02 PM

Quote :

"this. this is the saddest thread"

4/25/2011 4:55:40 PM

There are times and places to talk about things. But talking about knives with a female you DIDNT meet at a knife convention is prelude to rape.

4/25/2011 5:12:33 PM

Quote :

"(Child women)"

4/25/2011 5:29:24 PM

She actually talked to me, man. Like a tractor beam. Sucked me right in.

4/25/2011 5:32:17 PM

the way you ended that was priceless.

[Edited on April 25, 2011 at 6:14 PM. Reason : f]

4/25/2011 6:14:19 PM

I feel like you're probably not going to get a strange, young girl to come look at "your knives"...

At least, any girl who goes to meet a guy she doesn't know at all to see knives deserves the stabbing that would likely ensue.

4/25/2011 7:55:03 PM

Or in Saab's case definitely will ensue.

4/25/2011 7:58:14 PM

LOL
funny

4/25/2011 9:13:46 PM

I have a girl in my store right now that has a fetish for being one of the pretty girls in horror movies that run blindly through the forest until they get stabbed. It says it turns her on to think about.

4/25/2011 9:22:53 PM

She probably just wants to be pretty and isn't

4/25/2011 9:24:23 PM

this thread delivers

lol

4/25/2011 10:25:50 PM

You know who else likes knives?....

4/26/2011 2:32:31 AM

Keep in mind that the main reason I posted this story is because it fits in so well with tdub's perception of me and my life. I think you deserve a story with such high confirmation value. It assists you in maintaining the illusion, which assists me in continuing to anger you with incredibly mild, non-angering actions.

Quote :

"Maybe it really was the girl and you kept going on about knives so she pretended to be someone else to get out of texting you"

Yeah, I actually mentioned that as one of the possibilities in a response. I see four distinct possibilities, as listed in another post of mine.

Quote :

"1) He gave her the wrong number on purpose (In which case he just picked a number, because I doubt I know him). 2) He accidentally gave her the wrong number (Pretty reasonable assumption, this is the most likely I think). 3) Someone I actually do know is fucking with me. 4) It is actually the girl I know and for whatever reason she decided that she didn't want to talk to me anymore after initially texting me. So, she then lied and pretended to be someone else, lol."

I also need to point out that a number of the people responding to the thread have misunderstood the situation and need to review a secondary explanation post of mine, shown here:

Quote :

"Indeed, I'm going to text her back and get her to let me show her my knives son. That's more important. Also, keep in mind that the girl I thought this was is not interested in me like that. This is actually why I didn't have any reservation about bringing up the knives. "

The girl I thought this was has also seen my knives numerous times. I harassed and frightened her by displaying them in a manly and homosexual manner quite regularly.

Quote :

"I pretty much stop hanging out with anyone who talks extensively about "their knives""

Son, let's be real here. You've never known anyone who "talked extensively about 'their knives'".

Quote :

"I feel like you're probably not going to get a strange, young girl to come look at "your knives"... At least, any girl who goes to meet a guy she doesn't know at all to see knives deserves the stabbing that would likely ensue."

I feel the same way. That's why I'm going to email pictures son, not have her "come look at 'my knives'".

Quote :

"There are times and places to talk about things. But talking about knives with a female you DIDNT meet at a knife convention is prelude to rape."

Nah.

Quote :

"So... U are trying to pickup a girl by talking about knives..."

Yes, this is clearly what I said I was trying to do.

Quote :

"this thread delivers lol"

I just lih.

[Edited on April 26, 2011 at 6:41 AM. Reason : t]

4/26/2011 6:25:52 AM

I EXPECTED A RESPONSE TO THAT.

4/26/2011 4:45:09 PM

Kryptonite : Being ignored | Superman : SaabTurbo

4/26/2011 6:42:48 PM

^ THIS

4/27/2011 10:28:34 AM

Ten-yard penalty on IMStoned420 for incorrect analogy format.

4/27/2011 10:39:35 AM

You know what I hate? Phone menus.

The other day I went to call one of those numbers that you see on bumper stickers. I hate the things myself, always leaving pieces of the bumper sticker behind when you try to take them off. I don't see why anyone would put a bumper sticker on their motor vehicle. Anyway, it was a bumper sticker that you sometimes see on vehicles that asks the question "How's my driving?" How's my driving? You should know, you are the one driving after all so you shouldn't have to ask. If you have to ask maybe the question you should be asking is why am I driving in the first place?

Well I decided to write down the information on the bumper sticker so I could call the number when I got home. I wanted to inform the local electric service provider that I had witnessed a woman driving one of their vehicles. The number on the sticker had an "866" area code, so I was a bit concerned about long distance charges applying to my bill. I dialed the operator and she assured me that the 866 area code was toll free. They should really do something about the quantity of telephone numbers. If we as a society have gotten to the point where there are so many telephone numbers that more area codes are needed to supply additional toll free services we need to take a step back and ask ourselves... are all the assigned telephone numbers really in use? Maybe it's time to stop assigning new numbers and start reassigning the numbers no one uses any more.

I finally dial the number and I'm greeted by a recording asking me to press 1 for English and 2 for Spanish. Spanish. With the way this country is headed pretty soon that recording will ask people to press 1 for Spanish and 2 for English. Can you imagine?

To make a long story short I discovered that I couldn't continue my telephone call due to what I would later discover as the inability of the phone menu system to recognize the numbers I was dialing from my rotary dial telephone. After discussing the problem with one of my grandchildren I was informed that I would need a new telephone.

When I arrived at the nearest Radio Shack the sales clerk attempted to sell me a telephone that didn't even have a wire to connect it to the wall. After a heated debate the sales clerk showed me a "touch tone" phone that worked on something called a "land line." I expressed my concerns that the telephone lines that connected to my home were on poles and that they were suspended in the air, but the clerk ensured me that it would work. I'm still not too sure about that guy.

The new telephone was $12.99. Can you imagine? So much for a telephone, that was nearly the same price as my mortgage payment when I was paying off my house. And why do prices always end in 99 cents? Like they are really tricking people into thinking that their goods cost a dollar less simply by deducting a penny from the asking price.

When I finally got home with my new telephone I had forgotten the issue I had with the driver of the local electric service provider truck. Having forgotten I had to make the assumption that his driving was beyond reproach, so I decided not to make the call after all.

4/27/2011 10:51:02 AM

You know, the thing that's really unfortunate about all of this is Meg son's unwillingness to simply apologize for this heinous crime.

I really don't understand it, my sons.

4/28/2011 3:43:52 PM

WAS NOT ME

4/28/2011 10:25:25 PM

I don't think "Hey baby, wanna see my knife collection?" generally works.


Unless you're at a biker bar. Or gun show.
and she has to work there
and like knives
and not think you're weird

Hey! At least I found some good venues for you to potentially woo some chicks.

4/28/2011 10:33:24 PM

Quote :

"I don't think "Hey baby, wanna see my knife collection?" generally works."

Shows how little you know, fool!

4/30/2011 10:15:46 AM