So, I figured we could start a thread for people trying to negotiate sticky situations with a modicum of decorum.


First up: I've got a roommate in his late 40s (I'm not in the US right now) who is on the phone with his wife literally EVERY time I walk into our room. He is probably on there a total of 4 hours a day and, while he tries to be discreet, I get really sick of having to listen to his infantile conversations with her. So do I a) need to suck it up or b) is there a courteous way to tell him that I don't need to listen to him talking to her for an hour about stabbing his daughter in law in the heart because they took advantage of their hospitality?

6/17/2011 4:01:08 PM

You guys share a bedroom or just a common area?

6/17/2011 4:04:20 PM

you share a room with a dude in his late 40's?

6/17/2011 4:05:14 PM

^ I share a room . . . well technically a tent . . . with three guys. One in his 20s and two in their 40s. So the common area is the bedroom is the common area.

6/17/2011 4:08:54 PM

Is there not another place where he could be on the phone that long without annoying somebody?

6/17/2011 4:10:53 PM

Could you ask him to step outside if he plans to be on the phone more than just a few minutes?

6/17/2011 4:11:42 PM

I was roommates with a few douchebags in their late 40's right after college. Worst three months of my life. Fuck you Mom and Dad.

6/17/2011 4:17:32 PM

Wish I could be able to talk to my wife while I'm away from home.

6/17/2011 4:24:52 PM

Well, I think just really be polite. Bring it up when he's not on the phone and hasn't just been on the phone. Maybe in the morning. Maybe when he mentions his wife in some other conversation, if he ever does, so it seems like he brought it up, not you.

You can always just blame yourself and say "Hey, it sounds like you and your wife have a great relationship, and I'm glad you get a chance to talk with her regularly, but I'm a little ADD and when someone is talking, even really discreetly, which I appreciate, I have trouble relaxing or concentrating on what I'm doing. Do you think you could try to take her calls outside sometimes? It would really help me out a lot. I love you, man."

6/17/2011 5:14:42 PM

See, this is another reason that I'm not in the military. I would assume that the correct procedure would be beating him with bars of soap at night.

Of course, that would be my fix-all for everything and I wouldn't have many friends.

6/17/2011 5:19:20 PM

Ask him to go outside for extended conversations. Or, alternatively, you can flee the tent and find something to do. My roommates and I in the dorms used to step outside for more private conversations.

Is your roommate also American? This will give us some context about how to handle it.

6/17/2011 5:27:41 PM

Unrelated:

I never knew that it was rude to respond with "What?" when someone calls you by name.... I still am not sure why...

6/17/2011 5:34:55 PM

Are you deployed? If so, unless it's interfering with your sleep and/or your own phone conversations, I don't see the issue.

6/17/2011 5:47:34 PM

I would turn him into the authorities for threatening murder.

6/17/2011 9:05:00 PM

you should just get really mad and restless and start sighing really loudly then huff and stomp your way out of the tent every time he gets on the phone

that'll show'em

6/17/2011 10:46:23 PM

buy some ear plugs.....I rent a room out of a house.....it works wonders when you have people that think 7am is party time.....

[Edited on June 17, 2011 at 11:40 PM. Reason : w]

6/17/2011 11:38:09 PM

Quote :

"I would assume that the correct procedure would be beating him with bars of soap at night."

Hah, he is actually one of the NICEST guys here . . . which makes this harder. Were he an ass I'd just tell him to shut the fuck up but every time I'm about to snap he starts telling his wife how awesome his roommates are.

Quote :

"Ask him to go outside for extended conversations."

It was nearly 120 here yesterday so on that level it is kind of dick. He's also using Skype so he really has to be near a computer.

Quote :

"Are you deployed? If so, unless it's interfering with your sleep and/or your own phone conversations, I don't see the issue."

Yeah, and that is why I'm a LOT more tolerant that I would be if I were somewhere I was paying for a room. I wouldn't mind going elsewhere for one or two conversations a day, but it is literally EVERY time I walk in the room. Leave for the gym, he's on Skype. Come back from the gym he's switched over to Magic Jack. If we go to chow together the first thing he does when we get back is get on the phone or Skype. She'll call him at 4am our time to let him know she made it home from the grocery store, which will prompt a 30 minute conversation.


I will freely admit, part of my annoyance is wives who cannot go any duration of time without contact with their husbands.

6/17/2011 11:57:30 PM

Quote :

"I never knew that it was rude to respond with "What?" when someone calls you by name.... I still am not sure why..."

Agreed that it's very rude, at least that's how I was raised, and I never respond that way. I've always seen it as 'short' for What do you want?, which would be a shitty way to respond to anyone who's trying to get your attention.

6/18/2011 12:04:24 AM

When I deployed, I made sure to have ear plugs and eye covers. I mean it sounds at the very least that you are on the same shift as this guy so be happy.

Also, you have one room mate..ONE. You're lucky.

[Edited on June 18, 2011 at 7:44 AM. Reason : a]

6/18/2011 7:42:25 AM

^He has 3 roommates...THREE.

6/18/2011 8:00:00 AM

That's still nothing.

Try getting some sleep in a 500 man tent.

6/18/2011 8:10:49 AM

AHA, isn't it easy though? I mean, you're tired when you go to sleep, right?

6/18/2011 8:33:35 AM

All I'm saying is if you're deployed, as long as you can sleep relatively uninterrupted and manage to get 30 min to yourself in your tent/room every now and then...you don't have it that bad.

6/18/2011 8:47:49 AM

1) I suspect you meant a 50 man tent . . . not a 500 man tent.
2) This thread is not a "my deployment sucked more than your deployment" thread. Everyone has had it worse than someone else and everyone has had it better than someone else.
3) I do not subscribe to the theory that, because some may have it worse than you, you should never try to make it better for yourself.


Anyway, back on topic, we've beat this one to death I suppose so free thread for anyone else . . .

6/18/2011 9:16:55 AM

Negative, I did mean 500 man tents. The transit tents when you're going through Manas at any given time will have 100-500 people in them

6/18/2011 9:28:39 AM