For example, during job searching, research or other periods of hard times. I usually do some sports and watch some motivated movies, or post something on TWW. How do you guys do?

7/22/2011 12:06:59 PM

I try to get out/away for a little bit. Go for a walk or meet up with friends


Something to try and get my mind off what might be going wrong

7/22/2011 12:08:45 PM

Go for a walk
Realize your problems are miniscule by comparison to others
Suck it up

7/22/2011 12:17:43 PM

play with my baby son
go to the shooting range
beat my wife
get a fry wrap at bada
take a nap
call my siblings
throw my router into the lake
drink a beer
go for a walk
make a list
encourage TWWers

[Edited on July 22, 2011 at 12:23 PM. Reason : btw excellent post shoot, keep up the good posting]

7/22/2011 12:22:20 PM

Quote :

"beat my wife with a fry wrap at bada"

7/22/2011 12:26:41 PM

This is something I gotta get better at. I'm piss poor at occupying my time during times of stress and depression...too damn OCD. It's always better when I do things with other people, but still I focus on the bad shit too much.

Work on cars, eat, and probably drink when I shouldn't.

7/22/2011 12:28:22 PM

I go on mad cleaning sprees

7/22/2011 12:46:33 PM

Work out, do yard work, or go watch movies.

That's pretty much about it and all three work very well. Working out is probably the best. I have my best workouts/runs when I'm running on negative energy.

7/22/2011 12:50:32 PM

Yes, I can tell I'm refreshed after basketball

7/22/2011 12:53:24 PM

I play hockey three nights a week; generally, at least one person will play hard which allows me to play a little more'physcial. Helps release stress when there's someone to battle with

7/22/2011 12:53:44 PM

That's a lot. I play basketball twice a week.

7/22/2011 12:55:17 PM

Its also expensive

But it keeps me in shape, and I enjoy it.

7/22/2011 12:57:56 PM

beer

and when it's really bad

tequila

7/22/2011 1:07:10 PM

fap

7/22/2011 1:22:23 PM

Abbr of what?

[Edited on July 22, 2011 at 1:24 PM. Reason : 1]

7/22/2011 1:24:08 PM

looks like grieg hyyer got an account after all

7/22/2011 1:32:30 PM

Clean
sex
exercise
cry
come up a plan (plans give me comfort and a clear goal to work towards.)

7/22/2011 1:33:38 PM

Quote :

" Realize your problems are miniscule by comparison to others Suck it up"

Pretty much. Shit happens, it bothers for me a little while (could be a few minutes, could be a few days...depends on what it is) and then I move on. I like to do stuff to occupy my time....going to the gym, cleaning, stuff like that to occupy my time and my mind.

7/22/2011 1:40:45 PM

You could try almost dying. That also puts things in perspective.

7/22/2011 1:51:12 PM

"Negative emotion" is a little vague. Are you bitter towards the circumstances you find yourself in, or are you mad at yourself for not performing better under those circumstances?

I would guide you away from the suggestions that amount to distracting yourself from the issues at hand and towards activities that will make you a more valuable person and move your life in a positive direction.

Make a structured work out plan and stick to it; take pride in your appearance. Track your progress.

Blast out of your comfort zone in social situations by striking up conversation with complete strangers. Especially for someone like you that is not from here, this is critical for your personal growth. Your personal and professional life depend on your ability to make connections and build rapport. It's gonna be weird at first, but over time, the rewards will be worth it. Remember that no amount of education will make you successful; your ability to gain trust and understanding from others will determine how well you do in life.

7/22/2011 2:20:13 PM

You are good at connecting people since you are political major

7/22/2011 2:36:33 PM

Yoga
bike riding, running, swimming
playing with dogs
hard manual labor outside (mucking out chicken coop, digging holes)
talking with friends

and of course, beer, and whiskey when it's bad (I had some epic fails with tequila in my day ).

7/22/2011 3:22:21 PM

Quote :

"Realize your problems are miniscule by comparison to others"

this is like the worst advice. just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean things aren't hard or don't suck at the moment for you. YES perspective is good but just being like "oh someone is worse than me" doesn't really build me up. it just makes me feel even more horrible.

i'd try something constructive like talking about it, or exercising, or making a to-do list and checking things off (even small things...like laundry...when you put a check it makes you feel accomplished and positive and in control of your life instead of having the negativity take over)

hobbies are good or just taking time to do something you like whatever it is...see a movie, hang with friends, take a nap, whatever.

7/22/2011 3:53:56 PM

So much advice. What actually works? Does any of it really matter?

I think I'm the classic skeptic when it comes to action. If I want something, then I decide to take action to get it, is getting that thing correlated with the decision in any F-ing way at all? When we're talking about personal problems and depression in particular, I believe that such measures often are really irrelevant. And let me tell the main reasons why IMO:
- the goals are vague
- "thinking" something is considered enough to constitute action

Your decision to do something different and get yourself out of your slump is worthless. You have accomplished nothing. What you need is a kick in the pants. You never got your homework problems done by thinking about them, and this is no different.

I've heard the case of Alcoholics Anonymous being presented as a model example of how to actually affect change in people's lives. In their case, they at least have a solid objective to start out with. Then they have rhetoric that communicate with, but I doubt that it matters. I really don't think it ever mattered that they classified alcoholism as a disease - I think it mattered that they sat people down with other people with similar problems and forced accountability upon them.

Now, there are people who actually don't want to change, and that's a different story. There are also people who say they want to change but don't really. The distinguishing factor is that the person with a will to change will accept help. Someone who wants to stay the same will always have an excuse. Always.

Walks are "meh"
Making new friends is hit and miss. Most opportunities you will find are unfocused, so keep your wishful thinking to a minimum.
Cleaning is awesome
Schedules are awesome
Goals (written down) are even better

Sharing your goals with someone else is even better yet
An accountability partner is actually getting somewhere

[Edited on July 22, 2011 at 5:05 PM. Reason : ]

7/22/2011 4:59:47 PM

Quote :

"this is like the worst advice. just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean things aren't hard or don't suck at the moment for you"

Yeah, but too often people are down about first world problems. Our generation is soft.

7/22/2011 5:12:15 PM

well that is true. like oh i can't get my video game today or whatever.

but i've had people say shit to me like "other people had bad things happen to" and i want to be like shut the motherfuck up i will murder you right now. you think i don't know that? and it typically comes from people who have never experienced anything even closely related. so it just makes me mad and more negative and want to go on a murderous rampage.

but for the small things, yeah perspective helps. but with things like unemployment, loss, death, etc...saying that shit can be really unhelpful and even more detrimental. just an FYI if you are trying to give someone advice. but for the smaller things a don't sweat it attitude is probably more approp. and a little perspective.

but even still if someone was like "i had a bad day at work" i wouldn't be like "oh well my dad has cancer" or "the other day i heard they declared a famine in africa and children are dying everywhere"

there is always someone worse off and i think people realize that. bringing more negativity to the picture just seems counterproductive and well...negative to me. perspective is definitely good, but that is often something people can only achieve on their own. know what i'm sayin? it is really hard to try to impute perspective on others. especially without sounding holier than thou.

Quote :

"Walks are "meh""

i disagree. when you have a lot of pent up aggression or negative energy, exercising can help you release that energy in a positive way and then allow you to refocus on your task at hand.

i don't find schedules all that helpful, personally. sometimes they make me even more negative because when life gets too routine it is kind of a drag (for me).

i think exercise and taking time to live and have fun and relax are the best cures for me they are the best curesssss.

[Edited on July 22, 2011 at 5:28 PM. Reason : .]

7/22/2011 5:21:12 PM

Yeah, it's mostly the smaller things people bitch about which piss my off. Someone I know will freak out about getting a B on the test, meanwhile I'm watching people getting laid off and being forced to move across country for work.

7/22/2011 5:28:57 PM

Walking barely counts as exercise unless you're overweight. If you're aiming to use exercise as a way to "get your mind right," you need to work hard, i.e. intense cardio or lift heavy weights.

7/22/2011 5:30:49 PM

Quote :

""this is like the worst advice. just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean things aren't hard or don't suck at the moment for you" Yeah, but too often people are down about first world problems. Our generation is soft."

So yeah, you can make a true statement like this, but the attitude is showing ignorance of the problem.

People act all washed up not in spite of the fact that we apparently have everything in our society, but precisely because of that fact. Now, poor people are less happy, yes, this has been shown, but the correlation is far far weaker than what most people think. On one hand, the poorest of the poor are certainly less happy. But the poorest of the poor in the world are almost always conflict regions. The big gray space between really bad off and really well off throughout the entire world is much much less clear in terms of what really makes people happy.

The other part of is that our suburban lifestyle and American individualistic values make people more disconnected from the success/failure of the people around them than they ever have been before. There are plenty of social theories about why bonds form more weakly in a society like ours. For instance, the optimal group size is far less than what you have in a city, and if someone gets "washed up" where they really don't have many (or any) friends they can turn to, then they're in a situation where they have life support from the fact that they can still go to the grocery store and work a dead end job, but they're in an environment that they don't have any good means of coping with and forming a community.

If people are soft, then how does that knowledge help them? If they are no better off due to the fact that life is "cushy" today, then a moralistic view of the situation is stupid and useless.

[Edited on July 22, 2011 at 5:36 PM. Reason : ]

7/22/2011 5:32:12 PM

This:

7/22/2011 5:38:35 PM

Quote :

"If people are soft, then how does that knowledge help them?"

It doesn't. It just sounds like people were far less depressed and sad before generation Y came along, where everyone was coddled 24/7 and praised just for trying. What's this constant obsession with being happy all the time? People need to learn to deal with being sad without sinking into some deep state of depression. I don't see why negative emotions need to be "handled" at all.

7/22/2011 6:13:08 PM

Quote :

"I don't see why negative emotions need to be "handled" at all."

Well, that's mostly the crux of the issue.

I do think there is a slightly different issue, where someone is genuinely unhappy because of their situation. Obviously, the best thing to do in that case is to change your life situation. People find themselves in unsatisfying jobs and relationships all the time.

7/22/2011 6:19:19 PM

Quote :

"I don't see why negative emotions need to be "handled" at all."

Because internalizing them and never taking corrective action leads down a self-destructive path.

7/22/2011 6:24:35 PM

Quote :

"I don't see why negative emotions need to be "handled" at all."

i guess it is like if you are unemployed or if something bad happens to you or if you are unhappy in a situation but you can't snap your fingers and have an instant change, you need to have an outlet? i mean not all changes happen overnight and it is difficult to stay positive 24/7 if you find yourself in bleak circumstances? you don't want to sink into a depression or have your negativity affect your relationship and life (like, overtake it or whatever).

plus i agree. internalizing things can sometimes lead to bad results.

but i too agree that being bummed out that you don't have a brand new bmw when you drive a honda that works just find is kinda like, get over it type shit.

7/22/2011 7:04:44 PM

Quote :

"Realize your problems are miniscule by comparison to others Suck it up"

i think like this after the initial shock of any bad news.

but usually i try to do something productive while i drink hahaha
like cleaning the house while having a few hefty glasses of wine.

7/22/2011 7:28:08 PM

By all means, if something traumatic happens take correct actions, go to therapy, do whatever it takes to prevent going on a self-destructive path, but I was referring to the majority of problems one might encounter during one's life. I wasn't referring to major events, such as death, rape, etc.

7/22/2011 8:26:11 PM

I stuff myself into food comas.

7/22/2011 8:47:11 PM

I just want to say that I hate it when people say stupid stuff like "everything happens for a reason", implying that it's actually a good thing in some grand scheme that something terrible happened.

7/22/2011 11:30:36 PM

I typically crush my negative emotion under the heavy curtain of self-loathing I carry around with me everywhere.

7/23/2011 12:24:07 AM

^^ while I won't say that as a way of making something bad sound good... there have been bad experiences and situations in my past that ultimately changed the course of my life. Had it not been for some of those situations I wouldnt have some of the things that are most important to me now.

I refuse to subscribe to a master plan ideology. Or to sugar coat a shitty situation, but I do sit there and hope things that are bad at the present ultimately lead to something I wouldnt ever trade for the world. it makes it more bearable. Its not a hard and fast rule, but it provides a little bit of positivity that another door may open.




[Edited on July 23, 2011 at 12:47 AM. Reason : .]

7/23/2011 12:44:41 AM

Quote :

"I just want to say that I hate it when people say stupid stuff like "everything happens for a reason", implying that it's actually a good thing in some grand scheme that something terrible happened."

Factually, they are wrong. However, they are right in the sense that you can recover faster if you convince yourself of BS like that.

Quote :

"I refuse to subscribe to a master plan ideology. Or to sugar coat a shitty situation, but I do sit there and hope things that are bad at the present ultimately lead to something I wouldnt ever trade for the world. it makes it more bearable."

No really, sugar coat it. People who are good at lying to themselves are better at life. That's just the way it is.

7/23/2011 4:30:41 PM

Quote :

"fap"

Quote :

"Abbr of what?"

7/23/2011 9:08:49 PM