Have you ever had a "work spouse"? From wikipedia:

Quote :

"A work spouse is a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex,[1] with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there. In one 2006 survey, 69% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife." A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy [of marriage] without the sex or commitment." "

I had a work spouse. It was not good for my relationship. Luckily, he got laid off.

[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 1:14 PM. Reason : ./]

10/10/2011 1:12:50 PM

Quote :

"In one 2006 survey, 69% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife.""

10/10/2011 1:15:35 PM

I mainly work with women

10/10/2011 1:15:35 PM

You can have a hetero work spouse. It's basically the person at work that you communicate with better than your sig other.

Unfortunately, work marriages can lead to emotional infidelities.

10/10/2011 1:17:59 PM

Not exactly a work spouse, but I have an e-boo... Sometimes I send him naked pictures of myself(breasts, sometimes my ass) even though I've only met him in person once...



Hi e-boo! I know you're reading this!!

10/10/2011 1:18:35 PM

Hi, E-Boo! Yes, I am reading this!

10/10/2011 1:19:55 PM

well that was an out of left field confession

10/10/2011 1:20:27 PM

SHUTUP, PSHOES!

10/10/2011 1:21:11 PM

Quote :

"immediate intimacy [of marriage] without the sex or commitment."

I'm not seeing the benefit as a man.

10/10/2011 1:27:03 PM

DEAR Minkagrl01,

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR BREASTS AND SOMETIMES YOUR ASS

THANKS,
settledown

10/10/2011 1:28:48 PM

There is only one man in my office... and no thank you there, so I'm without one

10/10/2011 1:36:01 PM

my money's on McDanger



[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 1:36 PM. Reason : E]

10/10/2011 1:36:22 PM

Lately, all 3 of my coworkers have been telling me of different drama/issues they are having right now. I don't have any drama/issues to share back though. :/

10/10/2011 1:42:43 PM

I'm with BobbyD on this.

10/10/2011 1:51:23 PM

Seems asinine. If I worked with any women, I'd avoid this practice and treat them like the objects they are.

10/10/2011 1:54:10 PM

I've had a few female bartenders that I've worked with that fall under this category.

Quote :

"It's basically the person at work that you communicate with better than your sig other."

It's never "better" than the person that I'm actually in a relationship with...but when you're slinging drinks with someone for 12 hours a day, 3/4 times a week...you get pretty close with them.

10/10/2011 2:08:36 PM

need women to have a work spouse

10/10/2011 2:11:26 PM

not a spouse but we were called the wonder twins at work

10/10/2011 2:13:48 PM

I guess I had one of these for a few years. She was like a office BFF, but we never took the friendship outside of the office. We talked about co-workers, politics, and whatever was going on in our lives. We joked on people behind their backs like you would do with one of your guy friends. If I heard rumors regarding structure changes I told her and vice versa; even things that we didn't tell anyone else because it could have had negative impacts. I feel like I know her whole family (especially her inlaws, lol) even though I've never met any of them except her husband once at an office party. I realized her husband is like a 10 year older version of myself, so it made a little sense.

[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 2:19 PM. Reason : l]

10/10/2011 2:15:41 PM

I had one of these at my last job. I was a writer. He was a designer. We worked on everything together and even won design awards together and made an awesome team. We basically shared a brain.

It was nice because our sig others worked in other fields. So we didn't feel the need to share the mundane details of our jobs with our sig others. We could geek out about design/creative stuff.

Working long hours was more fun because at least I had a partner in crime.

^ great example of a work wife

[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 2:19 PM. Reason : e]

10/10/2011 2:19:21 PM

I had a work wife, basically what Skack described. Actually, the first time I ever heard this term was when she told me her husband referred to me as her work husband. Briefly blew my mind. When she moved on to another job work sucked on an entirely new level. We keep in touch still, and I know a lot of her family outside work these days. My ex had a work spouse as well. They're engaged outside work these days (but true story)

10/10/2011 2:38:01 PM

Quote :

"Working long hours was more fun because at least I had a partner in crime."

did you guys hook up ever though?

10/10/2011 2:40:37 PM

as an engineer this is a resounding NO!!

10/10/2011 3:01:10 PM

I tried

10/10/2011 3:02:06 PM

Quote :

"did you guys hook up ever though? "

When we were both finally single, we made out a couple of times, but agreed not to date or do anything more serious bc of work ... and bc we knew we were prob on the rebound and unready for anything serious. Then he got laid off and had to move hours away for a new job.

10/10/2011 3:08:18 PM

I have an uncle whose marriage fell apart because of a situation like this.

10/10/2011 3:10:28 PM

^ that's sad and it's common. I've seen a lot of them in various offices. Sometimes it's innocent ... but they can quickly cross the line. Most experts say that you can have healthy "work marriages", but that you should never spend one-on-one time together outside the office and you should avoid drinking alcohol together.

10/10/2011 3:15:33 PM

I was reading this thread wondering how many of these end up in affairs, I guess some of the more recent posts answer my question.

10/10/2011 3:16:51 PM

A couple in my office is getting married soon. As soon as their divorces are finalized. They met here ... and then realized to ditch their spouses for one another.

10/10/2011 3:18:26 PM

a symptom that people work too hard -- bring on the 4 day work week!!!!

10/10/2011 3:20:00 PM

at my last job there were 3 specific women who would spend lots of time coming by and talking nonstop about their lives and their problems. one of them i eventually ended up working out with during lunch. every single day we would drive to the gym together (her car too, bc she offered) and we would dress out and workout. we would very rarely spot each other or workout together. i liked to do my own thing. but guys would nonstop hit on her and look at her and ask for her number. several even said that 'my wife was hot' and i would tell them she wasn't.

then after about a month of doing this she came up to where i was lifting and made some way out there comment about my arms and chest and how she was impressed. i got confused on the inside and assumed that she wanted me

she was happily married and would always talk about how her husband would make her breakfast and even iron her clothes and yet there she was every single day talking to me and wanting to work out and always always wanting to hang out.

when i got my new job she cried and said she has no reason to work there anymore.

a couple of times i thought about trying to cuckold her . and she seemed to go along with it fine. but i felt bad each time and decided not to destroy her marriage and family

10/10/2011 3:20:00 PM

the cuckold would be the husband, not her.... get your medieval derogatory terms right!

10/10/2011 3:25:32 PM

^^
you sir, are a good man!

[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 3:25 PM. Reason : ^]

10/10/2011 3:25:42 PM

punchmonk circa 2003/2004

10/10/2011 3:27:12 PM

what have we learned here?

work spouses lead to sexual tension which leads to behavior that may or may not be appropriate.

seems pretty durhurrr.

10/10/2011 3:28:17 PM

^^ haha!

10/10/2011 3:28:48 PM

This is not a problem in engineering

10/10/2011 3:35:02 PM

someone go find dje

10/10/2011 3:42:16 PM

My ex boss jokingly called me 'tiger woods' in a douchey way at a company lunch once, b/c a few girls at work would come talk to me daily about their life and sit down at my desk for 15-30 minutes and talk and communicate and we would have lots of lols. It kind of got me angry on the inside when he said it. But I lol'd when I saw how he was just jealous.

He was a douche with a 100% fake personality.

10/10/2011 3:49:16 PM

LOL, very well played, pilgrimshoes

10/10/2011 4:01:44 PM

i guess i had a hetero work girlfriend when i first started. but then she took advantage of knowing me so well and used it to hurt my feelings over small disagreements and eventually began to treat me like her slave and screw me over on a regular basis.

just like a bitch

10/10/2011 8:09:03 PM

This whole topic makes me really uncomfortable. But then again, my dad cheated on my mom with a woman who would fall under this category. He would even take me to her house as a kid and make me play with her bitch daughter while they disappeared for a few hours.


/Debbie Downer

10/10/2011 8:12:51 PM

10/10/2011 8:18:58 PM

I understand. I guess the scariest thing about this is that a majority of these types of relationships start innocently. And apparently a lot of people have them, at least according to some studies.

But that they can easily become a really bad thing.

10/10/2011 8:20:52 PM

Idk, in a way I can see it lead to sooooo many cases of emotional cheating. Which IMO is far worse.

10/10/2011 8:24:11 PM

It absolutely does. And yeah, IMO, emotional infidelity may actually be worse.

10/10/2011 8:28:00 PM

Quote :

"Most experts say that you can have healthy "work marriages", but that you should never spend one-on-one time together outside the office and you should avoid drinking alcohol together."

whoopsy What if it was necessary therapy?
Had a co-worker that I got along very well with and we basically needed each other for sanity before they fired everyone around us and hired in sane people. We worked well together, had similar styles of humor, and were the only two people in the damn place with an actual work ethic. Was never attracted to him other than a friend though.

10/10/2011 8:36:41 PM

Sounds like a recipe for disaster any way you cut it. Don't see it ending well for anyone involved.

10/10/2011 8:37:13 PM

Please to describe "emotional infidelity." I just want to make sure I don't commit this horrible act.

10/10/2011 8:42:37 PM

i've got two work wives

one's woman and the other's a man

also i never knew "work spouse" meant some sort of romantic thing

i just figured it meant you treated projects like a baby and you and your work wife have to always deal with each other on equal footing in order to get it done

[Edited on October 10, 2011 at 8:45 PM. Reason : +]

10/10/2011 8:42:49 PM