Where the bird steals a barrel of whiskey, then dude gets in another barrel which the hawk takes and then he finds himself in a giant bird nest with a hot girl, at which point he kills the hawk and gets the girl.

That's all fine and dandy, but I'm sure that the bird must have used it's talons to grab her, so she has some pretty horrific scars from where the claws punctured her torso. We're talking way worse than c-section scars and I doubt that the doctors at the time could do much to make it look better.

12/6/2011 6:45:18 PM

12/6/2011 6:46:00 PM

Remember, bitches wore mad corsets back then, so one with wire framing could have shielded her from much of the damage.

12/6/2011 6:49:00 PM

the talons could have just wrapped around her, do you dig your fingernails into your dick when you hold it?

12/6/2011 6:50:56 PM

How I hold my dick is none of your business, kind sir.

12/6/2011 6:52:21 PM

I'm alright with these commercials, represent my name better than michael imperioli's smug BS

12/6/2011 6:53:11 PM

^^^haha

12/6/2011 6:55:48 PM