and check your email and text messages. Do any of y'all exist?

Last 2 girls I dated did this. I was woken up by a crazy bitch at 3am this morning because she went through my phone and read all the emails and texts between me and and my ex. I wasn't guilty of anything, she took some shit out of context and flipped out, but that's beside the point. The funny thing is, the ex whose emails she was reading, had done the same thing to me months earlier.

This shit is really pissing me off.

12/10/2011 9:21:59 AM

Yes. I would NEVER go through my husbands phone, computer, truck etc.

If I can't trust him then I wouldn't be with him. I expect the same respect in return.

Some bitches be crazy

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 9:25 AM. Reason : .]

12/10/2011 9:24:30 AM

I expect a level of privacy, so I don't go through his shit if he doesn't go through mine... trust

12/10/2011 9:28:42 AM

I've never done that. I'm not saying if you were acting like a complete sketchball I wouldn't, but its not something I'd do just to do it

12/10/2011 9:30:35 AM

I've dated many many different guys... I never gave a crap about looking through their phone. Most of the time, if your SO has something to hide or is cheating, it will come out in another way.

That being said... I did this to ONE guy I dated because he a) was being sketchy with his phone (taking calls at odd hours and not telling me who it was or seemed awkward about it, etc.) b) had a history of cheating.

He kept his text message inbox empty by deleting messages daily. Ended up cheating on me.

He was the only person I ever felt the need to look at his phone, and I did it once and still feel kind of bad about it because he told me to my face that he cheated and I wouldn't have even had to look at his phone which didn't even give me proof that he was cheating in the first place.

I still don't think that is acceptable. If someone is committed to you (you are their SO) and the relationship is going well (which is your responsibility too, relationship maintenance is a must!) then they have made the statement that they are 'with you' and you should trust them and respect their privacy.

Besides, I'd rather not find out that way.

On the other hand, I've had a friend who caught 2 boyfriends cheating on her by going through their e-mail.

/rant

12/10/2011 9:32:01 AM

Nope.

I routinely go through my husband's phone and on occasion his Email. Not because I don't trust him, but because he's horrible about looking at his voice mail, missed calls, and personal Email. When we were dating, there were two big family emergencies that flipped his family out because they couldn't make contact with him. Now his folks know that I can immediately be reached, but not everyone knows that.

12/10/2011 9:32:30 AM

I don't think I act sketchy, I unlocked my phone in front of these girls which is how they knew the pattern. It isn't like I was lying to these girls either. The last girl read the emails through her jealous girl lenses which is why she flipped out. It took me at least an hour to calm her down and explain the context of the emails.

This girl who did this to me last night literally just called me asking me to forgive her and I don't know if I can. It was an egregious invasion of privacy. The more I think about it the more it pisses me off.

12/10/2011 9:38:49 AM

If she's done it once, she'll do it again. Keep that in mind when you contemplate forgiving her. If it's not a deal breaker, but you really don't appreciate it. . .go through her's and see how she feels about it. She may just not realize how invasive it feels to you. Then again, you could be sabotaging yourself because she may not care if you go through her stuff.

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 9:43 AM. Reason : .]

12/10/2011 9:42:46 AM

Yeah, my husband doesn't really care if I read his texts. Sometimes I'll go through his, if I'm looking for something (i.e. his Mom sent him Christmas plans via text, etc.) But I don't read all the other texts while looking for that one. I don't care if he looks through mine. We both know each others' email passwords, but it's crossing a line to do that without express permission, or searching for something specific (like directions to some place, or a purchase order we both have). But we don't go through randomly opening up emails that interest us. We don't share facebook passwords, but I wouldn't have a problem with it, neither of us has anything to hide.

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 9:52 AM. Reason : I never do it if he's not standing right there either. Behind his back would be creepy.]

12/10/2011 9:46:29 AM

Quote :

"This girl who did this to me last night literally just called me asking me to forgive her and I don't know if I can. It was an egregious invasion of privacy. The more I think about it the more it pisses me off."

To me, that's huge deal breaker.

I can pretty much guarantee she will probably do it again. She just might not come right out with the information the next time.

12/10/2011 9:51:07 AM

^^Yeah, whenever I do it he's always right there. Usually, I go through his phone while he's driving and we're on our way somewhere.

12/10/2011 9:55:12 AM

If I use my husband's phone, it's bc I can't find mine (rare) or I'm using it for him while he's driving. I don't go through his phone, Facebook or emails to sneak. Like others have said, if I have he's been right there.I've never been through his truck. Not that I could find anything if I did...that shit is messy!

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 10:03 AM. Reason : ]

12/10/2011 10:00:25 AM

Sounds like you just date crazy people.

12/10/2011 10:04:28 AM

Sounds like you just date crazy people.

12/10/2011 10:15:45 AM

Yikes. That's nutty.

My bf lets me use his phone and I use his, but I don't go through the phone and he doesn't go through mine. I think that would be very boring, since we tend to tell each other basically everything that matters. Then again, we trust one another and live together.

It's silly to be with someone you don't trust. And if you don't trust anyone, then see a shrink, bc the prob is in your head.

12/10/2011 10:25:54 AM

heaven forbid locking the damn keypad.

12/10/2011 10:38:16 AM

Quote :

"I don't think I act sketchy, I unlocked my phone in front of these girls which is how they knew the pattern."

I wouldn't think too badly of a girl if she just randomly started going through my text messages in front of me. But for them to watch you enter your password, memorize it, and then unlock and view your messages without your knowledge? That's crazy, unethical, etc, etc.

12/10/2011 10:45:59 AM

what about girls you just started dating that go through your phone and randomly call other girls in there?

12/10/2011 10:46:10 AM

I'll be the first lady ITT to admit I have done this out of a crazy moment, but it was mainly going through old instant messaging things - it was in the beginning of our relationship and I was skeptical about this one girl he always hung out with, and I let my insecurities get the best of me (and my ex would talk to the girl he dumped me for all the time through email, IM, etc, so I was worried)


I felt horrible about it, and ended up coming clean. Now if I go through his phone, he is there and it's more of a "oo let me look through your phone" thing, not a jealousy one. It's more nosy than insecurity but I still feel pretty horrible about that time

12/10/2011 10:50:37 AM

Nobody has ever done this to me (that I'm aware of).

Maybe you should stop dating mentally ill women.

12/10/2011 10:55:40 AM

I think most girls who do it probably don't tell you they do it, unless they find something that pisses them off so much they can't help but confront you.

12/10/2011 10:57:39 AM

sometimes I wonder if being a woman is a mental illness

12/10/2011 10:58:21 AM

Quote :

" It took me at least an hour to calm her down and explain the context of the emails. "

Would've been a lot faster and easier to dump her.

12/10/2011 11:02:21 AM

But if you go looking for trouble, you'll find it. I think lots of girls do it and won't admit to it, and flip out for what you think is a different reason, without telling you that they invaded your privacy. If a girl goes through my messages and is already having jealous feelings, she'll see something she doesn't like. These girls are looking at messages that aren't within the context of real life... just snippets in text. It's so easy to misconstrue what you are reading.

Two of two of you said maybe I should stop dating crazy (or mentally ill) women. I have been trying to do this for quite some time now. I figured this girl was pretty well-adjusted. A 3rd year law student, gets good grades, has friends at the school and didn't have a rep for for being nuts, and as much gossip as we have at our school, i never heard about her doing anything crazy.

The other girl who recently did this is a lawyer, beautiful girl, but one of my friends DID warn me that she can be kinda nuts sometimes.

Quote :

"Would've been a lot faster and easier to dump her."

I thought about this... but she didn't tell me why she was so angry. At first I thought it was because i said some other girl's name in my sleep. She woke me up yelling at me telling me to get the fuck out of her apartment, and I refused to leave because I had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until a good 30 or 40 minutes of bullshit before she finally told me she went through my phone. When she told me she went through my phone I almost got up and walked out... but I decided that before I do anything, I explain to her that whatever she thought was going on, was not in fact going on.

I definitely understand where you're coming from though. She called me apologizing again, and she wants me to forgive her, said she'll make it up to me, etc... But I'm really not feeling too good about that.

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 11:07 AM. Reason : ]

12/10/2011 11:03:30 AM

Yeah, most lawyers are nuts. But I think this is a sign of insecurity, not nutso.

[Edited on December 10, 2011 at 11:04 AM. Reason : ]

12/10/2011 11:04:30 AM

What the fuck kind of 1990s cell phones do you people have?? Lock that screen, yo.

12/10/2011 11:05:32 AM

Read the post! I did lock it. She knew my unlock pattern.

12/10/2011 11:08:23 AM

Quote :

"But I think this is a sign of insecurity, not nutso."

ding ding ding

12/10/2011 11:09:31 AM

^

12/10/2011 11:14:28 AM

^^this. female indicates nutso. going through your phone/email/etc is insecurity.

12/10/2011 11:16:50 AM

so she's an insecure nutso. I knew that much, haha

12/10/2011 11:32:41 AM

Quote :

"Read the post! I did lock it. She knew my unlock pattern. "

Then it wasn:t really locked, was it?

12/10/2011 11:38:10 AM

My fiancé's friend dated a girl just like this. Are you still in DC? This girl lives in DC could be the same crazy girl

12/10/2011 11:40:39 AM

She must be great in bed for you to put up with that.

12/10/2011 11:43:39 AM

^^ I am still in DC... both of these girls are from California - if that narrows it down!

12/10/2011 11:46:54 AM

I did this to an ex but its because i wanted confirmation that she was fucking me over. I pretty much knew it but needed to see it with my own eyes.


I did feel bad about it but i saw what i needed to see.

thank god im not in that relationship anymore

12/10/2011 1:31:16 PM

Even when I was dating a guy that I'm pretty damn sure was cheating on me I didn't do anything crazy like hack his email or anything (this was before the days of cell phone texting ). I am so glad that relationship is over.

12/10/2011 1:33:02 PM

Tell her she can trust you or fuck off. I don't understand why would you put up with this. By the way she's not that cool [she's really not cool at all], you're just confused because she has a vagina.

Really you already lost by already letting her do it ever. Basically don't ever let anyone walk over you. Fuck that

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

12/10/2011 1:33:07 PM

Yep, broke up with a gf of 1.5yrs because I caught her going through my email, and I had a sneaking suspicion she was going through my phone too which I later verified.

She had always had some jealousy deal with the ex before her because I told her that I still kept in contact with her once in a while (I keep in loose contact with many of the girls I've dated, no reason to burn bridges unnecessarily). We were strictly friends, if that, and most of our conversation was me giving her closure and helping her through getting over me. That's all the gf at the time saw, and that's all there was.

Anyway, broke up with her on the spot. If you want to see my email or aren't comfortable with the level of information you've been given, just ask. Even then I'm going to think you're some sketchball or that you have trust issues but at least I'll still have respect for you...best just to let your SO fuck up on their own without invading their privacy if that's what you think is going on.

12/10/2011 1:43:57 PM

i fucking hate when people type SO because i forget what it means and i think they are just emphasizing so

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

12/10/2011 1:59:41 PM

ive cought my girl doing it like once or twice, it was just when she was using my phone to make a call and she diverted to me texts. she swifty found she had nothing to worry bout. they were all from her, reminders from my mom about shit, and my friends being dicks

12/10/2011 2:01:38 PM

I've never looked through a guys phone/email etc before and don't think I ever will. You have to trust them..that's why you should put a passcode on your phone lol

12/10/2011 2:02:11 PM

then again, i dont have shit to hide. so i really dont care if she looks through my crap.

12/10/2011 2:03:44 PM

Quote :

"Really you already lost by already letting her do it ever."

was this directed to me? You understand I never let her do this right? She did this while I was sleeping. She's been calling me crying all morning and afternoon because she knows I'm probably about to end it.

12/10/2011 2:07:13 PM

Quote :

"She's been calling me crying all morning and afternoon because she knows I'm probably about to end it."

So she knew the probable outcome of her actions and did it anyway. I say cut this one lose and count yourself lucky you:re not engaged or something.

12/10/2011 2:08:48 PM

Good. Let her cry, and tell her to fuck off. Maybe she won't do it to the next guy.

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

12/10/2011 2:09:07 PM

Of a girl constantly goes through your phone... She is a bitch, but it also means you are attractive. Congrats

12/10/2011 2:17:20 PM

Well, the girl before her read my emails too... but she did so by getting on one of my computers while I was at school (i accidentally left the window logged into gmail). They both invaded my privacy looking for info about each other... a couple months apart in time. I'm wondering if it's because of a unique situation we were in, or if I am just dating exceptionally crazy bitches.

This girl read my texts a few years ago but I wasn't in any relationship with her so I didn't care and just ruled out ever getting into anything deeper with her.

It's happening often enough where I'm wondering if this shit is just common practice now.

12/10/2011 2:28:21 PM

12/10/2011 2:34:44 PM

No you just have terrible judgement

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

12/10/2011 2:37:48 PM