Right where you left it.


Why do gorillas have such large nostrils?
Because they have such big fingers.


Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

12/13/2011 4:38:54 PM

Quote :

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

12/13/2011 4:39:34 PM

Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out-tide

It's a little better when spoken, sorry

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 4:47 PM. Reason : thnx dweedle, that's better]

12/13/2011 4:41:37 PM

What do Eskimos get when they sit on ice too long?
Polaroids.

12/13/2011 4:43:43 PM

bbehehehehehehehehehehehe

12/13/2011 4:44:02 PM

There was a fire accident in a pie factory in Durham.

3.14 people dead!

12/13/2011 4:44:53 PM

Quote :

"Why do Eskimos wash their clothes with tide? Because it's too cold out-tide"

I bet the question in the joke actually asks "in tide"

12/13/2011 4:45:40 PM

attn: fleetwud

12/13/2011 4:46:44 PM

3^

durham killed that joke

12/13/2011 6:25:10 PM

I didn't know there was a pie factory in Durham.

12/13/2011 6:27:18 PM

Knot anymore their ain't!

12/13/2011 7:26:56 PM

^^ It's called Scratch.

12/13/2011 7:57:11 PM

Added to my topics

12/13/2011 8:10:19 PM

did you hear about the new sex change operation for women?

its called an addadicktome

12/13/2011 9:15:36 PM

What device is the best to find furniture in a poorly lit room?
Your shinbone.


Why do birds fly south for the winter.
It's easier than walking.


What's big, fuzzy, green, with six pockets and four legs and if it fell from a tree it would kill you?
A pool table.


On which side of a turkey would you find the most feathers?
The outside.


What would you have if you held four apples and two oranges in one hand and four oranges and two apples in the other?
Really big hands.

12/13/2011 11:27:08 PM

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!

What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!

What language do they speak in Cuba?
Cubic!

Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!

How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke
when he's a baby!

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!

What is a myth?
A female moth!

12/14/2011 12:07:07 AM

How many [insert your own group of people] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and the other nine to spin the ladder.

12/14/2011 12:11:53 AM

Quote :

"What is a myth? A female moth!"

I don't get it

12/14/2011 12:17:42 AM

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

12/28/2011 12:44:01 AM

The Haven down by Raeford had a dog with no legs about 15 months ago. I don't know if he's still there.

12/28/2011 1:13:36 AM

Quote :

"How many [insert your own group of people] does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to hold the bulb and the other nine to spin the ladder."

Wow... never heard that variation before... hahahahaha I like!

12/28/2011 5:19:09 AM

What do you call a dinosaur that needs glasses?
Donthinkysaurus.

12/28/2011 10:54:39 PM

Why don't birds wear underwear?

Because their pecker is on their head

12/28/2011 11:22:27 PM

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says...

why the long face.

12/29/2011 2:27:39 AM

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says...

sorry, you'll have to leave your horse outside

12/29/2011 8:42:56 AM

someone add more

10/1/2012 9:05:07 PM

How do they know that The Three Wisemen were firemen?
Cuz they came from a far!


Why don't seagulls live in the bay?
Because then they'd be called bagels

[Edited on October 1, 2012 at 10:11 PM. Reason : ibtniggerjoke]

10/1/2012 10:10:45 PM

Whats white and green and goes 150mph?

A bullfrog driving a white lamborghini!!

VAROOOMMMMM

10/1/2012 10:25:19 PM

Why can't a Chinese couple make fair skinned children?

Two wongs don't make a white

10/1/2012 11:11:21 PM

the only thing this thread really accomplished on my end is that I picked my nose

nothing there, so now I'll be going to another thread :3

10/2/2012 12:27:10 AM

Knock Knock

10/2/2012 10:10:25 AM

who's there?

10/2/2012 10:35:19 AM

Why didn't the teddy bear finish his supper?
Because he was already stuffed.


What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


What did the man say when he walked into the bar?
Ouch.


How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but it's gonna take a pretty big lightbulb to fit them in there...


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

10/2/2012 11:11:58 AM

Quote :

"Why did the elephant paint his nuts red? To hide in the cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? It worked, huh? How did Tarzan die? Picking cherries."

Quote :

"What is the hardest part about learning to ride a horse? The ground."

Quote :

"What do you call a cow that just had a baby? De-calf-inated."

Quote :

"What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

Quote :

"How many Carolina Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. They hold the bulb and let the world revolve around them. How many ECU students does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes 6 years. How many WCU students does it take to change a light bulb? They have electricity in Cullowhee now? How many Meredith students does it take to change a light bulb? 6. 2 to plan the fundraiser, 2 to make the t-shirts, 1 to design the bumper sticker and 1 to change the light bulb. How many Davidson students does it take to change a light bulb? 4. 1 to do it and 3 to write letters to the administration about how they shouldn't have to change light bulbs because they should have gone to an Ivy League school."

10/2/2012 12:39:12 PM

During a Sunday School class, the preacher is talking about the resurrection of Jesus. Before getting too far, he asks the children if anyone knows what resurrection means.

After a brief pause of no replies, one kid raises his hand and says, "I don't know what it means, but if it lasts for more than four hours, you should see your doctor".

10/2/2012 1:37:23 PM

Quote :

"The Wooden Ball An old man walks into the barbershop for shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.""

10/2/2012 3:12:13 PM

Quote :

"A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?" "Hell no!" the guy said. The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?" The man said, "Of course not." "Wanna go camping?" "

10/2/2012 3:14:14 PM

Quote :

""Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "

whats so funny?

10/2/2012 3:25:01 PM

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuffed down the front of his pants.
He sits down to order a drink and the bartender looks at him and can't resist.
He asks the pirate what the wheel is for.
The pirate replies "Yarrr, it's drivin' me nuts."

10/2/2012 4:06:19 PM

WE NEVER WOULD HAVE MET. THE BEAT BROUGHT US TOGETHUUUUUHHHHH

10/2/2012 10:22:41 PM

10/2/2012 10:24:38 PM

10/2/2012 10:49:40 PM

why don't birds wear underwear?

cause their pecker's on their head

10/3/2012 12:00:21 AM

10/3/2012 12:02:49 AM

Who's there.

10/3/2012 2:22:00 AM

/message_topic.aspx?topic=634010

did not remember this one.

[Edited on June 7, 2013 at 11:16 AM. Reason : ]

6/7/2013 11:16:22 AM