At work...what would you do?

Someone told me to say to him, "I'm going to say this for the first and the last time, ' DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN'."

And then start documenting everything he says to me afterwards...


I will also mention, this person is on an anti pit-bull agenda and when he said to me that pitbulls should be outlawed and all pitbuls that are kept has pets should be put down (regardless of being nice or mean) I said, the way the pitbull acts is based on the way they were raised and their genes...

He said to me (while making a huge 'look at me' scene)...

"You are just showing how stupid and ignorant you are and obviously your 'State College' taught you nothing about animals. I raise horses and this one pitbull attacked my horse, so I know for a fact how pitbulls act, you dumbass"

And then today he jumps into a conversation a coworker and I are having (of which he has been giving no back story) and proceeds to call us stupid for not knowing the proper actions to take.
When he tells us the "proper actions" to take he gives us the obviously wrong "proper actions to take" because he has no clue whats is going on...

Him: "Uhh, if you looked at this e-mail we were sent you would know who you needed to talk to "

Me: "Well I did look at that e-mail, just to make sure, and the answer I needed was not in that e-mail so I needed to check with someone just to make sure"

Him: "I didn't ask you for your opinion, bitch. Well I don't fucking care anyway"

Me: "If you don't care why did you just make a big deal?"

Him: "I work at a daycare!"

Me: " Now why would you just say that?"

Him: "Because I wanted to...don't try to start a fight with me...if you try to start a fight with me you won't win that shit, you are nothing to me, you are a dumbass who went to state college, so obviously you have no intelligence"

At this point I turn around in my chair and ignore everything else he says...I also document what he says...my supervisor and her supervisor are out of town at this moment so I can't go to them with this.....

But he talks to me like that at least every other day...sometimes every day...it's worse when our supervisor isn't there...




I have never had to deal with a bully irl (a few on tww, but never irl). Have any of y'all had to deal with this situation?
Let me also add...this guy is in his 30s, single, has no friends (which he will openly admit "because everyone is too ignorant to the world views" to be his friend), and uses any of his free time to talk about how his boyfriend is such an asshole.


Coworkers have said to me "I've seen and heard the things he says to you, and you know the best way to make it stop is to ignore it or don't let him know it bothers you"
But honestly...why do I have to put so much effort into ignoring someone who talks to me like that...why is it acceptable to talk to a person in the mean and hateful and rude way that he talks to me?
I've had people that see the way he talks to me tell me "Just tell him 'fuck you' to make him shut up"
But this is one of those situations where if feels like with my luck the moment I say "fuck you" is the moment that the CEO of the company is walking by...or even my supervisor hears it and I lose my job....
I've pretty much been dealing with this same situation since I've started working there over a year ago, but it's finally gotten to the point where it's affecting my job performance. I will also add that he has openly admited that since he "has made two other girls quit their job" his new objective is to see if he can "make me quit."
I have to get up and walk away because if I don't I'm going to snap, and you don't wanna make sawahash mad.

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 12:36 AM. Reason : I wish this was a situation where I was making it look worse than it really was...but it's totally n]



[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 12:43 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 12:30:56 AM

Stab him with a pencil. That is what I did in elementary school.

1/11/2012 12:37:22 AM

Document it, confirm specific details of what coworkers have witnessed and ask if they are willing to corroborate to your supervisor about it. Take it up the chain with as many specifics and as many witnesses as you need to get him disciplined or shitcanned. That's a hostile work environment.

1/11/2012 12:38:18 AM

Samwise16 has a sword you can borrow, or you can have drunknloaded rape him.

1/11/2012 12:38:26 AM

Is his approach to others similar, or is his harassment only to you?

1/11/2012 12:38:50 AM

I'm sorry, sawahash. I once had a bully at work, but he and I got laid off before he could make me snap.
You need to take your complaint to a higher power that you can trust.

1/11/2012 12:39:26 AM

BEAT DAT ASS!! Or tell someone who will.

1/11/2012 12:39:33 AM

I run into people like this sometimes, and one phrase that has always helped me as lame as it sounds is "forgive them, for they know not what they do". This guy obviously has some serious issues and from what you're saying it sounds like he's living a bitter, lonely, and shitty life. As much as you probably want to smack a bitch, you definitely shouldn't stoop down to his level as from personal experience there's no telling what kind of shitstorm you'll walk into.

It may help a little by bringing this up to the supervisor, but I don't really see how it will change anything at all if all he is doing is talking shit. If you think what he's doing is more along the lines of harassment, however, you damn sure better have your ducks in a row before you throw out an accusation like that to the higher-ups (and I've never been in a situation like this, but it seems like the thing to do would be to do what you are doing and document certain instances/facts and if possible have someone verify their truthfulness).

1/11/2012 12:43:05 AM

Document, document, document.

Talk to HR.

1/11/2012 12:44:33 AM

I have spoken to my supervisor a few times about this...I think I have a great supervisor...the only time that it becomes a problem with her is during this situation...

I say that because anytime I go to her about this it gets 10 times worse with him because I think she tells him that I'm the one who brought up the situation so he hounds me even more...

I've ultimately stopped going to my supervisor because I don't feel that she knows how to handle this properly...I feel like the only option I have now is the go to HR.
I mean I don't want to cause him to lose his job, but at the same time I honestly cannot work with him. I spent my lunch crying today because I honestly don't think I can take that verbal harassment anymore without snapping"

1/11/2012 12:46:11 AM

Maybe try and surreptitiously tape record him talking to you that way. That'd for sure be enough evidence.

1/11/2012 12:47:54 AM

Take it to HR. He created his own mess.


[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 12:49 AM. Reason : forget about his job, unless it's better than yours--then take his.]

1/11/2012 12:48:35 AM

Fuck this guy. If it's between his job or your sanity, then fuck his job. He's being a dipshit and deserves to pay for it.

1/11/2012 12:49:24 AM

I stopped caring after

Quote :

"I mean I don't want to cause him to lose his job"

.

1/11/2012 12:50:36 AM

seems like it would be pretty easy to get him fired.

he is probably hateful to women because he has been rejected by so many himself.

there is no reason to take that...i have no clue why you wouldn't want him fired.

also, if you want to give him a sick burn, look him right in the eyes and tell him the same thing you told us: "i can see why you're such a douche...it's obvious how shitty your life is"

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 12:57 AM. Reason : .]

1/11/2012 12:51:01 AM

Yeah...honestly it's getting to the point where I'm like "fuck it, if he can't afford his rent and to feed his "horseys" then it's his own problem"
If he thinks he can talk to me...or anyone...in that way then he doesn't deserve to have this type of job.

1/11/2012 12:51:16 AM

You can do it. You have the power. Go out there and fuck this guy right in the asshole!

1/11/2012 12:52:34 AM

Don't feel bad about being the reason some asshole--who verbally abuses people and who was personally responsible for two other people losing their jobs--lose his job.

1/11/2012 12:52:42 AM

Record him.

1/11/2012 12:53:08 AM

sawahash loses her job and said bully gets promotion ITT.


For real though, I'll be your social assassin for $100.

1/11/2012 12:53:48 AM

Definitely document, and the tape recording thing is ideal. What kind of phone do have? If you can get apps, Dragon is a good way to record things. The fact that he is trying to make you quit, among other things, is evidence enough this guy is not all there and like someone else said, if it's between your sanity and his job it's time to end this ish.

1/11/2012 12:55:36 AM

I have a smart phone where I can record him. I might do it the next time he goes on his rants or whatever you call them.

He will walk into work and sit down at his desk and announce "I'm on the rag, if you're smart you won't mess with me today"

Uhh...we fucking work in customer service...if you're going to bitch about that then I think you're in the wrong profession.

The only reason I work there is because I was a dumb ass as got a useless degree in english education when there is a hiring freeze unless you're already in the system.

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 12:59 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 12:58:12 AM

I'd be really wary of recording.

1/11/2012 12:59:16 AM

what is with the references to him being on the rag and complaining about boyfriends? is he gh3y?

1/11/2012 1:02:19 AM

^^Why? Is it illegal or something?

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:02 AM. Reason : ^ Also was wondering this. ]

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:03 AM. Reason : .]

1/11/2012 1:02:34 AM

^^ i was wondering the same thing

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:03 AM. Reason : .]

1/11/2012 1:02:50 AM

I would think you coud get away with it if it were a recording of something he was saying to her versus something he was saying to a customer or something

Regardless, might want to double check beforehand

1/11/2012 1:02:57 AM

I also talked to my parents about it...and normally they have really good advise for me but they were both like "I've never had to deal with this so I don't know the best way to tell you do deal with this"

But my dad did say to let my boss know that I've started to document this and that I will be giving formal complaints about this guy so that she will pay a little more closer attention to what happens between the two of us.


I mean I understand that to some people this may seem like I am being a cry baby...but honestly...I'm a lover not a figher, my personality is not the type that wants to cause conflit. I just want to go through life doing what I need to do to get by...hang out with my friends, enjoy life, make some money...I'm not going to discriminate based on anything...I have always, and will always, judge people based on their actions...not on who and what they are.

Quote :

"what is with the references to him being on the rag and complaining about boyfriends? is he gh3y? "

yes....and he won't let you forget that...
Shit... I can't talk about being in a musical when I was in highschool without him bragging about being Tigger at Disneyworld.

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:08 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 1:05:12 AM

^^^^ Dunno, that's why I'd be wary.

sawahash needs to stay above board. She's talked to her supervisor several times; now it's time to let HR do their job.

1/11/2012 1:06:32 AM

Voice recorder..

seriously.


Use your phone to start recording your conversations. He doesn't need to know that you are recording. As long as one party consents and is aware of the recording (which obviously would be you), then it is perfectly legal. Written documentation, without eye witnesses to back you up and be willing to testify on your behalf, is more or less just going to be a his word versus yours battle. Get hard evidence (ie: voice recorder/video recording). With the written documentation, get signatures from eye-witnesses too.




You are more polite than I would ever be. <3 sawahash




[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:11 AM. Reason : .]

1/11/2012 1:06:54 AM

IMO there wound be no difference between you popping on the dragon dictation program versus hand written documentation (or your could do both)

You need some hard evidence to stick it to him, obviously. Does he ever email you?

1/11/2012 1:08:12 AM

If you really hate the job you should just file a lawsuit.

1/11/2012 1:10:00 AM

^^No, because he knows our emails are not private...nor our phone conversations

he also knows our skype conversations are not private...but I do know for a fact that he will try to talk shit about me on skype mostly because he has accidently sent a message meant for someone else to me
The best part is that he doesn't realize that this person that he was trying to talk shit about me to can't stand him either.



I even had someone come up to me today to tell me about a mistake I made...while I've been there just over a year there are still mistakes to be made that I wouldn't know unless I was told...
This person told me and I was like "oh crap, thanks for telling me"
And he said to me "I told you in private because I knew that if I said it where *** could hear me I know he would give you a hard time and try to throw you under the bus"

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:13 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 1:11:11 AM

sawash can only record conversations between her and the guy; she cannot record conversations between him and others without getting someone's permission.

Let HR do their job.

1/11/2012 1:11:54 AM

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/HTML/BySection/Chapter_15A/GS_15A-287.html

Quote :

"§ 15A-287. Interception and disclosure of wire, oral, or electronic communications prohibited. (a) Except as otherwise specifically provided in this Article, a person is guilty of a Class H felony if, without the consent of at least one party to the communication, the person: (1) Willfully intercepts, endeavors to intercept, or procures any other person to intercept or endeavor to intercept, any wire, oral, or electronic communication."

1/11/2012 1:12:29 AM

^So is that saying that if I record a conversation that he has with someone else...with the permission of that someone else ...it's perfectly legal?

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:15 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 1:14:25 AM

Seems that way; however, why not just surreptitiously use whatever that dragon program is on your phone and record him berating you? That seems legal and would gain evidence.

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:16 AM. Reason : I dunno. ]

1/11/2012 1:15:13 AM

at least one person must consent.

you need to talk to HR.

1/11/2012 1:15:19 AM

.
[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:15 AM. Reason : ,]

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:15 AM. Reason : .]

1/11/2012 1:15:21 AM

just record him talking shit to you and take it to hr

1/11/2012 1:16:47 AM

Haha...you know what the worst thing about this is...it's gotten to the point where I know that the best way to handle this is to have as little interaction with him as possible...but the best way to get disciplinary actions against him is to document situations we have...so I have to sit around and wait for him to say something....but by doing everything in my power to avoid him I'm not going to have much interaction with him and therefore it will be much harder to get the stupid and mean and hateful and rude comments from him.

There was once when I was on the phone with a client that I talk to often...of which I have formed a relationship...He asked me a question and I said "Oh yeah, totally." During that same phone coversation he made a joke and I said "right on, that's hilarious"
He is sitting behind me trying to get my attention to tell me how unprofessional I am being at the moment...
I say to the client..."Hey ****** do you mind if I put you on hold for a second, I just need to check something out with the manufacture?" Luckly he asked me a question about something at the same moment.
So I put the phone on hold and turned around and said "you know ***...you have no power over me and if you think I am performing my job poorly you may speak to my supervisor about this...but until then please do not try to distract me from doing my job"

He shut up for like 3 days after that.

1/11/2012 1:22:43 AM

Don't just ignore him, treat him as if he were a normal competent coworker in that role.

Then document where he interferes with your job.

What you're describing is SO FAR from acceptable behavior though i'm surprised you even debate having him fired or not. Does something make you think that he has the capacity to be a decent person and he can change? Otherwise, he's hopeless and maybe should find a job where his type of idiocy is valued.

1/11/2012 1:27:57 AM

No, stop it! You're regressing and losing your backbone after only an hour.

This guy is making a toxic work environment for you and all of the other female employees, not to mention those who quit already. Sweep the leg

Seriously though, some guys just won't stop until they realize it can get them fired. I worked a co-op with a Jersey guido douchebag who sexually harrassed a female co-op (who wasn't even hot...I don't get it). She complained to her supervisors and was one step from going to HR before they got him to stop.

1/11/2012 1:27:58 AM

I can write down whatever I want. I can't exactly record and have played back whatever I want.

As far as it being illegal. It is not. North Carolina is a one party state, meaning that only one person needs to consent to the recording, not all parties involved in the conversation. This is important as you can only record conversations between you and him (if he abuses customers, you can't record it, as you are not a part of the conversation) without his consent. Some states require the consent of all parties. So if you're not in NC, check the law.

http://www.ncleg.net/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/HTML/BySection/Chapter_15A/GS_15A-287.html

Quote :

" Except as otherwise specifically provided in this Article, a person is guilty of a Class H felony if, without the consent of at least one party to the communication, the person: (1) Willfully intercepts, endeavors to intercept, or procures any other person to intercept or endeavor to intercept, any wire, oral, or electronic communication. (2) Willfully uses, endeavors to use, or procures any other person to use or endeavor to use any electronic, mechanical, or other device to intercept any oral communication when: a. The device is affixed to, or otherwise transmits a signal through, a wire, cable, or other like connection used in wire communications; or b. The device transmits communications by radio, or interferes with the transmission of such communications. (3) Willfully discloses, or endeavors to disclose, to any other person the contents of any wire, oral, or electronic communication, knowing or having reason to know that the information was obtained through violation of this Article; or (4) Willfully uses, or endeavors to use, the contents of any wire or oral communication, knowing or having reason to know that the information was obtained through the i"

With you recording the conversation, you obviously consent, which is enough to satisfy the requirement of the law that at least one person consents to the recording.

So record him, you're not doing anything illegal, and it's the most concrete evidence you can have. Anyone who can also corroborate your side of the story is a cherry on top, especially if your can get your supervisor to say that this issue has been brought up to him on multiple occasions.

I would record a few conversations with him. If you can record him calling you a "bitch," or putting down your intelligence (calling you a dumbass), most places would either reprimand him to the point that if he were to ever be disrespectful to another person, they would shitcan his ass, or they will shitcan him that day.

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:28 AM. Reason : Ah fuck it. This shit exploded. ]

1/11/2012 1:28:25 AM

Well luckly by working there he has consented to all his phone conversatins (professional and personal) to being recorded..so if my supervisor decides to monitor his phone calls when he is talking shit aobut me that might help...

Although if I decide to make formal complaints then he may be extra monitored while they are doing an investigation...



I also found out that he tried to start a rumor about me saying that I was pregnant and that I didn't care about my baby because all I did was drink and smoke...

I was like well shit if I'm pregnant then that's news to me

[Edited on January 11, 2012 at 1:37 AM. Reason : ]

1/11/2012 1:34:54 AM

Remember that he consented to the company monitoring his conversations, not you.

You can only record conversations he has with you.

1/11/2012 1:36:38 AM

I understand that...I guess if I just keep it to documenting what he says...and also mentioning who heard the things he said to me it will probably help

1/11/2012 1:39:36 AM

You've established that your supervisor isn't going to do jack shit. Stop wallowing in that option and make some progress

1/11/2012 1:42:23 AM

If you don't have enough already, HR will tell you what you need. You've done your job by talking to your supervisor (repeatedly).

1/11/2012 1:42:44 AM

Set 'em up

1/11/2012 1:45:18 AM