i hate them

1/15/2012 10:11:22 PM

what's with them putting adages in there now, instead of actual fortunes

1/15/2012 10:19:25 PM

^

1/15/2012 10:20:58 PM

one summer, my roommate and I ordered chinese

we had the exact same fortune in our cookies

1/15/2012 10:25:38 PM

i want to line up all the fortune cookies in the world on my kitchen table and punch them one by one

1/15/2012 10:27:03 PM

yo, for real....

one time, I opened a fortune cookie
and that motherfucker gave me a DIRECTIVE

1/15/2012 10:31:25 PM

Mine says there's going to be a relationship that blossoms this week.

1/15/2012 11:31:57 PM

1/15/2012 11:41:24 PM

I recall one time...

1/15/2012 11:44:41 PM

gross

1/16/2012 12:11:20 AM

The last one I got was pretty good...before that it had been at least 10 fortunes since a good one

1/16/2012 12:14:43 AM

omg just heard a great saying. not really a joke but it's funny. add "in bed" at the end of every fortune cookie! works well!

Instead of "Good things are in your future" you get "good things are in your future, in bed". works with anything!

1/27/2012 8:39:38 PM

Quote :

"yo, for real.... one time, I opened a fortune cookie and that motherfucker gave me a DIRECTIVE "

was it the PRIME DIRECTIVE?

1/27/2012 8:42:36 PM

Mine said "A good way to stay healthy is to eat more chinese food" Really?

1/27/2012 8:46:24 PM

^an even better way is to eat more chinese food in bed

1/27/2012 8:47:20 PM

Shits are gross, son.

1/27/2012 8:58:56 PM