Not sure if this should go in the chit-chat or not, I assumed lounge as am going for actual thought out responses.


Is it normal for a guy to ask a girl in a relationship if it is serious or not?

should it matter?

I do not differentiate from 3 months to 3 years, so why do people think it is okay to ask?

The only question I believe you should ask is, "How long have you been dating?"


This question can go for girls asking questions the same...just used this as an example.

any other questions that people ask that urk you, feel free to add..

[Edited on January 26, 2012 at 7:22 PM. Reason : ya]

1/26/2012 7:21:47 PM

Cue the Outside Sales meme

1/26/2012 7:34:47 PM

?

1/26/2012 7:44:17 PM

if someone is asking if a relationship is "serious" or not

to me that sounds like someone fishing for a hook up to me

1/26/2012 7:44:59 PM

not good, like, 1 out of 100?

1/26/2012 7:51:49 PM

Just pop the question. If she freaks out have a jamie kennedy in the other room


Seriously though a less extreme practical joke could be gold here

I'm Krallum and I approved this message

[Edited on January 26, 2012 at 8:40 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2012 8:39:13 PM

Short, real answer.... Depends on context.

Generally, poor form and

Quote :

"if someone is asking if a relationship is "serious" or not to me that sounds like someone fishing for a hook up to me"

1/26/2012 8:47:35 PM

I don't think it's abnormal if the guy is just asking a friend about her new dude. If one of my friends started spending a lot of time around someone, I'd probably ask. It seems like an innocent enough question if there's no baggage/subtext to their relationship.

I don't think the "Is it serious?" question is one of length. It's a question of "Do you see yourself pursuing this? Are you interested in something more than casual with him?"

1/26/2012 10:48:22 PM

well I guess if you say it that way...

context is probably key here.

1/26/2012 10:50:20 PM

Totally depends on context.

If it was a relatively new guy and my friends were asking, that's okay.
If it's an ex-boyfriend asking, never okay because it's none of their beeswax.
If it's some random dude in a bar, he's obviously just looking for a booty call.
If it's a complete stranger, why the hell am I talking to them about my relationships in the first place?

1/26/2012 10:51:59 PM

Definitely. You mentioned that you believe you should only ask, "How long have you been dating?" Is that because of the sleazy implications?

I'm more annoyed by, "Is she hot?" and "Is she white or black?"

1) Who would answer no to the first? "Well, not really, but she's as good as I can hope for"
2) Why would you be with someone you weren't physically attracted to?
3) Those aren't the only options
4) It's probably not all that important, and it doesn't tell you anything about why I like her, her personality, etc..

1/26/2012 10:54:24 PM

Is it normal for a guy to ask a girl in a relationship if it is serious or not?
- - At the point YOU want it to be serious? ... it's fairly romantic when women are 'asked'... if the 'or not part' were attached, well..... meh.....

should it matter?
... It does to most girls (we presume very little)

I do not differentiate from 3 months to 3 years, so why do people think it is okay to ask?
.... b/c chicks do.... and clearly - you aren't serious

The only question I believe you should ask is, "How long have you been dating?"
.... OK, fair....

other questions that people ask that urk you, feel free to add..
..... Where do you see this in 5 years?
......What are you REALLY looking for in a partner?
.....OMG are you engaged? (oh.... wrong hand...)
.....When are you going to settle down
..... So, is he THE ONE?
..... What's your PLAN (uhh... dude.... chill...)

I just find it entertaining when others feel an immediacy for progression that doesn't need to exist.

[Edited on January 26, 2012 at 11:02 PM. Reason : ]

1/26/2012 11:00:45 PM

^ For those that "urk" me along similar lines:

How come you're not married yet/have you talked about marriage?
(when am I supposed to coordinate that in nursing school, I can't even find my coffee thermos this morning)
When are you going to have kids? (when they get cheaper)
Why would you bike if you have a car? (Why would you drive if you could walk or bike? This is why you're fat).
Why do you (insert other unusual hobby that takes effort) if you can buy it (insert grocery story, online, etc)?
(You totally missed the point).

1/27/2012 8:23:29 AM

I once ran into a friend I hadn't seen in three years and the first damn thing I said to her was, "Are you married yet!?!?" I was just too drunk to hold in the verbal diarrhea.

I only asked her because I was genuinely hoping she had found someone.

/cool story bro

1/27/2012 9:11:01 AM

im at the point now when people ask me when we're getting married that we're just waiting it out for all our friends to be on marriage #2

implying that we're trying to avoid being a starter marriage

when work people ask i just say we're trying to have a baby first (ultra conservative company that might actually shit its pants if an employee had a baby out of wedlock. yeah i'm sure it's happened but it would be a scandal)

1/27/2012 11:14:33 AM

^That's awesome.

I've been with my girlfriend for three years now; the family's favorite question these days -- whispered conspiratorially -- is, "So have you proposed yet?"

1/27/2012 11:23:23 AM

when coworkers grab my left hand to "check for something new" i tell them we're having money problems, do they want to throw some cash our way so we can go ahead and get married?

lol of course all the shit i say is a joke but if they are going to be up in my shit then i will invite them to take some of my own shit.

i have to say, my mom, step dad & grand parents (on my dads side) are the ONLY people in the world who do not ask me about it. i love them for it. they ask about him & everyone has met etc but there is NO pressure. in fact i had to tell my dad to back off when he tried asking for a grand baby. i told him my mom & his parents haven't even breathed a word of pressure to me and i was surprised it was coming from him!! haha

1/27/2012 11:34:26 AM

depends on the person, but i wouldn't ask, "where is this going". i would define where i would like the relationship to go, and when im ready say, "baby lets take it there". obviously that next level varies depending on timeline, age of invloved persons, etc. the next level could be meeting parents, moving in, etc. depends on the persons.

1/27/2012 2:07:18 PM