I have a specific question but why not make this a general discussion thread


Anyway - my cousin is getting married and they are registered at Home Depot, but I can't find how to access their list anywhere online. I hear married couples love lots of gift cards but I grew up with this dude and would like to get them something specific. So, how do I find this registry and/or are gift cards okay?

4/10/2012 10:23:23 PM

i would've liked some home depot and/or lowe's gift cards when i got married, but we were moving to a new house (me from an apartment and her from her parents') so we needed a lot of shit from places like that.

for the registry, i'd just go in a home depot and ask somebody at customer service.

4/10/2012 10:28:15 PM

i didn't even know registering at home depot was an option. my quick googling makes me think you have to go in the store to access it though. and i think gift cards are completely acceptable, but i'm also not well versed in wedding etiquette. or etiquette in general. not related - but sort of - is it acceptable to have a registry but not have a real wedding?

[Edited on April 10, 2012 at 10:32 PM. Reason : ]

4/10/2012 10:32:38 PM

Quote :

"is it acceptable to have a registry but not have a real wedding?"

Is there a party? Or just sending announcements/asking for gifts?

The first I think is passable as acceptable. The second is a definite no.

To answer OP:
Home Depot I believe you have to go in person. However, gift cards are certainly acceptable. Apparently there have been some issues with HD registries, where you cannot remove items once you choose them, and they are not good about accepting returns for store credit.

[Edited on April 10, 2012 at 10:47 PM. Reason : ]

4/10/2012 10:41:25 PM

interesting, thanks for the info...i'll check with customer service at least before picking up a GC. Maybe I'll just pick up a HD gift card and pick out something more sentimental from somewhere else in addition.

Yes there is a dinner/wedding/reception and I will be in attendance.

4/10/2012 10:45:49 PM

Quote :

"Is there a party?"

mos def

[Edited on April 10, 2012 at 10:55 PM. Reason : sorry to ask my own questions in your thread, paerabol]

4/10/2012 10:55:10 PM

I think in that situation Meg, it would really depend on the circumstances. Did the couple get married ahead of time (like a destination wedding)? If the reception is to celebrate a wedding type event, then registries are acceptable, and gifts are expected. But if it's just a plain party, not celebrating a marriage, why would they register? I hope that makes sense.

4/10/2012 11:04:42 PM

it would be a party/reception to celebrate a marriage, but not an actual ceremony

[Edited on April 10, 2012 at 11:07 PM. Reason : ]

4/10/2012 11:06:31 PM

Great! No etiquette issues there at all.

4/10/2012 11:07:03 PM

Just buy a monster fucking chainsaw and some roman candles, everybody wins.

4/11/2012 1:13:32 AM

Quote :

"is it acceptable to have a registry but not have a real wedding?"

we're doing the opposite

no registry and about 10 people at the wedding

if people are feeling generous they can send us whatever they like (from what I've seen so far, gift cards or cash)

but we're not going to make a list of stuff other people are supposed to buy us

anyway, gift cards to a store they're registered at should be fine

4/11/2012 8:33:27 AM

It's funny, we had a registry but I don't think we received a single thing off of it. Everyone gave us cash or gift certificates. It was a pleasant surprise.

4/11/2012 8:42:38 AM

People love cash, especially if you are the couples age. Let the older folks buy the mixers/breadmakers/etc. I have found, especially with friends who are saving for a house, saving for a honeymoon, or have spent a decent amount of their own money on the wedding, cash is very helpful.

4/11/2012 8:43:13 AM

I tend to give gift cards to the places they are registered at

4/12/2012 3:40:59 AM

Can i register at Game Stop or the ABC store?

4/12/2012 8:04:01 AM

Not so much the ABC store, but my cousin threw us a "Stock the Bar" couples shower. Everyone bought us liquors and wines. Best shower by far.

4/12/2012 9:09:51 AM

^Yeah, I think that's the best way to go about the liquor. You can register at Game Stop, but some people might look at you weird. My brother in law did though.

4/12/2012 9:24:29 AM

you can use amazon (or several other websites) to make universal registries & add anything from anywhere else. iirc, amazon doesn't let you add things manually (as in things that are in a store & not online) but we used http://www.universalweddingregistry.com/ for our wedding to add random in-store only things. we're using amazon for our baby reigstry right now. i like it bc you have ONE website where people can see everything you're registered for.

4/12/2012 9:29:31 AM

^ Game stop, not so much. BUT, we registered for a lot of stuff at Target that we didn't end up needing. After returning it all, we had $500+ on a gift card so we got a PS3 and several games and BluRays. Given that he couldn't have cared less about wine glasses, the husband was thrilled with the trade off.

You could do the same with Walmart if you're wanting games (plus, they'd probably just give you cash back rather than gift cards).

4/12/2012 9:31:37 AM

fyi, target's registries are pretty garbage with their updating, and shipping.

so far, we've received 6 roasting pans, when registered for one, since the system doesn't seem to update right.

and with shipping, idk if they have regional warehouses or something, but they tend to ship items individually...

so yesterday i got a 14"x8"x6" box, filled with packing material, for one wooden spoon.

which, was part of an order that had four other boxes, for four items.

seems like there's an improvement opportunity there i should create a consulting firm for and go to town on.

idk i think it's kinda shitty to register for a bunch of stuff you don't want or will use to upgrade what you already have and know going in you're going to return it for cash.

[Edited on April 12, 2012 at 10:41 AM. Reason : e]

4/12/2012 10:36:45 AM

Quote :

"idk i think it's kinda shitty to register for a bunch of stuff you don't want or will use to upgrade what you already have and know going in you're going to return it for cash. "

i agree with this

4/12/2012 10:42:06 AM

I would agree, except that I have a lot of relatives that are super religious and generally cheap/a pain in the ass. I could see why a couple would register for "normal" things and then exchange for what they really want.

None of my relatives would be nice enough to buy us a good knife set, but if I could exchange all the cheap shit they bought and get something nice I'd do it. Part of why I skipped having a wedding.

4/12/2012 10:47:06 AM

^ This

And, once we unwrapped and organized all the gifts we got, we didn't have room for the dozens of wine glasses that we received. We got 4x the number we registered for. Plus, we got doubles of some stuff because people bought the same item but from a different store. We didn't intentionally register for stuff we didn't need; it just happened that once we moved into our new house, our priorities on what we needed had changed (as well as our storage space).

4/12/2012 12:26:51 PM

We also had a few people who got things that coordinated, but were off the registry, or more than what we registered for, because they'd figure we'd want 16 towels in the same color instead of the four we asked for... They just didn't understand that we asked for exactly what we wanted at the time, and didn't need the matching bath rug.

4/12/2012 12:48:44 PM

I liked the vietnamese wedding I went to last summer, everyone was expected to bring cash and they had this gorgeous small glass house for us to put in our congrats card/cash.

4/12/2012 12:53:35 PM

Get something nice for them in general, and give them a gift card also. Make sure you sign the actual gift card, not just the cardboard. It'll be a perfect gift, for rillz.

4/12/2012 1:05:04 PM

I have friends that didn't register for a single towel and ended up with a whole closet full of them.

4/12/2012 2:08:11 PM

anyone ever get any flak for telling people where you're registered? Not because of the place, but because you have a registration at all?

On another forum that I frequent there was a thread a couple of days ago and a guy who was getting married was asking if it was taboo to just ask for cash instead of gifts or if they should go ahead and register somewhere. Well that quickly derailed and a bunch of people on there started saying that it's rude to register for gifts because that shows that you're expecting them and you shouldn't expect them yada yada. Some even went so far to say that if they were told where the couple were registered, they wouldn't even go to the wedding because of that (unless it was for someone real close to them like a sibling, child, etc).

Now that forum has an older membership with an average user age of 45-50ish I would say so I was wondering if it was an older vs younger generation thing or what. Since every wedding I've been invited to has told us where they are registered, it's always been part of the deal for me

4/12/2012 2:22:05 PM

Some people think it's rude to do anything. I ignore such people.

What I think is tacky is putting where you're registered on the invite. I have actually seen that before. If you want to advertise it somewhere stick it on the wedding website.

[Edited on April 12, 2012 at 2:25 PM. Reason : a]

4/12/2012 2:25:05 PM

Not tacky to say you're registered.

Yes tacky to put it in the invitation.

Definitely can put it on a wedding website or spread word of mouth.

DEFINITELY not tacky to have a registry period. Some people get pissed if there's NOT one.

4/12/2012 2:32:39 PM

Not having a registry is asking for the out of touch relatives to buy you stuff you don't want and can't return.

4/12/2012 2:38:45 PM

I guess

but I've always felt that registries are fundamentally rude for that reason, hence why we're not doing one

if some family member wants to send me a gift (regardless of what it is), fine by me: that's nice of them to want to celebrate this day of my life

but I'm not going to ask for a bunch of stuff

4/13/2012 7:44:38 AM