I dated a teacher for about a year. She was submissive as hell in bed. It drove me absolutely wild.

She loved fettucine alfredo. I mean absolutely loved the stuff. She would eat it for breakfast and save the leftovers for lunch every day. We'd go to a local Italian restaurant and she'd order the fucking fettucine alfredo every time. I never questioned it because she was fucking gorgeous and I was lucky to be dating her.

Eventually, we moved in together. She would do the grocery shopping and would come home with 10 boxes of fettucine. Her obsession became worse and worse. I began asking her about it and she'd avoid the topic. We'd have arguments about it. Me screaming about it not being healthy to eat that all the time, her saying something muffled because my dick was in her mouth.

So one day, I came home early from work. I heard her in the bathroom, so I walked back there and opened the door to surprise her. She shrieks, jumps out of the bathtub, grabs a towel. "It's just me," I say. She looks mortified.

... and then I see the pasta sliding down her leg. At first, just a little, but then large chunks of thick fettucine. It starts making splashing sounds and I'm horrified that her vagina can hold such a large amount of pasta.

I should have been mad or at least disgusted. But I wasn't. I was more attracted to her at that point than I ever had been. I run toward her, rip the towel off, and immediately stick my fist into her pasta-laden cunt. I couldn't tell if she was wet or the pasta was just beyond al-dente. It didn't fucking matter.

We fucked like rabbits. Every time I pulled out, more pasta. It was absolutely amazing.

Exhausted, I look over at her. No fettucine for dinner tonight. I felt like chicken. Like Chicken Tonight. Chicken Tonight.

6/11/2012 4:38:49 PM

i like fettucini

6/11/2012 4:40:32 PM

10/10

6/11/2012 4:41:28 PM

I, too, have seen 4chan.

6/11/2012 4:41:28 PM

nah, I've never been to 4chan

6/11/2012 4:44:04 PM

oh, well sometimes it springs leaks.

6/11/2012 4:45:12 PM

ya, I'm sure its made some rounds

6/11/2012 4:47:29 PM

nanz

6/11/2012 5:31:21 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

6/11/2012 5:36:16 PM

Quote :

"I felt like chicken. Like Chicken Tonight. Chicken Tonight."

10/10

6/11/2012 8:24:04 PM

dr

6/11/2012 8:50:30 PM

i opened the door.
got on the floor.
everybody walk the dinosaur.

6/11/2012 9:11:49 PM

i expected some "yo holmes to bel air" style shit towards the end there

6/11/2012 9:25:35 PM

I used to be a peeping tom. I only felt guilty one time and that was because the woman in the house saw me sitting outside her window and started screaming. I should have just run away like usual, but I felt like I was close to finishing so I kept going. Turned out it took me like 5 more minutes and I really felt bad about how scared she was. After that, I stopped wearing a clown mask and just went with a ski mask. Seems like people are really frightened of clowns. Scaring her was never my intention

true story

6/12/2012 5:55:07 PM

Where is the spaghetti?

6/12/2012 6:07:21 PM

<--- doesn't get it

6/12/2012 6:10:49 PM

6/12/2012 6:18:58 PM