so no one hears your

6/19/2012 6:40:10 AM

I just shit in the shower

6/19/2012 6:47:35 AM

No, I'm not a stupid girl who thinks people don't know she shits.

6/19/2012 7:36:16 AM

i call people into the restroom with me to behold my ass-might

6/19/2012 7:44:08 AM

No. In fact, I have an elaborate system of microphones and audio amplifiers installed in my bathroom so that I may proudly share the sounds of my body functions with everyone within 500' over an extensive speaker system.

6/19/2012 8:11:46 AM

i flush constantly while shitting. i installed a foot pedal so i don't have to reach behind myself every five seconds.

6/19/2012 11:53:57 AM

I have timed my bowel movements so that I only shit right before I get in the shower. I will turn the shower on before I start because it helps me shit faster. I don't know why. Plus, the steam amplifies my brand so I get an extra strong stench working up.

6/19/2012 11:57:32 AM

I stomp my feet upon release. Feels good man.

6/19/2012 11:59:37 AM

also i have piped in crowd noise, so that when i finish i get a rousing round of applause + singing of we are the champions

6/19/2012 12:01:31 PM