So, my gf and I broke up last week after 3.5 years. We've been long distance pretty much the entire time, but we talk every day on the phone. She's got three more years of grad school left in Texas (I'm in NC), and then we were gonna move to the same city and do our thing. But, she said she's afraid we aren't going to work out, but with no other explanations or reasons.

She says she still loves me, but just doesn't want to spend more time when she doesn't think we'll work out, even though she admits that we get along perfectly when we are together. We haven't seen each other since January because I got let go at work and couldn't afford the travel. She had a couple other things that prevented her from coming over my way, too. I don't think she's with anyone else, but who knows. I just don't think she'd do that without telling me that was the reason.

Needless to say, I'm pretty tore up over it. I've bought a plane ticket and am gonna go over there this week and just see what the fuck is up. Several friends have said that's what I should do, while my folks have said to just move on. How stupid of an idea is this.


ibt chitchat ass-hattery

6/30/2012 10:14:06 PM

so you're interested in meeting your replacement?

seems risky

6/30/2012 10:16:43 PM

Yea I've been in this situation and a reverse situation. Move on. Good chance you just get hurt worse.

Wanna come over and hang out? Im just watchin tv and am bored if you want someone to hang with.

6/30/2012 10:17:03 PM

Your friends have suggested you waste money over this chick who is obviously fucking someone else?

[Edited on June 30, 2012 at 10:18 PM. Reason : ]

6/30/2012 10:18:21 PM

I think it's a good idea. Either it's meant to be or it's not, either way you're giving it a chance and that's a good thing. It's better to fight for it and see what's going on instead of just doing nothing.

I think she's just missing you and is confused. Good luck!



[Edited on June 30, 2012 at 10:20 PM. Reason : -]

6/30/2012 10:18:42 PM

that kind of stuff works in the movies but ....... it seems a bit extreme

you're better off returning the ticket and spending that money towards something that makes you feel better. whatever that may be.

she's totally fucking someone else

6/30/2012 10:21:12 PM

flight is better than trying to drive to Texas

did you see Road Trip?

6/30/2012 10:21:41 PM

^^ that

[Edited on June 30, 2012 at 10:21 PM. Reason : ]

6/30/2012 10:21:45 PM

Stopped reading at LDR the "entire time". Both of you were too weak to call it off. Time to move on brah.

6/30/2012 10:23:58 PM

Why do you live in NC when you're unemployed and your long term girlfriend is in Texas?


/nosy

6/30/2012 10:25:05 PM

Quote :

"I got let go at work and couldn't afford the travel."

I don't know what your situation is exactly, but this sounds like bullshit. How much is a bus ticket to Texas?

6/30/2012 10:25:16 PM

Don't do it. When a girl leaves you without reason shes fucking someone else. Save your money.

6/30/2012 10:25:33 PM

time to move on guy

6/30/2012 10:25:54 PM

sorry, dude...I hope it works out

I don't blame you for flying down there...it's gotta be unsatisfying to end a 3.5 year relationship over the phone, and have no prospect of ever seeing the person again

honestly, my worthless and inexperienced opinion is that a relationship requires two willing parties, and if she's no longer willing it, that's that. also, sometimes you just gotta cut your losses. and even if you really love this person, that doesn't mean that it's "meant to be," or that she's the only person you can ever love.

good luck, dawg

6/30/2012 10:26:39 PM

^^^^ situation was that I got laid off last year and went through most of my savings. got let go this year and didn't really have any reserves built back up.

[Edited on June 30, 2012 at 10:27 PM. Reason : ]

6/30/2012 10:26:55 PM

GET SOME CLOSURE.

Just put your feelings in your pocket. Don't rage murder the dude that fucking her. He don't know about you.

6/30/2012 10:29:27 PM

^ LMAO

6/30/2012 10:29:46 PM

The people telling you that you shouldn't go because you might get hurt are pussies. If something is going on, you need closure. If she's having doubts because she hasn't seen you in a while, this could save your relationship.

If you don't go, you've pretty much lost her. If you do go, who knows? The only thing you have to lose is money. If it ends without closure, then you'll spend the rest of your life wondering about what could have been, and it may result in self-doubt and a loss of confidence.

Either way, be prepared to be hurt.

6/30/2012 10:31:16 PM

Quote :

"jaZon (10:30) : actually, i changed my mind - go see her for the closure...and so that she'll feel a million times worse when you can look her in the face when she spills that she's fucking someone else"

6/30/2012 10:32:10 PM

Yeah, I hate the break-up over the phone. I always thought that was the coward's way of doing things. To put your mind at ease, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to go there. LDR's suck ass and I never want to be in one again but I do know, if the person is worth it and they are in it too then it will all work out. That said, I was never in a LDR longer than a year and half. Three years would probably kill me emotionally.

I hate that you have to spend money that you don't have for closure but if that is what it takes to move on DO IT!

6/30/2012 10:34:16 PM

Yep, I'd assume she's not spilling all the beans, and has found someone else. She needed a penis ride, and she found a willing one.

6/30/2012 10:34:52 PM

So, by willing one, you mean any penis.

6/30/2012 10:35:32 PM

Any that isn't across the country, and too broke to travel.

6/30/2012 10:36:55 PM

Ok here is my story. I dated a girl on and off for about 2 years. This was also a long distance relationship for about half of it. We broke up when she moved away but got back together after a while because I committed to moving to where she was. Anyway, about 3 months before I was going to move to her town, she cheated on me. We stayed together but then afterwords she was having doubts about wanting to stay in our relationship. I told her to just wait until I moved near her before she decided that, because it would be much easier once we were together again. So about 2 months before I was going to move, I went go visit her. Everything was awesome and great. She kept reaffirming her love for me and such, telling me about how I was the only one for her, wanted to marry me, etc etc. Well about two weeks after I left she decided she didnt want a relationship anymore. Stopped talking to me completely. Wouldnt return any calls or texts. So I said fuck it, moved somewhere else, and we havent spoken since.

Fortunately for me, I was able to get over it pretty easily because I found some other skank right away that was into me. We ended up being in a relationship because she introduced me to her friends and family as her boyfriend (lol). Anyway, I moved away still and then she broke up with me a few months later for the same reasons you listed above. Said I was perfect, there was no one else, but always thinking about how far I was made it too difficult. I understood, but I also wasnt very invested so I didnt really care.

Take from these stories what you will. But in my experience, moving on is the best.

6/30/2012 10:39:50 PM

Quote :

"that kind of stuff works in the movies"

not in Road Trip it doesn't

6/30/2012 10:52:02 PM

I say go.

6/30/2012 10:53:21 PM

Don't tell her you're coming. Call her when you're at her place.

6/30/2012 10:53:34 PM

Quote :

"sorry, dude...I hope it works out I don't blame you for flying down there...it's gotta be unsatisfying to end a 3.5 year relationship over the phone, and have no prospect of ever seeing the person again honestly, my worthless and inexperienced opinion is that a relationship requires two willing parties, and if she's no longer willing it, that's that. also, sometimes you just gotta cut your losses. and even if you really love this person, that doesn't mean that it's "meant to be," or that she's the only person you can ever love. good luck, dawg"

I couldn't have put it better. Do what you need to do to get over her and move on.

6/30/2012 10:54:15 PM

so you two are still long distance....and it'll be 3 more years until she graduates before any chance of yall two living in the same city again

so why not save your ticket for 3 years later when it won't be long distance.....in the meantime enjoy your life and date other local girls (and who knows your ex may start cherishing you more)

6/30/2012 11:12:49 PM

I don't think it's fair to assume that she is definitely fucking somebody else.

But she absolutely has her next couple of candidates in mind.

6/30/2012 11:17:20 PM

It's fair.

And balanced.

6/30/2012 11:18:47 PM

Why would you think this is a stupid thing to do? If you've been with someone for several years, damn right your relationship is worth a plane ticket and a couple days off. Even if you just stay dumped, at least you'll have some closure.

6/30/2012 11:27:31 PM

does she know you're coming or is it a surprise?

6/30/2012 11:32:31 PM

Bunch of dumb fuckers that think this is a good idea.

6/30/2012 11:38:33 PM

dont go, horrible idea, especially if you are surprising her. If you REALLY want to try something say "will it help if I come out there and talk" or something, but I would just move on

6/30/2012 11:39:08 PM

Quote :

"Why would you think this is a stupid thing to do? If you've been with someone for several years, damn right your relationship is worth a plane ticket and a couple days off. Even if you just stay dumped, at least you'll have some closure."

Quote :

"Either way, be prepared to be hurt."

6/30/2012 11:47:20 PM

How has no one suggested you show up at her door and throw a penalty flag in her face?

6/30/2012 11:49:14 PM

^ HAHAHAHAHAHA

6/30/2012 11:49:47 PM

Don't tell her youre coming, but do a stakeout at her house. Post live updates via TWW and let us decide your next move in real time.

6/30/2012 11:50:32 PM

^^
You know the history behind that?

6/30/2012 11:50:53 PM

yea... why wouldnt I?

6/30/2012 11:51:27 PM

Not good for your look mane.

Return that ticket and get a fucking hooker...start here:

http://www.eros-carolina.com/sections/carolina_escorts.htm

that mug will give you far better return on your investment yadig?

6/30/2012 11:53:11 PM

been there

it's over man. undoubtedly, she's had these feelings for a while. she just finally got the courage to tell you.

you aren't going to change her mind. move on.

6/30/2012 11:55:44 PM

Quote :

"Yea I've been in this situation and a reverse situation. Move on. Good chance you just get hurt worse. "

6/30/2012 11:56:10 PM

Figure you're too consumed with your Vols during fb season.

6/30/2012 11:56:33 PM

I have plenty of love to spread around to my other favorite team

6/30/2012 11:58:28 PM

Quote :

"How has no one suggested you show up at her door and throw a penalty flag in her face?"

aha, that was a good laugh. She was givin him the business!

7/1/2012 12:06:53 AM

^^^^^what up mane.

[Edited on July 1, 2012 at 12:07 AM. Reason : yup]

7/1/2012 12:06:59 AM

^^ ha ha ha

7/1/2012 12:08:46 AM

Move on.
Chicks love it when you move on.

7/1/2012 12:09:09 AM