This is mostly for those unmarried or if you're married what was it like before the wedding?
How often do you see your significant other?
If you live together unmarried, how's it working out?


I see my boyfriend (of 11 months) only on the weekends really. It's a Saturday-Sunday relationship.

I like it the way it is right now, since we're coming up on one year I think it might change. I miss him during the week a little but it's nice to have my freedom to do what I want after work while I can, not have to cook and clean after him yet etc he does his thing and I do mine.

8/24/2012 10:43:42 AM

depends on if they have the blinds closed or not

8/24/2012 10:44:27 AM

Josh and I saw one another on a daily basis even before we moved in together. Probably why we moved in together.

8/24/2012 10:47:16 AM

Everyday.

8/24/2012 10:47:35 AM

BIGMAN, GET BACK UNDER THE PORCH!

8/24/2012 10:48:16 AM

shit.

8/24/2012 10:48:36 AM

It was every day when we lived together. Now it's every couple months. But soon to be every day again

8/24/2012 10:50:14 AM

At the beginning of our relationship, we saw each other mostly on weekends, and maybe a weeknight or two thrown in. (He lived on campus, I lived in an apartment). After a year or two, when he moved into an apartment nearby, we saw each other more often, probably every other weekday and most weekends. It was easier to cook dinners together than trying to fix a meal for just one.

Then, we got engaged, moved in together, and it worked out fine, obviously, since we married.

8/24/2012 10:50:14 AM

everyday. and now i feel like i just have a roommate who shares a bed with me

8/24/2012 10:50:14 AM

My husband and I lived together for about 2 years before we got married. It worked out great. I'd go to class, he'd go to work and we'd see each other at night.

Its pretty much the same now. We see each in the morning before we leave for work. I hardly ever get to see him on Friday nights or all day on Saturday (catering business means no weekends free usually). Pretty much the only full day that we get together is Sundays.

This weekend is an exception. He has no events this weekend so we get all weekend together.

8/24/2012 10:50:18 AM

Not enough. Like 2 or three times a week

8/24/2012 10:50:33 AM

We've been seeing each other for over 2 years now. Got engaged about two months ago and she moved in at the beginning of this month.

I'd say for the first couple months we'd go a day or two without seeing each other...but after that it was a daily basis unless someone was out of town. We might not see each other during the day (work, guys night, girls night, etc.), but we always spent the night with each other.

8/24/2012 11:00:45 AM

We live together now, getting married in november. At first we saw each other one night a week, then we'd spend the weekends together, slowly added in more nights. Moved my cat in first. she was being left alone too long. Once I got my new job I moved in. It moved along nicely in my opinion.

8/24/2012 11:01:42 AM

I think we saw each other about every day from the beginning of our relationship. We live together now, but I usually have homework till 10 at night, so not a lot of quality time.

8/24/2012 11:07:27 AM

right now, weekends only

after I move, every day

8/24/2012 11:56:08 AM

my husband and i moved in together after dating 6 months. before that, we were together every day. so yeah, minus one of us gone on some sort of trip without the other, we've been together nonstop for 3 years now

8/24/2012 12:00:34 PM

started out once every 3-4 weeks since she lived 7 hours away

now it's once or twice a week

8/24/2012 12:35:27 PM

being with someone just on the weekends is hardly a relationship. (unless it's a temporary long distance thing of course)

8/24/2012 12:38:54 PM

8/24/2012 12:40:27 PM

But being together allthedamntime like so many couples are isn't very healthy either.

8/24/2012 12:40:35 PM

you mean your other piece that youre banging a significant portion of the time?

8/24/2012 12:41:21 PM

Quote :

"But being together allthedamntime like so many couples are isn't very healthy either."

Prove it

8/24/2012 12:42:14 PM

Quote :

"being with someone just on the weekends is hardly a relationship. (unless it's a temporary long distance thing of course) "

I don't think this is true at all. Just because you don't see someone during the week doesn't mean you don't have any contact with them. Sometimes work and school schedules just don't mesh on weekdays. That's how it used to be for us. We'd still talk/email, etc.

8/24/2012 12:45:52 PM

Quote :

"But being together allthedamntime like so many couples are isn't very healthy either."

I don't recommend working with a SO and then spending all your free time together...but I think you should want to spend most of your free time with your SO.

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 12:47 PM. Reason : .]

8/24/2012 12:46:46 PM

^^ Have you seen the statistics on divorce for the first 2 years of marriage?

8/24/2012 12:47:24 PM

[Personal opinion] If you actually spend all your non-working waking time together, you're probably going to be missing out on some of the interests you don't share, your own friends, and (the biggest part) becoming too dependent on being together as a requirement for happiness.

With all the couples I know that spend all their time together, if one of them goes out of town or something, the other one is just sitting at home being sad. It works for a lot of people, but in my opinion it's healthier for both people to maintain some degree of independence.

I've always been a pretty big believer in the "you have to be happy by yourself before you can be happy in a relationship" cliche, and I don't think that stops once you find a SO. If you spend all your time with them, you're going to forget how to ever be without them, for a day or a week or whatever.

I have the healthiest, most supportive and loving relationship I've ever been in, and I've seen him once in the last 4 months. I know that's a very rare thing and I get most people wouldn't be willing to do it, but I think it's made me a better person. And if you don't think it's a "real" relationship ... I don't really know what to say to that except you're entitled to think that, but you're wrong.

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 12:57 PM. Reason : .]

8/24/2012 12:56:03 PM

i agree with skwinkle big time

8/24/2012 12:57:08 PM

We saw each other every day (or at least 3x a week) when we were dating in college (about 9 months)

then we spent a good 6 months mostly just seeing each other on weekends (I was looking for a job and living in Chapel Hill while he was still in Raleigh)

and after that we moved in together

lived together for three years before we got hitched this year

I think the only-on-weekends thing was hard, but it was definitely still a relationship

I'm a big supporter of your living together before marriage, though: you know so much more about the person after doing so

and we're not the type to be together all the time: if one of us is going to an event (concert, girls or guys outing, whatever) alone, it's no biggie

we each have our own interests and alone time, and it's important to develop that space when you do live together, else I'd bet you'd both go a bit crazy

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 1:11 PM. Reason : I agree with Skwinkle too]

8/24/2012 1:05:57 PM

Quote :

"If you actually spend all your non-working waking time together, you're probably going to be missing out on some of the interests you don't share, your own friends, and (the biggest part) becoming too dependent on being together as a requirement for happiness. "

I enjoy doing pretty much everything with my SO. And things I wouldn't enjoy in the past, I actually like now when she's in my company. I like her friends and she likes my friends...so when I hang out with my friends, she often comes along and vice versa.

Different strokes for different folks...but I feel like you're generalizing. I'm also sorry that you don't get to see your SO as much. Do you think you'd be happier if you did?

8/24/2012 1:06:07 PM

^ Like I said, that works for you, but it's not what I want, and not what I believe is healthy in terms of personal development. I don't want to get to where I'm mopey if he's not in the same room, or if he's on a business trip, or whatever. I like his friends too, but I don't want my SO to feel like he has to invite me every time he goes out with them. And we enjoy most things together too, but I don't feel the need to drag him along when I go shoe shopping, because I'm sure he's got his own things that he'd probably prefer to do.

Would I be happier? That's a little hard to answer. Yes and no. Clearly I wish I could see him more now, and I'm looking forward to moving in with him again, but I'm not at all unhappy. Living apart for a year and a half has confirmed to me that we're right for each other because even through it's been hard, we've grown stronger and it's made me very confident that we aren't just together to avoid being alone, or for the sex, etc.

I don't think there's anything wrong, exactly, with couples spending all their time together. I just believe you both get stronger as individuals if you don't. And I think that's a good thing.

8/24/2012 1:16:40 PM

Quote :

"I enjoy doing pretty much everything with my SO. And things I wouldn't enjoy in the past, I actually like now when she's in my company. I like her friends and she likes my friends...so when I hang out with my friends, she often comes along and vice versa. Different strokes for different folks...but I feel like you're generalizing. I'm also sorry that you don't get to see your SO as much. Do you think you'd be happier if you did? "

so youre that guy

8/24/2012 1:19:33 PM

everyday. before we lived together or got married, we would still see each other for at least an hour out of the day, if not more, if we had different plans. there were/are exceptions of course: there was a time he had to travel some for work or if we were/are on trips without the other.

even once we lived together, i would say we had a balanced time of things we did together versus apart. it still exists now but i would say going out just the two of us is a more rare occurrence that one of us going out while the other is home with the kid. though for the most part the three of us are together.

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 1:27 PM. Reason : ]

8/24/2012 1:22:43 PM

Quote :

"so when I hang out with my friends, she often comes along and vice versa"

My husband has his friends and I have my friends. I have outings with my friends and he has outings with his. Next week is our co-ed baby shower and I think it'll be the first time that my group of friends and his group of friends is together since our wedding four years ago.

I think I'd go nuts if we did everything together. It's nice to be able to have dinner with my girlfriends and gossip. And I'm sure he likes doing whatever men do at dinner with his friends

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 1:28 PM. Reason : f]

8/24/2012 1:27:02 PM

Skwinkle has said everything I've wanted to say.


I'll make sure though to spend more time with my boyfriend, now that I know what a real relationship is (thanks Smath!!)


haha because of this thread I called him up, (f*cker was at Maggiano's, he hates italian, I'm so jealous) and now we have plans to go out tonight on a date I never see him on friday nights because I need to stay at my place because I wake up early to meet my training group on Saturday mornings

8/24/2012 1:36:26 PM

Quote :

"Like I said, that works for you, but it's not what I want, and not what I believe is healthy in terms of personal development. I don't want to get to where I'm mopey if he's not in the same room,"

Just because I'd like to be with my SO all the time doesn't mean I'm sad when I'm not with them. I think you're confusing the two (although I'm sure there are people that are like that).

8/24/2012 1:38:22 PM

If you aren't sad when you're apart, that's awesome, and a sign that your relationship style works for you. However I can't think of anyone I've ever known who does the togetherallthetime thing and then is perfectly happy if they suddenly aren't together, whatever the reason may be.

Maybe I just have weak-minded friends

8/24/2012 1:41:10 PM

^do you find them easily manipulated by a jedi knight?

8/24/2012 1:43:16 PM

We were together for several years before getting married, so there wasn't a huge difference between before and after getting married.

After finishing grad school at State in 2011 I got a job that divides my time between Durham, Greenville, and Rocky Mount. After getting his PhD in May my husband got a job in Winston as a professor (it's a 1 to 3 year gig).

I've got an apartment in the triangle area, and he has one near his job, so we're not doing a long distance relationship, but maybe a "medium distance relationship" thing for a while. Spending weekends together, meeting half way for dinner on a regular basis during the week.

It's a little weird, but we've been together for 9 and half years so a little distance isn't a threat to the relationship or anything.

8/24/2012 1:43:44 PM

I was happy before I met her. She just brings me to a different level.

And I loved who I was a person before I met her as well. She's also improved me as a person in ways that I don't think I could have by myself (sometimes you need someone you care about to tell you things that you don't realize on your own...and your mother's nagging can only go so far).

I just think if you love someone enough to be with them for the rest of your life, then you want to be around that person as much as possible. Obviously there are limits, but in general, I think that holds true.

8/24/2012 1:46:56 PM

Then we can both continue to be glad we're in our own type of relationships, and not each other's

8/24/2012 1:51:02 PM

Good luck to you when you guys finally get together.

8/24/2012 1:53:10 PM

hopefully we won't bite each other's heads off

8/24/2012 1:54:12 PM

uh..yea

8/24/2012 1:54:42 PM

I thought Supplanter was aguy

8/24/2012 1:57:00 PM

He is...

8/24/2012 1:57:19 PM

every day! it is awesome!!

[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 1:58 PM. Reason : ]

8/24/2012 1:57:35 PM

hes a well known gay man

look at all the threads hes made it should be obvious, hes a good guy though



[Edited on August 24, 2012 at 1:58 PM. Reason : e]

8/24/2012 1:58:02 PM

oh

8/24/2012 2:01:32 PM

lol

8/24/2012 2:02:47 PM

I just glanced at 'my husband' lol

8/24/2012 2:12:48 PM