I have one in daycare, but what to do when #2 is made?

How do people afford it?

Any other nanny services I'm not considering?

11/6/2012 12:54:59 PM

Hell I don't even know how people afford one in daycare

11/6/2012 1:30:18 PM

Hate to throw the turd in the punchbowl, but staying at home and raising the kids is free (minus opportunity cost). It has been well worth it for my wife and I despite having to cut back on our lifestyle considerably.

11/6/2012 2:47:32 PM

most people I know ended up with one staying at home when #2 came around if one spouse didn't make enough to offset 2 in daycare.

or just time it to where one starts kindergarten prior to #2 going to daycare.

I've read some stuff that referenced research where larger age gaps result in better adjusted children due to the increased ability for parents to focus more time on each child during the formative years.

11/6/2012 2:50:16 PM

I think the 2nd kid is always screwed. My sister and I are five years apart and I have a feeling she would invalidate that research

11/6/2012 3:07:11 PM

i just picked up the paperwork to send parker to daycare starting monday. it's $128/week at the facility we chose.

have you looked on care.com or possibly for subsidized child care (if you would qualify for that kind of thing)?

11/6/2012 3:33:21 PM

wow, that's dirt cheap!

11/6/2012 4:51:09 PM

no shit that's less than dog boarding.... (lol)

11/6/2012 5:05:38 PM

it's rocky mount. we're poor here.

11/6/2012 5:06:31 PM

Quote :

"I've read some stuff that referenced research where larger age gaps result in better adjusted children due to the increased ability for parents to focus more time on each child during the formative years."

Must be why my siblings are kinda fuck-ups and I'm not. (They were close in age, and I was born 5.5 years after the last.)

11/6/2012 7:48:53 PM

I chose to stay at home when the first one was born and have been at home ever since (coming up on 5 years).

It was actually the money saving option, especially once we had two children. By the time we factored in what I would make as a teacher and deducted the cost of childcare and the cost of work (work clothes, supplies, gas, etc.) we really didn't come out ahead enough to justify turning over the care of our children to someone else.

Most of you know I worked in childcare for years prior to having my own. Here are some hokey alternatives to traditional daycare:

-A home daycare. While you really need to do your homework, I know of several parents who have found this to be a good option for them. A lot of times you'll have a SAHM former teacher type or retiree who has a small at home operation with just a few kids and reasonable rates. Just don't expect a 5 star rigorous preschool program.

-A family friend or neighborhood SAHM. Sometimes you just get lucky. I know of SAHMs with children in school who keep younger children. I know of young mothers who might take in a sibling pair in addition to her own to make some extra money. (I did this while at home with my first child.)

-Nanny share. When I worked in childcare, I was actually hired for this type of job. It's where two (or more) parents get together and pool their resources to hire a nanny for their children. It's less expensive than flat out hiring a nanny, but may not be cheaper than traditional daycare depending on where you live.

-Parent CoOp. This is great for people who live in larger cities or neighborhoods. A group of parents get together and actually find a way to care for their children among the group. This really only works though if everyone isn't working a traditional 9 to 5 work day. When you have some parents who work part time or work retail hours, it surprisingly works out to everyone's advantage.

-Alternating shifts. My older brother and his wife did this for years. My brother worked 3rd shift and my SIL worked 1st shift. Someone was always at home for their daughter. I think that this sucks if you do it all alone. BUT they did hire someone to come in for awhile so my brother could sleep. It was an older woman that they paid a sort of cut rate because dad was at home the entire time, even though he was asleep. This leads me to...

-Work from home. If you're going to work from home, though, hire someone to watch your children while you work. But because you're at home, you may feel more comfortable hiring someone older or younger or less qualified to care for your children than you might would ordinarily. This works. Some of my earliest childcare experience was as a "mother's helper." The pay was shit, but I had less liability because mom was always around to fall back on when something happened that was outside of my developing skill set and mom got the opportunity to lock herself in her home office for a few hours.

11/6/2012 9:10:17 PM

I was hired off care.com. the family I work for got both their nighttime/weekend sitters from there as well.

11/6/2012 11:15:33 PM

I stayed home to raise my son, and will continue when we have #2. It's awesome. I feel a little high-horse some times, but I'll have a relationship with my children that 99% of father's won't have.

I realize this is not an option for everyone. I have seen a lot of parents that are able to augment their work schedules so they can care for their children 1 or 2 days a week and sacrifice some night hours, or work at home with a nanny or nanny/share.

[Edited on November 6, 2012 at 11:45 PM. Reason : ]

11/6/2012 11:42:20 PM

^ that's great (and tiring!). wife works?

btw, i teach at a uni, so my hours are not like the typical working man's, and so i too, have a relationship with my child that 99% of father's won't/can't/are unable to.

11/7/2012 5:35:05 AM

fathers

11/7/2012 9:42:42 AM

holy shit... damn! that's the first time i have ever made that mistake! (honestly) in fact, it pisses me off when i see educated people making it all over the place

11/7/2012 11:53:38 AM

lol it did seem odd for you to be making that mistake.

11/7/2012 2:07:49 PM

Its most likely because I did it first.

^^^^And yeah my wife works for a great company in North Raleigh.

11/7/2012 3:10:16 PM

^ ha! yeah i guess the mental picture stayed in my head after reading your post, and then i simply transferred the pic onto the screen through the keyboard.

wow, the brain is awesome.

11/8/2012 7:08:02 AM

one of you go work for the daycare company?

Thats what we did when my wife had our first and second. She got like 50% off tuition the first year and then 75% off after she was there a year. I'm sure it varies from place to place but it might be an option for some folks.

[Edited on November 8, 2012 at 4:36 PM. Reason : c]

11/8/2012 4:36:09 PM