So, I currently ive in Raleigh and ive recently been offered a job position at a reasonably respected company in Charlotte. Basically, I keep wavering on what i want to do and can't tell if its reason or if i've just become a chicken shit since i've been stable a while. Here is the skinny:

The money isn't what I expected, about $3K more than I make now but it comes with a 22K after-tax signing bonus and an extra week of vacation. The job itsself is doing what I do now but within a larger company that has better resources and talent. Some of the catches are that I am married and my wife works. The field she is in is rather limited right now and no jobs seem to be available. Unfortunately, the signing bonus + increase doesn't match what we'd lose from her salary.

We also own in Raleigh, and live near downtown. Homes in our area are taking longer to sell, 4 to 5 months, but even though we wouldn't get what we paid for it, we'd definitely get $3 - $5K in equity. I'm a little intrepid about renting for a few months while carrying a mortgage and I'm not certain we could even rent as close to downtown Charlotte as we live here for our mortgage payment. I don't believe we could rent our place and get enough to pay the mortgage + property tax.

Then, of course, there is the fact that it is a new city and, really, I don't know shit about Charlotte. My wife is big into the creative scene here and we both enjoy the multiple museums and greenways available. I don't know if Charlotte matches up.

Any thoughts or knowledge anyone has on how the two cities pair, if the move would be worth it to them or what they would do would be appreciated.

11/9/2012 6:34:14 PM

i don't see much incentive, at least numbers-wise, tbh

11/9/2012 6:43:02 PM

Sounds like your mind is made up. What's the problem?

11/9/2012 7:00:03 PM

Don't take major life advice from strangers on the Internet. You know what you should do. Don't seek validation from strangers. They won't be there in 3 months when you wake up and regret your decision.

11/9/2012 7:02:05 PM

tww doesn't count as strangers to me.

^^its not made up. I'd really like the job, and I think that is part of the problem. If it were located in Raleigh for the same dough, I would take it in a second. If it were offered in Raleigh with no bonus and my current salary, I would still take it.

I suppose the real question is am I blowing all of those concerns I listed above out of proportion.

11/9/2012 7:06:16 PM

yeah, unless the "within a larger company that has better resources and talent" bit is going to really, seriously further your career, I'd say fuck it. the disadvantages seem plainly to outweigh the advantages.

I'm kind of indecisive myself and like to leave all doors open for as long as possible, because I'm terrified of making mistakes; but eventually you've got to settle your mind on the best option (which seems plain in this case) and take it.

11/9/2012 7:06:25 PM

$22k signing bonus? Christ, I need to change fields

11/9/2012 7:08:54 PM

Greenways: http://charmeck.org/mecklenburg/county/ParkandRec/Greenways/OpenGreenways/Pages/default.aspx

Art museums:
http://www.bechtler.org/
http://www.mintmuseum.org/
http://www.artgalleriescharlotte.com/

Discovery Place is a science museum mainly for kids, but they have exhibits also.

I don't know which type of creative scene you're talking about, but NoDa and Plaza Midwood are known for being artsy areas. The music scene is pretty terrible.

11/9/2012 7:09:28 PM

0: don't take the job
1: take the job

Put your mouse over the "generate" button. close your eyes and click. Open your eyes and this difficult life decision is done!



[Edited on November 9, 2012 at 7:14 PM. Reason : ]

11/9/2012 7:13:36 PM

The only way I would take it is if the new job really offers you a lot more room for growth. If I had a choice there is no way in hell I would rather live in Charlotte and the other things you mentioned like your wife's job and already owning a home would make that decision easy for me (unless you really don't have the growth potential now that you would there)

11/9/2012 8:00:26 PM

It's needless to say: the Triangle has overall better culture, the money and stress isn't worth the move, and you'll instantly lose $$ if your wife has to spend any time looking for a job. And renting out a house while you live in another city? Headaches r us.

11/9/2012 8:15:18 PM

you guys are nuts. charlotte is a great place to live.

11/9/2012 8:21:32 PM

Ketchup in BBQ.

11/9/2012 9:04:28 PM

Though I haven't lived there, I have family there, and I like Charlotte, so I don't think I have an anti-Charlotte sentiment or anything, but from the details you've presented it seems like staying in Raleigh makes more sense.

Is there any path for advancement at your current place of work, or ways to take on projects that make it more stimulating? A signing bonus of 22k doesn't sound as good as job security for your wife, especially if that 22k doesn't cover her salary. And if it took her a long time to find a job, what kind of strain would that cause?

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

11/9/2012 9:18:15 PM

[Edited on November 9, 2012 at 9:33 PM. Reason : nvm]

11/9/2012 9:32:52 PM

After spending some time in Charlotte, I can say a company would have to offer me a shitload to move down there. I literally laughed and left when the Mint Museum wanted $10 admission.

11/10/2012 8:29:48 AM

Quote :

"After spending some time in Charlotte, I can say a company would have to offer me a shitload to move down there."

did you spend all of your time uptown? if so, you fucked up.

Quote :

"I literally laughed and left when the Mint Museum wanted $10 admission."

it's a non-profit you know

[Edited on November 10, 2012 at 11:05 AM. Reason : .]

11/10/2012 11:04:54 AM

I'm not a fan of Charlotte either. But for a $22k signing bonus, I would learn to love it. And it could be MUUUUUUUCH worse, that's for sure.

11/10/2012 11:12:00 AM

^^ We actually didn't spend any time in the downtown area. And yes I get it's a non-profit but I'm not spending the same I would for the student rate at art museums in Chicago and NYC, especially when there's a free art museum here in Raleigh. In fact, I thought it was weird they didn't have any sort of student discount.

11/10/2012 11:55:00 AM

Quote :

"I'm a little intrepid about renting for a few months while carrying a mortgage and I'm not certain we could even rent as close to downtown Charlotte as we live here for our mortgage payment. I don't believe we could rent our place and get enough to pay the mortgage + property tax."

Did you mean to use the word intrepid?


intrepid [?n'tr?p?d]
adj
fearless; daring; bold

So you feel OK about renting and carrying a mortgage at the same time?

11/10/2012 4:57:37 PM

perhaps he meant "trepidation"

11/10/2012 6:16:45 PM

Stay in Raleigh.

11/10/2012 8:04:28 PM

Quote :

"Unfortunately, the signing bonus + increase doesn't match what we'd lose from her salary. "

I'm really missing what you would gain here. Larger company? They have their own disadvantages.

Reminds me of when I had to choose between Raleigh and Jersey City. I picked Jersey City because it was a permanent position, it had benefits, and the salary was slightly better. Seemed like a no brainer, but it was the biggest mistake of my life. My wife couldn't find a job (the hiring climate was horrible in NJ), we had an $1800/month rent payment, and I wasn't even doing the work I thought I would be. Moral of the story: don't be blinded by dollar signs, especially small increases that are going to be quickly outweighed by your other losses.

11/10/2012 11:48:36 PM

Could you "use" this job offer as a way to increase your current salary with your management?

11/10/2012 11:53:31 PM

22k....what do you do?

11/11/2012 8:43:48 AM

^^ people who do that are almost never with the company after a year

11/11/2012 10:19:51 AM

Quote :

"^^ people who do that are almost never with the company after a year"

I'm pretty sure this has some truth, but I think its largely exaggerated by recruiters.

11/11/2012 10:25:50 AM

Quote :

"...choose between Raleigh and Jersey City. I picked Jersey City...it was the biggest mistake of my life."

I know this is The Lounge, but wtf....anyone could've told you this

To the OP, personally I'd stay in Raleigh given your circumstances, but when does the new offer expire?

11/11/2012 10:52:35 AM

Quote :

"I literally laughed and left when the Mint Museum wanted $10 admission."

It's free on Tuesday nights dumbass.

11/11/2012 11:33:10 AM

^^har har har. Yea of course. But when money is on the table, it doesn't seem so obvious.

11/11/2012 11:51:40 AM

Quote :

"Quote : "^^ people who do that are almost never with the company after a year" I'm pretty sure this has some truth, but I think its largely exaggerated by recruiters. 11/11/2012 10:25:50 AM "

Think about the psychology it starts. Your manager starts to wonder how long it is before they have to compete against another offer, and you have to wonder how long they knew they were under paying you or how long they were under valuing you.

11/11/2012 1:49:44 PM

flip a coin.

while it's in the air, you'll instinctively hope for heads or tails depending on which one = take the offer and which one = stay put.

regardless of where the coin lands, you made your decision while it was in the air.

11/11/2012 2:21:21 PM

Quote :

"Kris All American 36198 Posts user info edit post Quote : "I literally laughed and left when the Mint Museum wanted $10 admission." It's free on Tuesday nights dumbass. 11/11/2012 11:33:10 AM"

We went there on the weekend. I'm not going to plan my vacation over a shitty overpriced art museum

11/11/2012 3:36:44 PM

When do you have to decide by?

11/11/2012 4:36:42 PM

Thanks to everyone so far.

^ I need to decide what I am going to do by Friday.

Someone asked what I would gain...basically switching would allow me to do the same job, Product Management, but do it for a more prestigious company and work with software rather than hardware. Moving from hardware to software is a switch that I've wanted to do for a while. This is also a "Leadership Development Program" and may offer more growth.

I've realized that if I rent my place in Raleigh that I don't need to rent it at the mortgage, just the price of what my rent in Charlotte would be. That alleviated some concerns. Does anyone have experience renting? How realistic is that goal?

I am considering asking the company to double the bonus, essentially removing concerns about my wife finding a job for a year.

With this new information, does it change anyone's perspective?

11/11/2012 11:02:30 PM

you mentioned your wife's field is rather limited and prospects for her in charlotte don't look good. Is she ok with a possible career-dead end? Are YOU ok with doing that to her? It's not only about you, and taking this job sounds like it would impact her career negatively.

Product management is not something that's particularly limited in Raleigh vs. Charlotte. And given that software is your preferred route, it would stand to reason that your overall industry prospects should be stronger in RTP. Why uproot you and your wife for what's ultimately a lateral move when you can probably find a similar lateral move in the triangle area with a little more patience?

good luck either way.

11/12/2012 12:16:32 AM

^^I think a bigger bonus would help move tip the scales some since it'd give her longer to try to find the job, but I don't think them agreeing to it would be an automatic deciding factor for me if I was in a similar position. Depending on your financial situation you'd probably need to treat those funds as her salary rather than as some kind of windfall to spend on fun stuff, which for me would take away some of the excitement of a big bonus, but not the utility of it. What thoughts has your wife expressed about the idea of the move and career shake up?

11/12/2012 10:11:18 AM

Isn't renting almost always more than mortgages prices? or do you plan on living in a shittier place?

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

11/12/2012 10:16:19 AM

Quote :

"Someone asked what I would gain...basically switching would allow me to do the same job, Product Management, but do it for a more prestigious company and work with software rather than hardware. Moving from hardware to software is a switch that I've wanted to do for a while."

Why didn't you say so? If doing that is really important to you, I'd say go for it.

Quote :

"I am considering asking the company to double the bonus, essentially removing concerns about my wife finding a job for a year."

Are there companies that really hand out $60k bonuses for product managers? Damn.

11/12/2012 11:43:12 AM

Quote :

"Isn't renting almost always more than mortgages prices? "

It depends so much on housing costs between the two cities but I would think between Charlotte and Raleigh that would be the general case.

11/12/2012 11:49:51 AM

^Bobby

I hear you about limiting my wife's career. That was a concern of mine but she is concerned we'll limit our total earning power if we don't take it. I also agree that Raleigh and Durham aren't without Product Management positions but I've tried to get into software here for a while now and have leveraged networks to speak with recruiters at target companies. The feedback they all have shared is that, although my experience is good, they're looking for someone with software management.

^^my thoughts exactly.

^ Smaller. a one bedroom apartment instead of a 3 bedroom townhome.

11/12/2012 11:51:03 AM

One thing to consider when switching jobs is simply security. Moving on up to a bigger company with more people has its benefits but it also puts you into a place where you may be more easily let go and in todays economy that should be considered. I know several people that opted for large companies over smaller more secure ones and while they may have had better benefits or outlooks at the time they also ended up in the unemployment line. Based on the info you have shared I would lean towards staying in Raleigh. While it could work out great all it takes is your wife having trouble finding work or some major repair required on your house while renting it to make that bonus disappear fast and put you into negative cash flow.

11/12/2012 12:18:42 PM

Quote :

"We went there on the weekend. I'm not going to plan my vacation over a shitty overpriced art museum"

So you went on vacation and you had to pay to do things!? Who could have imagined!

11/12/2012 12:26:18 PM

dude, why should they have to pay to see hundreds of historical art pieces?

[Edited on November 12, 2012 at 1:11 PM. Reason : definitely not being sarcastic]

11/12/2012 1:10:50 PM

It's usually common to charge for entertainment.

11/12/2012 1:29:08 PM

I like how we're arguing about $10 when the numbers that matter are increments of $10,000.

11/12/2012 2:20:07 PM

Quote :

" I literally laughed and left when the Mint Museum wanted $10 admission."

Badass alert.

11/12/2012 2:24:12 PM

Quote :

"So you went on vacation and you had to pay to do things!? Who could have imagined! "

lol you own stock in the museum or something? Not sure why you're so butthurt about it. My point was I pay similar prices to see much larger/better art museums so I don't see why they're charging that much for a small museum in Charlotte, NC, of all places. Guess I'm just spoiled from having so many free/cheap choices in the Triangle to see the same sort of thing.

11/12/2012 2:39:38 PM

I paid $10 (if that) to get into MOMA

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

[Edited on November 12, 2012 at 2:43 PM. Reason : with a student discount but still...]

11/12/2012 2:43:13 PM

Quote :

"Not sure why you're so butthurt about it."

I'm not butthurt, I am just pointing out how ridiculous it sounds to say that a city sucks because you had to pay to go to a museum.

11/12/2012 2:46:37 PM